The Wolf and the Raven
by MoonPrincess623
Summary: Saving our people destroyed them. My punishment is this half-life, magic given to a body without it; a life of death. Before, I always followed, but my redemption lies in leading. With those I once were blind to, will I lead us to destruction or salvation? From the Blight, to Kirkwall, and into the heart of the Inquisition. Death will always follow the Raven, and she the Wolf.
1. DA:O Part 1

**Moon SAYS: **So next chapter; I have only written the Prologue and DA:O. I honestly don't know when the rest will be posted.

**NOTES: **Lot of information, but please be warned. I AM NOT POSTING OR COVERING THE ENTIRE GAME. When I get to DA: 2, maybe I'll do more. It's her story after all, this isn't. And I want to hurry so I can get to DA:I. Be nice, give it a chance.

**PAGES: 14**

**WORDS: 6, 344**

**POSTED: 17 Feb 2015**

**~The Wolf and the Raven~**

**~Chapter 1- Dragon Age Origins Part 1~**

"Tell me, how much longer till we get to Lothering? I want to see Carver," I whined. It deserves the bastard right to listen to me whine. After all, it was because of him we were late. We just_ had_ to take the body of the dead Crow to some unknown place near Denerim, burn the body, and bury the ashes. Paranoid bastard.

The elf just chuckled. "Trust me; I know how they search for missing Crows. Although, it might have been better to leave his body in a whorehouse and…adjust his corpse to look like he had been killed by a whore. Ah, I imagine it to be a wonderful way to go."

I rolled my eyes, but a smile tugged at my lips. "I'll make sure you die while suffering from the aftermath of sex."

"Don't knock it till you try it, my dear," my Master laughed. He had been repeating that phrase ever since we heard some junkie say it in Antiva last year. Or did we hear it in the Free Marshes? I just cannot remember.

"Hmm…and how would I do that when you keep threatening or chopping off limbs of any suitors?" I replied with a smirk.

"Oh, you wound me! I don't do it _all _the time…there was that beautiful eleven whore in, was it two cities back? Ah, so many whores one cannot remember them all." Zevran said with a look of almost bliss on his face.

We weren't even twenty minutes away from his latest whore house that we saw a red-head with a bow. I knew immediately that she was a scout. She also seemed to be in the company of a dwarf…I've seen stranger pairings.

I had the sudden urge to ask her about Lothering especially since we had a report that Darkspawn was seen near the Wilds. That and apparently there were Grey Wardens at Ostagar. Making sure my hood was secure and a nod to my Master to vanish, I approached her. "Excuse me serrah, do you have any news of Lothering?"

The archer stopped and seemed to hesitate before she answered in an Orlesian accent. "We left Lothering a week ago, but we have seen refugees run. It was overrun with Darkspawn. After Ostagar was taken, the Darkspawn are heading north. I'm sorry to bare such news."

I nodded and felt ice fill my veins. "Thank you, serrah. Safe travels in this uncertain time."

We parted, and I went straight to my Master. "My brothers would have been at Ostagar…I would have felt something if they were dead. The Fade…" I trailed off, unsure of how to tell the elf how exactly the Fade connected with my knowing.

"The Fade?" he raised an eyebrow. "I was under the impression that you _couldn't_ connect with the Fade. Not like most mages."

I shrugged. "Maybe I'm developing? Let's head back to Denerim and see if we can send out searchers."

It took us no time to reach the city again, and daylight had not completely fallen before I sent out my feelers. I made sure to have the contacts in nearby ports, nearby villages, and cities aware of whom I was looking for.

Twilight fell when I was done, and Zev came back with a message. "A new contract. Are you ready to go, my darling?"

I nodded to him, grateful he didn't ask me how I was doing. He knew how I was doing, and he knew what would make it better.

~Wolf and Raven~

Wardens…who knew people would actually want to kill them especially with Darkspawn running about. I knew something was fishy, especially when, even with my hood up but looking into my eyes, Howe didn't even recognize me. I had almost asked why they were to be killed, but my Master signaled for me to leave it be.

Imagine my surprise as I watched from my place on the right hill, that it was Elissa that was the Grey Warden. Did Howe know? But more than that, why was she one?

As five minute had gone by, I saw my cousin was looking a little worse for wear. I was a tad bit upset, though, that Zev would attack her. Maybe he didn't get a good look at her face. I grew bored with watching and thinking. I pulled out a small knife from my boot as I stood up.

"About time you stupid cunt," the idiot archer near me spat. I shoved my knife in his neck before quickly grabbing his bow and what was left of his arrows.

My cousin's archer was working on the other hill, so I decided to help her out on my side. With practiced but not too sure ease (it had been awhile since I used a bow), I took out the fools on my side of the hill. Out of the fifteen arrows left, I had seven. I took a deep breath and aimed for the two that the other archer hadn't taken out. As soon as I let the second arrow loose, she turned straight to me.

Huh, it was that woman who told me of Lothering. I ignored her and took out another arrow and aimed it at the mage that she couldn't see because he was hiding behind the tree near her. When the arrow bounced off, I narrowed me eyes. A barrier…really? Zev always knew how to hire the mages that always got in my way.

I sighed and used the remaining four arrows on the fools hiding behind the wagons near my Master. As soon as he heard the arrow, his eyes snapped to mine. I saw the eyebrow raised and sent a smirk in return before I took a running start and jumped off the hill-cliff and headed straight toward the mage.

Zev had brought three with him, and I noticed there was a scantily dressed mage working her way through the second one as I headed for the third.

My cousin was just full of surprises wasn't she?

Her mage had killed the second enemy mage and was tearing down the third's barrier as I appeared behind the poor bastard. The barrier went down just as I backstabbed him. To make sure he didn't try anything else, I quickly chopped off his head. Mages were tricky bastards.

I winked at the mage and headed toward my cousin. She had just finished off the last of Zev's forces and was standing over him. He wasn't lying too far from the hill where the mages were stationed. He should have spread them out, really, but that wasn't something to think for another time.

"Mmm…what? I…oh. I rather thought I would wake up dead or wake up not at all as the case might be. But I see you haven't killed me yet. Ohh, you're an aggressive little minx aren't you? Lovely, too. But if it is questions you want to ask me, let me save you some time and get right to the point. My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends. I am a member of the Antivian Crows bought here for the sole purpose to slay any surviving Grey Wardens. Which I have failed that, sadly."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," my cousin replied with a snort.

"Ohh," Zev started but I cut his ass off.

"As much as it pains me to stop you from flirting and making a fool of yourself, I'm rather bored." I called out to my Master. "And I'm hungry, Master. Feed me!"

My cousin's head snapped up to where I was sitting with my legs kicking out into the air.

"Master? You failed to mention _that _name," Elissa distractedly commented. She'd probably have said something to me but she was shocked at seeing me.

"Well, you can call me whatever you wish. Slave has nice ring to it…in certain settings. Like one with a bed, chains, maybe some handcuffs?" Zev cheekily proposed.

"Gross. Did I tell you family was off limits?" I whined again as I jumped down. I looked down at him, sighed, and then looked at Elissa. "Feed me?" I asked with puppy dog eyes. "He's always too lazy. See?" I pointed at him still lying on the ground. "I tell him I'm hungry and he _still _lies on the ground."

"We already have two dogs in this company, we don't need another one," the mage drily stated as she looked at me unimpressed. "We do have enough begging as it is, no need for more."

I considered for a second and nodded. I bent down and helped Zev up. "So you're a Grey Warden…what happened? Does Howe know?"

Elissa seemed taking back by my question. "Why do you ask about Howe?" then her brain started working and I saw her eyes hardened as she grew angry. "He was the one who hired the Crows to kill the Wardens didn't he?" she demanded.

I nodded as I helped support my Master. My cousin had knocked him out pretty good for him to be this unsteady. "He didn't even recognize me. I'm not that surprised, but still, he was going to marry off one of his sons to me. You'd think he'd remember my face. By the way, what did he do to piss you off, decide you'd have to stop playing with swords once you married his other boy?" I teased.

"Oh ho! I heard that missy. I thought I was the only one you teased sexually," my Master pouted.

The anger in my cousin's eyes immediately left and was replaced with embarrassment and a nice shade of red to her cheeks. "Stop playing with swords?" she hissed, "what do you take me for, a whore?"

"Hey now, there is nothing wrong with whores. My mother was one," Zevran interjected acting offended, but I knew he was enjoying our byplay.

"Clearly," Morrigan said as she looked at him with disgust. She had been on the receiving end of his flirting for years. I always liked coming home because it meant a stop or two to see her and her mother. Flemeth taught me more than I would ever know. It was only when I met her toward the end that I realized what she had done.

"Whoa, hold up, how do you all know each other?" the only man other than Zevran asked.

Elissa and I shared a look before smiling. "Cousins."

"Huh, so you're family with assassins. Might have been good to know _before_ we were ambushed."

I chuckled as I took him in. "He's adorable. Where did you pick this stray up?"

Elissa giggled when the man stuttered a response about not being a dog. "He is a fellow Warden," she sobered up then. "Come, we're on our way to the Tower. I'll fill you in there."

I clapped. "Yay, I get to see Cullen again; I don't normally see him so soon."

"When was the last time you were there?" Elissa questioned as we started to leave the battlefield, her companions listening carefully.

As we walked and I held Zev up, I reached into his bag and got a potion out for him to drink. Once he did, I let him go and fell into step with her. "When we came back to Ferelden, we stopped there first. The Crows sent us here because their contacts said there were a couple of contracts that would need to be filled soon. The first one we got, I destroyed all evidence. I didn't even see who sent it. I didn't care to look once I saw that someone wanted the Couslands dead. That delayed us from finding my family. Lothering was destroyed…" I trailed off, trying not to worry about my family.

Elissa wrapped her arm around my shoulders and squeezed me to her. "I saw them when we went through. In fact, we met Carver and Garrett on the way to Lothering. They left before the Darkspawn reached Lothering. In fact, Carver said if I saw you, he had no doubt I would," my cousin giggled, "that I should tell you they would be okay. When they reached safety, he would send a message to your contact in Denerim."

"I told you they were okay, cara mia," Zev called out to me from behind us where I knew the other three were holding him within weapon's distance in case he tried something. "This is going to be so much fun."

Yes, I had no doubt it would be. How could it not? Death everywhere!

~Wolf and Raven~

The Knight-Commander wasn't going to let my cousin through, Warden or not, until he saw me and Zev. Apparently, he was more confident in us solving the situation than the other ones. I couldn't doubt him, he didn't even know them.

"Since the two of you know the tower, you will be our scouts. You can tell us what's going on and where we are needed." Elissa was always the commander.

We left her little group made up the adorable boy, a Circle mage, and a Qunari (after I suggested that another warrior would be better than an archer). Morrigan told us in no uncertain terms she didn't wish to go inside. Saying something about them making their bed and they should lie in it.

We headed sneaky like through the first floor covering the entire thing in less than ten minutes. When we couldn't avoid it, we destroyed shades and demons alike, but we usually went undetected. When we reported about on the first floor, Elissa decided that we should just go together. She'd send us a head a few rooms, but it'd be faster if they started clearing it out instead of waiting for us to finish. Or at least that's what she said after the Circle Mage complained that we wasted time that could be used to save others.

Second floor had a fucking Revenant. We triggered the bitch by accident, and Elissa came running when she heard us fighting.

I can't remember which floor had a Tranquil or the wardrobe mage, but I made sure they were sealed in with a ward or two to keep them safe.

The third floor had a room that I refuse to let Elissa go into. I practically had to shove my entire body into hers and throw her back so she wouldn't go in it.

"What the fuck?" Elissa cried as her head snapped back and body collided with the wall behind her.

"Don't go in there," I warned her. "There is something in that…I can _feel_ the Veil torn." I racked my brain to try and figure out what could be behind that door.

"How do you know that, child? I do not feel such. The Veil in the entire Tower is torn." Wynne questioned me, then as an afterthought she caught my other words. "How do you feel the Veil torn? You are not a mage...are you?"

I growled at her. "Besides the fact that the Veil is torn so great that even a non-mage can feel it? Yes, I do feel it." I shivered. "The Fade isn't supposed to be like this. It's not like the rest of the place." I stared at the door trying hard to sense what was on the other side. "I'm extremely sensitive to magic to the point I can, like a Templar, sense magic not only in a person but if it is used."

Zev came to my rescue before the others could question my ability and the fact I didn't answer the question about being a mage or not. "Is it a demon?"

My eyes lit up and I turned to him. "It's not an ordinary demon like the Rage ones we have fought so far. This is isn't mindless. That's why it feels different. There is a higher level demon inside that room and it's half in the Fade and not. Let's see if there is a way around it."

"NO!" Wynne thundered. "We have to defeat it and see if there are those in there that can be saved."

Elissa was a quiet for a moment. "Let's check out the rest of the floor first. If it is a higher level demon then it will be a difficult fight. I don't want to be weak when trying to take on something else. We will destroy it," she assured Wynne when the older woman wanted to argue, "but we need to see if there are others to rescue first—those people in there, if there are, they aren't going anywhere."

Zev and I nodded, and we were gone before they had started to take past it.

They caught up to us as we were finishing up raiding the First Enchanter's study. I had found an interesting book for Morrigan to look through. I could have sworn I had seen something like it before.

After exploring the rest of the floor, we discovered that it was blocked off and we had to go through the demon to advance.

I didn't expect a Sloth Demon. They are always so annoying. When I felt him start to gather power, I launched myself at him, and I ended up cutting him too before my vision went black.

When I woke, I noticed everything around me was faded. It didn't look like the normal world. I started panicking. I was in the Fade.

My entire being was split into two at that moment. One part felt at home, confident that nothing here could hurt me for I had power. There other was panicking.

_I'malone.I'malone.I'malone.I'malone.I'malone._

That one thought was taking over me to the point that the other part, the one at ease, was being drowned out. I was scared. I didn't want it to be the way it was. I didn't want to be trapped again. Waiting. Just waiting for someone to hear me, someone to notice me, someone to want me.

_ . ._

_Again._

That was when I felt something. Something came up behind me and arms wrapped around me. The warmth was soothing and the peace started to overrule my fear.

"It's okay. I'm here. I won't leave you…you aren't alone. I found you again. You will never be alone again."

The soothing voice was something that was tugging at my memories.

Faith? No. Angst? Definitely not. Longing? A deep pain sliced through me. No, dead. That only left…

"Yes, you needed me, called for me, so I am here."

I took deep breaths to calm myself, to allow myself to relax. "What about the others? Can you sense them? Did you hear anything about them?"

I felt him shake his head. "I felt you come. You've been gone so long…" he trailed off; he had no need to explain. I understood him. "The Sloth demon tried to pull you under one of his fake dreams. You resisted enough to confuse him. He couldn't hear your song…he didn't know what you wanted, needed. It was the same with the other one who was with you. Sadly, there were four who he did hear."

I wanted to turn around, look at him, embrace him, but I knew I couldn't. I'd be gone soon. I was already hurting over…no, must not think about it. I couldn't bear to see someone I cared for only to lose him when I returned. I knew I wouldn't wholly remember him either. My mind would try and protect me. It would place him deep inside me.

"That's okay. You won't forget me; you never have. You sing to me always. I've been watching over you, your dreams. You're safe. You're not alone. Never again…that's what we promised. And if it hurts to look, don't look. I never want to hurt you. Someday, you will see me, and it won't hurt."

I laughed softly. "Oh, Lath, it will be soon. We will be together again, just you wait."

He squeezed me once more before I felt him fade away. I knew he would watch over me as I traveled a place I had never been before but was so familiar. Sometimes I hated the fact that my memories came and went. I knew my mind did it to protect me and no overwhelm me, but it was getting tiring.

~Wolf and Raven~

I hadn't been far from Elissa, and we went from one of our friends to another. Each friend disappeared once we made them realize they were in the Fade—it always involved a fight. I stayed back for Elissa's friends, but when it came to my Master, she let me wake him up.

I watched him being tortured and was curious…was this a memory? Elissa poked me after I stayed there watching the scene for a few minutes. "As lovely as it is to see him naked, go, she commanded.

"Master?" I called tentatively to him as I walked toward him. "When did you get tortured like this?" my curiosity got the better of me, so sue me. Besides, he liked pain.

"Master?" Zevran asked with confusion heavy in his voice. "But I'm not yet a Crow…"

I ignored everyone else and focused on him. "Zev, you're in the Fade. Remember the Sloth demon? HE trapped you here, and, like always, I am here to save your skinny ass."

"But you like my ass skinny! You always said it was easy to kick…" he paused as everything was coming back to him. "I'm not the one who always needs saving. You're the damsel—"

He was cut off by the fight, and then he disappeared afterwards before he could say anything.

"Have you ever seen him naked before?" Elissa asked. Apparently, curiosity ran in our blood.

"He likes to sleep in the nude." I replied. "And before you ask, he wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. We flirt, but he sees me as a daughter, a sister more often than not. It' not fair! He corrupts my mind, and then when something may happen with someone, he goes all papa bear." I grumbled.

She only laughed at me. I had to wonder why she asked though…was his charm working on her, I wondered?

~Wolf and Raven~

As we were almost to the top, the chamber where they did the Harrowings, there was a man behind a barrier. I was horrified as I realized who it was.

"Cullen," I whispered in pain as I pushed my body into the barrier, trying to get to him. "What happened? What have they done to you?"

"This trick again? I know what you are. It won't work. I will stay strong." Cullen moves to his knees.

"Cullen," I said softly as I move to my knees with him. "It's really me. Whatever they've done to you…they will pay. I will rip them apart…" I trailed off as I saw his eyes widened.

"Your eyes…Mora? Is it really you? Oh thank the Maker. They deserve to die, all of them! Uldred most of all. They caged us like animals. Looked for ways to break us. They tried to use you to get to me. I'm the only one left. They turned some into monsters, and…there was nothing I could do." My Templar sounded so broken. "Only mages are susceptible to the whisperings of demons."

"That's enough! It is a discussion for another time. Irving and the other mages who fought Uldred, where are they?" Wynne snapped and took control of talking with Cullen. Bitch, how dare she snap at him?

"They are in the Harrowing Chamber," because, really, where else was there in this damn Tower they could be? "The sounds coming from in there, oh Maker."

"They are in grave danger, we must hurt." Wynne urged Elissa.

"You can't save them. You don't know what they've become!"

"He's right, Elissa." I agreed as I turned to her. "They could already have demons inside of them and we might never know."

"But what if they aren't possessed?" Elissa questioned. "Can you use your sensor powers to figure it out? You knew that there was that demon on the other side of the door."

I looked at Cullen, and his eyes demanded me to kill them. For Justice, for safety. I turned to my Master and he only shrugged at me. Either way, he didn't care. He'd prefer to kill, but he'd follow.

"They've been surrounded by blood mages whose wicked fingers snake into your mind and corrupt your thoughts."

"Wicked fingers, eh?" Zev asked, but everyone ignored him.

Alistair spoke for the first time. "His hatred for mages is so intense…the memory of his friends' deaths is still fresh in his mind."

"Wouldn't your mind be consumed with the memory as well?" I snarled. "You don't know what it's like to watch your friends die because of magic, especially blood magic."

My intense reply shut him up and the others' eyes went wide. Zev's eyes softened. "You can't forget?"

"He died saving me! How could I ever forget Fenrir? I still can't sleep without seeing, _feeling_, the blood magic wash over us." I shivered the ghost of the nightmare was haunting even awake.

Cullen reached a hand up as if he wanted to comfort me but the magic cage stopped him. "You understand, especially with how special you are, the danger of mages and magic. You have to end it now before it's too late."

"I want to save everyone that it is possible to save if I can." Elissa insisted.

"Are you really saving anyone by taking this risk? What if they are corrupted? Even if they don't have demons inside of them, hiding, waiting, how long before they repeat the horrors of what happened here? A good bit of good mages turn to blood magic because they are scared. Who's to say in a day, week, or month they won't resort to it because for any reason?" Cullen took a breath. "To ensure that this horror is ended…to guarantee that no abominations or blood mages live, you must kill everyone."

Elissa struggled with what to do. I could see it in her eyes that she knew I was right, that Cullen was right, the risk was great. But in the end, she was soft.

"I'd rather let maleficarum live if it meant that innocents wouldn't be harmed."

"I knew you would make the rational choice." Wynne commented.

"Rational? How is this rational? Do you understand the danger?" he turned to me, his anger more than clear, and he pleaded with me. "Don't let them do this. You know this is a mistake."

Wynne responded with a calm voice but it didn't help. She only made it worse. She accused him of being angry and taking it out on others. Fool. If it was one thing I knew, it was that Cullen put the Templar order before anyone and everything. When he found out I could do magic, he had me tested immediately—he didn't lock me up first because he believed me when I said I wasn't a mage. I had to tell him what happened, but he trusted me enough to have me tested instead of locking me up.

The Qunari spoke for the first time. "He is right. The infection must be cleansed before it spreads."

After my cousin Warden persuaded him that this wasn't so simple, I spoke up.

"We have wasted enough time arguing. Just go, Warden. We will deal with what happens to the rest of them later. Uldred needs to be dealt with now. "

She nodded, and we with her crew, they headed up. I turned toward Cullen and I gave him a nod and left with them.

After we had killed the abominations and Uldred, I had turned to finish the rest of them off when Wynne got in my way.

"I will kill you old woman with no regret at all." I warned her.

I gave a cruel smile when I heard my master say, "That's my girl!"

It was only when Elissa commanded me to stand down that I did. I looked at her hard, and then I realized that it wasn't her decision—it as the Knight-Commander's. He already trusted me more than my Cousin. She had never been around mages and magic before.

When we got to the Knight-Commander, the arguing started. Wynne, Cullen, and Irving, back and forth.

"Enough," I coldly demanded. "You're arguing makes me want to mash my head into the wall, and Maker knows I will take it out on all of you."

The Knight-Commander appraised me and the others before replying. "I am inclined to take Irving's world for it, but," he paused. "You, my Lady Crow, tend to have a six sense about matters of magic. What are your thoughts?"

I saw the Warden, my cousin, grit her teeth. Had she become accustomed to the power of command? She had always wanted to be like her father and brother: at the head of armies. And now she was finding I was out ranking her. Pity thing jealousy is.

My decision should have been backing up Cullen, but I knew my Master and I were going to be spending the Blight with her (he was developing a crush I could see), so I decided to be diplomatic.

"As much as I want to not take any risk, we are in a Blight. Knight-Commander, I say test every fucking mage that survived. I'd say using the Binding would work. If there is an abomination inside any of the mages, then cutting off their access to magic would surely kill it. As for the blood mages…unless they've used blood already, you can't tell."

Wynne of course was outraged that I suggest binding a mage's magic.

"It's better than killing them!"I snapped. "There is a fucking Blight out there right now. We don't need another blood mage rebellion in this Circle. Besides, it isn't permanent. There have been tests done that show an abomination cannot live without magic for a week. And that's because that how long it takes to get the magic from a mage's system. Take it or leave it."

I could see the tension leave the Knight-Commander. He knew that trusting Irving was a risk, and after what just happened…it seemed like he didn't really want to risk it. My solution worked for everyone.

I spared a glance at my new commander. She nodded her approval at me. We both knew the risk was great. After all, the treaties were useless if no one was allowed to answer to them. Besides, she didn't want to fight alongside blood mages either.

~Wolf and Raven~

I never really liked Orzammar nor was I too fond of the Deep Roads. I decided to stay with my new friend, the almost-Templar Warden. I had told my cousin of my…condition. And the Qunari, Sten. Actually, I told him first. After we left Kinloch Hold first.

Apparently, my cousin gets weirded out when she hears people speaking in a language she doesn't know. I was brutally honest with the Sten, and he believed me. I told him of my time with his people, of what they had thought my condition was, and where they placed me.

"You follow the Qun?" he asked surprised.

I shrugged. "Not really. I was lost, and I didn't understand what happened to me. The Qun, the Qunari, they helped. But I can't truly follow the Qun because of what I am. I don't fit in, but it doesn't stop the Arishok from giving me a job or two. He called his Halfling. I was half in half out. He tried making me do different jobs, but none stuck quite like me killing shit."

"I've heard of the Halfling. I will be honored to be your Arvaarad despite you not being a Saarabas."

My cousin was pretty okay with it; she was also okay with me not using the magic at my command, "It's your choice," she said, "but I expect if we are dying or about you, you do what you have to to keep us alive."

While she had fun in the Deep Roads, I was assigned with my almost-Templar Warden buddy, Sten, and Morrigan. Elissa took the rest with her into the Deep Roads, the archer, though, was the stay at camp to protect our Dwarves. My job was to run around Orzammar helping people, gaining influence for whoever we decided to be King, and to keep from getting bored really.

"Excuse me, serrah," I paused as a female Dwarf was calling for me. Apparently the girl wanted to study magic though she had no magic. Dwarves don't have magic…

I raised an eyebrow as I considered her. "I think sometimes an outside perspective does help, but I wouldn't want to go to the Circle in Ferelden. It may be closer, little one, but it just suffered from a blood mage/abomination assault." I stopped and considered what other Circles would be okay when it hit me. "I'll do you one better, kid. I've got contacts in the University of Orlais. Do you want me to ask them if they will accept you?"

The way she nodded made me think her head was going to fall off. I went from there to find my contacts here and sent off the message.

By time they returned from the Deep Roads, I had already sent Dagna on her way, and Bhelen was well on his way to being King.

I was just glad when it was over and ready to move on until she told me where to. I shared a look with my Master. Forests, really? I had to put my foot down. I wasn't going, and I wasn't going to wait around while she finished with the Dalish.

Instead of being upset that I questioned her command, which I thought she would be with the way she acted before, she just laughed.

"Fine, go take your team to Redcliffe. Alistair said he grew up there and he is a Warden, so you should be okay."

I agreed and told her to meet me in Lothering when she got finished. If she got finished before we did, she was to make her way to us.

It was kind of funny, though, that despite only defending the blasted village from the undead, she had finished at the same time as we did. Unfortunately, for her at least, it took her time to reach us. By the time she did find us, we had already stormed Redcliffe Castle and were waiting for her to see what to do about hunting for some mystical Ashes.

While we did defend the Village, I think I earned a follower for life. I found Sten's sword (and I didn't do it on purpose). Inside the Castle, though Alistair loved me for finding him something of his mother's, but that kind of got canceled out when I used blood magic to dispossess the boy.

"I can't believe you are considering this! Especially after you said at the Tower. You wanted to kill each and evil blood mage there, even if a mage didn't happen to be one. And now, you want to do it?" the young bastard prince questioned me.

Yeah, that I wasn't expecting either. Of course, I wasn't expecting zombies either, but I don't think anyone expect those. If I never see another one of them again, I'll think I'll be happy.

I growled at the boy. He wasn't being adorable now. "We have no choice! How long would it take to get the Tower? Does this boy have that long before the demon breaks hold of the stasis I have it in? Let's say for the argument, that we can save the boy even wasting time, are the mages recovered enough to be able to do this? I don't think there is enough. Make forbid how much Lyrium it'll take. I hate that we have to use blood magic, but magic is tool. It is to serve man. We can control it."

He snorted. "And how many abominations said that?"

I blinked and giggled. "Now, you're adorable again."

"Stop flirting and just do it." Morrigan rolled her eyes, although I could tell she was amused. There was also something in her eyes…like she knew something I didn't. Maybe she knew why I detested blood magic and another part of me was clinical and okay about it. It's probably just like before when I went into the Fade, half of me felt like home and the other freaked out.

"Besides, you need to stop telling him he is adorable. If he doesn't burn from the embarrassment, your Master will kill him because the elf will think he is corrupting you."

Good point. I ignored the Warden getting all huffy, and tell the blood mage to get started.

"You will need a mage to go into the Fade," his eyes went to Morrigan. "Are you ready?"

The Apostate chuckled darkly. "I do not fancy going into the Fade. You will do it, Raven."

I rolled my own eyes. "I expected that. Just start," I ordered the mage who started all of this.

He came to me again. This time he didn't just watch over me; he fought the Desire demon with me. I was actually going to talk with the demon, I was curious of what it was that I desired, but my Guardian didn't let it get that far. The demon stood no chance.

When I came out of the Fade, my Master was there holding my body. "Welcome back, did you bring me something?"

A few in the room laughed, others smiled. "Am I not gift enough?" I pouted, playing as if I was upset that I wasn't enough.

Then it was ruined when Alistair told on me.

"Not cute!" I groaned as I stood up. "Not cute at all to tattle on someone."

~Wolf and Raven~


	2. DA:O Part 2

**MOON SAYS**: Last Origins chapter posted; I don't know when I will get time to write more seeng as I should have been doing school work. I'm a little behind.

**NOTES**: about her name: Mortia. In Latin, which is what Tevene is based off of (so I've heard) Mortis/Mors is the name of Death. So I kind of made both into a name. I figure Hawke's mother doesn't know the language and in this fic, this is where daddy Hawke is from. So that's the language, now for the name…that is because he knows his debt with the Crows, and they show up, so he names his child after her future job.

**Pages**: 15

**Words**: 7, 328

**Posted**: 17 Feb 2015

**~The Wolf and the Rave~**

**~Chapter 1: Dragon Age Origins Part 2~**

"So, Hawke, do you know anything about this Urn of Sacred Ashes?" Elissa asked me.

We were in camp trying to figure out what to do next when she called on me. Damn it, she was using that tone again.

"Hawke?" Liliana asked. "You're name is Hawke? I thought it was Mora…or Raven."

I sighed and leaned against the tree I was standing against. "My parents named me Mortia (you say it Mor-ta) Hawke. Hawke is my last name, which means Blondie over there is pissed at me. Is this about not waiting to go castle hunting? There were zombies running around; I had to stop it, and you weren't there."

"No, da'len, it's about the blood magic," my Master answered for his boyfriend. Elissa was more like a guy anyway, so I called her his boyfriend. Even if it was in my mind, I called for payback for calling me that. I'm not a child…but he uses it when he scolds me.

"I already told Alistair my point on this, go talk to him. I won't say it again. Now as for the Urn, why not go ask that guy who writes all those books about the world because he can't sit still…the Brother whatsit."

The Bard knew what I was talking about. She said he lived in Denerim, so we headed there. While there, though, my cousin had a few personal problems on her hand. Alistair wanted to see his sister, and the Bard was being hunted. While she took care of that, I headed off with Sten and Morrigan to find out about the Urn. They couldn't care less about what was going on. My Master though seemed to be attached at her hip. And when I leveled him with a look, he came with me.

"You're ignoring me," I muttered to him as we headed through city.

"Are you jealous?" he replied back just as quietly. "You know that no one can replace you."

"Even a fuck buddy?" I snapped and ignored him for the rest of the walk.

What had happened in the Fade, both times, had hit me hard. It reawakened my fear of being alone. That was someone me and…someone I couldn't remember had in common. We had been alone in the beginning and it was only with each other that we really found someone who would stay. The Guardians had come after we meet. It was…the Wolf would have helped me get them out. He helped me remember.

I shook off those thoughts and continued on with the journey. We had things to do.

~Wolf and Raven~

"Is that a dragon? We are going to sneak around it…right?" my Master questioned his boyfriend.

I looked at the Dragon and at the Temple. "If we could sneak past it to get to the Temple, we still will have to fight it when we leave it. Do you want to fight it while holding an urn? If there is an Urn?"

Elissa agreed with me.

And that at is when I helped take down my first dragon. Sigh, it was glorious.

"We are ridiculously awesome," was all Zev had to say after we fought the thing.

When we got to the Temple, I stopped. Something was making me uneasy. The Warden noticed. "What's wrong?" she asked, instantly on edge.

I tried to find the words. "There is too much magic in there. Besides, what if more of those freaking dragon-lovers come? I'm staying out here to make sure nothing disrupts you."

Elissa nodded, she thought it was a good plan. "Sten, will you stay with her? Zevran, you come with me."

After half an hour, I cracked. "Maybe we should have gone in…it's boring."

Before my Qunari friend could say anything, they came out…looking like someone had just fucked with their head. Boring is okay for me. I don't need any more of problems with my head.

Zev and I guided everyone back to the start of the temple, and the Brother was waiting for us.

"It's real…we need to tell everyone. The Divine must be told first," and then he went on and on and I started to think. After all the shit we went through with fanatics, I don't think anyone should be coming here. So, to prevent mass-panic and more fanatics, I took one of my trusty daggers and threw it at the back of his head.

"Good shot, but why did you kill the harmless Chantry fellow?" my Master curiously asked me.

"I hate fanatics," was my only reply before I stepped over the dead man's body, lighted it on fire, and walked down the mountain.

~Wolf and Raven~

I stayed at camp when they took the ashes back to the old man to heal him. It wasn't because I was ashamed of using blood magic or that I felt guilty for what I did, I just didn't feel like listening to Alistair.

When they came back, they said we were to call the Landsmeet and what I heard after that was that we would fuck up people. Fun.

What actually happened was we spent a week gathering support from the Nobles and rescued to Queen of Ferelden—who was only Queen because her dad was a badass and she married into. Her husband had died at Ostagar, and she was until on the throne.

When Morrigan and I heard of the plan to put Alistair on the throne…we keep our faces and veins filled with ice until we left the room and couldn't control ourselves.

"This country is doomed," was all we said before we had to go off and save someone who later turned on us. I couldn't wait till we killed her.

But before she turned on us, we had to go save her. And in the process, I got to kill Howe. I had never taken more pleasure in killing someone before. Maybe that bastard Magister that thought he could use me for his ritual.

~Wolf and Moon~

After the battle with the Archdemon, I was seriously surprised that my cousin was going to be Queen. Wasn't she in love with Zevran? And then Morrigan was gone.

There was shit going on that no one was telling me about. I was kind of upset, but I didn't say anything. I held my tongue. I didn't say anything when he ignored me more and more for her. It was how these things worked. If you weren't sexual involved with someone, they left you for someone who was.

I was okay with it, though. The Blight was over, and I would soon be with my family—as soon as he could separate himself and take me. While Elissa could be understanding about my situation, there were times, when it interfered with what she wanted, that she grew a tad bit angry.

Like how I wanted to go to Kirkwall to find Carver, and she didn't want to go but wouldn't let Zev go. That was how for three more months I was stranded with her in a place I never wanted to return: Amarantine. Not after with happened with….

Sigh.

~Wolf and Raven~

"So, I survived being a Warden and so did you. And you're a mage…or half mage, whatever you want to call it. How about we—" Anders started before I cut him off.

"Do you see that rogue with the two shiny daggers on his back?" I pointed for good measure. "You saw what he did last night, right? He's really good with those." When Anders swallowed, I felt some pleasure in his suffering. "He is overprotective of me. Last time someone flirted with me, that wasn't him, he cut their hands off. Or a hand. I can't remember; there was a lot of blood."

Anders looked torn between him and me before he sighed. "Can I least be friends with you?"

I blinked, shocked at what he asked me. I…did really have friends? Did Cullen even count now that he didn't want to speak to me? "Why not?"

Elissa called me over and asked me to go check on the prisoner. "I've got to see about making this place more fortified. Whatever you think should be done is okay. Take Zev with you, I'm tired of him whining about the Warden thing. It's not like you're a full Warden anyway."

I nodded and headed to the little jail area. When I went inside and saw who was there, my heart stopped. I told the Guard and Zev to leave.

Zev saw who it was, and he knew I needed to do this alone. When he left, I knew he trusted me with the prisoner to the point that if need be, he would be my Arvaarad. We both knew that the man behind the bars had no problem hurting me.

The man didn't even look up as I walked in before he started speaking, but judging from his words I could tell he saw my shadow. "So you're the hero of the Blight. I thought you'd be ten feet tall with Lightning shooting out of your eyes. Somehow I expected my father's murder to be more impressive than a small girl not even of average height. I am Nathanial Howe, and my family owned these lands before you murdered my father and took them. Do you even remember my father?"

So I was barely over five foot tall, big deal. I chuckled darkly from my spot against the shadowed wall. "I imagine the Darkspawn think so, alas I am not the Hero of the Blight, but I am the one who murdered your father. It's tough remembering _everyone _I've killed, but he holds a special place in the heart of my cousin and I. Elissa beat the shit out of him, and I delivered the final blow. She did get a little angry with me since I killed him, but watching him bleed out and hearing his pitiful rants of how he deserved Highever and everything else he gained through betrayal. I think he said something along the lines of "I deserved it all.'"

As his mind began to connect the dots, I moved out of the shadows. Nathanial could not control his thoughts. I saw the horror cross his face along with something I didn't want to name.

"I can't tell. Is it seeing me and knowing what I've done, along with Elissa of course, is so horrifying or is it the thought that your father may have deserved his fate a few times over?" I questioned with a humorous tone in my voice.

I'm a bitch, I know, but he had hurt me so much…I had loved Nathanial and was willing to be a housewife for him. I would have quit being a Crow, an assassin; I'd have abandoned my family and my Master all for him. And when he overheard me one night, he ran like a little bitch.

"Mora," he whispered as he got up and tried to become one with his bars on his cell. "What…I don't understand…"

I sighed as I went to the table near the cell and sat on it. "What part? The part where he invaded, murdered, and took over Highever when there was a call for arms at Ostagar to stop the Blight? Or the part where he hired assassins not only to kill the remaining Couslands but also to kill all Grey Wardens left alive. Or maybe the part where Elissa and I took our blood-vengeance for the pain and blood he has split in our family?"

Nate seemed to lose his strength, rage, and hate the more I spoke. I could see the confliction in his eyes; he knew I would never lie to him, but to hear how far his father had fallen? It must be tearing him in two. I remember how he worshiped his father, even though the man was a bastard. Howe had changed, and Nate was always blind to it. Maybe this pain was enough to let him feel what I felt.

"Elissa is the Warden who defeated the Archdemon. She is now Commander of the Grey and Arlsa of Amarantine. Since this Keep needs to be repaired to stay standing, she has given me the authority, as her second in command, to deal with the prisoner that, from what we heard, a few good men died to protect during the attack." My voice was clearly iced, professional, and clinical. I tried not to take too much pleasure when I saw him wince.

I decided to take pity on him because just seeing him here…was hurting more than I'd like to admit. "Why did you come back, Nat…Nathaniel?"

The dark haired man swallowed hard as he gripped the bars tighter. "I…it's been over a year since I've received any news. Then there was the Blight. I had come to see who was left alive, what damage was done. But when I came and heard…I decided to come kill yo—the Warden, the one they call the Hero of Ferelden. Yet when I got here, I just wanted to have something of my family." Nathaniel paused as struggled with a way to say what he wanted. "I'm glad you're okay. I was worried especially when the letters stopped mentioning you. Mother said even when your family came around with the Couslands, you were never with them—though they had only been by once or twice."

My eyes had to have shown my confusion. "Why do you care? You _left_. When I came back a few days later and you were gone—Elissa said she saw you, so I know you overheard Zev and I—I was so thankful my Master had interrupted us and we didn't…" I couldn't even say it.

"You thought I left because of you?" Nathaniel's voice carried his disbelief. "I left _for _you. You had agreed to marry me, and as the Howe heir, you would have been left to be a housewife. After I overheard the two of you, I realized why you were so different from other girls. That is why I knew you wouldn't have liked it as a housewife, that it would kill you. I also knew," his voice lowered, "that I couldn't understand you. You were an assassin, how much had you gone through in only sixteen years? But whatever it was, I could not match it, I couldn't understand you. So I asked father to send me to the Free Marches as an apprentice so I could come back with knowledge to match you or at least compare. I didn't leave because I was disgusted. I left because I loved you and I wanted to be someone you wouldn't regret being tied to."

I couldn't even look at him. Was this true? Had I been wrong all this time? What was I supposed to do or even say to that? For years, I thought…but now it doesn't matter. In that moment, I felt as if all my years had caught up with me, and I was just so damn exhausted.

I hopped off the table and picked the lock. The idiot guard didn't give me the key. After I picked it, it was easy; I realized that that cell hadn't been used in a long time. I opened the door and started to walk toward the exit. My hand was on the door when I said quietly that I almost thought he didn't hear me. "Just go."

My hand had barely turned the handle when he snorted at me. "And where would I go? I only came back to Ferelden a month ago. What would I do? Who would take me in? I have nothing. My name means nothing thanks to whatever went on with my father."

"The King would take you in," I suggested weakly.

"Yeah, I'm sure King Alistair the _husband_ of the woman my father tried to have killed on a least three separate occasions would give a Howe a second chance," was Nate's sarcastic reply. Ah, I've missed that.

"If I asked him, he would. Alistair is a friend."

"A friend?" Nathaniel's tone suggested he thought otherwise.

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse like…me not calling him adorable for a while. He used to beg me to not call him that," I smiled and gave a small giggle at that.

"A friend that's adorable? Does the Queen know?" the Howe bitterly asked.

I turned and really looked at him. He was right; he was a Howe, where would he go? The only places he could go to make a life for himself would be one where names don't matter, or at least, one where either his name didn't matter or they didn't know it. But what would happen when the people around him found out?

I had three choices: let him go, kill him, or conscript him. The one best for him would be one where he didn't have to hide.

I opened the door and saw the guard running to me with two following hot on his trail. "My lady, the Warden Commander is here to hear your judgment."

I moved aside and let the three through. Elissa made the guard stay outside. For both their credit, Elissa and Nathaniel didn't say anything as they stared the other down.

"What is your judgment, Warden Captain?" Elissa asked. I blinked at the title. It seemed she was going by how the Templars did their ranks. As she locked eyes with me, I knew she was going to go by whatever decision I made. But I could tell she was warning me not to let emotion rule me. Fool. All my decisions were made because of emotion.

I only hesitated for a second. "We're going to conscript him."

Neither of my childhood friends said a word, though I could practically feel his surprise and her approval. My Master just watched with a blank face taking it all in. They kept their silence all the way back to the throne room where Elissa repeated my judgment.

The old man we saved on the battlements appraised Nathaniel. I didn't really care to remember his title or his name. His job was to interact with Elissa not me. "So, I hear it took at least three Grey Wardens to capture you."

"My time abroad wasn't just spent chasing skirts and drinking wine. I am not without my skills."

"_Just_ chasing skirts," I repeated with snort and shook my head.

The Howe Heir (or former considering the name is no better than shit right now) groaned, and tried to pled with me. "A poor choice of words, I didn't mean "just." Mora, I—"

"No. She isn't Mora or Mortia. She is your Commander…when I'm not being your Commander. You are to be a Warden now." Elissa quickly interrupted. She remembered and knew me well enough to know that sparing him, let alone having him join the ranks, was going to hurt me deeply. I was to see the man who broke my heart every day. And now he says that he was fucking other girls just after he said he left not because of but for me, and that he still loved me.

I saw Anders' head snap back and forth between looking at me and the Howe. I could already see the wheels turning in his head. It was obvious that we knew each other and something had happened between us.

"Oohh, I can see it now. Such sexual tension in the room. Underling Warden helps Baby Warden Commander master her taint. Or does Underling Warden take control and not help Baby Warden Commander do the mastering but doing the mastering of her taint himself," the drunk dwarf chuckled. He just made my head spin.

"That's not fair! You said the elf wouldn't let anyone near you…I want to help master her taint," The blonde mage muttered the last bit. At least his brain could tell what the fuck the dwarf said because it took until my Mater replied to understand.

Said elf blinked for a second before going back to sharpening his daggers. "Does the mage or archer wish to help me test the sharpness of my blades, hmm? If not, I will be more than happy to help you master your taint. After all, my room isn't too far from either of yours nor is it far from here actually."

I took a deep breath. "Do you have to hit on everyone? Can't you keep it in your pants or at least keep your mouth shut, Master? Besides, what would your boyfriend think if you started jumping bed partners?"

Zev was too used to my scolding and just waved me aside, of course sometimes I find myself guilty of egging him on...like I was about to do. "You weren't saying that last night when you crawled into my bed. Ah, I remember how soft and warm your skin was when you laid next to me. Our bodies were so close. I must say, it was quite warm in the bed last night. Maybe being a Warden heats up your body. We should test it again to make sure."

I smirked. "You wish my skin was bare enough for you to get a feel of it."

"Alas, poor Zevran will die without getting a feel of that lovely, soft, delicate—"

"Enough! I don't want to hear you lamenting about the baby assassin's skin! Disgusting." Oghren spat.

Anders and Nate were so fucking confused I couldn't help but do soft coughing laughs. "You know, old man, it's your fault for bringing up me and sex near each other in the first place with him in earshot," I jerked my thumb at my Master, "besides, if you thought of me as a baby sister, you really shouldn't be putting my name anywhere near sex unless it's "She's a virgin.'"

"If you die a virgin, such a horrible crime, I will find a Necromancer to raise you from the dead, so as to correct it," Zev assured me. "Or if you decide at any time that you would prefer to lose it, I will put aside my feelings for you as a sister and take on the terrible burden."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, Master, like you would touch me even if I begged."

"Begging is fun and so are chains when the two are paired together," he responded. "Are you still taking notes? You should be able to write a book by now."

I continued on like he didn't interrupt me. "Besides, who said I'm a virgin? You _have_ left me alone with Cullen for more than enough time on quite a few occasions."

Zev dropped the dagger he was holding and narrowed his eyes at me. "If he touched you, he will find that abominations and mages are nothing compared to _this_ rogue."

Elissa cleared her throat. "Are you done egging them on? I'd like to make him do the ritual before we head out to Amarantine. There are supplies that the keep needs…"

~Wolf and Raven~

"So, are you really a virgin? You must be of age by now…you are of age, right?" Anders poked at me as we were on our way to the city nearby. We had waited a day because so Nathaniel could recover because, as Elissa saw it, he was more familiar with this place than we were—even if he hadn't been here for a few years.

As I considered his question, I saw a flash of my fingers digging into a head of silver hair as the body attached to it slammed into me with enough force for me to cry out, only for that to be cut off my a harsh kiss. I blinked and the image and everything with it was gone.

I peaked over at Anders, who was walking beside me, and saw Nathaniel out of the corner of my eye looking like he wasn't listening but he was. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it does! If you haven't, it is a crime as the elf said and I would be eager to help. As a Healer, I can say without a doubt it is healthy for adults to engage in such behavior. Physical benefits as well as emotional. If you have, then I must insist that you do any and everything to stay healthy. Either way, as a Healer, I have your best interests at heart and wish to help in any way I can," the blonde winked at me, and I saw his earring flash. Huh. I hadn't noticed it.

I just laughed and turned around in a circle, my arms twirling with me. "You are quite adorable, but alas I think I'd like you whole." I titled my head toward my Master would wasn't that far and was definitely in hearing range.

The elf whistled while he put his arms behind his head, not so subtly touches his daggers. "Ah, my dear Warden, is it not a good day for bloodshed?"

Elissa laughed and peaked at Anders who looked slightly scared. "It is always a good day for bloodshed, dear elf. Speaking of which," Anders went to hide behind me at that, "I think some fun is heading our way."

When she said that, I knew it was code. She had spotted something. I looked without making it known and stretched out my senses.

"What do you think, my lovely Raven?" Zev asked me.

I felt at least two mages and four other humans approaching us from the right. I laughed as I grabbed a knife from my left boot, twisted and threw it where it hit a mage about to attack as it peaked around a tree it was using for protection.

"I think the fun has only just begun."

~Wolf and Raven~

"You can't have both of them and not me as well!" I growled, tried of this conversation.

Elissa said it would be better to split up like we did before. It would make things faster. She'd take the Woods, thank the Maker (poor Zev if he followed her again, he hates forests), and the swamp area where the other Warden had gone missing. I was to finish up Amarantine as well as go into the Deep Roads. Even though I didn't like the Deep Roads, a part of me wished I had gone down with her in Orzammar…it sounded so much bloody fun.

But the problem here is that she wanted Zev and Nate. In the week it took to handle busy in Amarantine and get back to Vigil's Keep, I had come to terms with Nate and what happened, so much so that I told him about the whole being a mage and not being a mage thing. He had agreed to help me anyway he could, at first he thought it was to keep me calm and not let the magic overwhelm me, but I had asked him to be my makeshift Arvaarad.

This was one of those very few, rare, times that she got pissed at me for needing this.

"I don't see what the problem is! You don't even need a watcher, and neither does Anders. You don't see Anders asking for a Templar. It's been years since it happened to you, and I have seen you cast magic less than the number of fingers on one hand! Just take Oghren and do the tasks I assigned."

I glared at her. "Before you sent me with a whole freaking team and now you just send me one? What if something happens?" then I paused, laughed, and straightened. "And you don't give a fuck. We may be blood, but I guess certain _liquids_ are thicker than blood." I snarled at her, trying to keep my temper under control. I could feel my jealousy rise back up. I wasn't blind. Ever since we had first met Nathaniel, she had had her eye on him. The only reason she never pursued him was because of the fight she didn't want to be housewife. She may have been married to Alistair but that didn't stop her from fucking Zev. And her jealousy had reared during the Blight quite a few times when she saw that Alistair was having a good time with me or that Zev wanted to stay with me instead of going with her.

And now it was happening again. Did she really want to risk me dying just because she didn't want to keep her legs closed?

My Master walked straight up to me, grabbed my chin and jerked it up. "Da'len, _now_." Zev said it calmly and even with no change from his teasing and fun tone he usually spoke with but I could see his eyes. He knew. He knew what I was feeling. He knew that it would only be just a little more before I probably snapped.

I could handle death, torture, and murder quite well, but betrayal? _Never. _And that is what it was feeling like to me. She wanted to keep them to herself, and, on an off chance, she would rather have me die than give them up.

Was it my fault that I was possessive? I have had very little in my life and the few things I have had, I held onto like the world would end if it left my hands. I may not have done anything to that whore after she stole Ma'Lath, but that didn't mean—

My thoughts were cut off when my Master repeated himself.

Zev wasn't blind; he could see the buildup in my eyes and no doubt feel it. As I turned from him and walked off, I saw that Nathaniel and Ander's eyes were wide. I understood that Anders could feel it, he was a mage after all, but if the other rogue could feel my magic as well…that meant I was getting out of control. And now Master was going to beat it out of me. Or try to at any rate.

~Wolf and Raven~

So I decided that maybe asking for Anders instead of Nate might have been the better option, especially when we went into the Deep Roads. My blades didn't do much against the golem. Now they did wonderfully well against the chains that held a giant crate thing that squashed a bunch of broodmothers.

Well, I guess that was the Maker's way of making up to me for me not going into the Deep Roads before. Instead of one broodmother, I got to kill four of them. And a giant golem instead of a group of medium sized ones.

I ended up using a lot of Ice magic on it, but I think that was a good thing. Flemeth once told me that a mage shouldn't suppress their magic for a long period of time. She said something about the build up and possible explosion. Either way it felt good; one might imagine it felt like sex.

The memory flashes again…not quite like sex then, but somewhat close.

After finishing errands in that stupid city, we headed back to Vigil's Keep, and my cousin hadn't returned. So I end up initiating the dwarf girl, one that Oghren cannot stop flirting with, and then we head down into the crypts below the keep to waste time…and keep the Darkspawn out. Apparently, there were Deep Roads tunnels beneath the keep. We sealed those up, but first, to get down there, we had to desecrate some Howe tombs.

That was not partially fun, at least with a Howe present. Although he understood.

"Keeping the keep safe is more important that a few dead bodies."

Either way, robbing the dead kind of took on a whole new meaning when they fought back. That was an awkward conversation with Nate. He said a few bodies didn't matter, that they wouldn't care—they were dead. No wonder his mother told him not to go down there and play in the Crypts.

~Wolf and Raven~

Elissa was having a really shitty day. She had been told Amarantine was under attack but she was afraid that it was a trap. And it was. It was a good thing she sent me to the city and stayed at the keep.

She did feel a little bad so she let me have Anders. I took him, Nate, and Oghren and we saved the city! For a little bit anyway. It'll probably destroy itself soon enough.

She stayed at the keep with my Master, the female dwarf—who was glad to be away from Oghren—a crazy Dalish mage, I wasn't sure if I liked her or not, and a Sprit that she should have let me send back to the Fade.

I had a nice little ritual floating in the back of my brain one that I was prepared to use, even if I didn't know where it came from, but I knew it would work. It was either that or destroy the body, but she wouldn't let me do either. When she said, the ritual disappeared from my brain to not return for like more than eight years. By then it was too late and, well, the world burned.

I warned her that it was a mistake to let a Spirit leave the Fade like this.

"There is an order that needs to be kept," I hissed at her. "Certain Spirits cannot handle this side, and they will be perverted! He will become a demon, mark my words. This kind of Spirit cannot handle this world, especially one of Justice. He will go insane because he can't really make a difference." I looked her straight in the eyes. "When this goes to hell, because it will, it will be your fault. Are you ready to shoulder the blame for whatever he does in the name of Justice?"

She shrugged me off, and said, "I'll keep an eye on him. He'll be fine. We need him right now. Besides, if we wait a bit nature will fix the problem for us."

Nature was going to but people are fuck ups.

We got back to Vigil's Keep before dawn broke out and Elissa was relieved to find us safe and okay.

"Apparently, the "Father" has sent us an invitation." Elissa greeted me as we came into the walls. Bodies were everywhere. As we passed, I light them on fire. I still had enough magic left to make sure nothing else happened—like the Blight spreading.

I nodded. "We will be going underground I take it. If we are fighting more Darkspawn, Oghren would be handy as well as Nate. You never know when you need an Archer."

Elissa raised an eyebrow. "You can shoot."

"This is why I will be taking a bow as well as my daggers."

"What about a mage? What if we need healing? Anders would be best—"

"Anders needs to rest, and probably tend to the wounded here," I cut her off. "You know this is the better choice. If you want a mage, then take the crazy elf lady."

Crazy elf lady started cursing at me, and I responded right back. In her own language of course. That shut her right up. When she got her wind back, she started insulting me saying I was destroying her race by daring to speak their tongue. She seemed to blame me for everything bad that had happened to the Dalish. Then she ended with telling me she hopes that the "Dread Wolf take you!"

I smirked showing my teeth. "I welcome him, I do so like wolves."

The silver-head lover flashed through my mind again. I wonder if he was wolf-like and that's what reminded me of Fen'Harel.

Elissa rolled her eyes. "We should be good with two assassins. And if we need a mage, you have magic. One less person means we travel faster."

She may not have said it, but mages were shit when it came to running. First off, those robes were a problem. Second, they had little in the way of physical stamina.

So we run off and clean house when it came to the talking Darkspawn that were running around.

Really, the Maker must be rewarding me for missing ancient ruins, broodmothers, and such.

When we came back, I thought Anders was acting funny, but I didn't say anything. We were too focused on cleaning up. A week later another Grey Warden came, two of them really. One was going to take over here and the other was collecting for a team he was going to take to the Free Marches. Elissa went back to her King, and she expected Zev to drop me on in Kirkwall, which a letter finally got through but it took forever because Alistair was an asshole and forgot to send it, to finally be with my family again.

When I told Anders goodbye, I gave him a hug and told him to take care of Sir Pounce-A-Lot. That cat was badass. If I repeated what earned him that name, no one would believe me.

I gave Nate a kiss and told him maybe if we had more time together, I could have come to terms with a few things.

He chuckled. "I waited years for you. I think I can wait a couple more. Besides, who knows if I'll be transferred to the Free Marches. I know the area well. We will see each other again, I promise."

Then he kissed me for real, not a peck like I gave him.

Strong but lean arms pulled me away. "Say goodbye with words not tongue, have I taught you nothing? I'm going to pretend I didn't see that. Goodbye Raven's girlfriend."

Nate and I just shared a smile and laugh as I was dragged away.

~Wolf and Raven~

I ran through the streets as my Master took the roofs. He was better at being stealthy on roofs than I was. Although I was pretty good, just not as good as him.

For some odd reason, we were being chased by some stupid bounty hunters. Although, I wasn't sure who sent them.

After a few quick turns I ended up in a narrow alley. As I sped down it, I thought I hit something, but it was so dark I couldn't see anything, at least in that spot. I twisted and backed up, but was distracted with noise from behind me that signaled that the hunters had found me.

With a second though or passing moment, I killed every one of them except their leader. I left him alive so he could tell me what the fuck was going on.

"Who is hunting me?" I asked as my heel dug into his throat. He was leaning up against the narrow alley wall in front of me, and with the angle I had tilted my body so I could have my foot on his throat, I was almost touching the wall behind me.

"The Archon. He has been searching for you for like four years. Apparently you killed some Magister and have enough of a family history in Tevinter that he has named you the inheritor to the dead Magister. But you weren't the only one I was hunting tonight. I know of you and your partner's reputation. Join me and I will give you half of the bounty on this runaway slave. I have no doubt that if you catch this slave and return him to his Master, and then you will have a great Magister ally."

I heard a shift to my right and almost a growl…that was where I bumped into something. Was it the wall or was it a person? It didn't really matter as long as, if it was a person, if they stayed over there and left me alone.

My Master jumped down. "So…I kill a Crow and get nothing, you kill a Magister and get an inheritance. I don't know if I'm jealous or not."

I rolled my eyes at him, though I know he can barely see it.

"Please," the hunter said. "Magister Danarius will be a great ally, and I will offer my services wherever I can. I won't' take any of the bounty. Please—" I cut them hunter off by using my foot to snap his neck.

"I didn't teach you that," Zev commented as he knelt down to rob the four dead bodies I had just killed.

"Sten did. Although this is the first time I've been able to do it. His foot…leg is so much stronger than mine." I replied as I leaned against the wall behind me. "Fuck, the Archon wants me? Shit, why does my life have to be complicated?"

Zev chuckled as he straightened up. "Honestly? You shouldn't offend the man. I happen to like certain parts of the Imperium—"

"The whore-houses," I inserted with a smile.

"-and would prefer not to be barred from them because you can't be polite to someone." Master continued as if I hadn't interrupted him.

I sighed. "I guess I can write a letter to the bastard, and not call him that of course in the letter, but tell him I am a little busy and will come claim that shit later." I paused for a second. "Is it legal to free slaves over there? And make them servants? Maybe we should stop over there and claim it before someone takes over the house and uses them all for blood magic."

Zev groaned. "Not everyone uses blood magic. I know a few Magisters that don't."

"And let me guess. You had a contract, did it, fucked them, and somehow found out their preference on blood magic."

"It's a gift, what can I say?"

"Seriously, though, I don't want to go over there. Next city we get to I will write the man a letter—"

"Do you know how to write?" cheeky bastard.

"—and tell him to give me a year, I don't know. Till then, do you know anyone or trust anyone to watch over the estate?"

I saw him nod. "Tomorrow then. Now that we've solved the hunter problem, we can go to an inn, and I can write the letter. Not too much longer till we get to Kirkwall."

Before we left, he asked me a serious question. "Do you remember the name the hunter said was hunting for a slave?"

I paused. "I heard it before…wasn't it from that Magister who ritualed me? I know it isn't a word, but I didn't want to say he used a blood magic ritual on me. I have a funny feeling this Magister is on my shit list. Can I kill him if I see him, Master? Maybe there's a contract on him we could collect. Don't Magisters try and kill each other all the time?"

Zev laughed. "That's my girl. I'd figure out the laws of the Imperium first. What good will you be to those slaves or the gold if you lose it because you killed him unlawfully?"

I giggled. "You never change Master. You just want coin to go to a Tevinter whore house. I'll find a way to kill that bastard, even if I lose that estate."

~Wolf and Raven~


	3. DA:II Part 1 (Act 1)

**MOON SAYS**: Did I expect this to be this long? Well, I did but at the same time I didn't expect to get nowhere in the First Act by 20 pages. But I guess since Fenris and Sebastian are kind of key characters here, they should get a lot of time. This will not be in order, is there any order to DA but what you make it? I tried to rush through DA:O since it wasn't really important; it was just setting up the stage for the big parts; DAII/DA:I. I won't be going into a shit ton of detail for the whole game. Just like with what I did for DA:O, Hawke/FHawke will be splitting quests and stuff up. My FHawke will be half of the Champion of Kirkwall. First she was a side-kick, then a half-leader, and…spoiler. Again, this chapter includes parts where Mora has some weird breakdowns, but bear with me: it's important. Remember, this woman almost has a split personality. I'm trying to get to the point where she becomes _her_ and is the duality, just like she is supposed to be.

**CHALLENGE**: Same as before.

**WORDS**: 9, 492

**PAGES**: 21

**POSTED**: 21 Feb 2015

**EDITED: **24 Feb 2015

**The Wolf and the Raven**

**~Chapter 3: DA II Part 1 (Act 1)~**

It was almost midnight when we hit Kirkwall. As we snuck in, we first came to the Chantry, and some part of me just _had _to go in. My Master followed me in without a word. As soon as I came in, I smelled something that I had not smelled in so long. The old memories were rising up in me, telling me to go deeper. I stuck to the shadows and snuck deeper in these hallow halls.

It wasn't the first time I had been in a Chantry, and I knew it wasn't going to be the last.

There was something deep in here, something I _sensed_ that had me on edge. I was in the basement before something happened. A hand quickly grabbed at me causing me to duck and twist away.

But it wasn't enough; the body attached to the hand was quick to press toward me; I had no time to grab my daggers. Briefly, I wondered if Master would step in but I was too focused on playing keep away. I was doing everything I could not to be caught in the dark no less.

"I'm getting bored, da'len," I heard his voice soft and whisper-like.

I chuckled only to make a misstep and found myself being shoved to the ground with a very heavy body on top of mine. I felt breath on me, breathing hard—this must be from trying to catch me. Heh, so I've been caught.

But the breath…it was the smell I came here for. And if I wasn't mistaken, there was a sense of the Fade around us.

"What are you doing so deep in the Chantry?" a deep voice questioned me; the accent was something I had heard recently when my Master and I cut through Starkhaven.

"Hmm…such a sexy voice. I think I envy you, pet, to be under one such as him."

I tossed my head back, it hit the floor beneath me, and I groaned. "Why do I take you anywhere? You are such a manwhore, Master. Now shut up." I locked eyes with the man pining me to the floor.

As I took him in, my Master lit up the room, and I could clearly see the man who bested me in the dark. Of course he did; he as stronger than I, but there was something more about him. His blue eyes were so familiar, and they pulled me in.

"What did you ask?" I replied because I couldn't remember. The way he felt and smelled seemed so familiar. A flash of memory overtook me, a red-headed man with a bow yelled for me, but when I turned to look at him, I knew it was too late; he threw his weapon down and slammed me to the ground, but he had been hit by whatever it was going for me.

I blinked, and I could swear from the look in his eyes that he took saw such a memory. But who am I fooling? I don't even know what those memories are…maybe they are just results of that damn ritual. But a part of me knew it wasn't for I had them before. It was only after that they grew worse.

My Master couldn't help but tease me. "I never thought you'd be the one so distracted by beauty, my dear."

The man on top of me blushed and quickly got off of me. I held back the sigh…it was nice, I think, his body on mine. Maybe all the sex my Master had and spoke about was getting to me. Should I have slept with Nate when I had the chance?

"Forgive me, my lady, I—" he started before I cut him off by standing myself.

"It's fine," I waved him. "If someone had invaded my home, I wouldn't have tried to catch and question them—they'd be dead."

His blue eyes narrowed. "To kill so easily…" I watched him looked me up and down, "an assassin then. Are you here for a contract?" the way he said had me on edge…did he think I was sent here to kill him?

My Master was down by myself as soon as the other man identified my profession. It seemed it was only now that the elf thought the Chantry boy in front of me was a threat. But I knew he wasn't.

I titled my head. How did he know what I was? I dressed like most other rogues, so how? Was someone after him that he assumed I was an assassin? After a few seconds I sighed. "Actually, I'm here to find family, but I was sidetracked," I confessed as I closed my eyes and tried to get a feel of the man in front of me.

Something was blocking me now; the smell and feel of the Fade that I felt when I came near the Chantry was gone. I let the breath I didn't know I was holding out and opened my eyes.

The way he looked at me, calculating, told me he wasn't as innocent as most believe the workers of the Chantry are. Maybe before he threw away his life he was something else?

_Something like me?_

Apparently, the man in front of me found what he was looking for and relaxed. So, he wasn't going to try and attack me again, yay.

"Maybe I can help then, what are their names? Do you know where they live?" he asked softly and kindly.

I wasn't stupid. I knew a part of him wanted me gone as he saw me as a threat, which must have been the rogue inside of him. The Chantry Brother, on the other hand, wanted to help. And maybe it was the former, but I also knew this ex-rogue (can one be an ex-rogue?) was curious about me, and he wasn't going to let me go so easily.

I licked my lips at the thought, thank the Maker my Master was directly behind me and couldn't see. I saw the red-head in front of me eye's focus on the action and then went back to my eyes. Well…maybe this wasn't one-sided after all.

"That's the thing; I don't know where they live. The idiot didn't bother to tell me," I huffed, a bit upset that my brother didn't even think about telling me where he lived when he sent the letter.

The Starkhaven native just chuckled at me, his eyes lighting up…damn…was I in so much trouble. If this is what Master saw in a lot of people, no wonder he was a sex addict.

"He did say that they were living with my uncle Gamlen, but," I paused thinking about the woman who bore this body, "my…mother, "I said hesitantly, as really, I never considered her such, "would be an avid Chantry attended. Her name is—"

"Leandra," the hot ex-rogue in front of me supplied.

I titled my head so I could look at my Master, "is that her name? I can never remember."

My Master wrapped his arms around me and hugged me, and I saw the red-head narrow his eyes at the action. "You are just too much for me sometimes, my dear. Yes, that is her name. Now where would she be staying, do you know?"

I knew Zev wasn't talking to me so I kept quiet.

When the ex-rogue replied, his voice wasn't as it as when he was speaking to me. Instead, it was neutral, as if he didn't trust his emotions when speaking with the elf behind me.

"I heard they live in Lowtown, probably near the Alienage. I remember Leandra speaking one morning about things they could do to help the elves there. Be careful," he added as an afterthought. "There are, unfortunately, gangs running around the different parts of the city. But, as an assassin, I doubt you would need to worry." This part had a cheeky undertone to it.

I smiled at him and he returned it. "I'm sorry that I barged in like this. Honestly…I'm not sure what came over me—"

"I say it was red-headed, delicious—"

I elbowed my Master and continued on, "but I'm glad. I think I'll be coming back soon."

"Try not to come this _deep_ into the Chantry next time. Someone has been stealing from the Chantry stores," he grinned; I could detect a hint of teasing in him. "Maybe next time, I won't try and _catch_ the person. I don't think I'll let them go next time, either."

My eyes went wide. "Do you need help," I asked, wanting to spend more time with him, and I took his words as he was going to get more serious about this thief. "Since you've joined the Chantry, your skills have gotten a bit dull."

I could feel Zev tensing behind me with laughter, but he was holding it in. Bastard…what did I not get?

The ex-rogue raised an eyebrow. "Who caught you?"

I brushed off his words with a wave of my hand. "I wasn't paying attention. If someone is coming in here to steal, especially from a Chantry of all places, than they mean business and will probably be armed and _alert._ Besides, if you had such trouble catching me and I wasn't paying attention, do you really think you're going to catch a thief?" I inquired and pointed out things he probably forgot about in his desire to do something good.

I heard my Master groan behind me. "Sometimes I forget just how innocent you are. For an assassin, you really are naïve, my dear. "

I twisted out of his hold to the left, had both of them in my sights before I stomped my foot on the ground. "What am I missing from this conversation, Serrah Too-Smart-To-Share-With-Idiots?"

The red-head tried to hold back his laughter but he couldn't.

"She's something else, isn't she?" Zev chuckled along.

I growled, turned around and left them standing there. "Assholes."

I was out of the Chantry with my Master on my heels, back on the roofs, and did a few rooftop hops before Zev spoke to me. "You do understand that he was flirting with you, yes?"

I snorted. "Chantry Brother, _hello;_ besides, if he was flirting I would know. After all," I smirked at him, "you've taught me so well."

Zev just cough-laughed at me and continued on, dropping what had just happened. Idiots.

After a quick look of the city, we figured out where Lowtown was and when we got to that part of town, it was easy to spot the Alienage. After all, where else would there be a giant fucking tree?

As we got there, I held up a hand to my Master. I cocked an ear. There was fighting going on below us in the building and I could hear my brother cursing about a trap. I smiled at my Master, "Carver is underneath us, so if you want to go, you—"

I cut myself off when is saw a group of mercenaries gather across the Alienage.

"Braska," Zev muttered.

"Fun," I countered.

I was down in the streets, and they didn't even see me. Out of the eight that were in the Alienage, I had killed four before they even knew I was there—when the first body dropped. I had slit two throats, and I stabbed the other two through their hearts from their back.

Those were the warriors. I went after the two rogues next. They were startled but weren't ready to attack because I caught them all off guard. The archer got a dagger completely through his neck, and the one rogue like me got both my daggers through his head. I always liked stabbing the head for some reason.

My blades glowed blue as I sliced the one mage that wasn't in deep concentration. He froze, giving me time to slit the throat of the one that wasn't even paying attention to what was going on around him nor was his smart enough to cast a barrier before trying to summon magic that was going to take a few minutes or seconds to gather enough focus or magic. It felt like he was trying to summon a glyph—a trap for those still in the hovel.

Just as my brother came out of the house, two things happened: my Master left, and I slammed my two blades from behind and into the mage I froze—and if they are frozen, they can't use magic. Unless they are quite powerful, but obviously, this one wasn't.

The mage exploded and when the dust cleared, my brother was in my face swinging me around, and I was happy for the first time in so long.

"Put her down Carver, we're still on a job," a deep voice I longed to forget spoke. "You can play with her afterward, but right now, I want to know why the dwarf set us up."

As my little brother, my little bird-twin set me down; I looked at him with questions in my eyes. "Just come along, pet," he said quietly, "I'll explain later. It's good to see you."

I shake the blood off my daggers and shove them in the sheathes that hang horizontal above my ass. Carver then grabbed my hand and dragged me to the others. "I missed you, love," I squeezed his hand. My eyes went to the man with short black hair with eyes that matched my green.

"Holy shit, she looks just like you Hawke, except her hair isn't just black but red too," an astonished voice observed, and I traced it back to a dwarf…with a crossbow. Very interesting as I have never seen an archer dwarf before. They were usually all warriors, most wielding two handed swords, but occasioning, I would see a rogue with a preference for daggers.

Before anyone could say anything, I let go of Carver's hand and pulled my blades out in a reverse-grip I like to use. "We have company on the steps." My brother, Carver, and a red-head woman took to the area between us and the stairs, walking toward it quickly but not running. The rogue-dwarf and I quietly walked behind them, using their bigger bodies to hide us.

A man in armor came down the steps. "I don't know who you are friend, but you made a serious mistake coming here." He paused a second to let his words get across, but he was not intimidating either of my brothers. "Lieutenant—"

I muttered, "_left-tenant._" The dwarf beside me snickered, "Idiots, the lot of them, right?"

"—I want everyone into the clearing now!"

Nothing happened for a second before a bleeding man struggled down the first set of steps before he fell down the rest and died.

A deep voice spoke, but I couldn't see the body thanks to the three blocking me; it seemed as soon as they heard his very sexy voice, one that seems familiar or maybe it's his aura, the warriors closed in around us rogues.

"Your men are dead. Your trap has failed. I suggest you run back to your Master while you can." I could hear the man and see his shadow moving around the idiot that threatened us. The newcomer seemed to stop somewhat in between our group and the idiot.

More movement and then, "You're going nowhere, slave!"

At that moment, I gasped and gave a strangled cry as Carver quickly turned to me wide-eyed and knelt down next to me.

The woman and…Hawke closed in around us not bothering to even see what had happened to me as, like the warriors they were, designed to the protection of mages and rogues in the group.

I couldn't concentrate as whatever the not-slave did just stole my breath. I tried to catch my breath, breathing hard, and I tried to control what I was feeling. I was overwhelmed by the sudden burst of the Fade and, fuck, overwhelming Lyrium. Ever since the ritual, I had been extremely sensitive to magic, the Fade, and, Maker help me, Lyrium.

After information passed between them, from what I was told later, the not-slave asked for help. The woman was glad to be replaced with the not-slave on whatever was going on, but she didn't move because I was still on the ground. Hawke was hesitant as he didn't want to reveal me behind him weakened, but he didn't want to go with the man who seemed to knock me down without touching me.

Carver, though, couldn't keep his mouth shut. "What the hell did you do to her?"

"What?" the sexy voice said as he tried comprehended the question without any other knowledge than the confusing question. That was when the two warriors moved and he saw me with my head between my legs trying to breath and Carver kneeling next to me, holding me.

"She can't breathe! Ever since you shoved your hand through that guy's chest." Carver growled. "What did you do to her?" 

As I lifted my head, slowly, I saw him. He was an elf with…silver hair. Another flash of memory but it was gone before I could even see it.

The elf didn't know what to say, but his eyes did widened when my own flashed red and black, but I blinked the change in color, the memories, away.

"I don't understand…it's never happened before," he murmured as he truly looked at me, trying to see what was going on.

I shakily tried to stand.

"She's…extremely sensitive to magic," Hawke suggested as the cause to the problem.

The elf restrained himself but I could see the disgust at the thought of magic. "I have no magic, but…these markings were caused by them," he seemed to consider that as he looked at me.

I caught my breath and told him what I thought. I bitterly laughed at the situation, though I didn't understand why I was laughing. Maybe it had to do with the fact he didn't like magic? "Those markings…are connected to the Fade and Lyrium. I haven't sensed something like this since…"

I lowered my eyes and refused to think about it. A second later, I had a hold of myself. I walked toward him, but Carver pulled me back. "What if going near him causes you to collapse again?" he angry hissed.

I shook my head. "If he does it again, I will be prepared. I wasn't, and it caught me off guard." I snorted. "That's the second time tonight."

"What happened the first time," the dwarf wondered.

"Oh nothing, except I got caught and pinned to the floor by a Chantry Brother while sneaking into the depths of the Chantry." I said as if what happened wasn't anything of note.

The dwarf laughed, "You really must be Hawke's sister."

I turned my gaze to the elf. "What's your name? I can't keep calling you elf in my head."

His green eyes widened as if I surprised him. He was a slave, so he wouldn't be used to someone asking for his name.

"He already said it, sister, but you were too busy trying to pass out." Carver snorted. "It's Fenris."

Something jolted in me as I whispered, "Fenris?"

Fenris nodded, and I knew he wasn't the only one.

Hawke looked at me critically, "Are you okay enough to join us tonight? I can send Carver home with you. I have no doubt you've been traveling nonstop for weeks just to get to Kirkwall from Amarantine."

Carver stiffened. "What the fuck were you doing there?"

I huffed. "Stop being a baby, I was with…our cousin. She tried to leave Amarantine to me but I denied it. Idiot thought I'd stay if I was the Arlsa." I narrowed my own eyes at him. "Who sent you a letter saying I was coming and from where?"

"Someone who signed it, "Tell her I'm not adorable!"

I couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh. "That right there is adorable."

"Do you even know what adorable means, sister?" Carver grumbled as he no doubt thought it was a man.

I shook him off and approached Fenris. "If you would have me," fuck did that not have me tingling and Carver freaking out, "I want to help with…whatever it is you need help with."

Fenris looked bewildered at my lack of knowledge. "Did you lose oxygen to your brain when you collapsed? I heard that if your brain goes without oxygen that you start to lose function of it," as soon as he said it he looked horrified.

I raised an eyebrow, "you're going to be fun. Where are we going?"

Fenris just shook his head and turned to go up the steps, but I saw a hint of a smile.

"Hightown, girly," the dwarf answered as the four of us headed up the steps after Fenris.

"When we were going overtop the roof, I didn't see anything really going on in the city. And here I was told that there were going to be gangs running around." I pouted,

"Sister, how long have you been so bloodthirsty?" Carver questioned as we made our way through the streets of Lowtown and into Hightown.

"Have you meet Zevran?" Hawke snorted. "He's her mentor; _of course_ she's going to turn out like him."

"That means you're going to be a manwhore too?" Carver countered.

Fenris and the dwarf stopped walking at that.

If I keep meeting people like Fenris and the Chantry Brother, then maybe I would. I looked my brother dead in the eyes and answered, "Zev is under the impression that I'm a virgin."

"Of course you are," Carver sputtered. "That is one thing that blasted elf is good for! Despite him corrupting your mind with sex," my brother mumbled the last part.

"The manwhore protecting the chastity of his beloved student. I sense a story going on here," the dwarf said before a look from Hawke shut him down.

I ignored them all and took my place beside Fenris at the head and started walking. He shot curious glances at me as we walked on before he decided to say: "You are a strange one."

I giggled. "I think the best people are the strange ones, myself. Like you for instance: a mysterious elf wanting to vandalize a mansion in Hightown."

Fenris, I could tell, didn't know whether to laugh or sigh. "I'm going to this mansion to see if my former Master is there and kill him if he is."

I nodded. "That sounds like a plan. Are you going to being using those marks? They glow…you become all sparkly or is it shiny? Ohhh, it doesn't matter. Can I have you?" before he could comment I turned to Carver, and while walking backwards I asked him. "Can I have Fenris? He will make a wonderful friend, and I don't have many…any friends. My last friend decided to ignore me when I refused to have all the mages that were in the tower murdered. The other one got all huffy because of magic too. Please," I begged.

Carver tried to control himself. "You don't even know him, and besides, if he wants to be your friend I can't stop him," he glared at the elf for the last bit.

I turned to Fenris and gave him my puppy dog eyes. Alistair could never say no to them, neither could my Master, Anders, or Nate. Only Elissa could stand up to them and that was only half the time.

"What do you want, exactly? To "have" me or be friends with me?" the elf questioned as we neared the mansion he wanted to ransack. I could tell that it was only his confusion that kept his anger at the thought of someone "having" him—translated from slave thought: owning.

Oh, I didn't want to shiny elf to be upset. "Oh I don't want a slave or anything like that, but if you do want me to own you, that only comes after I belong to you." Carver would have screamed if Hawke didn't cover his mouth. "No, I just want to be friends. You are shiny and…" I paused as I thought of why I wanted to be his friend. "You have silver-hair, and I like the sound of your voice, but you also seem fun. And—"

Fenris cut me off. "If you quiet and let us go in there, I'll be your friend." Then he turned to Carver and Hawke. "Is there anyone way to get her to stop talking?"

Hawke only smirked, "I don't think you know what you've done; she's _your _problem now."

Carver groaned. "Now she's going to go all possessive on you…damn it!" he growled as he realized something. In a few quick strokes he came to stand behind me, turned me till I was in facing him, and tugged my face to look him in the eyes.

"What happened to you?" he whispered. "Was that elf not taking care of you?"

I started shaking then as his words started to bring me down from my shiny-possessive-madness high. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Just calm down. I don't know what happened during the Blight, but whatever happened it…pushed you too far. That and whatever Fenris did accidently. You are not going in there to fight a Magister without calming down." Carver said as he looked into my eyes, they flashed again. "Focus on me, calmed down, what is your name?"

~The Wolf and the Raven~

Hawke's eyes narrowed. He had thought something was up with her, but for her to be pushed so far that she started slipping into the madness? What the fuck was that elf doing that allowed her to be so overwhelmed? Zevran was going to get cut into little pieces next time he saw him.

"Hawke wasn't going on with baby Hawke?" Varric asked softly as to not interrupt the other two siblings.

Hawke sighed and noticed that Fenris was paying attention to both groups. "When she was fifteen or sixteen, she...something happened to her that made her have what some Healers call Bi-Polar, spilt-personality, or was it PTSD? I can't remember, but we find that sometimes she can't handle what's going on around her or something triggers memories of what happened, and she snaps. She almost killed me once because I was…being an ass to Carver. Zev once told us that after one time with she was with some Qunari, she ended up taking out like three of their squads when they started poking out at her. Carver's really the only one that can calm her down and bring her back, besides her Master of course. We're lucky that this one wasn't violent just a hoarder type of attack. Although, we should be glad it didn't happen in the middle of battle."

~Wolf and Raven~ 

"Din'an?" I answered though I wasn't sure. I had always liked to collect shiny and sparkly stuff. My Guardians always indulged me, that is, until one got hurt when we were attacked. He had thrown himself on top of me and took the brunt of the blast. That was another time I let the darkness take over.

But this wasn't like the other times. Why was I Din'an? There was no death around us, no killing, no battles. So why was I babbling? Why was I lost?

"No, try again," a deep voice ordered me softly.

If I wasn't death, then who was I? Who was he? This hadn't happened when I was in Ferelden. Was the other wolf confusing me? Or was it the archer? The Fade had touched me twice, trying to bring me into the memories, to succumb to them, but I wasn't her anymore. I was—

"Raven."

Carver sighed. "Close enough. Your elf likes to call you that doesn't he? Although, I can't understand why. You are a Hawke or a Crow."

"A Crow? Shit, no wonder she was able to take out by herself all those mercenaries that tried to ambush when we came out of the hovel." The dwarf whistled.

I shook it all off, took a deep breath and turned to Fenris. "I'm sorry about this; ever since…what happened, I find myself lapsing in either memory or—"

"Death," Carver and Hawke inserted.

I bowed my head at him. "Forgive me, let's go inside now. We have a slaver to kill."

I went to the door, slightly turned it to see if it was unlocked, and it was.

"Brother," I said seriously, "this is a trap. If this Magister was really hiding out here…this door would be locked, and I would hear people inside of it. Those assholes can't leave their homes without half their households." I leaned my ear up against the door, "seriously, nothing going on inside."

I turned to Fenris. "Do you want to go through the front door? I have no doubt there is a back door or we can get to the roof and go in that way."

The elf and dwarf didn't know what to make of me. It was as if I had done a complete one eighty on my personality, but they took it in stride. Or at least it looked like it because both seemed to be able to control their emotions quite well.

"I do not fear death, but that does not mean we should be reckless." Fenris claimed, but then he looked to the mansion. "But I do not wish for him to leave, and if we scut around in the shadows, we give him that chance—if he hasn't already. There is a time when to stop running," Fenris said the last bit quieting and no doubt to himself.

"Front door, then," Hawke and I said at the same time.

Varric chuckled but didn't comment on us. "Since you are a Crow, girly, maybe you should sneak in and looked around. Go from the back to the front, that way if something is back there, we get a warning."

I froze. Varric meant for me to go by myself. Luckily for me, Carver and Hawke both stepped in. "She stays with us."

The dwarf only shrugged, but I could see Fenris' face, he wasn't stupid. He knew there was a reason they wouldn't leave me alone, and I wondered if he doubted it was me going insane. Fuck, it had been so long since I had a relapse like that. I could say the possessive and hording part had only ever come out once, but the death and mayhem? That a bit more. Zev kept me well in hand during the Blight, but I was slipping more and more. I tried to control myself, but sometimes it slipped out.

I had almost killed Elissa back in Amarantine, but Zevran snapped me out of it. Death fed the darkness, it kept it away. And during the Blight I didn't go a day without killing something, but on our way here? It took a month or so (I think), and the only thing I got to kill were those hunters in Starkhaven.

Speaking of Starkhaven, Fenris smelt familiar. Was he the one in the alleyway that I brushed against? I needed to focus so I tried tossed those questioning and curious thoughts out of my head.

As soon as we entered the house, the door closed behind us. "Like that isn't creepy at all," Varric mumbled while Fenris yelled to his Former Master, "Come out and face me!"

No one says anything because I know they can feel it. "Can you feel the magic here? The entire place is," I stopped and shivered.

Fenris appraised me, probably thinking a sensor is suspicious, amazing, or maybe even a secret mage.

"What do you feel, Mortia?" Hawke asked softly as he moved to stand in front of me.

"There are demons here," I told him softly, "not that many, but there are many other low level perverted spirits hidden here, probably Shades if I had to guess."

"So the coward set magic traps all around the place. It will not stop us." Fenris almost growled as he went toward the next room.

Just as he was about to step into the room I pulled him back. He froze, and I could tell from the way his body tensed that he did not like to be touched.

I let go immediately and quickly moved to disable the traps in the doorway.

"So not only magic traps but others as well," the dwarf commented.

"Thank you for the obvious Varric," Hawke said as he waited for me to step back so he could go first.

"Shit," I cursed a split second before at least four or five Shades appeared in the room. As soon as they appeared, the Runes on my blades lit up as I disappeared only to appear behind the unfortunate perverted low-level spirits (or were they demons? it was hard to tell if they were originally like this) and backstabbed two. The Fire of one dagger burnt the damn thing to ashes, and the Ice of the other dagger froze it. While I moved on to another one, my brother shield bashed the frozen one effectively shattering it.

I weaved in and out of the three warriors stabbing and slicing while they dealt the heavy blows. When all the Shades were dead my daggers resumed a standby phase as I looked over my brothers. Carver had gotten his arm scratched, but Hawke was fine. I went check Fenris out but he was already in the next room.

"Remind me when we leave here to put Runes on your swords, boys." I told them as we followed after Fenris.

From room to room, we repeated the same strategy; that is until a lower level Rage Demon appeared. Both my blades glowed blue as I used all my strength to stab it deep. I want the magic in my blades so sink deep in it. Shades were easy to kill, and they succumb to magic quicker than the specific demons, like Rage, Despair, Desire, etc.

I stabbed the shit out of it, my blades going out the other side, and as I pulled out, I ducked because Fenris was on a roll. The Rage Demon's head did not stand a chance.

After this fight, I stopped. There was only one room left and something didn't feel right.

"Do you sense something?" Fenris asked, his voice rough from the fight, but I could tell he didn't mean anything mean by it. I told myself this because it seemed as if he was abrasive by nature.

I didn't know how to word it. "There is something Sealed in the next room, but…I can barely sense it. Something's wrong…" I trailed off as went to the door to the main hall, picked the lock, and as the door opened, I disabled the trap in the doorway.

I walked in the room, my daggers in a reverse grip parallel to my arms. Nothing was here, so why did I feel as if it was?

"Is it another of the traps, one we just haven't triggered?" one of my brothers asked but I wasn't paying attention to either of them.

"Stay down here," I ordered softly as I went up the stairs. So focused on the door and what I sensed around it. It didn't feel like the Fade did when demons were summoned…

"Besides Shades being Sealed around here, the more powerful thing isn't really connected to the Fade…it isn't a demon," I told them as I climbed the stairs and went to the door. "Be ready, I'm about to triggered it!"

I picked the lock on the door, and as soon as it opened, I twisted around and launched myself at the fucker behind me. _Shit! Arcane Horror!_

That is why I couldn't place it; it was dead, not of the Fade.

I went to backstab it by squatting on the balcony ledge because there was no room to actually stand behind it, but the thing blasted me clean off to the other side of the room.

I heard Carver scream my name, but I couldn't move; I couldn't twist so I could land alright. The fucking magic was Lightning magic—it paralyzed me—and when my back hit the wall, I went down.

It was really horrible, I noticed, to be hit by Lighting magic. Now I know why Morrigan preferred it. I couldn't move for what felt like a lifetime. Carver had moved to defend me from the Shades that didn't seem to end. My head was in so much pain that it was hard for me to count them. Varric somehow got unnoticed by the Shades and moved to stand by me...

"Watch it Hawke, Fenris!" he called as he sent a hail of arrows out, but it didn't do much. The Arcane Horror was taking too much attention and the Shades were overrunning us all. And I was still paralyzed.

"How long does this shit affect someone?" Varric asked as he continued to shoot what bolts he had.

"I don't know; my sisters never used that kind of magic before. They mostly stuck to Ice." Carver responded as he created a whirlwind with his blade, but as his back turned and his blade out of the way, three Shades struck his vulnerable. I watched him cry out and fall just as the Arcane Horror had thrown Fenris down, and Hawke was caught in between the Horror and the rest of the Shades standing near, and maybe over, Fenris.

Seeing them overwhelmed and Carver fall…I saw the temple again. I saw flashes of what happened after _he_ came back and killed the Templars who hurt me. I saw _him_ fall over me as he used what was left of his life, of his inner-magic, to heal me.

I lost Fenrir. I would not lose anyone else to magic. Never again.

I reached deep inside of me to the place that was awakened by that bastard Magister. I coated myself and my allies with it. I used the Air around us to slice the Shades to pieces, and just for a second, it was hard to breathe. I used the Ice of my soul to freeze the Arcane Horror as I appeared behind it and shattered it with my daggers.

When it died, I leaned against the wall in between the two front cases of stairs. I hadn't used that much magic for…months. The last time I used magic was when I was fighting the Golem in the Deep Roads. But I hadn't used that much even then. Usually when I use magic, it was always something small and short.

Carver was down on the ground, and Hawke didn't know which sibling to go to.

Varric leaned over Carver and reported, "the boy's back is ripped…the scratches of the Shades are deep. He's losing blood."

Hawke swiftly went to me, picked me up, and carried me over to Carver. I didn't even look at Fenris as my eyes were only for Carver.

"Carver, love, can you hear me?" I spoke to him softly and lovingly.

He grunted, "I've had worse."

I tried to laugh but it came out all wrong. I laid my hands over his back and tried to heal him. "I've never really done this before. Someone tried to teach me, but I'm more for damage—"

"When you use it," Hawke inserted. "I never understand why you deny your magic."

I growled. "Because it isn't natural! I wasn't meant to have magic and you know that damn well. The only mages born in our family was father and Bethany. I…_we_ weren't born with magic, _brother_," I snapped. "This is a curse given to me because some Crow couldn't handle the success of me and my Master."

After I finished snapping at the man I wished wasn't my true-born twin, "that is all I can do, Carver. I've closed the wound, but you need a potion."

I reached into my bag, pulled one out, and handled it to him but he refused it unless I took one. "That undead thing shocked your bloody system. When you come down from your battle-high, you won't be able to move."

I rolled my eyes and drunk it. Then I reached for another and glared him down till he drank it.

"You're worse than mother," the younger man grumbled as he did as I asked; when he was finished, I nodded and stood up. I showed no weakness as I did so. My mask was up and then I looked for my new friend. Fuck, that was embarrassing. Fenris had left.

Hawke spoke up then. "Varric, Carver, look around and take what you want. See if there is anything here that we can see for coin to add to our fund. The two of us," he looked at me, "are going outside to talk with Fenris."

Carver let me go because our brother would be with me, but he didn't look happy about it.

When we got out of the damn mansion, Fenris wasn't too far: he was leaning up against the wall outside of the door.

"It never ends. I escaped a land of dark magic only to have it haunt me at every turn. It is a plague burned into my flesh and my soul. And now I find myself in the company of yet another mage," he came closer to me. "I saw you casting spells inside. I should have realized sooner what you were. Who else can sense magic but one who uses it? What kind of mage are you that you deny your magic to wield blades? What is it you seek?"

Hawke didn't say anything; in fact, he stepped back into the house. He tried to get out of earshot of me and my new friend, but he made damn sure he could see me. This makes me sure that he remembered that I needed to be watched.

I looked up at the moon above us and sighed. "I saw you inside as well. Let me guess, you had Lyrium infused into your skin. That is what your markings are made of," I countered, my voice tired.

Fenris narrowed his eyes. "What does that have to do with anything?"

I looked him straight in the eyes, and he did not flinch. "I wasn't born with magic," I confessed and took pleasure in how it threw off. "When I was fifteen or sixteen, one of the Guild Masters of the Crows sold me, without permission, to a Magister that wanted to try and repeat what your former Master did to you."

Fenris immediately looked me over to see where my markings were but he didn't find them. "My Lyrium isn't on the skin, it's _inside_ of me. The blood magic ritual infused it with my blood. The bastard said he didn't want a battery like the other one had...or was it a guard? No, he wanted to see if he could create a mage."

"That is why you said it was unnatural…" Fenris trailed off, so he did hear part of what I said in there.

"I try and not to use magic because I didn't have it when I was born. The Magister was stupid; he tried to use an ancient Elven Ritual that was meant for something else." I stopped and didn't say anymore; although from looking at Fenris' face, a part of me thought he knew exactly what I was talking about.

But then, like mine, it was gone.

"So am I to assume that this magic you have gained is through the use of the Lyrium inside of your blood?" he questioned, trying to understand me.

I nodded. "What you can do…is something I have never seen a mage able to do, at least in this time. I did find an old journal that spoke of being able to have such skills through the use of the Fade, but no mage alive now could do anything similar. I have seen a mage be able to ghost through someone, and, if said mage is strong enough, able to freeze the one ghosted through, but it is only used in defense. And at that, only one mage can do it, but, from what I've been told, she hasn't been able to do it more than twice."

Fenris took in my words, and I could tell that he didn't like them. In a split second, he had decided to do something, something that had my brother almost killing him. It took everything Hawke had to hold not only himself back but Carver, who was watching from the doorway—they couldn't hear us, but they could see us.

Fenris activated his markings on his left hand and shoved it inside my chest. I didn't flinch but I did tense up. I didn't expect him to do this, but after he did it, I tried everything I could to relax. Fenris seemed amazed. "Never have I seen anyone not scream, beg, or react in pain when I have done this. You do not move, and you _relax_ into it. I could kill you right now, and yet, you do not fight me."

"You are my friend," I said softly, "besides, you must have a good reason for doing it. I mean, you do remember the two overprotective assholes just a bit over there," I tilted my head slightly to the left.

Fenris nodded and decided to explain. "I was trying to see if I could feel the Lyrium inside of you; to see if you are telling the truth. I wasn't going to hurt you despite how I distrust mages," then, as an afterthought he asked me, "Do you trust me?"

That deep place inside of me where I had memories of another life of where I had magic did trust him. She knew that he would never hurt us unless it wasn't on purpose. He would die for us. But the rogue turned into a templar-mage didn't trust him…yet.

"Not yet," I told him honestly. "Can you feel it?"

Fenris' hand left my body as he nodded his confirmation.

"So, I'm not really a mage. I've been tested by Templars and the Qunari, and neither can tell I use magic. Even when I'm using magic in front of them, all they can sense is Lyrium. But, what happened isn't natural, and precautions must be taken—especially since my mind has tendencies, as the years go on, to drift and become unstable."

Fenris narrowed his eyes. "Do you hear demons?"

I shook my head. "Actually, I have really no connection to the Fade—just like any other person who doesn't have magic. I cannot hear their call. However, I have been in the Fade once. A higher level Sloth Demon had been summoned out of the Fade and trapped me and my group in it."

Fenris seemed to take in all I said before he realized something. "You've been to the Qunari. They may not treat you as Saarabas, but did they say you require an Arvaarad?"

So he had noticed my brother's keeping watch over me. I nodded, "I'd rather be safe than sorry. I know I do not hear the song of the Fade, but…I need someone there to stop me from going too far." I closed my eyes. "I've killed a lot of people; a couple of times I snapped, I had no rhyme or reason in my head—just death."

The elf looks to my brothers, who have calmed down and appeared neutral, and then back to me. "I have seen the horrors of magic, but I can accept that there are good mages out there. However, the good can always been destroyed just as quickly by succumbing to demons and resorting to blood magic."

"As far as I know, if you don't hear the demons, there are no dangers, but it does not hurt to be cautious. You must understand Fenris, that magic isn't the problem; it is those who wield it. Magic is but a tool, just like that sword you wield, or the dangers I use. These weapons we hold can do damage just as magic can—it can kill innocents, destory lives, and convince people to do what they wish not to do. I do agree that magic is dangerous, but so are these weapons."

"Blades cannot command the elements!" Fenris countered.

"Did you not see what I did before I revealed I had magic? Runes can give weapons properties of magic."

Fenris growled, either he was displeased that I was not understanding these dangers or that I was making good points—probably both, and my true-twin had had enough. Carver came stomping over to us, grabbed him, swung me behind him, and growled himself at the elf.

"She saved your life, all of our lives quite a few times in there, and you're tearing into her because she can use magic?" so they could hear us all this time.

Fenris sighed. "I imagine I appear ungrateful. If so, I apologize, for nothing could be further from the truth. She has given me much to think on," the elf looked down at his markings then back at me. I knew then that he saw a connection between us, and I prayed to the Maker that the elf would stay. "I did not find Denarius, but I still owe you a debt. Here is all the coin I have as Anso promised."

The silver-headed elf tried to hand a coin purse to my brother, but I butted my blood out of the way and gently pushed Fenris' hand back to him. I made sure that no skin was touching; I remembered that after the ritual, I didn't want to be touched. But then again, I never wanted to be touched except by Carver and my Master.

"I'm glad to have helped; we are friends after all," I smiled. "And friends don't pay other friends for help."

Carver and the dwarf groaned, but I didn't hear anything from Hawke. "Control the woman, Hawke," Varric muttered. Everyone ignored him, though.

For a single second, I had thought the elf would be angry at me, angry at owing a mage, even if we kind of decided I wasn't one, but still. I felt relief when I saw he only looked confused.

Fenris looked a bit lost. "You are truly strange, woman. Should you find yourself in need of assistance, then, I would gladly render it," then he hesitated for a moment. "Do you require another Arvaarad?"

Carver did not know what it mean, neither did the others, but he protested it. "She doesn't need a mage-hating elf. She already has a manwhore one that I have no doubt will be back in a couple of months to take her away. Seriously, we don't need another right, brother?"

"Manwhore? Master?" was all Fenris could say.

I rolled my eyes. "It is my Master, and he won't be back until I send for him. He's…" I wavered, "either fallen in love, in lust, or something. But right now he has found someone," I think then my face showed I was lost myself.

"You don't need him; you have me. Now that you aren't a Crow anymore, you don't need Zevran. I was tired of listening to you flirt. It's not even like you want him; you're like siblings."

"Again, there is such a story there," Varric commented…I think I was going to be ignoring that one a lot.

I turned to Fenris and gave him a small smile. "If you are willing, I could use one that isn't…so attached to me. One that is outside and isn't blinded by family connections."

Fenris nodded then, "I will be here when you have need of me. If Danarius wants his mansion back, he will have to take it."

I grinned darkly, and Fenris only chuckled with the words that followed. "I'm truly looking forward to meeting this Master of yours. Although, I'm kind of jealous that my daggers want to meet him even more."

~Wolf and Raven~

It didn't take long before we headed back into Lowtown. Carver was quietly telling me everything that happened since we left.

"We escaped Lothering before the Darkspawn hit, but they chased us for days. We didn't think we'd make it, but then we found Aveline—she's the woman from earlier. She was part of the army at Ostagar, and she helped us fight our way through. But we got overwhelmed, an Ogre came out of nowhere, went after mother, but Bethany saved her."

He didn't tell me what happened to Bethany, but I could feel it from him. Carver and I always had a strong connection between us despite us being born to different twins. I could only imagine what he felt like, to lose his twin. Even though we were closer than he and Bethany were, that didn't mean our sister didn't have a deep connection with him. I fought mine with our brother tooth and nail, but I wonder what I'd do if I lost him.

"I think I'm going to start a new serial, it's called Fawke and Henris. A romance, I think, between a mage hater and a mage. It sounds better than the one where the Assassin mentor is a man-whore yet protects the chastity of his student." Varric decided.

Hawke just chuckled. "Varric, I don't think Carver is going to like that one. And I'm sure the only one who'd get it would be Fenris. My sister is dense…in some aspects of life. I think one time when she was home, I found a village boy flirting with her and she didn't even notice. Yet if her Master starts flirting with her, she does it right back. Sometimes, she even talks dirty. It drives Carver mad."

Carver growled at the both of them before pulling me tighter against him. "Since the manwhore isn't here and your brother doesn't seem to care, I'll have to protect you from all others. That means no flirting, even if you don't know if they are flirting."

I rolled my eyes, "I can tell if someone is flirting—they just can't be subtle about it. Master taught me non-subtle flirting."

Once we got to, what Carver called, the Hangman, we left Varric and went to home sweet home. Mother was in bed, the dog was asleep, and they didn't know where our Uncle was. They showed me where we would be sleep—there were only two beds.

"You can sleep with of us," Hawke said. "It's not like we aren't used to it."

I nodded, and after getting into a big shirt that belonged to one of them, I crawled into bed. I wanted to have my back against the wall.

As Carver was getting into the bunk with me, Hawke spoke again. "Tomorrow, we're going to see the Warden that is here. I was hoping you'd go with us. Did you meet any Wardens during the Blight or during your travels?"

I rested my head on Carver's shoulder as I looked at him. "I was actually traveling with the Hero of Ferelden during the Blight. After she left Lothering, she went to Denerim, and I almost meet her there. But alas, it was only a few days later that Zev and I ambushed then and tried to kill them. Someone had put a contract out on her. If it hadn't been a Blight, I'd probably would have helped Zev kill them. Of course, if it didn't happen to be our cousin, Elissa." I yawned, "Can I tell you boys about my travels in the morning?"

Hawke nodded, "after we get the Warden, though, I want you and Carver to go up to Sundermount where the Dalish live. To get out of Ferelden, we needed help. The price of that help was for us to take an amulet to the Dalish. Aveline needs my help tomorrow, or I'd take it. This way we take out two birds with one stone."

Carver and I agreed, and we all went to bed for the night. I had thought what would come next, would be easy. After all, nothing could be as hard as the Blight, right? Oh, was I wrong. My time in Kirkwall pushed me to my limits and had me breaking a time or two. But, after all, there had to be a reason for being tested that much, right?

Like I once asked myself, and I'd find myself asking it for ten years inside Kirkwall, what was I being prepared for?


	4. DA:II Part 2 (Act 1)

**MOON SAYS**: So, I wrote this over a two day period, the first in awhile, I know. But I didn't post it till a day later so I could do some edits on both Chap 3&amp;4\. Also, I have a mini-outline! Chapter 8 ends Act 1 in the Deep Roads. I had to cut off the Isabella and Anders bit in this chapter, as I don't want to be going over 20 pages. Enjoy! –P.S. I added some to the last chapter, hoping some areas were explained more. It isn't much, just a few clarity issues. THIS IS FOR THE REVIEWERS who gave me the will to continue with this fic!

**CHALLENGE**: The same…

**WORDS**: 10, 796

**PAGES**: 22

**POSTED**: 24 Feb 2015 (written 22/23)

**EDITED: **24 Feb 2015

**The Wolf and The Raven**

**~Chapter 4: DAII Part 2 (Act 1)~**

When we woke, I quickly drew four Runes on my brother's weapons. Later, I'd add others for strength and such. After that, we were out of the hovel before…mother woke, and I asked them if we could stop by the Chantry sometime today. Hawke shrugged, he knew he'd have business there later and I could come with him, but Carver was suspicious. I really wasn't going to tell him I wanted to meet a man.

It took no time to get the Hangman to meet with Varric. I was not impressed with this tavern, but I had seen worse. Of course my luck was shittest; as soon as we entered and past the bar, some idiots went to attack a woman…who had no clothes on. Maybe she deserved to be harassed? Hawke launched in the fight but didn't do much. He tripped a few idiots onto my tiny knives, the ones I keep to throw at people for a quick kill. I didn't kill them, though, but it nicked something and they ran out of here screaming that we killed them.

I watched as she flirted and outright tried to seduce my brother and I. I narrowed my eyes at her…she looked familiar. Isabella…ship…

"Where you in Denerim recently?" I asked with no emotion in my voice. If this was the whore from there, then that would explain why I detest her.

The pirate nodded. "I was there during the Blight for a short time, but I got out before it got bad. You look familiar, have I bed you already?"

"You wish, whore," I spat out before leaving and heading up the stairs. I saw Varric waving at me. I wonder if he could tell I was about to kill her.

Carver didn't even spare a glance at the woman…a name too good for her. "What did she do to piss you off?"

"She fucked my Master," was my quiet response. "I detest whores. Did you know when her husband was murdered, by my Master and I, she decided to spend two days _thanking _him?"

As I entered room, Carver asked me full of confusion. "So are you jealous?"

I snorted. "Not in the way you are thinking of. That woman has no morals to speak of, and on top of that, she fucks anything with a pulse. She has no standards, something that even my Master does. I despise women like that and I and nothing to do with her." I tilted my head at him as I noticed we were the focus of Varric's attention now. "Beware, she will try and bed you. Do not become another mark for her."

Varric's eyes light up as he realized what I was saying. "You are one of those people who think that sex should be special with someone who cares about you. Not some meaningless pleasure."

I actually smiled at him. "I think I'm going to like you dwarf; now where is this elusive Warden hiding. I didn't sense any taint in Hightown or Lowtown. Is there another part of the city?"

Before he could answer Hawke walked in. "So what is this mysterious connection that you have with Wardens besides fighting alongside two of them for a year?"

I thought about his question for a moment, glad he didn't mention the whore. "That's why I went to Amarantine. It now, after Howe's betrayal, belongs to the Wardens. You will not believe what we found _there._"

Varric looked between the two of us. "I have no doubt that with the stories you two tell, I will never run out of tales," the dwarf got up and went to get his crossbow. "I think it's time to show little Hawke Darktown."

I shook my head. "If you are going to call me a bird, I'd prefer Raven."

"What, you don't like Hawks?" Varric countered as we left the tavern.

"Hawks are okay, but Ravens are better." I told him simply as he began to show me how to get to Darktown from the tavern. It was no wonder I didn't see Darktown because it was _under _the city.

Once we got close to the clinic of the Warden Healer, I tensed up. "This Warden…you didn't tell me he was a mage."

Hawke gave me one of his smirks. "You didn't ask, dear."

Carver wouldn't let me go in first, and I think that was a good thing because if I had, I would have killed the bastard Healer. As I didn't, it gave me a few seconds to get control of myself and not lash out. At least this way, the boy got healed.

"I HAVE MADE THIS PLACE A—"

"Oh shut the fuck up," for some reason the vibes I was getting off of the Warden mage was making my head hurt. I pushed my brothers aside and my eyes narrowed. Anders was here and the fuckward was glowing not just with magic…but the Fade.

The glowing stopped and he took a few steps back. "Mora, I…"

I looked at him unimpressed, my hands went to my hips. "Yes, Anders, you were just about to explain what you are doing here and not in Amarantine where I left you."

Varric in the back was laughing, "Oh shit. This woman is amazing. We should use her to scare anyone who crosses you, Hawke. They'd never do so again."

Hawke just chuckled darkly as he took in my scolding of Anders. I knew I'd have to answer how I knew him, but that was later.

Anders started stumbling over his words before he got a good excuse. "I couldn't stand with that Stroud bastard. He made me get rid of my cat."

"A cat is what made you leave the order?" I snorted before I stopped half way through the snort. "Cat? Was it Sir Pounce-a-lot?"

I could hear the laughs from behind me but I ignored them. This was serious.

Anders nodded frantically, as if he thought this excuse as enough. "I didn't want to be with such heartless people. They weren't like you and Elissa. After the two of you left, it was hell on all of us. Nate," he spat, "went with me to the Free Marches. The others got to stay in Ferelden."

I looked around. "And you came here to Kirkwall. I hear you are helping the refugees, healing them, things like that."

"Amongst other things," he confessed. "What are you doing here? I thought you were with the scary manwhore elf? Did he finally leave you alone?" when I nodded, he smirked like the old Anders I knew. "So now that he is gone, what do you say to my…offer of helping you stay healthy?" he winked at me causing me to blink.

Carver was about to take his sword and shove it up Anders' ass before I said, "What offer? I don't remember you saying anything, especially when it had to do with my Master present."

Honestly, I didn't remember until Anders spoke up. "You don't remember me telling you that sex is healthy?"

My eyes lit up. "Oh, I remember now!" I laughed for a second before I did exactly what I did last time. "Do you see this two dark haired men behind me?" Anders eyed them warily, I think he could tell where this was going. "These are my brothers, Hawke and Carver; note also the pointy swords on their backs."

Anders raised his arms as if he gave up. "Seeing as you have family here, I know you didn't follow me. Did you even know I was here?"

I shook my head. "I just got in last night. The dwarf and my brother have some business with you. They want your maps of the Deep Roads…you do have maps to the Deep Roads, right?" it never occurred to me that he wouldn't have them. In fact, I didn't have any. Maybe it was a full Warden kind of thing.

Anders grimaced. "Why on earth would you want to go in there? Tell them, Mora, the Deep Roads aren't fun. I'd be happy to never see any of them again for the rest of my life."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "When did you go in the Deep Roads? It wasn't with me because when I went, you were with Elissa."

Maybe it was the tone I used, but he replied back with, "Captain, Stroud made us go. That's where Sir Pounce-a-lot _mysteriously _disappeared."

"Captain," Hawke said as he appraised me. "kind of high on the Warden food chain weren't you?"

Anders snorted. "No, she was really the Warden Commander. Elissa made sure everyone, especially your precious Nate, know that Mora here was Commander when she wasn't around."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I don't have any maps of my own, so do you have any?" I asked bringing us back on track.

He looked at me, took in the blades still on my back, and then back at me. "An exchange since we'll such good friends. I came to Kirkwall to aid a friend, a mage."

A smirk tainted my lips. "And what do you need my help with? You the one who escaped from the Circle like seven times."

Anders let a smile come over his face. "The Circle here is in the Gallows, and the Templars there are among the worst. I am meeting Karl tonight in the Chantry, help me get him out of there and I'll hand over the map."

"Or she could just order you too; didn't you say she was your Commander?" Carver countered; I knew he didn't want me near Templars or mages at all. Even if they couldn't catch me as a mage, he didn't want to take any chances.

Anders ignored my brother, which just made Carver dislike the blonde more. "I heard the dwarf call him Hawke," he titled his head at my other brother. "I've heard about you. If you need a mage in your company, I will offer my services for a little while. I have plans to leave before the year is out, but until then, I offer you my staff. I am a Spirit Healer, so your group would benefit."

"It's up to you, Hawke. I may not be here tonight. I have that job that needs me out of Kirkwall, remember? But if I get back in time, I will join you in the Chantry. The three of you can discuss the details, Carver and I are leaving." Then, as an afterthought, I told Anders, "Remember, you are a Warden."

As we were walking out, Anders called to me, "Pet, are you going to turn me over to the Wardens now that you found me? Or will you keep me for yourself?"

I flicked him off because, really, he said that on purpose to get a rise out of me. As he laughed, he said, "Anytime! My offer will stand despite pointy weapons of brothers."

~Wolf and Raven~

As we make our way through Lowtown, Carver remembered that he had to do some shopping for his mother. "I'll drop you off with the elf, since you think he's okay enough to keep you in check, while I do the errands mother wants."

I nodded as it was fine to me. I though Fenris and I would prefer not to have an audience (this time); besides, I had no doubt I would find myself sharing things with him. I could tell the elf was as haunted as I was.

The door wasn't even locked, but I did knock. I just didn't wait for him to answer. Fenris had been on the run for who knows how long; I had no doubt that if I caught him off guard, he would try and kill me.

As I started to go up the stairs to the main bedroom, where I heard and felt the hum of his Lyrium, I called to him softly. "Fenris, I'm coming up," I had no doubt with his ears he'd hear me.

When I walked into his bedroom, he had a bottle of wine in his hand and told me about it. I didn't pay attention to the name as I never drank, so knowing wines and such did not matter. There were some wines I knew by sight and smell as we had used them in clever assassinations before.

But what was important that Fenris told me came after the wine's name. "Denarius had me pour it for his guests. My appearance intimidated them, he said, which he enjoyed."

I looked at him with confusion on my face. "How could someone not like looking at you? Whoever his guests were must have been asexual." I stated the truth without even thinking, and after the words left my mouth, I realized that Fenris might think I was flirting with him. Huh, I don't remember ever flirting with someone for real. Zev was always fun to tease and scold, but it never meant anything. But this with Fenris? I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that this was real—very fucking real. And I knew unless I was certain that I wanted him, wanting to love him, that I needed to stop it right now. It wouldn't be fair to the former slave.

"You say what's on your mind, I'll give you that." Fenris said without inflection to this voice. He drunk one more time, and then he threw the bottle against the wall to my left.

"I don't know if you noticed, but you do have no shoes on." Fenris just raised an eyebrow as if asking me my point. "You just shattered that bottle, ergo, there are bits of glass all over there. Do you plan on walking in that area of the room anytime soon?"

Fenris didn't know what to make of me or what I said, so he just shrugged it off as if it didn't matter. He'd probably been through worse than stepping on glass, and it was only with that train of thought that I realized the broken bottle didn't matter at all. Here I was making note of things that didn't really matter again.

Fenris continued on as if hearing me comment on the dangers to his feet didn't happen. He looked where he had thrown the bottle. "It's good I can take pleasure in the small things."

I'd give him that one. "Breaking things is always fun, but I always thought more pleasure could be had in battle or breaking the bottle over someone's head. Breaking or stabbing heads is always fun, now that I think about it."

Fenris fought a smile that wished to tug at his lips. "You are a bloodthirsty little minx aren't you?"

I looked at him unapologetically, and he moved on with something that weighed on his mind. "It seems the past will not stay behind me. Have you ever wanted to return to Ferelden?"

Fenris didn't know of my situation, so I informed him. "I've traveled around most of my life with Zevran, my mentor. The other parts were spent wherever my family was. Each year from age six on, I spent half with my blood and half with Zevran. But after…the incident," Fenris didn't need me to tell him which one, "I stayed away for a while. Father already had Bethany to worry about, he didn't need an older girl who didn't know her ass from her face when it came to magic or controlling whatever happened to me. It didn't matter where I was, as long as I was with those who accepted me, liked me for me. Here I have those things. My…mother was born here or so I'm told."

I had never told anyone that before; most already knew my situation, but to stay that I cared not where I went as long as someone was there who wanted me, to reveal something so deep, so personal…what did that mean? Why was I telling him this? Why was I beginning to trust him? Fenris just stepped into my life last night—maybe he was there in Starkhaven, but I wasn't sure—and I was sharing with him my deepest soul?

"Do you wish to go back to Tevinter, if you were not hunted? If you were truly free?" I asked, countering his question.

Fenris considered my question seriously before he said, "I have no deep ties as you do that allows you to be content anywhere. But to have the option to be able to put down roots anywhere, even if it is just with one person, must be gratifying. As for your question, I am not sure that I could stand to go back surrounded by what I had been lost in. Even if I am free, I could still see the chains of those around me, ones they would wear happily because they do not know anything else."

"Then will you stay here?" I quickly asked after he spoke.

Fenris looked me in the eyes then before he answered, "I could see myself staying for the right reasons."

A few moments past as I tried to understand what he meant as it could be taken more than a few ways. Fenris then asked me something else that had been weighing on his mind before I could truly contemplate what he words meant. "I saw you in Starkhaven. Those hunters were coming for me as I am sure you figured out by now. Will you go to Tevinter to claim that seat? That power?"

I was tired of standing so I leaned up against the wall to the right of the doorway. "I've thought about what claiming that seat could mean. I've come to the conclusion that it needs to be done. Maybe I can do something good with that evil twat's property. Maybe I can turn the slaves into servants, into people who can cast off their chains. But I know nothing of the Imperium, and a part of me never wants to, especially after seeing what it has done to us both."

Silence took us over as we both tired to contemplate our words. I wasn't stupid enough to not believe our conversations weren't heavy with meaning that I didn't understand. I knew we were becoming closer, and that buried part of me loved it. I was wary as I could tell Fenris was. We were too used to being alone to accept someone so quickly in our lives.

"How long have you been running, if you don't mind me asking." I spoke softly, hoping he would tell me.

"Three years," he replied, "and yet Danarius always seems to find me. Maybe it is the markings. Whatever it is, I'll use it to my advantage when he comes looking for me here. You do not have to help me, but I would not turn down the help. I do believe this is the first time I've given him reason to pause. I guess there is an advantage to numbers."

I raised both my eyebrows showing him with my face that his statement wasn't taken very well. "I do not have to help you? Have you forgot already that we are friends? I will be the first to admit that there are things that I am not sure about when it comes to friendship, but everyone says being friends means being there when the other needs you. Maybe together we can find out what being friends means."

Fenris shook his head in disbelief amusement as if he couldn't believe he was taking friendship lessons from _me _of all people.

I didn't need to ask if he had sought help before. Fenris didn't seem the type to trust others, so if he did seek help, he'd use coin, but a former slave on the run having that much coin? Not likely, but if he did, it was once or twice. If it was me, I'd save the coin for inns or food.

"Danarius will not give up. I await his return."

My eyes darkened as a grinned. "As do I, my dear elf, as do I."

"I should thank you for your help with the hunters again. If I knew Anso would find me a woman so capable, I would have asked him to look sooner."

I kept my face straight as I replied. "Maybe I should be thanking the dwarf."

Fenris replied back with a straight face as I had as soon as I finished speaking. "Maybe you should." The elf stood up and walked a step or so toward me, "Perhaps I'll practice my flattery for your next visit. With any luck, I'll become better at it."

He was flirting with me, and for the first time ever, I was actually doing it back serious. Well, I couldn't let the conversation end there, so I added, "Until then, we will find bad guys and slaughter them! Or find bad people and torture them by sticking our hands in their chest and ripping out their hearts. You must teach me how to do that."

Before Fenris could react to my bloodthirsty ways again, Carver came through the door. "If the two of you are doing anything I don't approval of, the elf is getting something cut off."

I burst out laughing. "Yes, brother," I called to him. "Fenris and I are naked and having passionate, yet brutal, sex. He's already almost broken my pelvis."

Fenris turned around so I couldn't see his face, but I wondered if he was embarrassed or laughing along with the teasing. He could be angry, but I somehow doubt it.

Carver didn't like my teasing of him, but it seemed that he didn't believe me. "Just get him and hurry up. The sun is up, and we have much to do."

Fenris seemed to get control of himself and raised an eyebrow at me. "Sorry, I forgot why I came here when you distracted me with wine."

Carver heard and growled. "Are you trying to seduce my sister, elf?"

"Is she like this with everyone?" Fenris countered my brother. I loved that he was becoming more comfortable with us to banter and tease us.

Carver didn't say anything, but I did. "Actually, the only one I flirt with is my Master, but it's never serious. So, do you want to go torture some elves today?"

~Wolf and Raven~

"Sebastian, stop this madness. The Chantry cannot condone this." I heard an older woman speak as we walked into the Chantry square after leaving Fenris mansion on our way to leave the city. My eyes locked onto the man in armor, white _shiny _armor…in that one instant, I knew I wanted that man…

I was about to move to go to him and his shiny self and ask if he would be mine, but Fenris grabbed me and pulled me back toward the section of Hightown where he was holding up. Carver hadn't even noticed me going into obsessive mode (instead he kept on walking), and I knew Fenris noticed it too because he started to mutter in the language of Tevinter how useless my brother was being.

"No, no," I whispered cried, as the elf drug me away into the shadows—which there wasn't much considering the sun was starting to rise over this section of Hightown. "I must have the shiny rogue."

I didn't understand at first why I was whispering, but when the rogue spoke, I knew exactly way. It was then I remembered that I had met him before; he was the one who pinned me to the floor not too many hours ago. Master was right, he did have such a sexy voice, and I wanted to hear it, so I whispered as not to distract him—which meant no more sexy voice.

"It is my right, my duty, to show these assassins…" I stopped listening right there and just focused on him and his sexy voice. I may not have heard the words but damn—

Fenris squeezed me, trying to bring me back to a right state of mind. "No, you don't have to _have_ the man." The elf paused for a second, as I said, "But he's so shinnnnyyy." I tried to get my elf friend to understand, but Fenris only responded with, "am I not enough?"

That brought me out of hoarding state of mind. "Of course you are! We're friends! But can't I have more than one friend?" I asked as I titled my head to look at him. I think I may have just looked too innocent, used my puppy dog eyes without my knowing, or maybe it was just me asking _him_ of all people, a former slave, if I could have something. Fenris blushed, but I think it as after he controlled himself a second later that he realized something important and at that moment I did too. I had asked for his permission to have a friend, just like I did my brother the night before. I was putting myself as submissive to these men in my life. I had, by asking for their help to control me and for this permission to have friends, put them above me in quite a lot of ways. From the awed look mixed with utter confusion, Fenris was just coming to understand that I was like no one else.

"What did my sister do to get you to touch her?" Carver asked with something in his tone I wasn't sure I liked. There was some humor in it, but something else that made me huff.

"She asked to have the shiny archer over there and then tried to take him." Fenris answered as he titled his head toward Sebastian who just drew his bow like it was nothing and shot an arrow at the flyer he placed on the board.

"I don't think I should find that sexy, but I think I do," I commented so softly that only Fenris heard me, and he stiffened behind me in response. I sighed, relaxing in his hold no longer fighting him. "I have spent too much time around my Master. Maybe I need to get laid…"

Carver's eyes got huge, so that meant I said that last part out loud and within his hearing. Fenris let go of me, and I separated myself from him. "Sister!"

I blinked. "Don't worry, I'll fall in love with someone first. But it may take awhile. After all, who would want to love me?"

I sighed and went to walk toward the board to see what my Starkhaven ex-rogue put on it when a man creepily started psssting me. I stopped about halfway there and looked over at him. This was not a sign from the Maker was it? Please, Maker no! I'd pray to the Creator for help if it was. When he started to wave me over, I turned back to the two with me. "Is it just me, or is a guy propositioning me over there." I pointed.

Carver bit his lip, and Fenris just shook his head. "He probably thinks you tried to kill the shiny rogue and now thinks you can do something for him." Before Carver could ask how he knew that, I answered his unasked question. "You're never going to let me forget that are you? Although, I should have known that. People used to do it to me and my Master all the time when we traveled. Of course, people also randomly asked us for sex too."

Carver and Fenris twitched; I knew the former did it because of the sex comment, and the latter was for both. I forget he doesn't like me saying Master even if he knows I say it in terms of a mentor.

I went over to the creepy man to see what he wanted. What he wanted me to do was go to some ruins, find a prisoner, and then come back here with said criminal. Considering the bastard wasn't asking for the Guard, I knew this was supposed to be some sneaky shit.

"We are on our way to Sundermount; we'll hit the ruins on the way back."

"No, I want it done now!" the man even stomped like a child. "I will pay you double," he bribed.

Carver pulled me to him, "We need the money sister. The Dalish can wait another day if need be; they've waited a year already."

I nodded, "But if the bastard dies in the attempt, I will continue my other quest and see you when I get back."

On the way out of the city, I grabbed the flyer, and it was only thanks to my training that I kept all my emotions in check. My sexy, shiny ex-rogue was a Prince from Starkhaven. Good Maker, what had I gotten myself into?

It wasn't till we were out of the city that I stopped and turned toward Fenris. "I'm sorry, Fenris! I didn't even ask if you wanted to do this. You agreed to go pester the Dalish and maybe cause psychological damage to them, not go play in ruins." I toed the dirt with my boot. I felt awful; he was an escaped slave, and I was acting like his Master, dragging him off to do whatever I wanted to do.

Fenris tried not to sigh. "Is she always this insane?"

Carver stayed quiet, trying not to snort or laugh.

"I agreed to come with you, to be your Arvaarad. That means if you accept to go somewhere I go."

Carver raised an eyebrow at the elf. "That isn't what she meant. I think what my sister is trying to say is that she is trying not to act like she is your Master. That is why she feels guilty for not asking if you wanted to do this side-trip."

I nodded to show that was what I was thinking, but I didn't say anything or look at him.

Fenris picked up my chin and made me look at him. "You truly are something strange. If I do not want to do something, I will speak up. If I do not agree with you, I will voice my objection. You will led and not feel guilty as long as I do this. Is this agreeable?"

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Good," he said, "now let us get going. The sun has been up for an hour or so. I am concerned over this job as why would he not go through the Guard for a prisoner or have the transport occur when the sun has not let risen. That Magistrate had been waiting there since last night. I noticed him as we went into Hightown."

I agreed as I had been thinking along the same lines. The ruin was not that far from Kirkwall, and we were there in under an hour.

There were Guards already at the ruin when we got there. Of course, they weren't alone. There was a male elf there raising a fuss. It seemed that the monster inside had killed many elf children and no one gave a shit about it.

It was always something with this world: slaves, mages, elves. Fuck! For a second, I seriously considered that the world needed to be made anew. Fuck, it wasn't this bad in the past. Yeah, there were slaves and the like, but in the end, most of the shit was them or the people.

When the elf saw us approach, he immediately knew, as did the Guards, that we had been sent for that monster. They both tried to convince me to handle the situation as they saw fit, but I didn't let either the Guard in charge or the elf change my opinion.

"I will do what needs to be done. If the world doesn't need the monster…crap, the world doesn't need a lot of people. Look, I'll do what needs to be done, okay? Death or imprisonment will depend on what I find."

And boy what did I find. There were spiders, which I didn't care about. But I had a bad feeling when the Arcane Horror, the dead skeletons, and the Revenant—I bloody hate those things!—started popping up that we were dealing with a mage. After we cleared out the room, we journeyed deeper and found more undead—why the fuck am I always surrounded with undead?

"Maker help this fucking world if I see another undead creature after this. I might just let the world burn," I muttered darkly as we came into a room with a girl elf.

I stared at her for a few seconds as my two male companions filed in after me. Fenris didn't see her as he started teasing me. "Really, Mora, out of everything out there in the world, you hate the undead more?"

I turned to him, "I like to kill things. I don't like it when they come back." After saying this I turned to the girl curled up in the corner of the room. "Does anyone know how to talk to scared children?"

Fenris and Carver snorted, the latter actually said something. "You're a woman, go comfort her. Ask her with the evil mage is."

I said a few choice things in the Qunari language at my brother, causing Fenris' eyes to go wide as he realized not only that I spoke the language but what I actually said. It wasn't nice.

I kneeled down, "Da'len," I said softly. "It's okay. You're papa sent me here to see if you were still alive." Well, he was hoping the girl was alive, so I didn't exactly lie.

"My father's safe? Kelder said he would hurt my family if I didn't come with him."

So we had a name to the evil children killing mage. "Kelder? Is he the one who kidnapped you? Did he hurt you?" my brother asked.

The girl nodded. "He is the one who took me." She was quiet for a second as she looked down at the tiled floor of the ruin. "He hit me," the elf girl said slowly. "He told me I was nothing. I begged him to stop hurting me. I didn't think he would, but out of nowhere, he pushed me away and started crying!" she told us in disbelief.

The girl had a look on her face that told me exactly where this conversation was going to go. "Don't you see? He didn't mean to hurt me. He told me that there are these demons that make him do these horrible things."

I held back my snort. "I'll have to remember that excuse," I turned to Fenris. "Do you think it'll work if I said a _demon made me do it_?"

Fenris' look told me he was unimpressed with my sarcasm. Carver just rolled his eyes and ignored me. Did he think if he did so, I would stop?

"But it's true!" she tried to plead with us. "How else could he do something like this?"

"She is a child and does not understand. Her pity is admirable but misplaced." Fenris commented.

"Child or no, that way of thinking will get her killed," I agreed as I rubbed my face as the situation hit me. Really…I had to be stuck with a fucking job that involved murdering mages. Anders was going to hate me even more.

"It's not his fought! It's not his fought," the girl cried. "Please don't kill him. He just needs help. Can you get rid of the demons?"

"Da'len," I started. "You must understand that if there are demons inside of someone that means that person is no longer there. But I will take care of the demon. Go, find your father." I ordered, and as soon as she was out of earshot, Fenris snorted and said, "You're going to kill him, aren't you?"

I smirked. "Did you doubt me? Besides, he is the demon now, or is the term abomination? Either way, demons and abominations die. So I didn't really lie, I said I was going to kill the demon."

We continued on, killed some more undead, and I think someone got scratched…wait, that was me. I hope I wasn't infected with something.

I kicked open the door, and the evil mage didn't even move from his spot on the floor. "I just wasted a perfectly good entrance. We're going to kill him."

I ignored the sounds coming from my two males before I approached the asshole who ruined my entrance. He wasn't even fighting me.

"I knew my father would send someone after me. I was hoping the beasts would get to me first."

I blinked. "So you're suicidal? Suddenly, this isn't fun anymore."

"Magic is never fun, even more so when you have an out of control mage." Fenris growled.

"Well, either you are half an abomination or you aren't one at all. You don't look like one either. At least, not like the ones I saw back in Ferelden's Tower. Are you so guilty for killing those children that you want to die?"

"Of course I feel guilty! I listened to the voices of the demons in my head. The children were so pretty—they shouldn't be that beautiful! I should have been put down a long time ago if it wasn't for my father hiding me away." Wow, this mage was bitter..

"Your father?" Carver questioned.

"The Magistrate. He didn't tell you, of course he didn't. He's ashamed that he has a mage for a son, so he keeps me hidden—" and the rest I didn't listen to. So the boy as trying to get attention from his father and, at the same time, try and relieve his father's burden. Huh.

"Fenris," I interrupted the boy on his petty lament. "Since I'm a nice person, and you haven't let our your mage-magic hate today…do you want to do the honors?"

"Thank you!" the evil deranged mage cried. "Just give my father the letter in my pocket, please."

I turned to Fenris. "If you don't feel like it, I'll do—"

I saw him move, felt the buildup of his Lyrium, and braced myself as he shoved his hand in the chest of guy. I robbed the dead guy and then snapped my fingers so his body caught on fire.

As we started to leave, I looked at Fenris critically, only to have him raise an eyebrow at me—he liked to do that a lot I've started to notice. "Next time vary it up a bit. Ripping out hearts gets boring. Try something else, like the lungs or brain, or even his dick!" I kept walking but paused my brain for a second, "Forget the last…his dick isn't inside of his body. You'd have to do that to a woman…but it might be hard, we'd have to do some studying first."

Fenris muttered something in Tevene before he actually gave me a response, though it was dry. "I will endeavor to keep you from getting bored at my method of killing someone."

I clapped, "I will help of course. I will start carrying a book around so I can jot things down so we can remember or if we want to try something new."

"Sister, Fenris was being sarcastic. So you can't tell when people are flirting nor do you get sarcasm. What was that blasted elf teaching you?"

I ignored him and continued in silence till we left the ruin. The elf was happy but the Guard was not. He even threatened me! Idiot.

I looked to the sky, it wasn't midday yet, still a few hours to go. "You think we can make it back from Sundermount before a few hours passed midday?"

Carver shrugged, as he didn't know, but Fenris nodded. "We can make it if we don't waste time."

We got to the area before the Dalish camp and was ambushed by mercenaries. It took no time between the three of us to take them down, minor scratches or cuts were all the damage we took. As I picked the pockets of the dead, I came across a few notes and a locket.

"Huh, so one down three to go."

"What are you talking about sister?"

"This was one of three Flint Company groups. The shiny archer put out a call for someone to kill them. We just took out one of them."

Fenris' back was turned to me when I called the archer shiny, so I didn't know what he was thinking. And I couldn't even begin to guess what his emotions were. Was he jealous that I no longer called him shiny?

I cut those thoughts out as I looked warily at where I could see some Dalish Scouts. I really didn't want to go anywhere near the Dalish, but I put on my big girl small clothes and continued on.

As we approached, two Hunters jumped out at us. I had both on the ground with my blades close to their throats before they could blink.

"You are fools to jump out at those around you. Just because we are _Shem_," I spat, "doesn't mean we aren't strong. Now get the fuck up and show me to your Keeper. We were requested to bring something to your leader."

I could feel the tension from Fenris who stood behind me, but he stayed quiet. No doubt he was wondering why I wasn't particularly polite with these fools. At the ruins, I had listened until I got a sense of situation. Or maybe I was totally wrong. Maybe he didn't like the Dalish either.

As we walked into camp, I ignored the looks on a few of the elves faces; instead I was alert for danger. Carver tried to give me the amulet, but I shook my head. "I wasn't the one who was paid to take it here."

When we got to Keeper, I knew this wasn't going to be easy. "We were told to bring you this amulet, and now our debt is repaid." I said stiffly as Carver handed it to the old woman.

As she looked the amulet over, she turned to me. Keepers always had a way with the Fade, and because of it, they were good at reading people. But I wasn't in the mode for it.

"You are troubled of the past," she said. "You must embrace the old for it is only through the merging of the new and the old that one may survive the trials ahead. How did you come by this amulet, human?"

"A witch saved my family, and the debt was to bring the amulet to you." I quickly told her, wanting to leave as soon as we could. There was a dog I wanted to cuddle with…or maybe a wolf if I was honest. Why were wolves my one weakness?

"I honor you for coming to me, but I'm afraid that your part in this is not done yet."

"Always something fucking hidden with the Dalish," I muttered in a language only Fenris could understand though he wasn't the only one who could hear me.

"The amulet must be taken to an alter at the top of the mountain and given a Dalish rite for the departed. Then return the amulet to me. Do this and your debt will be repaid."

I nodded and started up the mountain. "Sister, wait! How are we supposed to do this without this funeral rite?"

I wanted to tell him that I already knew it, or at least one better and truer than what the Dalish could ever hope to have, but I remained silent and continued walking.

Carver grabbed the amulet from the elf before he and Fenris followed after me. When they caught up with me, and it was out of the eye and earshot of the elves, I stopped.

"Why are you so hostile toward the Dalish?" Fenris asked curiously.

I closed my eyes and took a breath to calm myself down. "They think they are better than everyone else just because they suffered. They believe everyone else, humans and dwarves, are lower than them just because they once ruled this world. Fools. It was that arrogance that destroyed their empires. They know nothing, and when one tries to teach them the old ways, they deny the ancient knowledge believing only they could be right."

Fenris saw deeper than this, though, and I knew by the look in his eyes, the flash of black and green, that he had not only understood where I was coming from but also what the Keeper meant. "People do not want to change, nor do they want to know they are wrong. Let them drown in their ignorance."

I sighed again. Fenris was right, but I had a feeling that the people wouldn't be drowning much longer. I just hope that when it's time to save them, the past doesn't repeat itself.

We continued up the mountain a bit more until we came across a female elf playing with something that glowed and felt like…my mind couldn't grasp it, so I left it alone.

She noticed and came over to greet us, declaring that she was the First and was sent by the Keeper to guide us up the mountain and to do the Rite.

"Thanks but no thanks," I told her as I left her behind and continued on. Carver groaned. "Sister, we need someone to do the rite, so unless you know it—" he stopped and muttered, "Of course she does." But he took pity on the girl and gestured her to follow after Fenris and I.

As we walked up the rest of the mountain toward the cave, Carver introduced himself and found himself enchanted with her ramblings and naïve nature.

In no time we were attacked by the fucking undead, and it wasn't just once, it was the entire fucking time we were on the mountaintop; instead the cave, we were attacked by them and spiders.

After the first battle, though, Fenris spoke up. "A mage, is it?" he tried to keep the disgust out of his voice.

I hadn't even noticed because I was too busy being fucking pissed off. I focused on the girl.

"All Keepers know a bit of the old magic. History says that once, everyone had the gift. It is the Keeper's job to remember, to restore what we can.

"Oh, everyone had magic alright. Just in different ways," I snorted, but then heard her last words. "Are you serious about grasping at the knowledge of the past? Arlethan fell for a reason," I hinted and warned her at the same time.

Just like before, Carver tried to combat my off-putting ways by thanking her for her help. She began to babble again, and I had to admit, if I wasn't in a horrid mood, it might bring a smile to my face.

As we went through more undead, I stopped as I saw the body of an undead archer disappear. "How on earth did that thing even move its arm with an arrow sticking out of it…at that angle? It shouldn't have been able to hold an arrow let alone shot it."

"Is there a reason you are actually trying to figure out how an undead enemy is able to move?" Fenris questioned, a bit curious but mostly exasperated.

I shrugged, "I was curious and didn't expect an answer."

Around the next corner is a camp with a Hunter at it. He was very rude and mean to Merrill.

"Wait, what did you mean someone to take her off the Keeper's hands?" I asked with my eyes narrowed at the bad elf.

The Hunter looked confused. "Didn't the Keeper tell you that in exchange for helping you with the debt, you would take the bitch?"

Carver sighed. "Next time you shouldn't run off."

"Just hurry up human and finish your task, we cannot be rid of this one fast enough."

Poor Merrill, she tried to ignore what the mean elf said and make it seem as if nothing was wrong except she was leaving despite them wanting her to stay. That and she said something about saving her clan…maybe it had to do with her hunting down history. Like Fenris and I said, they fear change. Maybe she had discovered something that told them a different tale than their myths.

I wonder what they would do if they knew the truth about their gods…and there my memory went again; fuck!

I didn't say anything to her, this was her business after all. If she wanted to leave these ignorant people, I'd take her to Kirkwall. We were going back anyway.

Once we were able to get in the hole, she stopped us and apologized saying something about how this wasn't really the Dalish—the fuck it wasn't. The Dalish had once been a people so open with the world, but now? They were isolated and closed off. A part of me couldn't wait until they all found out just what had happened in their past.

Like I said, the caves only had more undead and spiders. Although, out of curiosity, I pick pocketed one of the undead and found some coin.

"How the fuck do dead people have coin?" I asked Fenris almost in hysterics. What was going on? Was my world about to come undone as some unknown truth shattered me? I had always thought the dead didn't have anything to do with the Fade, or at least the undead, but what if I was wrong? I probably was, but still…

Fenris looked at me seriously as he put his sword back on his back. "They were once people."

As his words sunk in, I calmed down nodding my head. "That makes sense. That probably means that the Fade animates them…" I trailed off in a distracted look that had Carver coming to my side and snapping his fingers in my face.

"And there, elf, we find the other part of the madness: trying to figure out stupid shit. I've seen her contemplate how elfroot grows in the winter during a battle once when she saw it coming out of the snow." Carver informed the elf that was now his sister's other watcher.

Fenris snorted. "I doubt I shall be surprised at her getting any stranger. Next she'll tell me she knows a dragon and actually converses with it."

Carver looked elsewhere but I saw his face. I couldn't tell if he was horrified or amused at the thought I would know a dragon. Hmm…I wonder just who saved him during the Blight. My eyes went to the amulet. The magic and song of the Fade that was there was familiar, and there was a part of me that made me want to kill.

A flash of memory caught me, and I saw what I had done in my hate of that particular song long ago.

I shook off these thoughts, the madness and the memories, and exited the cave. As we came out, there was a barrier blocking the way. I could dismantle it, tear it down, but this was a different kind of barrier than one created of the elements. As the little elf walked forward and said that she could open it, I knew exactly what the fuck kind of barrier it was.

"You're a blood mage." I narrowed my eyes at her as she cut her palm and opened the barrier.

Fenris was not happy about it, and my brother winced. Apparently, his dream girl is an abomination and demon summoner just wanting to happen.

"Blood magic, foolish, very foolish," Fenris informed the girl.

"But the Spirit helped, and I can control it." Merrill tried to argue.

"Ignore the tiger. Not its fault it's going to eat you. Sound advice." Sarcastic Fenris was back! Well, I wanted to make sure that the point got across. She as naïve and innocent, so I wondered if she got what Fenris was saying. I had no doubt she didn't understand sarcasm.

"You say you control it now, but girl, sooner or later, a demon or a spirit will tempt you, and you will succumb. That is the way this works. The longer you use it, the more susceptible you become."

After we let her know how we felt about blood magic and ignored her cries that it wasn't dangerous because she knew what she was doing, we went to the space where the barrier once was, and she pointed at the graves explaining a bit of the past of the Elevhan. After what happened, I don't think anyone could sleep peacefully.

It wasn't far to the damn alter, one that looked bloody familiar, and, when I got to the top I half turned and held out my hand for Carver to throw me the amulet when a shit ton of the dead were summoned.

"I fucking hate the undead," I cursed, and whatever language I used, it had the female elf looking startled. I mean really, considering who I once was, was it really hard to hope that the dead stayed dead?

I took on the Arcane Horror first. This time I would not be bested when the damn thing popped out of nowhere. I activated the Ice Runes on my blades and backstabbed the dead mage. I ducked when it turned around and shot Lightning right where my middle used to be. Fucker, I learn. As I was done, I sliced at its legs…but seeing as it floated, I don't think that helped. I rolled when the damn thing tried to kick me. The undead were constantly surprising me.

Fenris helped finish it off, and we went to help Carver take care of the others trying to get to the elf mage. Enemies always went after the mages and the rogues.

Once they were dead, I held up a hand for the amulet. Carver tossed it to me, and I put it on the altar. With a heavy heart, I reached into my soul for the magic that was there. As I gathered the magic and turned it into a blade, I spoke with words I hadn't said in so long...ones that I had only thought to say for the two of them that I left in the temple.

["Falon'Din guided you into the deep sleep with assurances of rest, now she guides you back into waking with her voice."] I spoke with words so old that my tongue had trouble saying them. The blade was charged with the magic of the words, and I stabbed the amulet with the magic. I hoped whatever I was releasing wasn't bad.

This was the original way to wake those from the ancient sleep. For in the beginning, Falon'Din created it because sometimes the loneliness was too much, and she couldn't bare it. First it was because she had no one; the two who said they would stay, left. Later on, her lover sometimes left her for decades at a time, searching for knowledge and ways to help in his own twisted, unique way. Soon the sleep was used for others to heal, to wait out time, for whatever they wished.

The others were tired of depending on her for these things, so they created their own. No doubt that is the one the female elf knew. She had given them so much—ways to change bodies if one had become too damaged, boring, or useless in some way; how to awaken from a "reincarnation" they called it; and even how to fleshly exist—and yet they tossed her away when she was no longer of use only to pick her back up when they needed her.

I knew the ritual worked because flashes of light, magic, and a song of the Fade came out of the amulet. I stepped back to stand with Carver and Fenris flanking me. Merrill ignored me, though I could tell she was damn well curious, and rushed to stand in front of me so she could greet the one who came out.

I saw half the upper half of the body before the woman in the amulet fully emerged. The elf threw herself to her knees, worshipping the woman rising from the amulet.

Flemeth rose from the amulet and I tried to control myself. She addressed the elf first, but I snorted when she said the last part. "The People tend to fall to their knees too quickly."

"Isn't that why were in this mess in the first place?" I questioned with a bit of bitterness to my tone. Looking at the old woman, I felt another confliction. I wasn't stupid; I could feel the Fade on her. Her song was different than the six of us who had once been, but her song was similar to the others that had been. That was when I knew from the confliction that I didn't hate Flemeth, just what resided in her.

"My, my, my, I expected you with your family when they ran. Did not your Master let you go?" the old woman called to me.

I narrowed my eyes. "We were stuck with your daughter, actually. The only reason as to why you would be in that amulet is because she had the Warden kill you. Now what did you do to cause Morrigan to turn on you? What was written in your Grimore?" I countered with my own questions.

Flemeth cackled. "Apparently the girl thought she knew everything from reading a few pages. She did not understand what she read. It is only the willing that carry the burden, after all."

I groaned as I understood what she was saying. "All this because she thought you were going to take over her body? Why didn't she ask me? You don't steal bodies old woman; _she _implants shit. A parasite," I snarled, my hate rising up threatening to overtake me—again.

"Did you know?" Flemeth simply asked, and I truly wondered if Morrigan had asked me, would I have responded to the question with a yes.

"Is there a purpose you keep on existing?" I tried to keep my voice neutral, but she wasn't fooled.

"Things are never simple. I have a purpose, and I still live because it needs to be done." The Witch of the Wilds paused as she looked over my companions, starting with Fenris.

"The chains are gone, but are you really free?" Flemeth then turned to me, "It seems even when alone you aren't. How many have you found so far?"

I didn't want to answer, but I found myself doing so. "The Wolf's Second is dead," was the only thing I said as I refused to look at her. This as all her fault. All that bitch's fault.

"Regrets are something I know all too well; do not let it consume you, child. It seems, though, that you are still as blind as ever. Did you know that when connected with the sleep, death, or the in-between, we sometimes find our spirits…wandering with only a piece looking for a home?"

I didn't know what she meant by that, nor why she looked at Carver, but when the memories decided to return, I'd get a flash of her meaning, but it would be gone. That is by the time the memories came back I remembered.

"Besides, destiny awaits us both, dear girl. Before I go, a word of advice. We stand on a precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. A constant event it seems. Watch for that moment and do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly."

"Cheap advice from a dragon," I looked at her darkly. "What do I do?" I asked the old woman that had once tried to help me prepare for something that tore me apart. It was Flemeth who had given me Morrigan and knowledge to help balance out the Magister's mistake.

"A cross I must bear. I'd advise become a dragon as I did, but that isn't your path; _remember_ that when the time comes." Flemeth shrugged. "We will meet again, but remember, there is a reason why _you_ are here now, and you must gather everything at your disposal because the time will come when you must step out of the shadows and spread those wings, little Death Raven."

When we returned to the Dalish camp, the Keeper was given the amulet, announced our debt was paid, and tried to convince the blood mage to stay. But the oppression and lack of support was too much for her. A part of me saw myself in the girl, and I felt for her, but the blood magic was something that I was wary of—especially with how she seemed so blind to the danger. Maybe if she operated with cautions and awareness, then I would be more supportive. But that day hadn't come yet.

It didn't take long to get back to Kirkwall. It had taken a few hours longer than I had wanted to, but that was okay. We still had time to get Merrill settled in and pay a visit to the Chantry like I wanted too.

When we got into the Chantry square, I saw my brother's group. I handed Hawke the letter from the Magistrate's evil mage son and quickly told him what occurred. He agreed to handle what came next; after all, we did have proof of what happened with the handwritten confession letter.

After we exchange a quick what-did-you-do (a quick hello to the female elf), he asked me if he could borrow Fenris for tonight. "You already have Carver, Aveline is on duty, and I would like another warrior. I'll trade you Varric. I have something to do with Isabella tonight in the Hightown square. She arranged for a duel, and the guy will probably double cross her."

I also knew what he was saying. I'd be left with helping Anders, and he didn't want them near each other. I sighed, stomped my foot, and turned my back on him. I ignored him. Hawke didn't know what to do, and it wasn't until Carver explained to him why I was acting this way did he understand it wasn't because I didn't want to give Fenris up (though I really didn't).

"Brother, Fenris doesn't belong to sister," _yet_, I thought, "so she can't say that he can go with you. Ask him yourself. By ignoring you, it means she is upset with you and probably won't talk with you for awhile."

Hawke blinked and apologized to Fenris. "I didn't mean it like that. Will you go with me tonight?"

Fenris looked at me for a second (I had no idea what went through his mind) before he nodded. "Good. I'll meet you here before midnight." My brother paused for a second before adding as a second thought, "You've had a pretty taxing day; if you want to rest, I can always stop by and pick you up."

Fenris nodded before he went off to his vandalized mansion, and I turned to the other elf and my other brother. "I want to go in the chantry for a bit. Merrill, brother can show you around if you wish. It'd be interesting to look at."

Before we went inside though, I handed my brother the flyer from the shiny archer. "When you were out, did you kill any of these bastards?" I asked, hoping he didn't. When he replied negatively, I told him I'd see him later. When we went into the Chantry, Brother may have taken the elf to look around, but I knew he kept an eye on me. I spent a good hour or more talking with the Grand Cleric about the shiny archer, who was a Prince, and named Sebastian. It was very enlightening to say the least. He was just sworn in only to break his vows. Maybe I had some hope after all. To put family first, before all others, was a man I respected.

We left and settled Merrill in the Alienage near our hovel—it took a while, but we still had enough time to meet with Anders. I wondered if I'd find out what that Fade scent clinging to Anders was, but I also hoped that something wouldn't go horribly wrong. Who was I kidding?

~Wolf and Raven~


	5. DA:II Part 3 (Act 1)

**Moon Says**: This has been sitting on my computer for a month or more. Since it took so bloody long to finish writing, I decided to post two chapters instead of one! Then I'm on my way to finishing **_Spy's Love_**.

**Posted:** 11 April 2015

**Pages**: 20

**The Wolf and the Raven**

**~Chapter 5: DAII Part 3 (Act 1)~**

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I asked the female elf we just took from her home. One that had my brother following after her like a lost puppy. To be honest, I don't know how I felt about this, but time will tell.

Merrill nodded, "I'll be fine. Besides, there is an artifact I need to get from the clan before I truly settle in. But you will come visit?"

Both Carver and I nodded as we promised to visit her and left the little hovel not unlike our own. As we left the tiny building, we heard a woman pleading with someone to help find her son. I didn't let Carver leave Merrill's place as we listened. It was clear that it was a Templar the elf woman was talking to. Once Carver realized it too, he grabbed a hold of my arm. I loved that he was trying to protect me.

Once we were sure the Templar had left, we walked out the door. It only took one look at the devastation on the elf woman's face for me to curse. I hit my head on Carver's chest, armor and all, causing the man to chuckle.

"You can't help yourself can you, Sister?" he asked through his chuckling.

I groaned. "If I don't help them, who else will? I am the one they call when no else listens to their cries."

Carver's face flashed a look I didn't want to decipher as I turned from him toward the woman to our right. I just hopped I didn't regret getting involved with another mage situation.

"Serrah, will you tell us what's going on with your son? I think I can help," was the invitation to the woman to spend an hour talking with us about how her son needed help because his magic was growing into something dangerous. She tried to get him to go to the Circle, but the brat ran off. She mentioned a Templar that could help along with the boy's absent father.

After we left the woman promising that we would look into it and find her son, I actually wanted, for the first time, to drown myself in alcohol. Fuck me, Kirkwall was going to be my grave. I hadn't even been here two days.

~Wolf and Raven~

"So what kind of things did you see when you were with the Wardens during the Blight?" Varric asked as we left the disgusting tavern and headed for Hightown. I would have asked Carver's new girlfriend to go with us, but I really don't want to be around anymore magic in the Chantry than I have to be. Anders could be discreet when he wanted to, but I didn't know much about the Elf girl. Besides, she said that there was something she needed to get from her Clan.

I bet that artifact, if the Dalish were giving it to her, was the thing they wanted to be rid of. It must have been something that she was kicked out for trying to restore. For Carver's sake, I'd see if I could help her with it later on. When I had some free time.

"We cleaned out a Circle of Magi first; it had become overrun with demons, shades, abominations, undead—I detest those things. One day I am going to make good on my promise to letting the world burn when I see the damn things. Maybe if we burned the entire world down, there won't be any more dead to become undead."

I thought it was a brilliant idea, but the others didn't think so.

"Elissa, that's the Hero of Ferelden, decided that she wanted her revenge on the bastard who murdered her family real quick, so she had me and her future husband on a separate team to speed up the process of getting the allies from the Warden Treaties. Although, that didn't happen until after we went to your ancestral home. I stayed in Orzammar trying to drum up support and speed up the election process, and she went hunting in the Deep Roads for Branka. That bitch was crazy, I hear. Then there was a mess with trying to decide if it was the right thing to do to turn people into Golems. Glad I wasn't part of that." I told the dwarf as we were almost out of Lowtown.

He begged me to continue.

"After that, we separated. I went to Redcliffe, and she went to the Dalish. I dislike the Deep Roads and the Dalish, so I wasn't going anywhere near the two. Of course, I was wondering if it was better to deal with Werewolves and giant ass trees trying to kill you than more fucking undead, demons possessing little boys, and the like."

Varric wanted to know about the Werewolves. "Apparently, the Keeper was a vindictive asshole. He decided that it was his right to punish some humans who raped his daughter, killed his grandson, and murdered some more of his people with the curse of being a Werewolf."

"You don't agree?" Varric countered, interested to know my opinions.

I shook my head. "I would have done worse to them, but it was the fact that the Curse lived on past the men who hurt his family that made me disagree. But it is done. She had him undo the curse and gained some Elf allies. Me, I was killing some skeletons and was part of a Blood Magic ritual that killed the mother of the boy who was stupid enough to let a demon in."

Varric stopped us right there. "You used Blood Magic? How is Broody going to handle this?"

"I didn't cast the spell," I corrected his thinking. "I just went into the Fade. I feel bad about the mother though…the only thing she was guilty of was being an asshole to Alistair because she thought he was her husband's bastard." I stopped and took a breath for a second, gathering my thoughts. "I respect a woman who is willing to die for her family."

"So why did the boy let a demon in?" Varric questioned moving on to other points.

I responded right back. "He's father had been poisoned by the very Blood Mage that helped me get rid of the demon. Said mage was sent by Howe or Logain, whoever, to get Eamon out of the way so there would not be anymore war or arguments over the throne. But we had to go find some Sacred Ashes to heal the old man. We went after a scholar of the Chantry, Brother Geno-something, and we find him as a guest, really a tortured prisoner, of some insane dragon worshipping cult in the Frostback Mountains. They were protecting the Ashes."

"We heard rumors of the Sacred Ashes being used, but no one has come forth saying anything official. In fact, the way I hear it, that Brother has gone missing. What happened to him?" Varric asked as we were just five minutes from the Chantry.

"Before we left, I threw a knife into his head," I replied quiet calmly, like what I did wasn't any different than saying, 'oh look, I've stepped on the ground.'

"You, what?" sputtered the dwarf who, once again, stopped walking. "Why'd you kill him?"

I shrugged. "I don't like cultist people. I had no doubt that the place would be defiled by people, Chantry and everyone else. So I killed him. But I have no doubt those bastards will find it. That Bard was too religious for my tastes. Then, we usurped a throne, put two Grey Wardens on it, killed an Archdemon, and then went to Amarantine to find one talking Darkspawn waging war against another." I summed up and continued walking on.

"Then you came here," Varric stated the obvious. "Some of that shit doesn't sound real, but you're not the type to exaggerate."

"Nope, that's your job, Varric," I informed him as we jogged up the Chantry steps. Anders was waiting for us.

When he saw me, some of the tension left his body. "I was afraid you wouldn't show. I've heard a lot about your brother, but I was hoping you would be here. I saw my friend go in a little while ago; I was going to wait a few more minutes before we go in just to be safe. Do you sense anything? Any Templars?"

I could tell that Anders was hoping this wasn't a trap. I reached out, trying to see if I sense any Lyrium, and I did. A massive load from someone near the Hightown estates where Fenris lived. I could tell from the surge he was fighting.

I shook my head at Anders. "I sense Fenris over there playing," I pointed toward his stolen mansion, "but it's blocking out all other Lyrium from my senses. If they are in there, they haven't dosed up for a bit."

Anders nodded. And since we had a few more minutes before he wanted to go in, Varric tried to question me some more. "So what's this about talking Darkspawn?"

Anders seemed startled. "You told him about the Father?"

I sighed. "In passing, but I mentioned Mother too."

"Mother and Father? Explain," Varric demanded; he probably didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"An Emissary, which if you didn't know is a Mage Darkspawn, somehow got a hold of Warden Blood, and it made him smart and able to talk. The fucker started to experiment and gave the ability to other Darkspawn…including the Archdemon he woke up that started the Blight that just happened. Other than that, I don't know much. Anders was the one that meet him in that Mine. He would know more. The only thing I really know is that he fucked up when he 'awakened' a Broodmother, and they started a war with each other. Or rather she did. We got caught in the middle. I think she used her First to throw your asses in the Fade," I chuckled as I looked at Anders, he groaned.

"You're the one who killed both of them. Nate told me some of what happened, but I probably don't know more than you." Anders countered my statement. "It will have to wait for another time as we need to head in."

Anders gave me the lead and everyone followed me exactly. We were sneaking, and I was a Crow. Apparently, this means I'm the expert and needed to be followed.

I focused too much on not being seen that I didn't try to sense things out. If I had, I would have known his friend wasn't a mage anymore.

When we got to the right side balcony, I saw a robe wearing man standing toward the bookshelf. But something was off about him…didn't Anders say we were freeing a mage?

"Anders, I thought you said your friend was a mage?" I questioned as I kept to the shadows near the end of the wall.

Anders' magic started beating like a heart then. I could feel his distress as he took in his friend, and with the way the man spoke…he was made Tranquil.

Even though I wasn't technically a mage…I don't know what I'd do if I lost that connection.

"Karl? No, please, Maker," Anders pleaded with his God, hoping against hope that he was wrong—that I was wrong—and Karl wasn't a Tranquil.

I heard them first; Templars could _never _sneak around. These were quiet though. As they came up, my daggers were out before they made it up the side stairs and into view. When Anders saw them, I felt his magic prepare to explode, and that feeling of the Fade came back stronger.

That was when I knew. I had felt that particular Fade song before back in Amarantine. I had told Elissa she should have let me send the Spirit back! And now…Anders…Maker help me, I prayed Anders wasn't lost yet. Maybe I could save him.

Before his magic could explode and alert the entire fucking world we were here, I leaped into action. Using the training Zev beat into me, sometimes, I don't think I killed anyone as fast as I did those Templars. I appeared behind then and tugged their helmets back and downwards, exposing their necks. Their throats were silt, and before their bodies fell to the ground, I had Anders shoved up against the wall. That was when his magic exploded, and I felt the Spirit once known as Justice come out.

"What you have done, _Justice_, is an abomination to your soul. Mark my words, you have destroyed not only yourself but Anders as well. You better pray that I can separate the two of you before you fuck each other up too much," I hissed at him.

"Raven, we've got a problem. That dual your brother was going to moderate has spilled into the Chantry," Varric interrupted and warned me as he started shooting off some arrows down below providing backup and some type of cover for our allies on the lower floor.

I gave Carver and Varric a signal to go down below and help. The faster that was over, the less attention it would grab. I turned back to Anders' body. "Give Anders back control or so help me, I'll send you both into the Void!" I shoved him again, and, though the wall stopped the body from moving, I knew it hurt.

As I backed away, Anders had regained control, and he looked like he was scared I was going to…leave him. He was afraid that what he and Justice had done pushed me too far (he knew my stance on Spirits and Demons quite well), and I wouldn't want anything to do with him. While it was confusing as to why he was so worried, I pushed the thought away. If I was smart, I wouldn't stay near him. But once upon a time…he was my friend. And he had saved my life a few times, especially during the Siege on Amarantine.

"Mora," he tried but I cut him off faster than he could blink. "Clean up that mess," I pointed to his friend, "We will talk later."

The Warden Mage seemed relieved at my promise of a later, but then he turned to his friend, I could see the darkness start to take him.

I shook my head and jumped on the railing. I was going to jump down and kill the few that my brother's group hadn't. Varric had already gotten down there as well, but before I jumped, I looked to the Templar's bodies and then back at Karl. It wouldn't do for a mage to have been the one killing. Which was why I didn't burn the bodies.

I tossed Anders my quick kill knife. He got the picture then: no more magic.

I jumped down on top of a guy the whore was running toward. As my feet shoved him face first into the Chantry floor, I heard his back break and his spine crack. My blades were in him before we hit the ground. I don't think he suffered…much.

Quickly, I took care of the other two left. As I stalked them, I knew instantly that they were both warriors, I made motions for everyone to leave. I could sneak away better than they could. In my haste to end this quickly before more attention was drawn, I hadn't taken into account the noise they would have made nor if we had an audience already.

I was too focused on the two warriors in front of me. Both were idiots—they didn't wear helmets. Although, that wouldn't stop me as it didn't earlier with those Templars. I tossed one of my daggers across the room, and it lodged instead in the two handed warrior's face. I was on the other one kicking him in the balls and ramming the bone in his noise into his brain before he could focus on me. He had been too distracted by me killing his other comrades. Well, I do so like entrances.

I wasn't even breathing heavy when I stood up and ripped my dagger from the other ones' face. I looked around to make sure they were all dead—I didn't sense any life from anyone on the bottom floor of the Chantry. Anders was gone, and there were three dead bodies on the right second floor balcony. As I turned around to head toward the door, I could hear people starting to wake up, and I felt something on the left side bottom floor, deep in the shadows toward the back of the room.

I looked up, reading my weapons to finish this last threat, but I stopped when I saw who it was.

It was the shiny Prince. My breathing stopped. He…had seen everything. My face must have shown something, shock, horror, I don't know, but whatever it was, it had the ex-rogue hesitating. Sebastian had a bow in his hands, and it was strung with an arrow in place aimed at my heart.

Was he going to kill me?

I think maybe I looked vulnerable because the look on Fenris' face when he spun me around was not one I expected.

Fenris' face softened and tugged me to the door, "Come, amatus, we must leave before others arrive."

I nodded and let him take me away. Just as we were closing the door, I know the two of us saw him. Fenris paused for a second, his body tensed, before he closed the doors and sped off in the night with me. Varric and Isabela would have gotten my brothers away, and seeing as they weren't here, the two male Hawkes trusted me with Fenris.

When we were upstairs in the main bedroom of his stolen home, Fenris turned to me curious. "What had you so spooked in the Chantry?" his voice was soft as if he knew I was still shaken up, though I knew I wasn't showing it.

I snorted. "You know exactly why. _You_ saw him as well," I looked Fenris in the eyes and could see mine reflected. The black and red were back. "It was the look on his face…as if I had disappointed him…he was going to shoot me," I whispered, afraid that if I said these things out loud, it would make the real.

I didn't want them to be real. Honestly, I didn't want to be so conflicted, so tugged between the two selves of mine.

When Fenris responded, it was the first time that he actually spoke to me clear with the memories in his mind. "What did you expect to happen when you found us again?" it was he who snorted this time. "We aren't the same as we were. It is our punishment for waiting to not leave you and hurting you, and we will have to live with it. The archer wouldn't have shot you; even if he fights the memories, he wouldn't have hurt you. In this life, I hate magic and mages, but I would never harm you intentionally. In this life, the two of us are broken, remember this my [fragile little Din'an]," Fenris whispered the last bit in our original language as he cupped my cheek. I leaned into his hand, and even though he had armor on, I kissed the area near my lips.

A moment passed between us, a moment where two old souls were reunited for the first time in centuries. I could see every emotion the First had felt for his charge's lover. Something they had never dared to express for more than a few seconds of touching or looks because of the flame they would ignite. A flame that would burn everyone around them. A flame that they had forbidden themselves from setting alight. But now? Now…there was no Wolf. No one between them.

Then the memories started to fade, and we broke apart. Fenris turned away to get himself under control, and I slid down to the floor and used the wall nearest me as support.

After a few minutes I spoke up, my voice was soft and almost silent. I was afraid of what had just happened. I had been filled with a longing and love that was so freaking deep it frightened me to the core. Almost as much as being alone did. If I felt that, I knew Fenris was feeling just the same intensity if not worse. I didn't want to scare him away. I think I would truly die if he left me.

He had been the second to come find me when I was lost, forgotten, and alone. He had been the first who had sparked something in me that I couldn't name. I had been so consumed with being not being alone anymore that these emotions didn't spark right away for my First or my Second, but it only took time. Time where they never left me; time where the proved to me something I had been afraid, desperate to not know: that maybe they cared more that my lover did. That Wolf always left, but he would always come back. He knew what the separation did to me. But he only gave his Guardians as a substitution, a way to get rid of his guilt.

Maybe I had been a clingy bitch. Maybe I had always been a frightened little girl. But I was loved, I knew that. I never doubted that. Even when my lover bedded that whore…he came back to me, he still loved me even though he thought I betrayed him.

I don't think we were ever good for each other, but you can't tell love no.

"Did you want to wait a few hours and then take me home? Or we could sneak through Darktown if you want to go now?" my question was hesitant, and damn it, I knew I sounded vulnerable and scared. Maybe he didn't want me anymore. Fenris was a wild animal, and I had a sinking feeling I was backing him into a corner. "That is," I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I could feel the hole I was digging for myself getting deeper, "if you want to be alone."

I pulled up my knees, laid my arms across them, and buried my head. It probably would have done more good to bury it underground…with the rest of my body.

Fenris didn't say anything; I didn't even hear him breathing. It made me think he had already left. This Elf was silent and sneaky enough I couldn't catch his movements most of the time.

After ten minutes, he did speak, and what he said surprised me. "Do you wish to leave?"

I silently choked on a sob. How could this man I have known for a full day now, do this to me? It was just like Sebastian. We had a connection in our past, those freaking memories, and now they were consuming me to the point I wasn't sure which was which. I shouldn't want someone this fast; I shouldn't care for someone this fast; I shouldn't be able to be broken so easily by someone this fast. Someone shouldn't have this much power over me this fast.

But was it fast? We had known each other for centuries. For lifelines before and after flesh took us apart and brought us together. I knew so much about that man, but this one was new. But they seemed to be so similar. But was I? Was that why Fenris kept on saying I was strange, confusing? Had I changed so much from the woman he had once loved?

Before I came to Kirkwall, before Fenris and Sebastian, I had been fierce and not easily broken. And now I find myself on my knees so much just trying not to break down. One day and already Fenris and Sebastian have taken me apart and almost destroyed me.

I wasn't sure I could survive much more of this.

I could feel in the Lyrium on his skin and taste his emotions on the air. His aura was screaming at me that he was feeling the confliction as well—the fear.

But whatever was happening, we always needed to be honest with one another. I…we never lied to each other before, and Maker/Creator help me, we weren't going to start now. I would always tell him what he asked for and what he didn't so I was never unsure of where we stood.

I wonder if he felt the same as me, if the thought of living without me tore him asunder?

"I thought that you might have had too much of me tonight. Master said I should be taken in small doses. That's why I asked…I mean, after all this time by yourself, I didn't think you wanted to be surrounded—"

Fenris moved, and I shut down my rambling. I tensed my body, bracing myself for anything negative that was going to come. Instinctively, I knew he wouldn't hit me or toss me out, but the fear was so real—it was overwhelming.

I felt his body come to my level, and he waited for me to lift my head. So he wasn't going to touch me, that wasn't a good sign. I was pushing him too far with my neediness. I needed to get control of myself. I was strong before I came to Kirkwall. And yet, I always seemed to find myself letting fear consume me when it came to _them_.

"I don't want to push you too far," I mumbled as I raised my head slowly, "You're so damaged, and I'm not helping with my fears and shit."

Fenris locked eyes with me, and I noticed the left was black and the right was his normal blue. "I think out of the two of us, you're the one whose damaged the most. You are so afraid of pushing me away that you're letting the fear consume you. How much longer till you give in and break down, I wonder?" he murmured the last bit as he looked thoughtful.

"I have never had someone so…linked and worried about me before. It's different and, I'll admit, a bit unsettling. But I will be honest, I kind of like having someone need me so much, though having to reassure you may become tiring." I controlled my flinching as he paused and shoved down any thoughts the fear produced.

"A compromise then," Fenris proposed. "I will fulfill the needs you have of me if you focus and command your…slips. I know you will not be perfect as the mind is a delicate organ and most of the time we cannot control it. In return, I will try and not lash out when my anger consumes me. When that happens, I may hurt you with my words."

Yes, this was him. The one from the memories. This Wolf always tried to bargain with me. It was better than ordering me to do something because while he, dare I say it, craved my submissiveness, there were some things he didn't like doing.

He didn't start bargaining till after he had snapped a few times at me. Either lashing out at my neediness or actually demanding I do something in his anger over something else—his words either way were never pretty. He was Angst incarnate for a reason. One whose Angst lived in rage and anger most of the time.

"I can't promise, but I can try. Most of the time it only seems to come out in extremes when we are alone," I noted. "But I will try and keep things like me getting upset because I thought I was walking around acting like I held your leash."

I froze when I said those words, my eyes widening in horror. I think I just destroyed whatever we had between us.

Fenris cocked his head to the side before he smirked. "I think I'm the one that holds _your_ leash."

I choked on my laughter for a few seconds before they dissolved into giggles. "You're getting good at this; although, really Fenris, you need to be careful with your words. Some people might take them in ways you don't mean."

The Elf only raised an eyebrow, "And who said I didn't mean it that way?"

I stopped breathing. I could have taken that a sexual way. So fucking confusing, you dick!

Fenris teased me with another smirk as if he knew what I was thinking. "Come, you need your rest. I'm sure your brother has much planned for us later today. To bed with you, Mors parva caducus meum."

A smile makes it way to my lips after his words as I stand. I head toward the bed on the other side of the room. I opened a pouch on the side of my left leg. Inside was a shirt I stole from one of my brothers this morning as we got ready—I honestly didn't know if we were going to be sleeping in the woods or not. As I turned left toward the little blocked off area between the wall and the bed—hidden to Fenris' sight—I start talking off my leather armor, the daggers first. I titled my head and looked over my shoulder at him after removing my weapons and leaning the against the side of the bed. He's just standing there near the wall just looking at me, waiting to see what I was going to do. Fenris' face showed nothing as he watched me toss my corset top behind me and pull the shirt over my body. I wasn't one hundred percent sure the wall covered my skin showing, but I didn't care. My pants were next. When stripped completely, I only sent him a coy smirk and asked, "Are you coming, Bellator meum?

~Wolf and Raven~

Lucky for us, we woke up with enough time to get dressed and have time to spare. As much I as liked waking up in someone's arms other than my brother's, I really didn't want either of them to walk in on it. Fenris and I had stayed perfectly nonsexual during the night. I wasn't sure if I was disappointed with that or not. But I couldn't complain because, after all, we did sleep together. Fenris allowed me that.

I did find out he wore nothing under his armor. I didn't see anything, but I had heard, after he took off the armor, put something on. I noticed he actually had some cloth like pants. I wondered why I was surprised.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that the memory-Fenris liked to sleep in the nude if he wasn't sleeping in his armor? Not sure though. He could have just put those on for me.

We still had time so I, under Fenris' watchful eye (after he gave permission of course) drew some warding runes around the mansion. I tied them to him, so he would know if someone entered, especially if he wasn't paying attention—like sleeping.

"Can you feel the wards like I'm able to?" Fenris wondered after I finished.

"Do you want me to? I could be tied to them if you wanted…maybe less than you are." I handed him a stone. "If you keep this on you, you can still sense the wards even if you are not in the mansion. Though the limit would probably be the Wounded Coast or the Dalish camp. If I tie myself into them, I'd probably only be able to sense if they are triggered if I'm _in _the immediate area."

I paused as I let him take in what I said. "That is, if you want me to."

"You will be staying here some times, right?" Fenris shrugged as if it didn't really matter if I had access or not.

If sleeping with the man didn't tell me, then this right here told me he was starting to, if not already, trust me.

I blame it on the memories. I wondered…did the ritual that Danarius did awaken him like the one on me did? After all, both were based on the Reemergence Ritual. So it stands to reason that the memories were a result of that. But because both were botched, memory retrieval wasn't stable. I wonder what it would take for use to remember it all.

It was probably sex. I say this because sex usually is the answer to everything—or so my Master taught me. I had to wonder…if it was the answer to everything, why was he intent on keeping me a virgin?

Confusion thy emotion is my life.

My brothers take that moment to knock; I don't move. This was Fenris' place, so I wasn't going to answer the door. Instead, I started to think about the day I was going to have. I needed to find that wayward boy-mage, fun, fun.

"I see you got out okay, Sister," Carver looked me up and down making sure I was truly okay. Then he cast a suspicious look at my elf, but I rolled my eyes.

Hawke was just watching all three of carefully. That reminds me, what was he and his group doing in the Chantry last night?

"So what drove you into the Chantry to disrupt my illegal mage heist?" I raised an eyebrow at my other brother. Carver and Fenris both snorted at the name I gave my operation with Anders.

Hawke shrugged. "Isabela was set up, and her attackers went to the Chantry. How were we to know that this shit would be at the same time as the thing with Anders? By the way, what happened with Anders? Did you get that mage out?"

I rubbed my face and heard my other brother sigh. So Carver didn't tell Hawke about it.

"I really don't want to talk about it. It was a disaster." I closed my eyes and leaned against the nearest wall. In that moment, I felt so old.

"So that means you won't be talking with Anders or getting the Deep Road maps?" Hawke pushed.

When I opened my eyes, I had to fight back tears. "Anders?" I scoffed and turned away from the three males in front of me. "I don't know if he is the Anders I knew. Who knew a few months could—" I trailed off, lost in memories. The last time I saw him, I told him goodbye, he joked around, and I kissed Nate. Besides saying goodbye to each other, we were happy.

Now, everything has changed.

"Why must the world hurt us this way?" I whispered. "It's always something."

"Sister?" Carver called to me, trying to bring my attention back to him.

I shook my head. "I can't bear to look at Anders at this moment. After everything we went through, after surviving all that shit in Amarantine, he goes and…." I shook my head again.

"You did promise him…" Carver reminded me.

"Did I say when?" I snapped back a counter to his reminder. "Besides, I think a possibly out of control mageling needs my attention more than Anders. His mother mentioned dreams, and I know what he is, but I can't remember much about his gift other than it is turning into a curse right about now. Either way, he is more dangerous than a stupid man that needs reassurance." I turned to my other brother, trying to push Anders out of my mind. "What do you have planned for today, luv?"

Hawke looked at me for a moment before he found whatever he was looking for. I wasn't as good as Zev or even Leliana when it came to reading people. Carver I could understand—we were as connected as real Twins were. But Hawke? My actual twin? Nope. Hawke and I weren't like real twins. Even Carver and Bethany were closer than Hawke and me. Growing up, the two of use couldn't be more apart than a Mage and Templar. Although, we were family and even if we weren't close, we still remember our family connection. In the last few days, I had seen that he was concerned for me. He just wasn't as dramatic or overprotective as Carver was. Hawke had a laid back attitude. Always had.

"I figured I could join in on finding this out of control, abet lost, mage Carver told me about last night when we made our escape from the Chantry. Varric did want me to tell you that late night meetings in the Chantry have never been that _like _that before. At least, the ones he's heard about."

I rolled my eyes trying not to laugh. That dwarf was something else. "Fine. Let's meet the absent father and then head to the Gallows to find this Templar, unless of course you want to split up? Might be faster," I proposed.

Craver spoke up then. "Brother and Fenris can take the Gallows—"

I stared him down. "Please, like either of them, let alone you, know your way around Templars. If we split up, _I'll _take the Gallows."

Carver was about to argue when Fenris asked me a question. "Do you not fear being taken into the Circle if they find out you have magic? Even if the magic is…different," Fenris was curious I could tell.

"I've actually been to quite a few Circles in my time. Even the best Templar and Seeker magic detectors couldn't find magic in me—only Lyrium. In fact, the only time a Templar ever chased after me for being an illegal mage was when two saw me doing magic in the middle of nowhere." I stopped as I remembered what happened next. I had been so close to _them_ that I had fought back. I just ran toward the Temple I knew was hidden nearby And my single mindedness cost me someone I love and could never replace.

Fenris' eyes narrowed as he took in my words and tried to connect some dots, but he didn't have enough information to do so.

I cleared my thoughts and focused on the three men in front of me. Another thought suddenly popped in my head. "Maybe Fenris and I should stay away from addicts. The Lyrium inside of us is very noticeable. Wouldn't want them to try and drain us, yeah?" I tried to joke at the end but no one seemed to think it was funny.

"Let's just go," I moaned dramatically at the mean people in front of me. I was out the door before I finished speaking. "You all so mean," I muttered as I walked quickly to Lowtown.

I ignored any amused noises coming from the males in my company as I was out the door and keeping a pace that had me within their eyesight but a bit away from them. By the time I got to Lowtown, I was tired of being upset at them. Most of all, I was restless. With my Master, there was always something that demanded our attention; Death always called to us. Now, I was itching for it.

I entered the marketplace first, but I had no clue as to who this guy was. As I pondered on which of these peddlers could be the absent, no good (doesn't deserve the name) father, my group caught up with me.

"How hard is it to figure out which of these guys is our target? I mean, how hard can it be to identify an Antivan? There are _maybe_ two merchants in all of Kirkwall that are Antivan, let alone in Lowtown. Besides, aren't you supposed to be an expert on Antivans?" my brother asked, and I couldn't decide if he was mocking me or not.

I took a few laps around the marketplace, and as I did, Hawke spent a few minutes talking with some lady who just got married though he knew before due to his work with the Iron something. Mercenaries, apparently. I didn't care, so I ignored them and focused on two Antivan merchants, who coincidentally, were selling side by side.

Carver was getting impatient and bored. "Let's just ask both of them!"

When he made a move to do so, Fenris and I both grabbed an arm. "Fool," I hissed at him. "We do not know this man, who is to say he won't bolt if we talk with the wrong one? Besides, I don't trust some shitty man who abandons his own child."

Hawke had come to us then and froze along with Carver. Before they could ask me exactly who I was talking about, Varric did so.

"You sound like you got some baggage there, Black Rose," Varric commented, no doubt wanting an interesting story.

I shrugged at his question but wondered why he called me the flower that means death. Did this mean that this was my nickname from him? "What can I say? I have issues with Daddy Hawke. Now that you are here, how about you work that magical tongue of yours and figure out which merchant is our guy."

As soon as I said that, Varric's eyes gleamed. "Watch and learn, little bird, watch and learn."

And watch I did. Within ten minutes, he had both merchants eating out of his hands. Not only that, but he got the information we wanted.

Apparently, the idiot didn't want to help his son then and now, besides donate sperm, so he pawned him off to some ex-Templar, no doubt a junkie. So if we wanted to find the damn kid, we would have to wait till nightfall to find the Templar with a (supposed) conscious.

"What do you think? Go see the other Templar in the Gallows or wait until dark?" Hawke asked my opinion as we went toward the Lowtown Tavern. Once we were out of sight of the asshole father, I told my brother my opinion.

"Did all of you not hear me this morning? About Templars and addicts? This guy, Samson, is a Templar that got kicked out. Do you know how much illegal Lyrium costs?"

Varric whistled as he realized where I was going. "And Broody here is a Lyrium magnet. At least the Templars in the Gallows will be regularly supplied. How about we split up here? Hawke, Anders, Isabela, and I can go after the kid and this Templar while the rest of you go play with the Bone Pits. There is a guy who owns the mines and needs some help."

Hawke shook his head. "First we deal with this. If the kid is a danger as you say, sister, then he needs our attention now. Maybe after tonight and the information Samson gives us we can go our separate ways. "

Good enough plan, I supposed.

"I'm going to the Gallows," I said as I bypassed the building where the dwarf of our group sleept. "Who's coming?"

~Wolf and Raven~

Neither Fenris nor Carver thought it was a good idea for me to be in the Gallows, but I waved them off. As we came into the center of the Gallows, I looked around. There were a few merchants, but to the left was a group of Templars and I made my way over to them.

"Excuse me, Ser Templar, I was hoping you could point me in the direction of the Templar Trask, please." I gave my most innocent, calm, and maybe adorable voice with a matching face. Though I think the rogue outfit made it a bit difficult.

It did, and a few Templars started to get loud and a bit fussy. Idiot, I did _not _want all this attention.

"What is going on here?" a deep male voice almost boomed, but held a loud and quiet mixed tone to it with quite a bit of authority backing it up. I knew this voice.

The Templars parted, and I could tell by his armor just what rank he was.

"Knight-Captain Cullen, wonderful to see you again." I nodded my head to him as he made his way toward me. I felt my crew coming up behind me.

Cullen's eyes quickly took in them all and then back to me. "I didn't expect to see you here. How have you been since…the last time I saw you?"

I flinched a bit and saw him do a half grimace as we both remembered the last time we saw each other. I wanted to ask him if he still hated me, but the look in his eyes told me he regretted the way he acted...at least a little bit. I could tell a part of him still felt justified, but Cullen was and will always be an honorable man.

"Trying to avoid Death; you know, the usual."

Cullen chuckles, "Yes, the usual. How is your Master doing? Is he here with you?" he paused for a second, "he isn't in the tower right now, is he?" his eyes went straight toward the four behind me.

I could see why Cullen thought that as my Master was in the tower, as he did do it to almost every tower he came across. I knew he recognized my brothers too, which probably made him think I was left with them temporary. Like always. Maybe he thought we were distractions.

"Hawke, Carver," Cullen acknowledged briefly the two before he turned back to me.

"Last time I checked, he was off trying to make an honest man out of himself, except his woman was already married." I told my old Templar friend dryly.

Cullen threw his head back and laughed. "That sounds like Zevran. I'm surprised he let you out of his sight anyway, especially after what happened at…the tower, let alone the Blight."

He brought it up again, and I felt a need to say something; I looked away from Cullen. "I'm sorry…about what happened."

Cullen's eyes softened as he reached out and touched my arm for a few seconds before letting go of me. "We were both wrong for different reasons. Since coming to Kirkwall, my eyes have been opened. Under Knight-Commander Meredith, I am learning exactly what it means to be a Guardian to one's charges. In fact, I think you would like her. Do you wish to meet the Knight-Commander?"

Carver and Fenris both stepped up to my side then, indicating that that wasn't going to happen.

Cullen nodded his understanding. "What can I do for you, my unofficial-Templar comrade?"

I heard Varric make a noise of surprise before muttering about Anders to Hawke.

"I need to see the Templar Thrask. I am helping a woman find her son who started to display magic."

Cullen smiled. "Like I said before, you would make a wonderful Templar. Maybe one day you'll make Commander. Thrask likes to station himself to the east of the Gallows," the blonde said as he pointed toward a lone Templar on the opposite side of the Gallows.

I thanked my old friend and started to back up, but Cullen stopped me as he grabbed my hand again. "I am sorry about my parting words to you. I wasn't myself," Cullen insisted, his voice soft as he did not want his minions to hear.

My eyes softened at him. "I know Cullen; I was _there_. I saw the state you were in. I can only imagine what they did to you, but mass murder is not the answer. Remember what I told you before? Magic is a tool, just like a sword. It is the _individual _wielder that is responsible, not the entire class. If an assassin had killed your King, would you blame me?" my voice was equally soft.

Cullen let out a breath and shook his head before he let go of me. "Come back to see me, yes? Don't only come to steal my mages," his eyes lit up like they used to before he was tortured.

How I miss that Cullen. My first friend.

I nodded, "I try," before backing up and heading toward Thrask. Varric tried to tease me, but Hawke actually stepped in.

"We all were childhood friends. If Cullen had a crush on anyone, it would have been Bethany."

"Then what happened at the Circle? Was he caught up in the one you said was overrun by demons and all sorts of creatures?" Varric pressed as he turned his question around and went in a different direction.

"You honestly don't want to know what I saw in that Circle, or what they did to Cullen," I replied darkly as my tone not only ended up the conversation but stopped anymore from springing up.

Thrask was all too happy to help, but he didn't have much more information. He told us he had information about a warehouse in Lowtown, but when he went, in the daytime, there was no one there. So that meant meet with Samson and head to some abandoned warehouse, all at night.

"While you wait until nighttime, perhaps you would be willing to help some other," he paused as he looked around before telling us in a very low voice that we almost didn't hear, "mages that need help. On the Wounded Coast, there is a group of mages who left the Starkhaven Circle after it was destroyed. There are a few Mage-hating Templars that are on their trail. Please help them."

I took one look at Fenris, and the two of us knew how we were going to help them: by either killing them or sticking them in the Kirkwall Circle.

"I'm afraid if they are backed into a corner, they may result to bad magic." The Templar continued, and I closed my eyes and tried not to get involved.

Hawke agreed to take a look, but he could not promise when we would be able to do it. Maybe in a few days at the most; the Templar only said to hurry.

As we let the Gallows and was in the Docks, I noticed something for the first time. There were Qunari here.

"Why the fuck are the Qunari here?" I questioned the three in my group that had been here a while, and they didn't really give me good answers so I dropped it.

As we walked past the guards, I tilted my head in such a way that the guard seemed surprised before he responded in kind. I also noticed the other guard speaking softly with another Qunari who hurried inside. No doubt to talk to their leader about the tiny human who should meet some assassins because she knew the Qun. Fun.

When we got back to Lowtown, I decided to separate from the group. "I'm going to hunt down some mercenaries that the Shiny Archer wants killed, while you, dear brother, go do something else. We can meet back up before nightfall at the tavern."

Varric liked that idea. "I got a few things around Kirkwall we can do that can earn us some of that Deep Roads coin. Let's go get Blondie, maybe if we tell him that we're going to meet up with Yellow Carnation…"

Carver and I were out of earshot and could not hear no more after that.

"Why does he keep on calling you flower names?" Carver asked as we bounded up the stairs to Hightown.

"I don't know, but I do know the meanings behind them. The first was "death" and this one last one is 'disappointment and rejection.' Maybe he doesn't know me, so he calls me different flowers." I shrugged at my lack of knowledge.

~Wolf and Raven~

To my shock, Aveline meet us as we were leaving Kirkwall and said Varric as if that explained everything. When I told her what we were doing and why, she seemed perfectly okay with it. I'm going to go out on a limb and say since it was legal and was helping to keep Kirkwall safe, she was all for it. Besides being a bit of a bore, uptight, and straight-laced, I noticed that this woman was incredibly loyal and took her job as tank really serious. Fenris and Carver were damage dealers, and if need be, attention grabbers for rogues and mages. It had been a while since I had a someone wielding a shield in front of me. I actually missed it. In Amarantine, I didn't have a warrior like that; in fact, the last one I had was Alistair. I had grown used to not having someone whose job was to look after me—beside a mage or two, but Anders never really counted.

I was always used to getting in and out as quick as I could, killing as fast as I could. I took risks. Here, I only had Fenris and Carver both damage dealing warriors who, while sometimes drawing attention off of me, I had to go save them a lot. I never had time to watch my back, and now I didn't have to with her. With Aveline, I could trust that she would keep me safe as I did what a rogue did: was here and there.

By the time we finished killing all of the Flint Company, we didn't have much time late night, so we just headed to the tavern. It was then that I just noticed the hanged man outside of it. For a second, I wanted to know but then remember that there are a lot of things in this world that I just didn't want to know.

Carver lead the way inside toward Varric's permanent room. As we entered, we noticed that Anders, the whore, Varric, Merrill (amazing enough), and Hawke are already sitting at the table.

"So, Raven, tell me, what did you do today besides getting all dirty?" Varric asked as he passed some cards around, apparently there all playing…a few seconds of observing…Wicked Grace. Master taught me how to play and cheat. For split second, I wondered if that was considering lying to cheat but then tossed the thought aside.

Aveline, Fenris, Carver, and I sat down in the missing seats. Merrill was in between Carver and Isabela on one side of the table with Anders on Isabela's other side (her left). The other side of the table had Hawke, Varric (who sat in front of Merrill trying to help her even if he was across the table), with me, Fenris, and Aveline taking up the rest of that side. Fenris was glaring at Anders as if he had some mage/abomination sixth sense.

"You guys want to play?" Varric asked as he paused in his dealing.

"We're about to head out. I'm not sure about what Aveline needs to do tonight, but Fenris and I are heading to the Warehouse that Thrask told us about." I left out the fact that he was an active Templar so Anders wouldn't be upset, but he frowned as if he had heard the name and was trying to place it.

Hawke nodded and stood. "Carver, Varric, Isabela, and I will see what Samson knows about the missing boy. I would feel better if you took a mage with you, sister. At least take Aveline with you if she doesn't have a patrol tonight."

Aveline thought for a moment. "My patrol is actually in Lowtown, so if you are investigating something, then I will accompany you. Just give me the details," the red headed shield maiden said as she stood.

Anders got up quickly too. "Take me with you Mora, I…" he trailed off as if he wasn't sure what to say but he knew he needed to say something. Just as he was about to start talking again, and Fenris looked like he was ready for a fight (a physical one), the whore spoke up.

"I don't think we need Carver, Hawke. We're just talking with an ex-Templar. Rather, I think, we need a mage. Maybe Anders can keep the former Templar on his toes."

I looked the dwarf beside me and noticed he let out a small sigh. In that moment, I didn't absolutely despise the pirate wench nor did I mind much when she tried to seduce the blonde mage to her side right after.

By the time Anders figured out a way to deny her sexual attention, he noticed we were out the door already. At least, that is what Aveline told me because I was trying to leave and not give him any chances to notice I was gone—which he would know if I was wasting time trying to watch him.

It didn't take long to realize that we chose the path with fighting. As soon as we entered, some slavers are trying to take a mage girl and, as soon as I realize what she's building the mana up for, I scream at her to stop, but it was too late. Ten minutes later, demons, an abomination or two, and a bunch of slavers were dead. Fenris and I quickly rob the dead and find a latter talking about a slaver in Darktown, but I also noticed a set of robes nearby. I picked those pockets, no gold, but a letter from the mage-girl turned abomination we just killed and her father, Ser Thrask.

Interesting, but I ignore it as we searched the warehouse—finding nothing. As we leave, Hawke's group finds us.

"It seems we should have went with you. You seemed to have had some fun," Isabela purred.

"Yeah, watching a girl turn into an abomination because she was going to be raped and sold off as a slave, was fun," I dryly agreed before I turned to Hawke. I handed him the two notes.

"The mage girl was Thrask's daughter, and the other one says something about a slaver in Darktown. We're heading there next."

Hawke quickly scanned the letter from Thrask's daughter before he pockets it. "Samson said the same thing about the slaver, though he confessed it was him that sent both the girl and the boy to them—all because they didn't have coin to pay him or the ship's captain."

I was disgusted with that former Templar and completely ignored Ander's rant on Templars as I turned to Aveline. "Thank you for the help today. I won't keep you from you patrol any longer." I grasped her arm, and we parted ways as I looked toward Carver. "Will you take Merrill home? I'm not ready to take her into Darktown yet."

Carver hesitated for a second before leading the female elf away.

I focused on Varric next. "Do you know where in Darktown this slaver is?" the dwarf replied with a shake of his head.

"I want to get this done tonight, so Hawke take Anders and Isabela. Anders knows Darktown so he can guide you while Fenris and I take Varric and cover the other half of Darktown."

Anders didn't protest, but he gave me a look that said he wasn't going to give up talking to me. Hawke just agreed and took off with his group.

Varric ended up finding the bastard, and, after asking the man once to tell me the information, I turned toward Fenris and asked one question that I already knew the answer to. "Have you got enough of a hit today of your torturing and killing of mages and slavers?"

Fenris only smirked and shoved his hand through the bastard's chest. Once we got the information, I, once again, saw a heart being ripped from a body. "Seriously, luv, we need to vary this up a bit, but since we haven't done any research, I'll leave it alone—for now."

Fenris ignored me as he stepped in between me and a man with a very heavy sword. "Fighting it is, then."

A quick, messy battle later, all the slavers were dead and picked pocketed by Varric. As always, he split some of the coin up between the three of us and then kept a good bit for the trip. Five minutes later on our way out, we met up with the other group—they were just as bloody and messy as we were. They, apparently, met the Darktown gang: the Coterie.

After exchanging information, Hawke demanded that we sleep and as soon as the sun came up (not that long really), we'd go after the boy. Varric put his foot down, though.

"Someone needs to go see the Bone Pit, Hawke," the shortest of the group (though I wasn't much taller) reminded my brother.

I laid in on Hawke as well. "Besides, someone needs to help Thrask with those mages being holed up in a cave. I am not getting involved in another mage related thing so soon after these last couple of ones. I need a break."

Hawke agreed to separate as long as I took Merrill (I was beginning to think he pitied her and wanted to make sure someone kept an eye on her as well), Aveline, and Fenris. "I need a Two-Handed warrior, and Carver and I need to talk."

I waved him off before that was finalized. We all separated except Fenris, Hawke, and I. I figured the former wasn't leaving until he knew where I was staying for the night. Hawke thanked Fenris for staying with me the past couple of days (was it really a few days since I met Fenris and had been in Kirkwall?), but Hawke wanted to take me home tonight.

Apparently, mother had found out I was in Kirkwall and was feeling, doing, and saying a whole lot of shit I didn't care about. I quickly turned to Fenris and almost latched on to him. I didn't say anything, but my face clearly said I did _not_ want to go near that woman. Before he could save me, though I wasn't sure he would, Hawke was dragging me off toward the hovel he lived in.

When we arrived, a huge ass dog knocked me down and loved on me, and a woman started screaming at me for whatever sin she deemed I had committed (she like to do that; instead of, honey glad your home and not dead, it was what I did wrong). I didn't say anything only ignored her and let the Mabari, one I helped raise, love on me.

Halcón (Antivan for Hawk), along with Carver, I knew without a doubt loved me unconditionally and wanted nothing from me but to be happy and protect myself—which they both tried to do themselves anyway.

I named the dog that because memory-me loved hawks, even if her animal was really a raven. Stupid Dalish got it wrong. The false-twin's tamed twin owls and made them his own—after all, owls were seen as the birds of wisdom. Probably the reason why the insane archer used them as her messengers, but she had no use for hawks thought the Dalish think so. No, interesting enough, it was memory-me real twin that had the great bird of the sky has his animal.

The woman who gave birth to me, after a while and Hawke coming into the conversation, realized that I was not listening or even paying attention to her, gave up and left—probably to cry. When she left, I looked to my brother and saw the pain on his face. So that meant she said some really nasty things. Probably accused me of letting Bethany die and not loving her enough or some shit like that for not being there when she needed me.

Hypocrite. She was never there when I needed her. She let me be sold off to the Crows to pay her husband's dent; she never cared when I came home damaged—she never saw it. Instead, she only worried about if I was doing something to support the family. Was it any wonder why I didn't want anything to do with her? She only wanted me when it suited her.

After seeing Hawke's face, I knew then and there I wasn't coming back. I would not put him through this again, and if this was how she acted when she saw me, she wasn't going to do so again. I would stay away so he wouldn't have to be put between us again.

Carver came in and immediately knew what happened. I gently touched Hawke's arm to show him I was here and headed into the bedroom, following after Carver. Tomorrow would be hellish.

Translations:

-Tevene: amatus: my love, loved one, beloved (something like this—couldn't find a direct translation to Dorian's endearment to male!inky)

-Tevene: Mors parva caducus meum: my fragile little Death

-Tevene: Bellator meum: Warrior mine

-Black Rose: Death

-Yellow Carnation: you have disappointed me, rejection


	6. DA:II Part 4 (Act 1)

**Moon Says:** So, like I said, two for one because it too so bloody long to write and post. This one happened mostly yesterday when I was trying to finish the previous chapter. I just got a scene in my head after writing something from that chapter, the Big Anders scene in here (I think) and everything just went from there. This chapter was also really written out of order. Bare with me please!

**NOTE**: Just want to remind everyone that each chapter is 20 pages exactly. Some stuff gets cut off for next chapter, but know this! One more chapter and Act 1 is done! Deep Roads chapter is next, then an Intermission to to a few other countries.

**Pages: **20

**Posted:** 11 April 2015

**The Wolf and the Raven**

**~Chapter 6~**

Hawke, Carver, and I are out of the hovel before that woman wakes up, and I noticed that neither Hawke nor myself tell Carver what happened before he came back.

Not much was said that morning. Hawke and I headed to the Hanged Man, and our brother went to get his love interest. By the time we got there, my team was only missing a mage, and Hawke's a warrior. Isabela was standing next to Varric though she was trying to get in Fenris' pants, and Varric was trying to distract Aveline from trying to kill Isabela for disturbing the air with her disgusting ways. Anders seemed to be half in both conversations, though it was clear Fenris was ignoring him.

Fenris was the first to notice us and drew the other's attention as she left the wall he was leaning against as he came toward me. The white haired elf gave me a quick almost unnoticed onceover, checking me over, and by the look in his eyes, I knew he could tell something happened last night. But he left it alone.

Once Aveline saw me, she quickly left Varric and came toward me. "We have a stop to make before we head out to the Wounded Coast. I don't know what you did, but the Seneschal wishes to have a word with you. You haven't been doing anything—"

Isabela interrupted Aveline. "Oh please, like anyone could do anything that you didn't disapprove of. I bet the girl can't walk down the street without her doing something wrong. Lighten up, man-hands. I would suggest that the Seneschal wants a piece of our girl here, but knowing the little I do about him, I doubt it."

"Oh, Rivaini, that's a story you got to tell me." Varric cut in, and, after seeing Merrill and Carver come up, I decided that I did not want to stay.

I made a motion for those in my group to leave and we left the two Rogues with their, no doubt, smutty conversation.

My group headed for the Keep that Aveline practically lives in. The guy I ended up speaking with was a stuck up man named Bran who wanted me to go save a stupid boy from the Qunari because he didn't want to pay the amount a mercenary group wanted to charge him.

I was going to be so fucking busy on the Wounded Coast, yay.

~Wolf and Raven~

Finding the mage boy was easy; I took care of that shit first. Saved the boy only to take his ass to the Circle. Fenris and Aveline approved; however, Merrill was of a mixed bag. She believed that the best place for him was with the Dalish. I set her straight though.

"He is a half-breed. They could not even accept you, a natural born Dalish, and yet they casted you out. Do you believe that they would accept one like him?"

My words held her tongue, and I could see sadness in her at them. I felt bad, even if it was the truth.

A trip to the Gallows was next, and I went straight to Cullen this time. A few of his men saw me coming and had him turn around, because the Templar Captain had his back to me. The look on Cullen's face was happy at first before it turned to neutral as he saw me dragging the half-breed behind me. I didn't bother to remember his name; although, I knew he would become just another nameless and, probably, faceless people I've killed.

When I came to a stop in front of Cullen, I pushed the boy forward. "Cullen, this one has _strong_ magic, and when I say strong, I mean one that needs extreme control and training. Please have the First Enchanter see directly to his studies like last year."

Cullen understood me then as my words informed him exactly why I gave the boy up. The half-breed needed watching and care. Cullen didn't even say a word as he took the boy and lead him deeper into the Gallows.

"I hope you do not regret this later, Raven." Merrill simply said as we watched the boy led off.

"Merrill, the boy is going to end up dead soon or later. Maybe the strict control under the Templars will help. He doesn't need freedom. What he needs is structure and boundaries, something that the Templars and the Circle can give." With a last look, I turned and went back to the docks. "We need to go save another boy. This time not from Tevinters but Qunari! Thank you Maker for leading me to a place that gives me oh so much diversity!"

My group's laughter kept me light as we buried ourselves deeper in blood.

~Wolf and Raven~

Not even half an hour later, we were back on the Wounded Coast trying to find some damn Qunari and get them to return the boy. Which turns out, there was no killing any Qunari because some stupid mercenaries killed them all. Although to get to the mercenaries, we did kill some of those rogue Qunari.

As soon as we got to the scene, I knew, especially from the way the boy was berating the mercenaries, that everything was not as it seemed.

The female leader slapped the boy. "Shut up you stupid Qunari-lover. If it wasn't for the coin offered to get you back, I'd kill you here and now."

Yep. This was a bad situation. If they killed some Qunari who were trying to convert, this could start a war. Damn it all!

When I got close, I killed the woman first, then went to work on all the others. With my team behind me, we finished them off in no time.

This only led to more freaking Qunari business. So, I get rid of mage problems, and I get sucked into Qunari problems. At least it was me dealing with the shit and not my brother. I had a past with the Qunari, and a good standing, so it was better.

We helped a dwarf out, killed some bad Qunari, but before we could meet with the Qunari on the behalf of the dwarf—who was going to pay us a lot of coin, though I did tell him this was not going to work out—with a stupid Chantry chick who wanted to fuck up Qunari relationships.

As soon as I saw the Saarabas, I freaked the fuck out. I would have killed both the Templar and the Chantry Mother if it wasn't for Fenris holding me back. The other two in our group didn't understand the situation, nor did they know me that well.

I focused on the woman. "You will die for your interference with the Qunari." Then I ignored her and focused on the Qunari mage.

"[You have two choices. I can either take you to the Docks and return you to your people, or we can take you back to the area where you were separated from your Arvaarad and return you.]" I told him in Qunlet.

He didn't seem to like the former option, so I agreed to take him back to his Arvaarad. I really hate religious types. They disregard all other just for their own. After this, I was going to give the Grand Cleric a piece of my mind.

After a battle underneath the city, I found out I was a temporary Arvaarad. Funny.

I caught Fenris' eye. "Do you think it's funny that I'm his Arvaarad?"

"Hilarious," was the dry reply, but I could see that he found it slightly humorous.

By the time we returned the mage, only for the Qunari to try and kill us contaminated people, I found myself watching him commit suicide as the sun came up.

On our way back, Merrill couldn't keep quiet. "Why did he do that? He was free…"

Fenris wasn't going to answer her, or engage with her at all, so I answered her question, though by Aveline's face, she was curious too. "You would die for the ways of your people, yes? In the Qun, the mage is very special. They are caged like animals but respected for their power. It's contradicting, just like their views on dragons. The point is, the Qun demanded he die because he may have been corrupted, and it is his place in the Qun to protect others."

"And you subscribe to this? I notice how you are never alone." Aveline cut in.

I snorted. "My place in the Qun is special, and because of obligations and such, it is recognized that I can never be fully part on the Qun, I am what they call a Half-Breed. I am half in and half out of the Qun. Thus, because I am a fucked up like mage who isn't a mage, I am a potential danger to those around me, and so I have an Arvaarad with me at all times."

I looked up at the sun then back to Kirkwall. "We need to go see the Qunari. There is a lot their leader, whoever is highest command under the Arishok, needs to know. Then I am going straight to the Grand Cleric to inform her of how her Chantry Mothers aren't being good Chantry people."

~Wolf and Raven~

As we entered the Docks, I turned toward my crew, especially Aveline and Merrill. "Please do not speak, the Qun…can be tricky for outsiders to understand, and if you piss them off, especially the Qunari in charge, we are all dead."

Aveline nodded and Merrill whimpered before she too agreed. I didn't bother with Fenris; out of everyone in the entire group, I knew Fenris was the one I could take anywhere and have my back.

I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and went toward the gate. I looked the guard straight in the eyes and spoke in his own language. "[The Half-Breed to see your Commander. I have multiple counts of business that require his attention. The Bas here have made countless errors, and your Commander needs to be told. Plus, there is a dwarf that is in over his head.]"

The guard snorted for a second, before he nodded and replied in kind. "[The short mouth, yes. Enter, Half-Breed, our…commander has been waiting for you.]"

I blinked for a second, wondering if I knew the Commander. I did know the Arishok, so maybe this was a Qunari not so far below him? It couldn't be the Arishok, even if that idiot dwarf said so. The Arishok would not have left his people unless…something bad happened. I would ask inside; maybe I could do my part and help.

As I went through the compound, it was easy to find the dwarf.

"Ah, my right hand arrives. Summon your Arishok, the deal is done."

It was then that I knew he had been telling the truth. Even if they didn't give a shit about informing those not of the Qun about their customs, the Qunari would not have let another be called Arishok, even if the dwarf was misinformed.

As I heard the heavy approach of a Qunari, I let out a laugh. As the huge ass Qunari sat down on the throne up the stairs in front of us, I saw him take me in.

"And what has the Half-Breed laughing?" the Arishok questioned, as if, maybe, he wanted to know what was amusing.

"This dwarf has me laughing, Arishok. He seems to think that you would give him the Blackpowder recipe let alone give him a test to prove his worth—which, obviously, as I am here, he did not do. Even if he is an idiot, it is good to see you again, old friend."

As the Arishok takes in my companion, he frowns. "Where is your Elf? Have you replaced one Elf for two and a human female?"

Fenris, knowing exactly what the Arishok was asking, responded in the Qun, greeting him with the standard greet before ending with, "[I am one of her Arvaarad; the others are off fulfilling their roles as one of the cleaners of the city.]"

"The Qun from an elf? The madness of this…place. You have chosen a challenge, Half-Breed, when you decided to come to this city. A part of me hopes that you are able to fix it before it destroys itself."

The dwarf ignores what I said earlier and tries to continue on, citing that he had a deal with the Arishok, who only replied with one word.

The dwarf almost growls before he turns to me and demands I fix this.

I rolled my eyes and wondered how I would word this. While the Arishok and I are on good terms, the Commander of the Qun is a friend of no one. Fenris says nothing, and I can tell that he knows I have a rank and place in the Qun as a leader, and thus, if he speaks without my direction. Before he did so in his role as my Guardian, Protector, but now I am the leader once again.

Fuck. How I hate diplomatic shit. Again, how to word this? Dwarf claims there was a deal, Arishok said he won't' complete his supposed side, but if he had made the deal, he would not go back on his word. The Qun demands honor, duty, and obligation.

"Arishok, it seems I have been misinformed. Would you grant me a request to clarify what actually was discussed." I looked at him, referred to him, and put the power in his hands. Yeah, that should do it.

"as always, I have a growing late of disgust for you, Half-Breed. It seems more than half a decade away from Par Vollen has not dulled your mind to the ways of your people, nor it seems your place amongst the Qun and away from it." The Arishok grunted his approval before he continued and explained what happened. "It is as you said; the dwarf imagined the deal for the gaatlok. He invented a task to prove his worth, where he has none. You, however, continue to prove your worth to the Qun every time I lay eyes on you."

Fuck this dwarf. What is it with this fucking city, thinking that the Qunari are things to be played with?

"It seems we were misinformed and have inserted ourselves between the two of you. What will you have me do with the dwarf? I will kill him if that will restore the honor he damaged."

It would not be the first time I killed on the order of the Arishok, nor would it be the last.

Before the dwarf could do anything other than making a surprised whimper, the Arishok waved my offer off.

"He is not worthy of dying to you, just as he was not worthy of dying to the Tal-Vashoth. Let him live," then he turned to the dwarf, "and leave."

Carver would have my head if I let the bastard go without paying us. This would not be the first time I played the Qun to my advantage but also to show what exactly the Qun means. Besides, this almost would not be the last time I throw someone else under the proverbial horse because the Arishok, as Commander, had the right to know if someone threatened his honor and his people.

"The dwarf made promises of coin based on this deal with you."

I could almost feel Aveline behind me stiffen. I wondered if she didn't like what I said or maybe it was because she thought it would kill the dwarf.

"Dwarf, did your imaginary bargain make promises on my behalf?"

I kept a neutral face as the dwarf tried to explain his way out of it. It amused me to see the dwarf fumble under the Arishok especially when the giant Qunari demanded he pay us. The tone in his voice and how he rose as did the rest of the Qunari. This was a insult to them. What didn't amuse me was the disrespect he showed to all of us with his insults as he walked away. He treated this as if it was just a day in the market. This was more than that. Next time I saw him, he would die by my blade. The disrespect he showed…

"Leave, Half-Breed, as there is no more coin for you here."

I snapped my head back to him. "I offered my services to him not for coin, that for my family to live on. As you can see, this mire is festering with an illness that may not be able to be cured. I also took the job because I knew if someone else did, they would act just like that fool. You deserve more respect than that. More than that, I did not come only for the situation with the dwarf. I came because there are some situations that demand your attention. The situation with the missing Saarabas, has been dealt with. Unfortunately, the Arvaarad decided to try and kill me, so I killed him instead."

Aveline and Merrill flinched behind me as if they expected the Arishok and the other Qunari to kill me in retaliation, but I knew he wouldn't. Despite me following the Qun, the Arishok and the Qunari here knew that my duty as Commander, leader, to others would have me breaking parts of the Qun—thus I was a Half-Breed. One of the Qun yet not at the same time. Honestly, I never understand why I was given that title. With the Qun, there was no in between for anything. Only in or out. Maybe the Maker and Creator were watching over me.

"More than this, however, you should be aware that there is a Chantry Mother that may cause future problems. She is the one that found the Saarabas; she had a plan to use me as a sacrifice to start a war with the Qunari—or at least get you to leave. I will be going to the one who should be keeping the order around her and try to restore it. Maybe if she knows, then she can prevent more death. Also, watch out for the Viscount's son (the Viscount rules this city). He seems like a boy whose lost and will not doubt come seek the Qun. When he does, for that I have no doubt, there will be backlash."

The Arishok nodded at me, "We will see each other again, for that I have no doubt, Half-Breed."

I bowed, showing my respect, as did Fenris, and I took my team and left. They said nothing and it was only when we were getting into Lowtown that Fenris stopped me.

"Do they not know you were an assassin? To sell oneself, according to the Qun, would be a living insult. You are bluntly honest with him, leaving not much if anything out. So, I have no doubt that the Arishok knows of your former profession."

I looked around before I answered and noticed we were near the Darktown entrance on the side of Lowtown near the hovels in which Merrill and I live. I leaned up against the wall and looked at each of my companions.

"Yes, mercenaries and assassins sell themselves to the highest bidder, and thus, separate themselves from the whole and are selfish instead of looking at the whole not individual. My situation was different as was my Masters. We were sold to the Crows to pay a debt for our families. Zev's mom needed coin and, well, how well can one raise a child in a whorehouse? My father let me pay his debt so he could stay and protect his family. I wasn't doing it by choice; and, after what happened to me with the Magister, it was just another thing against nature. Against the whole. I was lost when I came to the Qunari and they helped me find a place to fit in, a place where I was needed. But I could not stay because I have a duty, obligation to my family. I am their Arishok, sometimes Arigena, and other times Arigun. The Qun is one big family, and when presented my reasons, I was respected for my dedication to my duty, my family, despite what I've been through—what they've done to me. As the Arishok once told me, we are the shield and the sword of the body, a part of the whole. It's rather complicated and I can't explain it as I am not a Tamassran. Just as the Arishok cannot explain the Qun to you, neither can I. In fact, that is why most don't know much about the Qun because each part just knows each parts, except the Arigun and the Tamassrans."

What I told them was enough to keep them quiet and thoughtful. While they were quiet, I led the little female Elf back to her hovel. I didn't want to confuse her anymore today, really. Besides, Carver would rather I not have her out all day long. Night was approaching, and I needed to rest. My mind was beginning to ache.

~Wolf and Raven~

After a week of Quests, my group and Hawke's meet up to settle down, party, drink, swap stories, and do Maker knows what else. Varric said it was for bonding, but I don't know if I want to bond with others. It only makes it harder to bare the pain when they die.

As my group comes in, later than the other, we sit down. The table actually holds ten people, but there is only nine of us here. Varric sits to Hawke's left and I to his right with him at the second seat on the side closest to the door (the damn table is oddly positioned at such an angle that every seat can see the doorway. Fenris and Aveline are the last two seats on my side. The opposite side has the first two filled by two of my group (ever-changing groups) Carver and Merrill, the third, and in front of me, Anders, and Isabela the whore to my right of him.

On our last Quest, which was so stupid I refuse to even remember what it was about, I had Aveline, Merrill, and Carver with me. All I will say is that from now on, I need to remember that the stuff Aveline needs help with, Hawke is doing it from now on.

The first thing I do as I go to my seat is toss a bag of coin down in between Hawke and Varric. "After giving a bit to each of my group, as is the way of these things, this is the rest from our Quests and odd jobs. Now is this the share and care part of our meeting, I tell you about my week, honey, and you share yours?"

The whore makes a sexual comment toward me, and Aveline jumps to my defense. I think she sees me as a fucked up child who is a child, needs protecting, but knows what the fuck she is doing. At the end of the last mission, she told me that I'm a bit reckless, but I'm a good leader. So all she needs to do for me is be a shield between me and my enemies. And the occasional voice to bring me out of small bits of madness. It only took a week for me to trust the woman, and I know Hawke and Carver trust her as well.

After they get a few insults in, Varric jumps in with tales of the Mages from Starkhaven, Templars, and black mailing a Templar, along with the Bone Pit which was crawling with undead, spiders, and dragonlings. When he prompted me to answer, I just waved him off telling him the basics. "We saved a boy who didn't need saving from his Qunari friends. There was some Qunari business where a dwarf tried to bargain and insult the Arishok, some idiot Chantry Mother that tried to fuck with Qunari relationships, oh and, a mission I refuse to speak about. You need to ask Aveline for the details."

"What happened with that boy mage we were looking into before? Did you find him and save him from the Slavers?" Varric asked switching topics as he knew I wasn't going say anymore about the Qunari.

I took a quick glance at Anders; I knew he was going to be pissed. I still hadn't talked with him like I said I would. Shit, if this wasn't a way to really end a friendship, I don't know what is.

"We found the stupid place full of slavers, murdered them, Fenris got kick of killing and torturing slavers for a small bit anyway, and gave the boy over to Cullen."

Anders was not happy at all. He sputtered demanding answers from me only to have Fenris snap back.

"She does not have to answer to an abomination! She chose to do the right thing. The boy is a dangerous mage and needs the Circle. And that is where she put him, somewhere you obviously belong seeing as you didn't learn how to properly be a mage considering you are an abomination." Fenris snarled at Anders, while still looking as if the blonde mage didn't ruffle him at all—besides the disgust on his face, that is.

Anders glared at Fenris before ignoring him completely and turning back to me.

"Mora, why couldn't you have done what Hawke did? Hawke let those mages from Starkhaven free and fought Templars for them! Why couldn't you have taken the boy to the Dalish, his own people, so they could help him control and master his magic? Hawke saves the group of mages he comes across, but you condemn the boy! What I find most disgusting is that you're a mage yourself. How could you do this? You know what a Circle is like; you saw what it does to good mages during the Blight." Anders slammed his hands on the table.

I rolled my eyes. "If I was there, I would have sent them to the Circle or killed them, but my brother has always been susceptible to pretty eyes. Besides, the Dalish would not have welcomed him, and how do you know they know more of his special type of magic than the Circle?"

Anders then took my words as an invitation to sprout his verbal manifesto on mage freedom; after about a few minutes I was at my wit's end, and I know the others were too, so I snapped.

"Damn it, Anders, I am sick of this conversation! Not every bloody mage should be free. Mage is a weapon, a tool of destruction as well as healing. Helping and hurting. Just like a bloody blade. Mage isn't all unicorns shitting rainbows." I growled at him. "Fenris hates magic and mages because of his past. There is no denying that. Maybe if that bastard magister went a Circle, Fenris wouldn't be the way he is. Maybe if you had gone to a Circle instead of your mother hiding you away you wouldn't be a fucking abomination! Justice wouldn't be tainted and slowly turning into the Demon Vengeance. Just because life worked out for you not going to a Circle doesn't mean it is the same for everyone else. Some mages need and want the Circle—"

"That's because they don't know any better!" Anders cried as he interrupted me.

"So Connor didn't know any better when he let a Demon inside of him that raised the dead and destroyed the village he was supposed to be protecting as the young lord? Was his mother in the right by hiding her son's magic? Because he was not trained, because he denied his magic, so many people died. You didn't see Redcliffe during the Blight." I closed my eyes as I remembered the blood and death. "I had to accept a Blood Mage's help to save that boy. I went _into_ the bloody Fade, sacrificed a woman who only wanted to protect her son, all because the woman trusted the wrong people and didn't give her son over to someone who could have helped him. I brought the half-breed boy to the Circle because that is where he needed to go. The Dalish don't give a shit about outsiders, even if one is half Dalish. They only care about themselves and the fragments they hold of their past. Right now, especially with the _type _of magic he possesses, he needs something there that can stabilize and protect him and those around him. Templars will do that. If I could, I would have taken him to the Starkhaven Circle or even one in Orlais."

"Why can't you train him? You can monitor him. We all could…" Anders tries one last time, one last appeal.

As I take in his plea, I wonder if I am capable of teaching someone magic. Once. I was a teacher once. I taught someone the way of the Arcane Warrior, of using magic and blades. Maybe it was because of the hatred, anger, and vengeance running through her heart that made it all go bad. Maybe I was just a horrible teacher, a horrible role model.

I am, after all, madness. Good and evil. Black and white. Light and Dark. I am balance. Most of all, I am retribution. Maybe I trained her for the wrong reasons. Should I have curbed her emotions?

Should I be doing that with Anders? Should I try and separate them? Because if I don't do something, the tainting of the other will become too much, and it will be too late. There will be no Anders. No Justice. Only a misguided, misaimed, unstable, and out of control mage.

I closed my eyes as I thought of what to do. Not with the boy. I knew how that was going to end. He wasn't going to get the training he needed to control himself. To control his special brand of magic. It was going to go out of control and the Demons would come. And I would have to kill him.

No, I wondered what would be the outcome with Anders. Would I let him start the war he wanted?

I reached deep within myself and spoke truth that resonated between both my selves. "While I, as much as the next unstable and unbalanced being, loves battle, we can't have your revolution." I looked him the eyes, and I didn't just see Anders. I saw the Spirit that was being corrupted. "I will be the first admit," I confessed and stopped Anders from responding, "that something needs to change with the Templars, Circles, and the Chantry. But we are _not _going to go the way of the Imperium. Some mages need the Circle, and Templars are needed not only to protect Mages but protect other people too. The cruelty that is dealt out is unneeded. So is the mages that resort to becoming Abominations and using Demons. You keep going down this path, you stupid idiot, and I will stop you. I will throw you into the deepest pits of the Beyond and the Void if I have too. Change will happen; the world _will _change. I swear that." From the gasps I heard, I knew my eyes had changed. "But we cannot do it your way. Magic will return; the Veil will thin, it is only a matter of time before the wards break, but raging this one _abomination_ war against the Chantry will only cause deaths of innocent mages and non-mages! So . ," I gritted my teeth at the end and almost growled.

I felt Justice sink by, and Anders started breathing heavy as he fell into his seat.

"What did you do?" he asked, his voice was breathless as if he had run a marathon.

"I told Elissa, the stupid bitch, that she should have sent Justice back into the Fade as soon as she brought him back, but she refused. And now, Anders, you are suffering."

It hurt me that Anders was suffering. He was always good for a laugh, always there when he was needed. He had a sixth sense about someone being hurt.

Without knowing, I reached a hand across the table, but I stopped it when he looked at me. "You are fading," I whispered. "You aren't my Anders anymore. You've lost the man I teased, that I actually felt comforted around. One of my only friends. Where is the man that saved my life? Where is the man that was raising a cat during a Darkspawn war? Where is the man that jumped between me and a Darkspawn General? The man who almost died because he refused to leave someone injured? The man who knew the difference between right and wrong? Where is the Anders who liked to tease the little virgin with a manwhore Master? Who was secretly in love with his Commander? Who valued life? What did you do with the man who decided to dedicate his life to protecting others?"

I saw him flinch with every word. "I'm trying to. save…" he tried to defend himself but couldn't; he knew, like I did, that man was disappearing if he wasn't already.

I hated seeing him look defeated, but he needed this. I pushed by chair back, and his eyes snapped to me. "I'm going to find that spell I told the Commander about that will send Justice, if he is that anymore, back into the Fade. I refuse to watch either of you destroy yourselves. I want the Anders back that joked about anything, even if it was a pile of dead Templars lying around him as he tried to kill a Rage Demon with fire."

I chuckled half heartily as I remembered how we first met.

"This isn't what it looks like," Anders tried, weakly, to bring me back to him.

I shook my head and willed my emotions back under lock and key. "Or maybe it is," I finished and walked away from the table.

~Wolf and Raven~

As the fresh air and stink of Lowtown hit me, I let go a tiny bit of the tension I was holding.

Sometimes I acted without thinking, and walking away from a situation was always a good way to end it. But I never had to worry about being alone because there were three men that knew what I needed and always watched out for me, even if I wasn't doing it myself. That is what it means to have an Arvaarad, I guess.

I had expected Fenris to be the one coming after me; after all, my brother's had actually women now, real non-sisters, warming their beds. Well, I knew that whore Isabela was screwing Hawke, but I wasn't sure if Carver had gotten into the female Elf's robes yet…

It wasn't Fenris that came out of the Hanged Man: it was Hawke.

He leaned up against the wall on the side of the tavern, next to me. We just stood there, taking in the night air, just calming down. That is, until some idiot gang decides to attack us. It takes us only a few minutes to kill around ten of them.

When we finished, and stood amongst their corpses, I let out a laugh. A slightly hysterical one before I shake it off and start robbing the dead. I notice that Hawke is only watching me as I do the deed. Once I'm done, I toss him a few bags of coin, and he pockets them.

I snapped my fingers, and the two of us watched the bodies burn.

I speak first; he was always good at making me want to talk—if only to get rid of him. "I've never had many, if any, friends. Cullen was my first friend, but after securing Kinloch Hold, we parted not so good. Even when fighting the Blight with Elissa's companions, I didn't get attached. Not even with the Qunari, Sten. Morrigan is Morrigan," I said when I saw him about to speak. He never really liked the half-dressed girl. "But Anders was a friend, even if we disagreed on Magic and tried to get in my pants when we first met. Even after I rejected him, he took it in stride and still joked around with him. He was a light in a bloody time and uncertain time. A real friend. And now, I don't see him anymore. Anders is fading and fading fast. Honestly, I don't know if there is a separation between Anders and Justice anymore. Honestly, I just don't want to deal with it. I'm tired of death, of losing people I come to care about."

When I took a breath, Hawke spoke. "Is that why you have no friends? Of why you pushed everyone away, even your family?"

I gave him a look that was of a combination of "duh" and tiredness. "I was a peace offering from father to the Crows. My life, an indentured servitude of 15 years, was given in exchange so father could raise his family and not be carted off to do wet work. I was a fucking assassin, and even if our family is fucked up, we're still family. I wasn't going to put the rest of you in danger, why is it do you think I was around a lot, even if it was my time to spend with the family. You make enemies when you kill people for a living or at least work for the Crows. I've seen so much Death that it becomes too much sometimes. There are some people just some people that have a way of getting inside of your heart, and when that happens, it hurts like hell to lose them."

Hawke looked thoughtful as he took in my words. "Do you love him?"

I gave a humorless hm as I shook my head. "There is no room in my heart to love him. My heart has be given and stolen and now there is nothing left of it. I may have liked Anders and cared for him, but I am incapable of loving people."

"Other than the ones who you already gave your heart to, or the ones who stole it," Hawke added.

We heard a cough and turned our heads to see our ragtag group come out of the tavern. Varric and Fenris seemed to have heard what we said, maybe, but the others were just getting out in pairs, arguing. Aveline and Isabela were arguing; Carver and Merrill were making puppy dog eyes at each other; and Anders was shuffling in from behind.

"So, Raven and Hawke, what are we doing now? There has to be some Quest of impossible proportions that is calling your name?" Varric chuckled as spread his arms.

I thought for a second before musing, "It is _night_…"

"So more midnight meetings in the Chantry?" Varric grinned.

I tilted my head before looking thoughtful. "There _is_ that Shiny Archer who lives in the Chantry, and I have been meaning to talk with him since that night…"

"Night?" Carver glared as he asked.

I nodded. "You remember me saying when I first got here, I was attacked and pinned down in the Chantry?" he nodded and saw where this was going and growled.

"So this is a midnight rendezvous," Varric just ate that up. "So, what is it about this Shiny Archer that you like so much? I hope it isn't a Chantry Brother…damn, Raven. I keep coming up with all sorts of stories about. Mage and Mage-hating Warrior, Virgin-student and Man-whore Master who protects her chastity, a Knight-Captain in love with his pretty Mage-charge, a Mage- Revolutionist trying to prove his love and social rebellion to a Mage-Conformist, and finally, an assassin trying to corrupt a Chantry Brother. I don't think I will _ever_ run out of stories to tell with you and your brother around."

I close my eyes, shake my head, and give him a good laugh. "You are something else, dwarf. Besides, I don't plan on having any more freaking meetings in the Chantry anytime soon. I honestly don't have any plans. But I bet you tomorrow I shall have a few more. When we got Aveline from her home away from home, I saw one of those government types, I don't know who he was, eyeing me up. I expect to be found sooner or later and roped into something else. Besides, I was interested in this fat rich guy in Hightown claiming his wife was missing." I stopped for a second before hmphing, "Thank you for that brother, I just knew after all that shit with the Crows and the Blight I just wanted to start looking for targets who had shitty problems and big pockets."

Hawke and Varric only laughed with the latter said, "We will make something out of you just yet, Yellow Poppy."

"Nah, I'm always going to be a Larkspur and Primrose." I responded and saw a look of slight confusion. No doubt wondering if I meant the meaning of inconstancy or that I couldn't live without someone. The truth is both, really. I've been damaged too much to be able to function by myself.

Anyway, I waved the rest of them off as I made my way to Hightown, and Fenris followed after me.

"Wait a minute, I though you all lived in Lowtown." We heard Anders question but were out of range when, or if, someone replied. A second after we were out of sight, Fenris and I turned to see Aveline jogging to catch up with us.

When she did, we started to walk again, and by then we had reached the steps leading from Lowtown to Hightown.

"I did not thank you for your help today."

I waved her off, letting her know without words that her thanks was not needed. She asked and I helped. Simple as that. "Carver, Hawke, and our…mother consider you family, as such—" I stopped talking and let her make her own meaning of my words.

We spent the rest of the climb in silence, but once we reach the top, she turned to. "I won't tell you what to do but just remember that we all make mistakes and we have to live with them. Anders did something wrong and he has to spend the rest of his life, however long it is, dealing with it. But remember, how many mistakes have you made that have hurt, or will hurt, others? I'm not saying that you should accept what he has done and be with the mage, but try to be more diplomatic. While he has screwed up, he is still useful."

"For how long till he turns on us, I wonder," Fenris countered.

Aveline shrugged. "He's dangerous, Fenris, so are the rest of us. I'm saying use him but watch him closely. After all, is it not better to keep your enemies close? Maybe if we are neutral instead of against him, he won't be so defensive and push him toward doing something worth us killing him for."

I turned to Fenris. "We know what happens when you push someone too far…"

Images of what I did so long ago played before my eyes. The Death, destruction, Creator help me, the blood…

Fenris turned his head and looked down at Lowtown. "Is this not why you wished to have the Blood Mage near you? To be able to monitor her and make sure she does not succumb to the Demons she likes to converse with?"

For some reason, in that moment, I wished to argue with him. "I never really used Blood Magic, but if she really wants to use it, I can teach her to use it without becoming an Abomination or turning into one of the Magisters who use it for evil."

Fenris only rolled his eyes at me, one black and one blue, as if he knew what I was doing. I had been agreeing with the Elf too much lately and needed to balance this.

Besides, I had moods when it came to Blood Magic. My opinion, positive or negative, came and went. I think I might take the girl out tomorrow and actually question her on what she knows of Blood Magic.

My Wolf always told him he would actually use it, sometimes it was the better choice in magic (it was stronger in some areas than regular magic), but because it interfered with his Dreaming (i.e. it attracted too much attention), he never used it. I had used Blood Magic a few times in the past, but that was just because I was curious. Fenris never really liked it, either of them really.

Aveline left us then as she went one way and we went another. Once we were secured and safe in his stolen and vandalized mansion's master bedroom, he shoved me up against the closed door.

His eyes had changed, and in that moment, I knew both the new and old Fenris were in perfect sync.

"Do you love him?"

I didn't roll my eyes or take this any less serious than it actually was. Because this was super serious.

"You think I lied to my brother?" my eyes were furious and I could see that they had change and reflected both my selves like him.

Fenris considered me for a few seconds before he titled his head. "You do not lie, but you do twist the truth, just like him." I could tell Fenris wanted sneer, but he did not. We both had too much positive emotions toward our Wolf for that, even though we both were pissed and hurt at him. "You say there is no room to love him, no piece left to give him, but you didn't say if you would."

I tried to see where he could go with this, how could he spin my words to say that I loved Anders when I said I did not?

"Even if there were pieces left, even if I took back what has been given and taken, I would destory the pieces or lock them up and throw the key into the Void and Beyond. Besides, there are only an even number of romantic love pieces of my heart, and they are taken. I do not wish for there to be an uneven number there. Besides, even though there are only five pieces of my heart," I looked him straight in the eyes with a deadpan expression. "I can't reprogram them as I don't know how, and I don't plan on learning it either.

"Then why does he mean so much to you? You've never needed others before, and you have me now, so why is the abomination important."

For a man who was never in a relationship with her, sexually, that is or even acknowledge his feelings for me, memory-Fenris was always possessive of me. Anyone outside of our small group was never worthy of being near me, let alone having me feeling emotions toward them.

And with the Fenris-now…he seemed awfully attached to me so quickly, but what could I say, I'm in the same boat. Maybe it was our memories of a different time and place that made us able to trust and be close to one another.

"The other me didn't need anyone but the six of us, but like you said before, we're different. This mean didn't have any of you, and when I first saw Fenrir, he died for me. I still don't know why…was I poisoned? What made him give up his life to heal me? Could I have not healed? Then my Master makes us leave and I barely even saw _him._ I needed something in this life, and it was friends. I told you I didn't have any friends before. I had one friend and lost him because I didn't vote to kill all the mages after what happened in the Tower in Ferelden. They tortured him…you've seen Cullen. He looks much better than how I found him. It was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy what they did to him. Before he gave mages some leeway, some trust, but now? Now, he watches them very closely, but I don't sense any cruelty even though he probably gives them no room to move."

Saying all that reminded me of how Cullen once was. I could sense the Darkness inside of him still. It wasn't like in the Tower after the renegade mages tortured him. No, now he was more focused but not kill everyone.

I shook my head out of those memories. "Then Anders was my friend. He didn't even know me, yet he treated me as a friend. He never really wanted anything from, never asking for anything. Even if he did try and get me to have sex with him, but he stopped once it was made known I had no interest in it. He didn't treat me any differently for rejecting him either. Anders was always there for me, either making sure I had protection in battle, healing spells if injured, someone to talk to if need be, or even a laugh when everything became so heavy. But magic and Spirits got in the way of that. For once, I'm tired of magic destroying what little I have. It's always the same—magic helped take _him from me, my Guardians,_ _his Guardians_, and now, it's taking away what little friends I have."

I know I looked pathetic to him. I could feel tears try and well up in my eyes as I said the last part. "Maker knows it'll take you away too. You hate mages, magic, and what the fuck am I but that? What the fuck _were_ we but magic?"

Once again I bare my soul to this man out of time, place, and dual identity. I wonder if this will be one of those times where he pushes me away because I'm acting so useless and worthless to him. Will he reassure me of his affections of his place in my life? Or will he tell me to get a grip on myself and act like the strong and powerful woman that I am?

Fuck, it's all his fault, really. If I hadn't become so dependent on them all. Maybe it is just in my nature to be around people, to need them. And since I was all alone before, something kicked in and fiercely attached myself to them. Maybe it's the need for balance. You can't have balance with just one person, right? I was always the one doing shit for others, bending over backwards to help and getting nothing in return. Maybe them being there for me corrected that.

If so, something else I blame on that fuckward of a _Twin _of mine. Maybe both of them, fake and real. The only brother I could rely on sacrificed his life for me. Maybe one day I will find out just why he did so instead of healing me or waiting for me to heal.

Fenris took me out of my thoughts by gripping my chin and forcing me to return looking at him. His face was so close to mine, I thought he might finally kiss me.

"You're strange, unpredictable, uncertain. You can be kind one second and then murderous the next. You make me laugh, you make me curse, you're something unique and different. I can try and hate you, dislike you for having a fucked up kind of magic (though magic nonetheless), but if I hate you, I have to hate myself. And I'm tired of doing that. Come, we need to rest for tomorrow."

How like him. Insult me, reassure me, love me, and then tell me to go to bed. He's the one that's so freaking conflicting.

~Wolf and Raven~

That government type I was talking about? Yeah, it was just a follow up to the thing with the Viscount's son. To which I told them both simply, that the Qunari are fucking serious and if the boy wanted to run around with them, there is no turning back. That and the Viscount should watch that Templar and Mother because if they got wind of Seamus being buddy buddy, he could get caught up in it. Which started more arguments before I just said , this is your problem, I'm out of here. I hate getting caught in family spats. Especially ones where the parent thinks they know better than the child.

As I left the Keep, Aveline tagged along. Apparently, she said, I needed her more than Hawke. Though from what Varric told me last night, it was because Hawke was doing something illegal. Again.

Fenris was with me this time but there was no mage in our group. Just Fenris, Aveline, and I. Carver was hanging out with Merrill…or banging her. I wasn't sure which and I didn't want to know. Hawke was probably fucking the whore. While a part of me hated her, the other part was wondering why I was the only one not getting any.

Maybe that had to do with the fact I haven't made any moves as to want sex with Fenris. On second thought, though, sex just makes things more complicated.

In the Hightown market area, my group came across the man who lost his wife. He was arguing with the guard who thought this was just a wife leaving her husband thing. He, of course, said that because they were married she belonged to him. That made me pause, but I was still going to help him.

When I asked about her, he replied with, "Oh thank you! Finally, someone to help. That foolish woman has caused me nothing but embarrassment. She needs to be dragged home."

Fenris spoke for the first time since we left his stolen mansion. "I can't image why she might run away."

The man sighed loudly. "Yes, yes, my wife and I don't get along. But that's not the important thing!"

"The guard disagree," Aveline said coldly.

"They're more disagreeable than my wife. Maybe your friend has more sense. My wife's parents are getting suspicious. They think I might have done something to her. I just want to make sure that they know I didn't do it."

It was times like these I wanted to pursue a different avenue of questioning, like the dirty details, but I had to think. My goal was to find a missing wife. So I needed to ask about her, not their messy personal details.

"How long has she been missing?" I asked and noticed a faint nod from Fenris as if he knew what I had been thinking.

"About a month. I wasn't worried at first because she's run off before. She's uncontrollable; Ninette comes and goes as she pleases."

"You seem more concerned about what her family thinks than what actually happened to her," I commented to which he only snorted.

"She likes to keep the company of an elf whore, and she makes no secret of it."

With that I tune him out and decide that I just had to pick a mission where I had to go to a whorehouse. When the man was done lamenting about his situation, I left him without a word and started to get away from him, but it was only after we got deeper into Hightown that I turned to Aveline. Before I could even ask, she chuckled as if it was refreshing that I was so innocent. "This way, Raven."

She led the way to the whorehouse, but she told me before we got in that she couldn't really help me here. "They don't listen to guards, unless one is ordering," she said the last with disgust.

I sighed. "Unfortunately, I know my way around whorehouses, thank you Master for this skill. For once, it comes in handy."

Ten minutes later, Aveline, Fenris, and I were heading up to the top left room. It didn't even take long before I was hit on.

"I can make an exception for _you._"

Fenris was standing behind me, but I felt him take a step forward. Staking a claim. Sigh. Not really staking a claim, but what can one do?

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time for a threesome."

That's it. I'm going to kill him.

Fenris grabbed my arm, as if he sensed my sudden killing intent.

"Aveline, would you mind questioning him?" I asked as Fenris dragged me out of the room and the entire building.

Ten minutes later, Aveline came out and explained that the cheating wife had a secret admirer, lover, (was this a surprise?) that like to give her special flowers and a Templar was looking for her as well.

Darktown here we go! I made sure not go to near Anders' Clinic. I didn't bother checking to see if he was down here because then he might sense me and come running. We found the Templar under attack from smugglers. Saving him was easy, but the situation he presented, was becoming more complicated.

Why was someone taking these women? What did they need them for?

Turns out a female mage received attention from the same admirer and got some similar flowers as well. Bringing the total to about four missing women. It makes me wonder if all four are really connected and who this freaking man with the flowers is.

The Templar leads us to a warehouse in Lowtown…what is it with warehouses in Lowtown?

"Would it be too much to ask not to have something shady going down in a warehouse, let alone in Lowtown?" I grumbled as I trudged along.

"Then where would you have all your fun?" Aveline surprised me with her joke, and Fenris snapped his head toward our companion as we took in her joke.

"Well," I said, trying to think of a reply. "There are always alleyways and Hightown Mansions. After all, Fenris lives in one he stole and vandalized."

I thought it was a clever comeback, but Fenirs only gave me a frustrated sigh. "Vandalizing?"

I nodded as I turned around and started walking backwards. "You were redecorating the walls with glass bottles."

Before he could reply or maybe he just didn't want to, we came to the warehouse that we were directed to. Inside smelt of blood, death, and the Fade.

"Be careful, I sense some of the Fade in here with us along with the usual blood and death. Definitely magic going on here, might be Blood Magic too." I warned my team as we tried to sneak in, but as soon as we came into the main area, I saw a man wearing robes sprint from the balcony upstairs into one of the back rooms.

I was about to tell them and follow, but then demons, shades, and the like started popping out and attacked us.

Before they jumped into battle, I turned around and touched their swords. I saw a Desire Demon so I covered their blades with Ice.

"Remind me after this is done to draw some runes on your blade, pet," I said as I disappeared and teleported behind the Desire Demon and unleashed my daggers. It needed to wear some more clothes.

Aveline kept one eye on me at all times, making sure she was in between me and some of the Shades that attacked us while Fenris and I were taking care of the Desire Demon.

Like I usually do, I appeared behind it and backstabbed only to duck as soon as I pull by blades out because it spun around and slashed it fingers at me. I dropped the daggers for a second, used my hands to hold my weight as I pushed up and kicked the Demon with both feet right onto Fenris' blade.

Fenris' only got a swipe at it before it disappeared and reappeared to my left and his right. Fenris and I danced with it for a few minutes, me slashing in between dodging Fenris' huge ass blade.

After all, this is what it usually meant when fighting with someone who wielded a blade like that. I tried to get some attacks in while he did the heavy work and damage and tried not to get sliced because it was hard for those kind of warriors to stop midswing.

Fenris' body lit up with his frustration, after all, this was a _very _powerful Desire Demon and usually we killed these bitches by now. But we hadn't, so he activated his markings and took the thing on with a new zel.

I shouldn't have admired the way his taunt body channeled the Lyrium, the fierceness of the way he moved, the way he _shined_. I should have went after the Shades overwhelming Aveline or actually fighting the Desire Demon. Most of all, I shouldn't have felt feeling such fucking lust near a Desire Demon of all things.

As soon as it felt the lust, I had its entire focus on me. Within a second, it was in front of me, punching the shit out of me and sending flying. I groaned and saw Fenris as I flew by.

"Take off its fucking head!" I grunted as the damn thing hit me causing me to fly back into the way thirty foot behind me.

My head started to spin as my head slammed against the wall just like my body did. I heard Fenris yell and Aveline tell me to hold on.

My vision started fading in and out and so did my hearing. I tried to sit up, but my stomach started aching so I decided to lay there. But then there was a probably of a group of Shades coming after me.

And yep, they were. I struggled to open my heads (it hurt a lot less with them closed). A few of the Shades left the group and was going after me. Fuck. Give me people any day, but demons and the sort? I find myself getting thrown back a lot. I raised a hand toward them; I guessed I would have to use magic. Fenris couldn't get away from the Desire Demon and other Shades were still blocking Aveline off.

Fuck. Was that red on my hand? Blood, then. Shit. No wonder I'm in quite a bit of pain on top of my vision going.

Shit, no magic then. What I did was use my blood to draw a symbol on the ground next to me. When the Shades got too close, they hit the barrier and—then my vision went out.

Next thing I see is Fenris leaning down over me, his eyes dripping with worry. Or at least I think he's worrying.

"Give me a second," I said as Fenris helps me sit up. I closed my eyes and focus myself. I channel some healing magic into my hand as I place it over the wound the Desire Demon gave me as it sent me flying. I let the mana flow out of my body and back in, and I feel the skin stitch back together. The blood is still there, but the wound has been healed.

"I won't be doing much else tonight, if that's okay?" I asked them and Aveline just shook her head at me, as if I was a child that she was humoring.

"As long as you can walk, we'll do the rest. Although after we leave here, your done for the night, got it?" her voice was fierce and forceful.

I laughed at her before sneaking a glance at Fenris. By the look on his face, I knew he agreed with her. As long as he said so, I'd obey. He probably felt like shit letting it happen, but really, it was my fault. I should have been watching myself and the Demon, not admiring how hot Fenris looked.

Fenris watched me carefully as we pick the place apart, speaking only when we came across a pile of bones. "There's our missing women, or what's left of them," Fenris commented. A ring was noticeable on a hand that was separated from a body.

I motioned for Aveline to get it. "Would you mind taking that back to the husband?" She nodded and volunteered to go update the Templar and Guards too.

Fenris took me back to his place and made me sleep and heal, never once letting go of me once we got inside or out of his sight. After all, Hawke said something about a Deep Roads meeting tomorrow. Fenris was always one to worry too much when I was injured. It was adorable, really.

Translations:

Yellow Poppy: wealth, success

Larkspur: fickleness

Primrose: inconstancy and I can't live without you


	7. DA:II Intermission 1 Anders

**Moon Says**: So, while being an awesome person, I'm also not. Sorry for no updates for other things, but I have been inspired by a fellow author to write oneshots for readers. This is for Seele Zeit who is, really, my only reviewer. The two oneshots will be based around her reviews. The first is Anders, and the second is Fenris.

**Seele Zeit**: Anders is going to be in so much trouble... I can't wait!

**UPDATE/July**: Okay, so I felt I had waited long enough to post something. I'd been hanging out with my dad for the summer since I haven't really, in my whole life, spent much one on one time with him. Then I started research for a _Once Upon a Time_ essay. Try watching 4 seasons back to back...fun, though. I have started writing a good bit into my last epilogue. So there is that. Anyway, enjoy.

**Written**: 5 May 2015/ **Edited**: 23 June 2015

**Posted**: 26 July 2015

**TIMELINE**: After last chapter and before the next one-AKA Deep Roads.

**The Wolf and the Raven: Intermission-Anders**

Anders honestly couldn't understand how things had gone from happy, even if there was death, blood, and fighting for their lives, to almost banishment, resentment, and hate.

No, if he was going to be honest with himself, he did understand. And that is what made it hurt so much worse.

Mora cared about him more than he knew she wanted to. She was afraid to let people into her heart. Anders wasn't stupid nor was he blind. He clearly saw the tension between the Commander, Mora, and Zevran. While he knew that the female assassin didn't want her partner sexually, she still felt so fucking possessive of him.

Anders understood that. When you don't have that many people in your life, the few you do have, you guard them close and do not let them go.

And Mora, despite being of blood with Elissa, Anders saw the tension between them. Sure, they cared for each other, but there was something deeper. Both women saw the other as a threat to their relationship with Zevran. And with Elissa being the leader, she was having a hard time letting someone else have control over anything.

After all, the woman did just end a Blight and kill an Archdemon.

But Mora was with her too.

Despite him leaving the Wardens, which he knew she had a problem with considering her insane honor when it came to duty, Mora had been okay with him being there. In fact, Anders could have sworn he saw some relief in her eyes when they met again in Darktown. To see a familiar face, especially one she trusted with her life made her a bit happy.

Or maybe Anders was deluding himself on that front.

When he saw Mora again, Anders felt like it was a sign from the Maker. Maybe despite what he did with Justice, he was still worthy to have love. And Anders was fond of Mora and knew it would take nothing from him to love her like a lover. He wasn't feeling that for her now because she had made it clear before that there were things separating them.

Her master for one, especially with the Elf trying to distract Anders from his charge by trying to get into his pants. Which as weird…usually overprotective brothers or parents threatened or discouraged such attention but to be threatened _and_ offered sex from someone else? That was something…quite different.

Not that Anders had a problem with fucking with males, but Anders sure as hell wasn't going anywhere near Zevran. Besides the fact he wanted Mora, he knew Mora didn't like people screwing her Master. And Elissa, his Commander, was with the Elf. Despite Elissa being freaking _married_ to Alistair, the fucking _King_, she had another in her bed, though the two were _very _discreet.

But she made no effort to stop Zevran from leaving her bed, though sometimes Anders caught a few looks from Elissa that proved she didn't like it. Mora just joked about it, but she didn't like sharing even if she wasn't with the elf sexually.

There was just something about Mora and wanting to collect people. _Shiny and Sparkly_, she called some people. Anders didn't understand this, but it was amusing none the less.

Nathanial was one of those , and it was _not_ amusing—except when she was denying him, of course.

Anders knew they had a history together, but he could see the distance she put between them, and it gave Anders hope. It gave him a sick pleasure to see the archer pine after the assassin and she ignored him.

Anders sighed as he laid in his bed in his Darktown Clinic. Sleep would not come due to the dual-haired dagger wielding woman who was so close to stealing his heart. Well, the better rogue saying would be that she was so close to stabbing him in the heart.

The mage clearly remembered the first time they met, and damn it, if a part of him didn't want that again. That easy respect, comradely, and fun tilt to their interactions. Most of all, the trust and positive emotions between them.

~ANDERS~

Anders turned around toward the group of four that had come rushing in. As he turned away from the demon he just flamed to death, he shook his hands making a few noises due to the heat before he remembered the dead Templars on the floor.

His blue eyes went to the woman who seemed the most at ease surrounded by death. "This isn't what it looks like," he tried to assure her, and when she raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled silently, Anders titled his head to both sides, showing she was right. "Okay, maybe it is. But I didn't kill them. They wouldn't let me use magic and died by the onslaught of demons and Darkspawn. It was only after they died that I defended myself. You see I don't have a staff…"

Anders followed the eyes of the only male, an elf, and saw his staff on the other side of the room. "Oh, there it is. I had wondered where it went. You see, I was kind of asleep before this shit started. When these bastards started dying, I woke up. I didn't even try looking for my staff in the chaos."

The youngest looking woman started making stupid comments about him being dangerous and all that shit, but the red and black haired woman who had found the situation amusing told her to shut up.

"Does it really matter? We are overrun with Darkspawn. I say with let him join us. Besides, what he said when he noticed us…I think I'm going to remember that forever. Such a classic response, I want to keep him." she stopped and giggled.

The male Elf chuckled along with her. "I like him, so, my dear, you get to keep him. We should not to stay here and argue, nor is it a good idea to lock him up or not use him. He will die if we lock him away, besides, a mage is a handy thing in a battle with Darkspawn."

The woman who had been silent the entire time finally spoke. "You can keep him cousin, and you both are right. We could use the help. A mage would be a good addition to our little rescue squad."

The woman who had argued against him accepted the orders, but it was clear she did _not_ like them.

The woman who 'got to keep him' giggled and clapped to show her enjoyment. "Yay! Let's go kill some more."

The utter look of joy, excitement, and childishness on her face would stay with Anders forever. Maybe it was the almost impossibility of her that made him want to get to know her. How could someone be so happy, so _childish_ and yet be so bloodthirsty and Dark? More than that, how could someone be so Light and Dark at the same time? It intrigued him, and everything about her drew him in.

As Anders journeyed deeper into the Keep with her, watching the total confliction of her, he knew that he would follow her into hell itself if she asked.

After getting to know her a bit, he knew she never would ask. Instead, she'd be too busy trying to get into hell to worry about who'd go with her or who was following her.

She was innocent and corrupted.

As he watched her behead a talking Darkspawn, after cutting it up so much it probably didn't have any blood left in its body, he found himself completely enchanted with her.

Though, he did wonder if his interest in her would go bad.

Maybe the Maker would smile on him once more. He just hoped it wasn't false hope like he had gotten when he escaped seven times only to be returned to that damnable tower.

~ANDERS~

Anders had kept his distance from her, but he still wanted to be her friend. He couldn't have her as a lover, then he'd have her as a friend. Either way, just being near her was enough.

It was after he had returned with Elissa from the swamp that he had one of the most intense and enlightening conversations that he'd ever had with another mage before. It was nice to finally meet someone who actually knew shit about the Fade and Spirits than those prejudiced religious fools.

"So a Spirit came back with you?" Mora murmured as she thought deeply about this.

Anders noticed that her next words were not aimed at him or anyone. She tended to think out loud sometimes when something puzzled her.

"How did this happen? You can't just bring Spirits back from the Fade. There are so many things that needed to be taken into account. The Veil had to be thin. _Just like before_, but has it gotten that bad since then? No, it strengthened after the Sealing…but it doesn't matter how it happened, it only matters that it did happen. And we need to do something about it."

"What can you do about it? Why can't he stay?" Anders was quite curious.

Mora snapped her head to her companion and thought for a second about saying anything at all, before she just shrugged and decided to tell her fellow mage. "There was once a time where Spirits could cross the Veil and interact with the us. However, it was _very _much monitored. No Spirit came through by accident, and if they did, they were evaluated to see if they could handle being on this side. In the Fade…everything is much simpler and sometimes more intense. Most of the Spirits cannot handle being on this side of the Veil, so if they were accepted and chosen to come over, certain…things were prepared before they came over. Most who could not handle the way this world is, were rejected and weren't allowed to come over. And if they did slip through, they were killed."

"Why were they killed?" Anders was concerned now. Why kill a Spirit just because it came over? Aren't Spirits supposed to be good?

Mora sighed as she saw that Anders just didn't understand. "Because they became corrupted. Spirits are emotions, and they feel deeper than humans, Elves, or any race can. It is easy to corrupt a Spirit. They become perverted when their purpose is twisted. Take Justice for example. He cannot handle this world because of the kind of uncompromising Spirit he is. He will see injustices and try and make them right, but he won't be able to. There are just too many and some shit is just never going to be overcome. Look at how Elves are treated everywhere. There is nothing Justice can do but wage war, and that will just kill thousands of people and probably won't solve shit but make it worse. Justice is going to go insane because he can't fulfill the purpose he was born with. It will destory him, and something will take his place that won't be him anymore."

Anders did not take her words lightly. With the Chantry, they took no chances when it came to threats against them. It was why mages were held on such a tight lease. They were too afraid of losing power, of the world becoming another Imperium.

Something in her words caught his attention though. "There were Spirits that were allowed to come through the Veil?"

Mora nodded conspiratorially. "The strongest were the ones that were allowed to come over. They spent so much time watching the world that they knew they were needed. In fact, there are some journals I've read of the old empire of the Elves that said that the Creator sent his strongest Spirits as leaders among the people. That were the ones that could balance their gifts, their purpose, and channel them into helping the People without losing themselves. Although, it is said," she frowned for a moment as she remembered, "that a few of them went insane."

"Did that not mean they became tainted, corrupted? "

"Some say that Fen'Harel sealed away his fellow Spirits because they were hurting the People."

Anders' eyes went wide as he read between the lines. "Are you saying that the Gods of the Elves were Spirits?"

Mora shrugged. "My journals believe so. And before you ask," she said as she saw the gleam in his eyes, "the journals are those of someone that is closely related to Falon'Din. Of course they could be records written by the 'goddess' herself, but—"

"Goddess? You must have it mixed up with another, because Falon'Din, the Friend of the Dead, was a male." Anders corrected her, but by the amused look in her eyes, he had a feeling that he was wrong.

"There is a lot of shit that the Dalish believe that are not true. It is why I detest them so. I've tried to correct their thinking, but they refuse to believe me. Fools. That particular "goddess" was one that misrepresented a lot. But going back to your question, the Spirits had to be strong willed and willing to bend but not break. If you believe that the "gods" were a special kind of Spirit, then there was one of Justice and one of Vengeance. But," Mora interrupted his attempt at interruption, "this one of Vengeance was a Spirit of Vengeance not one that became so due to being corrupted."

Mora's eyes seemed to stare off as if she wasn't really looking at what she was turned toward but lost in thought. "While they did not become Demons, if the "gods" were Spirits, they were still hurting the People too much and had to be stopped. They were becoming tainted by the world that wasn't the Fade. Precautions had been taken so they would not become Demons, but they were close to becoming so."

Mora shook her head, Anders noticed her eyes flashed black and gold for a second before becoming their original green. Or had he imagined it? Why would her eyes change color?

"Promise me, Anders, that you will watch him. Do not let him become tainted. If you have to, you need to kill the body he inhabits. Do this, _please_, Anders. If you don't, I'm afraid of the damage that a perverted Justice, no, Vengeance would do to the world. We just survived the Blight…the world can't handle much more. Killing him and sending him back to the Fade or the Void will save him. Deep down, Justice would rather cease to exist than be corrupted. That is what all Spirits fear, Anders, corruption and becoming someone you aren't."

"So they aren't that different from us," Anders concluded. "If only those Circle fools could know half of what you know." Anders paused for a second as his words caught up with his mind. "How do you know?"

There was something in her eyes that told him she knew his first statement quite intimately. "No, Anders, they really aren't. And as for how I do, that is something you are going to have to find out," she winked at him and skipped over to her Master and began to harass the male elf.

~Anders~

Yeah, so he knew exactly what he had done wrong. She had wanted to protect everyone. Mora might hide it, but Anders could see that despite her quick reaching for her daggers and easy way about death (giving or accepting it), he knew she cared about people. He had seen her often enough stop and help people without asking for anything in return.

What always confused him about that was the resigned look in her eyes. As if she had no choice.

He did notice her paying extra attention to that crazy Dalish Elf. Once she had heard the story about her clan had been killed, and by whom, Anders noticed her even more aggressive assault against the Darkspawn. He had often wondered if that was the reason she refused to listen to the "Father" Darkspawn. Elissa had told the tale after the battle. Before the Emissary could finish his proposal, Mora had attacked the damn thing.

Anders regretted hurting her, even more so when he had gone back on his word. He had promised to protect Justice, and for Mora, that meant killing him before he could be corrupted or making sure he faded. At the time, it had seemed as if he was protecting Justice, keeping him alive instead of fading into nothing.

But the more time he spent bonded with the Spirit, the more Mora's words became true.

Justice could not handle what was going on around him, and both of them were paying for it.

Mora had only been wanting to look at for Anders, to protect him. He wondered if she had told him about Spirits and made him promise her because she knew he would do this.

In the end, it always came down to Mora wanting to protect those around her. It was why she was denying her magic.

"Damn it!" Anders groaned as he tossed and turned in his makeshift cot.

Why couldn't anything ever be easy for him? Why couldn't he keep his friend? Why did Spirits and magic have to get in the way?

In that moment, Anders decided that he was going to talk with her, going to try and fix the damage that had been done between them. Anders would do it whether or not he could be more than friends with her.

But first, he had a problem. An elf.

_Why is it always a bloody elf standing in my way? An elf that would not hesitate to run me through with a blood-stained blade. Oh Mora, just what do you attract to you?_


	8. DA:II Part 5 (Act 1 End)

**Moon Says: **So, like always, it's been forever. But not too many months. This is the end of Act 1! Finally! But then they will be 3 Intermissions. Got to do something for those 3 years, yeah? Sebastian will be first, then Fenris (thank you my lovely reviewers! They are for you!), then Raven's time with Carver (we all know what's going to happen in those Deep Roads) and in the Imperium. Then Act 2! Which is supposed to be the shortest Act…or is that 3? Probably 3. Enjoy!

**Written: **15-17 October 2015 (mostly it was between 9 and later each night)

**Posted: **17 Oct 2015

**Edited: **17 Oct 2015

**Words/Pages: **11, 755/ 23

**The Wolf and the Raven**

**~Chapter 8: DA II Part 5 (Act 1)~**

A few days later, Hawke and Varric were more than ready to start the Deep Roads trip. As for me, I was getting my affairs in order. Not that I planned on dying, but still, I had a few things to do before I was back underground. Sometimes I hated being a Warden…or even half.

I took a trip to the Chantry and was so distracted by the shiny Archer, that I forgot I was also there to berate the Grand Cleric for letting her Mother-Sheep stray. And that straying was going to start a war. The other sheep straying…well, he was going to be _in _the war.

And many more to boot if things kept on going the way they were. I knew it was only a mattered of time before he was at my side again. I just hoped I didn't get him almost killed or _worse,_ again.

Just the thought of Sebastian getting hurt because of me had me hating myself, feeling guilty, and in pain. I had failed the man once, just as I had failed the others, but this time? It was our second chance, and it wasn't going to happen again.

I would not fail my Guardian, my Second. I would die before I let that happen.

Speaking of tying loose ends, I had a letter to write before we went deep underground.

Coming out of my thoughts, I noticed that I was staring out the window in Fenris' room it was still night. Without turning, I could feel and hear him working on his sword and my daggers a little away from me.

I sighed, and without a pause in his sharping, Fenris focused on me. "What has you in your head so deep, Lath?"

I blinked for a second before snapping my heard toward him. To have him use that word to me, forgetting the other Tevene word from before, made me think how far we had come. He wasn't calling me an endearment in his current native tongue, but in his _original _native tongue. To have him give into the memories without a situation to call for it…

I saw the bastard smirk and knew instantly what he had done. I had been ignoring him, staring off into space, and now he was getting back at me by not only fucking with my brain, but having me put it into overdrive thinking of him.

I glared at him, and it only made his smirk get worse.

I went straight to the table, bypassed him as he was sitting on the other side of the table (backwards so he could watch me at the window next to his bed), and sat down on the opposite side and end of the table. I could feel his eyes on me as he had turned his body to follow my movements, but I ignored him. I grabbed the bag that I left in his room when we weren't out on jobs: it had the basics I needed in it. It was also the bag I usually carried around when it traveled.

Reaching inside, I pulled out a small piece of parchment (that unfolded into a larger one), some ink, and a quill. Now how was I going to write this beast? I never did like writing letters…

_Dear Not-so-but-always Adorable, Kin-Hellspawn, and Master,_

_I'm not sure I hope this finds any of you in good health. Especially you, dear cousin, for you have all vexed me so. I found one of your many whores, Master, and I begin to doubt that you have standards. It is the one who you offed her husband, a Captain, and then met in Denerim during the Blight. Adorable…I don't even remember why I was mad at you. Maybe, though, it was the fact that if you had been in that Maker forsaken Swamp you could have convinced your wife that Spirits belong in the Fade. And DAMN you cousin for your part in this, for you have condemned not only a good man but a good Spirit to become corrupted. Yes, thanks to you, someone bonded with Justice is now an abomination. Thank you for allowing this to occur. Already, there are at deaths due to this joining. For this, you _must_ be punished. You have no idea the damage you have done. Until I leave Kirkwall, you will not have contact with Zevran. Either of you. In fact, I expect to see him once I come out of the Deep Roads. He and I have an appointment in the Imperium. I refuse to go without him, and if I don't go, the Archon will hunt us both. The letter said both of us, Master, would go. So get your ass up here. Now, back to your sins, I do not plan on talking to any of you for a long while. I can hear your cheers, Adorable, at the prospect of not seeing Zev; don't deny it, you like him near you. I bet the three of you are having a—_

My quill slashed across the rest of the page due to Fenris bumping me. I blinked at what I wrote. Nothing was disturbed, except I wouldn't really be writing anymore. I sighed again and just signed my name at the bottom with a reminder for Zev to come find me after we surface from those damnable Deep Roads.

I looked up at Fenris, who was standing slightly to my right, with blank eyes and raised an eyebrow as I looked back at the mess of ink and then to him. He knew exactly what I was asking.

"What are you writing?" was all the bastard asked as if he hadn't destroyed part of my letter.

I titled my head at his words. Fenris was positioned at an excellent spot to read my letter, and I saw his eyes dart to the page before going back to me. Fenris knew I kept nothing from him. All he had to do was ask…

I would not have minded if he read my letter of my shoulder; he knew this as we had talked about it before. Varric had sent us a message not even a day or so ago to talk about who was going into the Deep Roads, and I told him he could read any letters of mine, over my shoulder or before I got it as I had nothing to hide from him.

He liked the part where I would hide nothing from him.

Fenris looked defensive the more I sat without talking. He must have known I was trying to decipher why he said and did that.

He asked me what I was doing…

"You know I will hide nothing from you, right?" I tried to reassure him, and I saw his body relax.

His eyes softened as he looked at me, "I know."

"And if there is something you want to know, all you have to do is ask. I won't always say things, and I won't understand that by not saying something, even if I think it's unimportant, that I will be keeping something from you. Do you understand?" I was babbling now, and his eyes lit up in amusement.

A part of me was tired of amusing him, but then I realized that I was being needy again by trying to placate him, so amusement was better than annoyance.

"I will hide nothing from you," I repeated, and my voice took on a very serious tone. I knew when I saw his eyes go black and blue that he understood what I was really saying.

He knelt down in front of me, and, before I could register or try and figure out what was going on, he pressed his lips softly to mine.

The kiss didn't last but a mere second, but it felt like eternity. It was a kiss that had been long overdue.

When he pulled back, all I could do was stare at those lips that had invaded my personal space. That had been my first kiss—well, the first kiss that resonated with my memory-self. Any kisses with Nate had been blown out of my mind because those were just two lips touching, but with Fenris? It was more than that. I felt the Lyrium inside of him.

More than that, I felt something else deep inside of him. Something I felt when using my magic—it was the soul that was buried within us. If I wasn't sure before, I was damn sure now that Fenris was just like me: we both had something buried within us that had lived far before our time. Something old and primal.

And they _wanted_ each other.

They wanted what had been _denied_ them.

So was it any wonder that when I said I was an open book that we both, deep inside, interrupt it as: have me? On second thought, that made me wonder, how did it mean have me? That's when my eyes went big. Saying I had nothing to hide from him, meant I would, basically, hold back nothing from him. I was bound by nothing and no one this time. Therefore, I didn't have to hide parts of myself from him. Parts of my heart. My body.

"I know," was his soft reply before he got up and went back to sharping our weapons; this time at the end of the bench seat on my side.

I took a deep breath and cleared away my thoughts and emotions. Now was not a time to be doing this.

"I was writing a letter to my cousin, her husband, and their, possibly, third lover. There is no way Alistair does not know his wife is sleeping with my Master," I paused as I really thought about that. He wasn't completely stupid. "Anyway, I was basically telling Elissa off and blaming her for anything bad Anders does in the name of corrupted Justice because it's her fault that Justice was still around to get merged with a mage." I paused as Fenris snorted. "Anyway, after I get done with the Deep Roads job, I will be traveling to Tevinter."

It was only after I said that, that I realized just what that could mean to him. Especially after what we had just shared.

I froze. I really didn't want to look at him.

The Elf had stopped what he was doing. I heard the clank of the weapons being set on the table.

Silence took over as I waited for the slave-Fenris to come out and tell me I just ruined everything we had built over the last month or so.

"I would prefer accompanying you to Minrathous, but I am still hunted."

I could hear the frustration in his voice. Fenris felt weak that he could not protect me from, what he sees as, the greatest threat out there. More than that, I knew that he does not wish for me to make the trip. He does not want me to claim the seat…and I feel as if I'm betraying him by considering it.

"Can I not make a difference by making this sacrifice?"

Fenris growled and snorted at the same time. "What sacrifice are you making? You are a mage, even if not a proper one, and what better status for a mage than to be a Magister?"

I slammed my hands down on the table, the ink barely not spilled. His words made me so mad…I knew if I spoke, I would hurt him, me, fuck.

How could he think that of me? How could he think I wanted power? Or that, by taking this seat and position of power, that I would turn into someone as bad or even worse than his former Master?

I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, before grabbing my letter and making my way out of the room.

I was almost into the foyer, just one more step, when Fenris grabbed me, spun me around and to the side, and slammed me into the wall next to the door leading to outside.

His eyes blazed with is anger. "Do not walk away from me," he growled.

My eyes flashed and met him with just as much rage as he came out me with. "Then don't accuse me—" I couldn't even finish as the anger left me suddenly as memories began to pour in. I whimpered, "Just because I hurt you before…do you honestly think I would do so again?"

I closed my eyes as I could not bear to look into his eyes to see how much I had hurt him. I should have kept him by my side at all times. I should have never sat back, silent, and let him be pawned off to another as a Guardian when it was more than clear he had crossed for _me_. He left safety, comfort, and an uncomplicated life for _me_, and I threw it back in his face by basically saying I didn't want him. For so many years, I put others before him. I repeated hurt myself and ignored his council. Ignored the fact that by letting others hurt me, I was hurting him. Then I banished him to this hell of a life. It was my fault that he became a slave and suffered Creator knew what…and now I was sticking it in his face that I was going to become what he hates the most. Even more than that, I was forsaking him for others. I was putting other people's skills, trusting that they could protect me, _over him_!

How else could any of this have looked to him? We had finally found each other, and he had vowed, in no uncertain terms (with very few words) that he would not leave my side, that he would protect me, and here I was tossing him aside and not only going into the Deep Roads without him but into enemy territory where someone could use him against me or me against him. Either way, these were two places where I and the others could possibly die and he wouldn't be there to save me, forever blaming himself and me if something happened to me—

My thoughts were instantly, forcibility, banished from my mind when Fenris slammed his lips into mine. It was a hard, forceful, dominating kiss.

Fenris was not only staking his claim with me, but he was also letting me know where he stood in this conversation. The Elf didn't want to hurt me, but some things needed to be said.

I kissed him back, careful of his being in control. I was a good little submissive in the kiss. My right hand ended up snaking its way into his hair, both of his hands were on either side of my head, boxing me in, but really, he should know by now I didn't want to leave him—ever. I got lost in kissing him, of giving in to him, that I started to feel that buildup in the bottom of my stomach. An ache that I was desperate to ease. We pressed together as close as we could as if our bodies were aware and desperate themselves to ease this aching.

While lost in Fenris, my thoughts never once turned to what Nate and I had almost had that fateful nights years ago. Of where we had almost given into our hormones and had sex outside up against the wall of Vigil's Keep. Or of my first lover, the Wolf with the silver hair that was nowhere gentle in any of our lovemakings. Maybe with a few kisses here and there, but never like this with Fenris.

It was only after I had time to reflect on the kiss with Fenris and memories of what came before, that I realized something had been missing. Maybe it was true understanding, maybe true connections. Had the Wolf and the Raven only wanted someone to not leave them? Had they been so desperate when they met, that they came together only to counter that loneliness? Had there been anything more? Had there been something essential? Love? Not that of a companion or a friend; they had that, there was no doubt, but a deep, all consuming love? Or was it just one of those possessive type of relationships? They had been alone, lost, unloved, and with each other, they had found someone to make up all that for them. They didn't truly understand each other. That was the problem, because if they had, they would have never tolerated the leaving, the betrayal, the fake-betrayal, nor her going half-insane and taking matters into her own hands to get her own Retribution against all involved.

Loving someone isn't enough in a relationship. You need a special type of understanding, a willingness to right any wrongs made. To acknowledge a wrong and try and fix it.

Just like the both of us were doing in our own way. Though Fenris and I had let words lead us down the wrong path, but here we were trying to fix it. I had hurt him, and he had hurt me.

When Fenris pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine was having trouble breathing as I was. It was then when I was coming back to myself that I realized that maybe one of the reasons Fenris pulled back was because I had my legs wrapped around his waist, holding him as close as I could get him. I could feel his hard cock through his skin tight leggings—good thing he had taken his armor off, or this wouldn't be as comfortable as it was. My own leggings weren't very good at hiding my arousal either, as I could feel the material soaked, and I had no doubt that I had gotten some on his too.

I unwrapped my legs from him just as he whispered, "Never."

It took me a moment to remember what I had asked, so if he could answer me, then apparently I didn't wipe his mind of thought like he did for me. Damn. Maybe I wasn't really good at sex?

I pushed my head back into the wall as he backed away from me. "I'm scared," I confessed softly. "I don't want to ruin...hurt—" I trailed off because I just couldn't get the words to come out right.

Fenris didn't say anything for a second nor did I look at him. "I know."

His words, instead of giving me relief and assuring me, it caused me to start laughing bitterly. "We're just so fucked up aren't we?" I looked at him now, his mask was up, and I couldn't tell how he was feeling. "Do you think we were given this second chance because the Creator knew we would fuck it up? Maybe none of this is meant to be. Maybe this fake chance is our true punishment."

I turned my head to the left, still letting it rest against the wall.

"I don't know," he finally said, "but were here, aren't we?"

I blinked for a second before turning to him. I tilted my head. "Are you saying we should leave the past in the past?"

"Isn't that the way to move on? We should not completely forget the past as it warns us against making the same mistakes again, but we should not let it control us." Fenris locked eyes with me, black and green to black and blue.

This was getting really heavy in here, so I decided to throw in a joke, if only to be able to breathe again. His words were touching that place deep in me, giving me hope, and I wasn't sure if I could handle it. "Someone has been going to the Chantry. You've given in and had your own late night meetings?"

Fenris' eyes went back to their green as he raised an eyebrow at me.

I only closed my eyes, trying to focus on everything we just said but not let it overwhelm me. Which was really hard with the memory of his lips and body against mine…seriously, just remembering how that made me feel, what it arose within me…no wonder Master was a manwhore…

I tried to remember what started all this—maybe that would distract me from these feelings. Fenris was feeling inadequate and hurt that I was abandoning him as if there was someone else I was replacing him with.

And because of those feelings, he lashed out at me, accusing me of hurting him of becoming something I am completely against. An abomination against what we are.

Our biggest fears were losing who we are…how could I have forgotten this? He left everything for me, to become what I needed, and that is what he and the others had become. And here I was, bringing him back into that, reawakening who he was, and then…

"It wasn't my choice. I tried to convince them to bring you along." I tried to reassure him. "But because of my arguing against Anders coming with us—"

Fenris growled. "I will not have you going far away from me with that…thing."

I nodded quickly. "Anders will be staying in Kirkwall. Hawke thought that since I was against Anders coming, then he could bring someone he wanted. He is bringing the whore," I spat. "I told him you would have been better, but he gave me an ultimatum: Carver or you."

I closed my eyes and slid to the floor. My legs no longer having the strength to hold me up. What with all that emotional shit from before, the heavy (times infinity) make-out session, and the realization that I was destroying Fenris because I had made him…was becoming too much. Especially with the fact I revealed that I had chosen Carver over him.

Fenris knelt down in front of me before I even had a chance to get fully get on the floor. He lifted my chin up so I could stare him in the eyes. "You are still grieving for Fenrir."

It wasn't a question.

I let my eyes show how much I was hurting. "I still don't know why he did what he did. Why did he throw his life away to save me? I was injured, yes, but it shouldn't have been deadly enough to go to the extreme…"

Fenris' hand went to rest on his leg as he thought about what I said. "You mentioned that it was Templars who were hunting you?" I nodded, and he proposed, "Do they not carry Magebane?"

My eyes widened. "But it shouldn't work on me! I can only access magic because of what I _was_, but this body cannot handle magic, it wasn't born with it, so the Magebane shouldn't work on me."

Fenris only tilted his head slightly as he took in my words. "I thought Magebane went after magic directly? If you had used magic, it would have targeted it and spread throughout your body destroying it."

"I have no magic, only Lyrium remember? So unless Magebane actually targets Lyrium and not magic…" I stopped as something occurred to me. I had been told the uses of Magebane by Cullen when he was studying to be a Templar, and one of the warnings that were drilled into their brains was _never_ ingest, cut, or otherwise get Magebane into your systems. All Templars were made up of Lyrium; that was basically what they were once they started ingesting the stuff.

"I remember that Danarius," he snarled the name, "wouldn't let me near the stuff. If he ever thought that he was being poisoned or there was a possibility of coming across it, he kept us both out of the way. If Magebane actually targets Lyrium, this would explain some of Danarius' actions."

My first thought is to go see Anders and discuss this with him, but as soon as I thought about it, I remembered just what he is now. If I told him, then Justice would know, and then he would begin to use it on his enemies.

Fenris touched my knee briefly as to bring me back.

"I was just thinking of sharing this with Anders, but then I remembered what he has become, and there is no way in the Void and Beyond that I would consider sharing this information. Not with what he would do with it."

Fenris didn't sneer like I thought he would. The Elf only looked at me seriously. "You cared about him. He was a friend, a comrade; I know what having one of those is like." I thought about how close he had been with the other three, and now with Hawke and Carver. I had heard some of their conversations over the past month. They not only bonded over me (they made fun of me a lot it seemed) and weapons. I can't remember how many times I have heard him and Carver discussing the best kind of weapons for a two-handed warrior. "And to lose them and not have them there is not as worse as having them _changing_."

It was only now that I really realized why thinking of Danarius was worse for him now after he was becoming more and more aware of his past. Our biggest fear is changing into someone we are not, and what that bastard did to Fenris was make my warrior into someone Fenris didn't recognize.

In the past, we had always dreaded one of us turning. If we turned, we knew the others would be stuck with fixing the problem: with death. Once you changed…there was no going back. We hadn't found a way to reverse the process, and just imagining having to kill someone I love because they were so damaged, so far gone, it killed me.

Fenris was someone who always had to repay his debts. If someone helped him, he returned the favor. I knew he felt he owed me debt, one he could never replay (just the others), and I felt the same. I would always owe Fenris and the rest of the Guardians, and there was no chance at repaying that debt. Especially with how I just kept adding to it every time I hurt them.

I could see how Fenris probably thought that he owed me even more because by being with him, I was helping him recover who he was, _is_. And the thought that I was leaving him…it hurt him twofold: one, if I wasn't with him, he feared he would go back to the Fenris that wasn't him, and two, if I left, he could not attempt to replay a debt that cannot repaid (in his mind).

Why was it only after I hurt this man that I realized all these things?

"The only thing I can do for Anders is watch him and make sure that he and Justice aren't corrupted too much. I cannot do anything because I can't remember the Banishing Ritual." I huffed before I went on, ignoring the amusement coming into his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, like you don't get pissed when the memories come and go." I stuck my tongue out at him, but quickly retreated and continued on when I saw his body tense and his eyes heat up. Yeah, my brothers would be coming soon, and I did not want them walking in on Fenris claiming me. Besides, neither of us were truly ready for that. We still had some shit to work out when it came to remembering who we are.

"Plus, I've seen the way Hawke is looking at him." I frowned as did Fenris. "Anders claims he wants to repair the damage he did and become my friend again," Fenris did not look happy at that, but he kept silence and still, "but I've seen in the past month the way he follows after Hawke. It is one of the reasons why I didn't want them together in the Deep Roads. Varric estimates it'll be a couple of weeks. Sometime separate would do them both good."

"Yet the whore is coming," Fenris commented, and I growled myself.

I got up, dusted myself off, and headed up to Fenris' room. I went straight to side table that held my armor. I already had my leggings and under-armor shirt on. Both were straight black, even the corset. I always went in layers. If I did get cut, I wanted to make sure that there was a bit of cloth in place so the damage was minimal.

I had a black skintight long sleeve top with my thin corset on top. It was as basic as it could come. It had the cups but that was really the only design on them. It had the standard lace/thread lines and those were red. I put it on, and just as I was going to start zipping the zipper in the back up, Fenris was already behind me and doing it himself.

I had other armor that had prettier corset tops or even some standard flat armor that made room for the breasts, but the corset types were my favorite. I liked the Black Fox armor set that I had made in Denerim, but I had it modified. I didn't like that the top was just a black small clothes top with some silver/tan mesh to cover my stomach. I had them turn the mesh over the stomach black too and made it into a full leather top.

Quickly, I grabbed my belt that held pouches I stuck shit into that I needed: grenades, potions, poisons, the works. I had a few that held scrolls in them, for I had long since mastered the Runes I discovered in ancient journals of Falon'Din of storage runes. On the back of the belt held my blade sheathes, but before I got those, I needed my coat. It had pouches and other hidden shit in it too.

While I went to get my thick, leather long coat (I liked how it cover my legs and most of my boots), Fenris was already strapping his shit on. By the time I found the damn thing, it was the floor near the fireplace (glad it was fire resistant), he was done and threw my boots at me.

"Going to run off with those? I hear you might need them underground in the Deep Roads."

Snarky, sarcastic Fenris was back. I almost stuck my tongue out at him again, but I saw a warning in his eyes. Apparently, I wasn't the only one still effected by what happened earlier. It was why I didn't tease him about needed shoes if he came with us.

I only rolled my eyes at him (after I turned so he wouldn't see me), but we both knew I did it. But because he didn't see me, his amped up domination shit wasn't going to spin out of control. I had no doubt if I started something, he'd finish it whether or not we had an audience.

The thought almost turned me on, but I shoved that shit down.

I went over to our weapons, still where he left them after sharpening them earlier. I grabbed his, tossed the damn thing to him (it was heavy as fuck, but not the heaviest thing I've ever lifted), before I picked mine up. I spun them a few times in my hands, to make sure they were still good and balanced (otherwise I'd be in a bit of panic), then shoved them into their sheathes.

Fenris looked at me. "Would your belts not be better on the outside of the overcoat?"

I paused as I considered. It would be easier to access the stuff. But isn't it not easy to access all my shit all the time? I looked down at me and realized that I put the belts and sheathes on before the coat, it was supposed to go over the coat not under it. I actually tried that once, and thank the Maker we didn't see much battle that day. The coat had to be flared back every time, and it never fit right around my body, made it uncomfortable.

I nodded as I struggled out of the coat, draped it over the table as I took off the belt and switched them up. Besides, the less the coat tails flared, the less they could be used against me. Awesome looking, yeah, but not practical.

Once fixed, we left the mansion (I made sure to grab that letter I dropped thanks to Fenris attacking my lips) and made our way over to the Market Place in Hightown. The sun hadn't yet graced the city with a sunrise. Varric's brother wanted to leave at sunrise, so we still had at least half an hour before the dwarf would start getting prissy.

We met my brothers about halfway there—they had been coming to get me, thinking I had slept in. They nodded with Fenris, and we all continued on.

Fenris stayed with us. I knew after our huge ass revelation that he wouldn't be leaving me until the last minute.

"Did you tell Anders the news?" I asked as the thought came into my head.

Hawke nodded and chuckled a bit. "He was half happy that he wasn't going to those "damn tunnels," but at the same time, he didn't want us going alone. He was a bit reassured when I told him Isabela was coming."

Fenris, Carver, and I all snorted. "I don't know why because instead of trying to keep us alive, she's going to be trying to bed you," then as an afterthought, I muttered, "Not like she hasn't already."

"Did you say something, sister?" Hawke asked with an eyebrow raised.

What is with these damn males and doing that? Assholes, the lot of them!

"Go fuck yourself," I told him as I skipped toward Varric when I saw him.

Based on Carver's choking, his stumble, and the lack of Hawke's footsteps, I think I actually shocked them. I could feel a confliction with Fenris. He was confused no doubt, but his heart was always lighter when I acted like the Darkness hadn't touched me. Hence me skipping off to Varric and engaging in meaningless teasing.

"You ready for some lack of sunshine, Raven?" Varric moved from our playful talk. "You're an assassin, so you grow in the dark don't you, Black Rose?"

I shrugged. "Sometimes we grow, sometimes we wither and die."

Before anyone could replay, though Varric did have time to look shocked, his brother interrupted us. "Whoa, since when is the little girl going?"

I turned toward him just slightly. He was on Varric's left, and there were two other dwarfs near him. I ignored him when I recognized them.

"Bodahn! And Sandal. I'm so glad to see you made it out of Denerim in time before the Archdemon and the horde showed up." I said as I went straight to them and hugged the hell out of Sandal.

Sandal greeted me the same, "Enchantment!"

Most people didn't understand him, but I did. I nodded, "Still as good as when you put them in. If you want to check over them and some of my own, then I'd be more than happy to hand over my stuff."

He nodded and smiled, clapping as he jumped up and down. I pulled my daggers out, flipped them around, gave the idiot dwarf who called me a little girl a look, and handed them over to Sandal.

Bodahn greeted me with just a few words. "It's good to see you again, my lady."

I looked toward him. "I wished you were in Amarantine with us. There were a few times I needed Sandal's help with some Runes I put on Nate's bow. I always have trouble with those damn bows. And of course those merchants had nothing on you. After most of them lost their shit in that Wood, it would have been a good idea for you to get them back on track."

Bodahn only chuckled as he had always found my rambles about him being the best thing that ever happened to me funny. "Well, my lady, I get to adventure with you this time."

I nodded, looking all serious now. "I will make sure you are protected as you were when we traveled together during the Blight."

Bartrand did a double take. "You said you traveled with the Hero of Ferelden. Even have a letter from her and the King." He looked directly at me. "Are you her?"

I shook my head and tried not to let my anger get the better of me. I was still pissed at that woman. "That is our cousin, but I did travel with her. In fact, I was there when we fought the Archdemon." My eyes lit up with deviously delight. "If you want proof, I've got bits of the Archdemon I can show you."

The dwarf shook his head and turned away from me, going to bother someone else.

I turned to Varric, "Speaking of that bitch, I have a letter I want delivered to her, her husband, and, possibly, their lover."

"A threesome?" Varric's eyes practically lit up at the possibilities of stories he could write.

"Who's in a threesome? Can I join for a foursome?" the whore came up and inserted herself in the conversation.

I ignored her, but I didn't miss the look Fenris and Carver shot Hawke, as if they were asking 'you're going to let that come?'

I just gave him the letter, but I made sure that I pulled out the Seal, stamped it, and handed it off. Not just anything could be given to Royals. I almost thought to send it to my contacts and straight to Zev, but figured this might be faster. I had a special magical Seal after all that allowed royals to read letters bullshit if you ask me, but hey, I'm not royal.

Varric nodded and left to take care of it. It didn't take him long to get back, but I spent the time talking with Sandal about the Runes I had done.

When he gave me back my daggers, saying they were good to go, I paused for a second.

"We still got some time, Varric?"

The Dwarf nodded, and I went straight to Fenris—he wasn't that far off. In fact, he was less than five foot from me, leaning against a wall behind me. My brothers and Varric were more in the middle of the area.

"Can I have your sword, Lath?" I asked quietly. With a quick look over at the Dwarf and then back at my daggers, he unhooked his sword and an amused smirk took over a small part of his mouth as I struggled to carry it over to Sandal. Once I was over there, Sandal immediately took over and surveyed the weapon.

His eyes lit up as he took in my Runes. When he finished scanning the blade, he turned to look at Fenris. Well, his armor. "Enchantment?"

I nodded as I realized what he was referring to. "Yeah, I put a few Runes on his armor."

Sandal then went right over to my Guardian and started checking it out. Fenris was very uncomfortable, but he stayed still. It wouldn't do if I had a made a mistake after all. Though, he got his payback when Sandal started going over my armor and those of my brothers. By the time Sandal finished giving our weapons and amour a once over, the head Dwarf in charge started making his speech, which an old woman interrupted.

"Who invited the old woman?"

Hawke quickly went to take care of that. Why had that woman come in the first place? I just didn't understand…

I slowly made my way back to Fenris. I wanted to avoid that woman so much that I was only focusing on her and didn't notice when I got close to Fenris—I bumped into his chest. He steadied me, but didn't let go of me either. We could hear Hawke and the woman as they weren't that far away. About three feet to our left was a hole in the wall that allowed for a passage to lead to another part Hightown.

She was begging Hawke not to take all her children, at least leave her a daughter and a son.

I started shaking with anger. Fenris tried to calm me by holding onto my sides, but it wasn't enough. After her third plea, I went to go to her. Fenris was right behind to make sure I didn't kill her…or maybe he came to help. I don't know.

"_Now_ I'm your daughter," I hissed. "What happened to the last twenty or so years?" my eyes began to darken, all to black as I was told later. It scared the shit out of her. Carver grabbed my right arm and Fenris the left. "Carver is an adult as are Garret and I. If we wish to go on this job, then we will do so. You have no say in our lives, as really, you've never had any say. You're just upset that your perfect little world is crumbling and now your grasping at every little straw you can. Grow up woman. You're not that rich noble-girl that the world revolved around. Life sucks. Get used to it," I laughed bitterly, "as I have these last years. I grew up without a mother and a father, you can live the rest of your years, as short as they will be, without children."

Carver and Fenris dragged me off after that. They brought me over next to Bodahn and Isabela while Hawke got rid of that woman. Isabela eyed me and where we came from for a second before she looked me in the eyes. "Mothers are overrated. All there good for is selling off their daughters. We're better off without them."

My eyes widened only a second as a few things became clear before I shut down again. I didn't need to feel anything for this female. No matter if some of our past had a similar note sung. Only a second or so later, Hawke came back, gave a nod to Varric and his brother, and we were set to go.

Everyone grabbed their shit and started to head out. I turned to Fenris, touched my forehead to his, whispering, "Forgive me for leaving you here when we both need each other."

As I pulled away, Fenris gave me a small smirk. "You'll be back."

I chuckled as I started walking back toward my brothers, "Always, Amatus."

~The Wolf and the Raven~

We had been down in the tunnels for a while, and I was actually surprised (as well as the others were) and a bit proud of Isabela: not once had she been sexual. She hadn't made any comments or tried to get anyone in her bed—nor did she actually get anyone in her bed. We had one tent between us, and we shared it in shifts of three. She got to sleep by herself while I got to sleep with my brothers. She didn't complain about that either.

The more we were down there, the more I saw Varric doing his damnest to make this easier on me. Varric, apparently, knew everything about my condition—at least what Hawke told him. He was our go between him and his brother, and made sure that I was with someone at all times, aka my brothers. The more we spent down there, the more I realized that I could rely on this Dwarf.

I could tell that Carver wasn't feeling well, and I couldn't figure out what was the cause. He never did like going into caves or the like, so maybe that was it.

I told him to get some rest with Hawke. "The two of you have been up for days, I imagine. Get some sleep."

Everyone in my group looked at me. Isabela wasn't stupid; she knew something was up when not only was I never without one of my brothers or Fenris, but it made it obvious when Varric started stepping in. Especially when that bastard brother of his found out I was a Crow. He kept trying to make me a stupid Scout. Alone.

I looked Hawke in the eyes, "Varric is with me, and I have no doubt if something should happen, Isabela would be more than happy to stick a dagger in my back." Then I paused, "so would Varric's brother for that matter."

This didn't mean I trusted Isabela with anything, but I knew Varric had become attached to me and probably wouldn't kill me if he needed to.

Hawke and Carver then turned to Varric and eyeballed him good. Varric then began to converse with the two quietly, and I didn't bother to listen. Something else had my attention.

We were getting deeper in, and something was calling to me. A song I hadn't heard in so fucking long; in fact, if I never heard it again, I think I would be great. We weren't near it, yet, but it could feel me.

Maybe I wasn't as withdrawn as I thought I was. It also made me wonder if those who had magic were a part of Lyrium somehow. We never really had to use it before, unless we needed strength, and that was if we were running out. Those who were powerful as it is. The weaker the magic, the more one had to use Lyrium to unlock the gift—a gift everyone used to have. Elves, humans,_ all_.

Honestly, this song was getting into my head, and I didn't want to hear it. It was bad, and something deep inside told me I knew exactly where it came from. I had been exposed to it enough as it is. I hadn't touched it, but that didn't mean it didn't touch me on some level. Residual touching, but still…

I shook my head and felt Carver touch my hand before a second then went into the tent they had popped up so someone could rest.

With that bad, bloody song singing at me, begging me to come to it, I sat awake around the fire, waiting for us to go deeper and dreaded the more we got close to it.

~WAR~

When Bodahn told me Sandal had run off, I grew scared for the boy. Especially since I started sensing Darkspawn a ways back. I knew the boy could take care of himself, in some cases (his enchantments were powerful), but could he use then in case of an attack? Battles were rarely ever slow.

We headed down the side passages with cautionary speed. But I warned my companions, "There are Darkspawn in the tunnels ahead, almost every-fucking-where," I muttered the last part as we turned a corner, and, lo and behold, there they were.

We fought through quite a bit, but it was nowhere near as many as I had fought before. But for the others, yeah, quite a bit.

"How could you stand this? You said you were in the Blight with the Wardens and then in Amarantine afterwards. So much bloody Darkspawn," Varric observed as we finished off a set near a blue thinige. Yeah, after a second look, it was a giant Lyrium vine thing.

I shrugged. "Much better than the undead, I tell you. In fact, I prefer spiders over them even though I'm not partiality fond of those eight legged beasts. Good potion and poison ingredients though."

Then we go down a flight of stairs and giant ass spiders come out.

"Sister, next time shut up." Carver said as he cut in front of me and spun around hitting all the spiders at once. Isabela and I had an understanding when we fought shit. She took one side and I took the other.

Once we killed them, we looted and found a side door. "Hey, I found a door that needs to be unlocked, what must be hidden in here, I wonder." I got through the lock and found some treasures, weapons and such. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

On the way out, however, was one spider. The size of like three dragonlings.

"Sister, we really need to discuss this spider thing you have."

"Or maybe she needs to not loot locked doors," my other brother cut in.

Varric and Isabela protested such an aversion as we headed into battle. "Each one of us take out a leg. Varric, help Hawke." I ordered as I took on the leg farthest away from us.

After we cut off all the legs, I summoned a giant ass shard of ice and dropped it on the spider, one pointed end down. The shard skewered it.

"Loot it Rogues, Carver and I are going to go on ahead." I informed them; I still had a Dwarf to find.

By the time they caught up to us, Carver and I had already cleared out a section of Darkspawn and, together, we found Sandal all safe and sound. I breathed a sigh of relief, and for a few minutes, we discussed his Enchantment. He handed it to me, making sure I knew what it was and how to use it.

I blinked as I took it in my hand. "Amazing, Sandal. To think you've mixed Lyrium and an element…" I trailed off. Amazing didn't cover what he did.

Sandal ran off and we headed onwards. More of those Lyrium vine trees we kept on seeing as well as Darkspawn.

We had a few difficult times when those bastards would pop up behind us while we were taking care of the first wave that attacked us. It was harder on the bridge than in the open area below (that was the second fight) because of the rocks scattered about. Made it hard for those of us who had to get in close.

Once we finished them off, there was one set of stairs ahead of us, and we went.

But there was a song ahead of us…shit, Carver was not going to like this. Ever since what happened with Bethany, he hasn't been the same especially when he sees these Darkspawn. "Brother, you might want to prepare yourself." Carver stiffened. "There is an ogre ahead."

Carver readied himself as did the others, and with all five of us hitting it exactly where we knew it'd hurt, we killed it quick. It was after that, as we went through a door and a short corridor that lead to a longer one that I got a bad feeling.

In fact, when the others started to move up there, I didn't go.

"What's wrong, sister?" Carver asked as he was the first to notice I wasn't moving. "Do you sense something?"

I looked straight toward that opening. "Something is to the left of that opening," I silently went to peek around, "There is a hole in the wall, and I don't want to go. Reminds me of the Temple, this old song…" my eyes widened as I realized that the Archdemon had it too. The song that was coming from behind that opening…was similar to the both of them.

"A bloody dragon," I hissed and almost took a step back. But I didn't.

I heard the others curse.

"How big do you think it is?" Varric asked quietly.

I titled my head so I could see around the corner and looked beyond the opening. Fenris would have better sight, smell, and hearing than I would—why didn't we bring him along? Oh yes, Hawke wanted some revenge because I refused to have Anders come with us. But he got that with Isabela. He claimed it was because we'd need more blades, and she does good damage.

I couldn't see, there was a slight mist in that room. Maybe that meant that the room led to some water? I leaned back against the wall I was leaning around and closed my eyes as I tried to focus on the song.

I wasn't like my Compassion who was always listening to the songs of everything around us. No, my purpose was different. I was to help those that came to me. I didn't go looking for the songs of others that needed help, they came looking for me. I tried to remember what he told me about it, but my mind was blanking.

When I tried to listen, I heard other voices than that of the dragon. There were little ones…so it was a high dragon then. A mother. I could hear two out of four of the children clearer than others, and it made me realize they were awake. The song of the dragon was softer, just like half of her children…she was asleep.

"It's a high dragon with four dragonlings, but only two of the children are awake." I informed them when I opened my eyes again.

Shit. I always hated hunting dragons. I remembered a time, memory-me did, when she protected them. They were her friends, but now? My enemies.

"So what's the plan? I assume you are the only one to have fought dragons before." Isabela asked softly.

My comrades turned to me.

"She's not an elemental, so we are good there. Ice and Lightning are good ways to do damage, but beware her Fire. The default for dragon's breath is flame."

I motioned for the other two in our group to hold out their weapons. I quickly drew a Rune each for Ice and Lightning.

"Hawke, get her attention and keep it, try to take out some front legs if you can. Carver, start taking out the hind legs. Isabela, get those dragonlings out of the picture. Varric, I need you to provide support wherever needed; the quicker the little dragons are out, the more focus we can give to the big one. I am going to help Carver take out the legs. Isabela, once you are done, get to those legs." I ordered.

"What will we do when the legs are gone?" Hawke asked.

I looked at him with dark eyes. "Get the fuck out of there."

And that is what we did. Carver and I had taken out three legs (it was harder than it looked, trying to dodge the dragon that wouldn't stop moving), when Isabela and Hawke took out the other one. They moved out of the way as quick as they could. I made sure I was on higher ground—it gave them time to get out of the way.

I dug deep inside of me. I had only done this once in my entire life, both of them. Well, I helped Morrigan do it but that was only half. Anyway, I summoned a blizzard and tried to keep it focused around the dragon. Because of the fact my team was near, I couldn't unleash the storm like I wanted to. Instead, I could only focus on the ice storm. Shards of ice were raining down on the dragon, some were cutting it, and the wind was freezing her in some places. I had wanted to throw in some Lightning, making damn sure it was dead, but I could barely hold this up due trying to protect my comrades.

I let go of my blizzard just as I jumped onto the back of the dragon, ran along her spine, and, when I got to her head, I flipped my daggers then slammed them into the top of her skull. It wasn't easy, but the ice had weakened her hide. Not that I understood that, but that was what Morrigan said. When the dragon takes enough damage and is close to death, its skin becomes weak and blades can sink in—at least around the top of the dragon. The skin of the legs and underbelly were softer so it took less to be able to cut them.

The dragon's head fell and so did I. I heard someone pull a blade from flesh, the blade falling to the ground, and then I was caught.

About ten minutes later and quite a few potions in me, Varric retold the ending of our battle. Apparently, Carver knew when the dragon was weakening, and before I started running on her back, he was running forward. When I sank my blades in the top, Carver had shoved his blade from the bottom of her mouth up.

In the time it took for me to recover, the others had gathered anything valuable from the dragon and the room. I pulled out my scrolls and showed the lot of them how to use Runes to Seal shit in.

Up on the top of the stairs that the dragon blocked, we found our way on. While the others felt relief about continuing on, the dread only built up in me.

~WAR~

When Bartrand and the others were going on and on about the ruins, I couldn't take anymore.

I snapped at them, "This shit was supposed to stay hidden. I wish we never came down here." I told them as I eyeballed the red vines coming out of the walls and ruins.

"What do you mean 'supposed to stay hidden?'" Varric inquired making his brother shut up.

I shivered as the singing was so much louder. "You see that red? _Do not touch it!_ Not unless you want to die corrupted, twisted, and tainted." My warning was heard by all in the party.

"Explain," Bartrand demanded.

I snapped my head toward him. "Do you want to get the Blight? That shit right there is _much_ worse. It will kill you. You'd never get it up to the surface without its taint. _You _would be dead long before then. There is a reason why no one has come looking for it. It was supposed to stay buried. It was never meant for us, for this side. It should be _forgotten_ like the others. Nameless never to resurface."

Bartrand nodded his understanding, muttered about lack of treasure and told us to hurry on and find him some.

If only he had listened. If we had only listened to my words…would the sky have exploded?

Later on inside that damnable room, I was too distracted by the song. It was so loud. The shit that had grown on the walls and in between the walls and the ruins were nothing compared to this. They were unrefined, nothing, compared to this concentrated dose.

I was freaking out in a corner, and just as Carver was coming over to see what was going on with me, I heard Varric call out to Bartrand. I snapped my head up, eyes wide as I screamed, "Don't touch it!"

It was too late, and no one was in a position to stop his throw to his brother.

Then, seconds later, I felt the song of the idol overcome Bartrand. The corrupted Dwarf trapped us in the room.

I looked at Carver, "there was a reason why it was trapped down here. Red is tainted, blood Lyrium. It was sealed down here by _all of us_ so as to protect the people. But then the whispers started after we left. Our protection gone, the _others_ started to come in, whisper in the minds of humans, and then this shit started again." I looked him dead in the eyes, not even aware the others were listening closely. "How do you think those idiots, weak fools, breached the barrier?"

We stayed in the room for some time, mostly it was to get me under control again. I tried to block out the song, and I mostly succeed. When I could hear my own thoughts again, a part of me was glad that Fenris wasn't here. If he was, things might have been different. I think, mostly, it would have been worse. He was always the one who reacted the worst to that shit.

When I got control of myself, I showed them a hidden door in the back—I learned about those from Elissa who had quite a lot of fun in the Deep Roads. At least I think I did. Maybe it was the memories.

Anyway, we made our way through as quickly but efficiently as we could. We fought all sorts of shit. We had to stop a few times to gather our strength, drink a few potions, etc.

We ended up finding some sort of Spirit/Demon Wraith thing. My mind was still occupied with pushing on the song of the red Lyrium because the more we journeyed deeper, it was still on the walls. I refused working with the thing because I couldn't tell what it was. I was too preoccupied to figure it out. So we killed it and moved on.

The bastard didn't tell us there was something guarding the exit: just that there was a key somewhere. Asshole.

That was a fight I could have lived without because, and this is what the others told me, I was out for at least an hour after the fight. It was this time I actually did manage to produce the super storm. I was desperate. We didn't seem to be doing much damage to the damn rock especially when it collapsed only to suck people in and then do a blast wave, so I went all out. I called on every element I had access to and summoned them. Like I learned when I fought the First and his Golem, blades don't do shit on rock.

We grabbed our treasure, the key, and made out way through the exit. That Profane Spirit thing said we were close to the exit if we took this path, so here is to hoping he was telling the truth.

It was when we were almost to the surface, Varric estimated two days or so, when I felt something change within Carver. Something dark and tainted was growing within him. I hadn't noticed it at first because I was still fighting off the song of the Red Lyrium. The further we got away, the more I got my mind back, and by the time that fully happened, it was too late. I had assumed the taint was from Darkspawn I was helping us avoid, but no, it was in my bird-twin.

When he collapsed, I could only stare at him because I could finally see what exactly I had been avoiding. Maybe I knew all this time that he was tainted, and I was avoiding it because I didn't want it to be true. Denial.

Hawke was on the ground, holding his brother, when he looked up at my stricken face. He didn't even have to ask if it was the Blight.

"Can you hold on, Jr? We'll get to Blonde in no time and he can fix you right up."

I choked, "He'll be dead before we get out of these fucking tunnels let alone the day or so to get to Kirkwall."

"Then what can we do?" Varric growled. "We just can't let him die!"

"I don't want to!" I practically screamed. "I can't lose someone else, but there is no way to stop the Blight…"

"Except become a Warden," Hawke finished for me. "If only Anders had come…"

I shook my head, tears still trying to escape. "Anders can't make Carver a Warden. There's a ritual, and I seriously doubt they'd let him near the ingredients."

"This is the Deep Roads, yeah? So are there any Wardens down here?" Isabela asked, her voice slightly trembling.

So she did have a heart.

I turned my back to the group and tried to search out for the taint. I could only sense myself and some Darkspawn for the moment, but there was a faint…

I snapped my eyes open and turned to my birth-twin. "Pick him up."

Hawke gave his shield to Isabela and put Carver on his back. Then we ran with all the strength we had left.

We ran into two sets of Darkspawn, but I was like a Mad Fury. Isabela and I took care of them quicker than I thought possible.

After the second set, I felt them coming. And that is when I saw him, Stroud.

"I wondered if the taint I sensed was you," he said in that accent of his. Before he could say anything else, Hawke brought Carver forward.

Stroud only looked at my brothers for a moment before he looked at me. "You know we do not recruit out of pity. It is not a kindness. You know the cost of being a Warden, yet you wish it on the boy?"

"I will not have my _brother_ die." I told Stroud fiercely. "He is a good warrior and will be an asset to the Wardens."

"Have you even asked him what he wants? Not everyone wants a half-life, one that may not even last ten years. You know more than anyone that it is a life of constant death and blood." Stroud warned.

I snorted, "He is my brother. He can take it."

"With that confidence, I have no choice but to accept." Carver joked but ended up coughing.

"If the boy comes, he comes now. You may not see him again. Being a Grey Warden is not a cure for the Blight. It is a calling. Something I know you understand," Stroud looked straight at me. "Even now, the taint calls you does it not? You may not have as much as the rest of us, but it still calls on you."

I snarled at him. "Of course it does! While we've been down here, I've kept none alive that we've come across. I know what it means to be a Warden, Stroud. I know what being a Guardian means. I've done more for the cause than most Wardens ever dream of doing. I was there during the Blight and in Amarantine; I helped Elissa take down the Archdemon, and I wasn't even a Warden then. Tell me, what have you done?"

Stroud only looked at me for a few moments, maybe it was something in my eyes, but I think he understood something I didn't. Was it my sense of duty he sensed? He told me later, later when I could no longer remember who he was, that he knew without a doubt that if I had no ties to others, I would have been the greatest Warden there ever was. In fact, looking at the monster behind our group, he could see I already was. Because a Warden fights to protect others when no one else can. And what was I doing that wound us here in the first place but that?

"We must move quickly if we are to make the surface in time—"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do you even have the ingredients?"

Stroud looked over at me, "You know we keep the most special ingredient in the safest of places."

I looked back at Carver, looked really closely at him as he was telling Hawke to take care of mother. "He won't make it to the surface to wherever you've stashed the goods. We need to do this now."

"Do you think I carry that shit on me?" Stroud growled. "We can make it."

My eyes blazed black as I snapped toward him. I stood up to my full height, while it may not have been the tallest, it made him step back. "The taint has spread too much. The surface is too far. Unless you can get to it in less than an hour, then he won't _make _it."

"Sister?" Carver weakly called to me.

My eyes softened as I turned to him. My decision made; there was only one way to do this. And I knew what it meant.

_Fenris forgive me_.

I locked eyes with Hawke, "Go. I've got this. Carver needs me right now. Please tell…" I couldn't even finish the sentence. My heart stopped my tongue. My brother nodded at my wordless request, kissed me on the forehead, "Come back when you're ready," then left with the other two. Varric looked at me sadly, but promised when we saw it each other again, he'd have bunch of stories for me.

Isabela didn't even look back; not that I wanted her to.

Once they were gone, I bent down, and took of my boot. Master was always insistent that we have secret compartments all over our clothes. And I knew I would go nowhere without my boots. Armor changed, but my boots? I've never found any better.

On the left side of my right boot, I pressed my finger to the side. I trailed it down just enough for a small line the size of my longest finger with a bit of my Lyrium magic. When it opened, a small parchment came out.

I unfolded it. Two Runes were before me. One held documents I needed as a Warden, and the other contained the blood.

I bit my thumb, pressed the bloodied digit to the Rune, and a light flashed. Out came a string of black and red vials.

Stroud hissed. "You've had Archdemon blood _on you _all this time?"

I nodded as I pulled one off. I went into my potions pouch for an empty vial and started to pour some blood into it. I reSealed the blood and held out my hand. Stroud had already collected some of the Darkspawn blood around us.

"How do you know how to do this? Only the higher ranked Wardens know…"

"Do you remember Warden's Keep?" when he nodded, I continued, "That alchemist mage is still alive. Elissa and I came across him during the Blight. I've learned a lot from him. He had a small supply, but I never touched it. In fact, I helped replace some since we killed the Archdemon. You will not believe some of his experiments. I think now he's working on reducing the Calling."

After I mixed with a few other things, Stroud helped brace Carver as I helped my brother drink the vile mix of blood.

"I'll be here when you wake, my little Lath."

~WAR~

Translations:

Lath: love in ancient Elven

Amatus: Beloved in Tevene

Black Rose: Death


	9. DA:II Intermission 2 Fenris & Sebastian

**Moon Says**: This one is to the same reviewer, Seele Zeit, but for two reviews of the too-many-adjectives-could-describe Fenris! I ended up combining the two oneshots for my favorite guys. I felt that they went together, and I had a hard time trying to figure out who goes first, so I just said to heck with it and made it a one kind of deal. Sorry for the wait; you won't believe the trouble I've had trying to do this. Later chapters, DA:I, come to my head, but DA:2? Nope. I will warn you; after the next chapter, I am going to screw with you all by doing something insane for DA:2 &amp; DA:I. But, really, I'm sorry for the long wait. I had planned to do this in December, but family stuff came up and then Thesis stuff. My goodness, this is a lot harder than I thought. I've got almost all of **Intervention** done (just a little bit left to do, Guado anyone?), and TotG, well, it's got 1 chapter done and the other halfway done. I ended up writing too much (I didn't have my outline, so I didn't know where to stop). I mean, I could combine it all into one chapter, but I don't know. I'll figure it out.

_**WARNING**_: Just remember, this Elf-past stuff I had it all figured out BEFORE the DLC Trespasser and NO ONE SPOIL! I haven't done any of it yet. I just know that some of my ideas are actually canon-facts because I was brushing up on some Elven God stuff, and saw it by accident. As always, I'm creatively taking what is in the games, and, not only doing it my way, but using what I have been given and explain stuff that confuses me.

**Chapter 2:** Fenris just heard that entire conversation, didn't he?

**Chapter 6:** I really like the protective/possessive Fenris... it intrigues me.

**Written/Posted/Edited**: over months in and out (like Oct)/ 27 Feb 2016

**Pages/Words**: 24/10, 076

Enjoy!

**The Wolf and the Raven: Fenris &amp; Sebastian **

~**Fenris**~

The elf that had been beyond abused in his life couldn't blame that infuriating, constant pain in his ass, needy woman for throwing his life into all this chaos.

By the Creator, he couldn't leave her either. Everything inside of him wanted her, to keep her close and never let her out of his sight—even if she was fucking someone that wasn't him.

He had made his choice, all those years ago, and he wouldn't ever regret it…even if he couldn't ever be with her sexually.

_That was before,_ a small voice echoed in his thoughts.

He wouldn't leave her, especially since she was healing him. She always did that, always saving him, always keeping him on is path, _true to himself_.

Like his fellow Guardians felt and thought, coming to her _protected_ them. It kept them whole, and if they ever strayed from who they are, she brought them back and kept them on track.

Fenris had been lost before seeing her in Starkhaven. All that shit with his former master had been too much for him, and he was barely holding on. Even though that botched ritual had begun to break the Seal that kept his true self locked away, it still wasn't enough.

No, it was _her_ that brought his true self out. Just like she did before everything became complicated—before he lost her. Before he failed her, and they all suffered.

Mora, his Raven, made everything worse and so much better.

She was confliction incarnated. And he was loving every second of it.

She had him wanting to run to stop this, what was going on between them, from getting deeper, more painful. That was the slave in him. Hating the power she had over him—even more so that she tried _not_ to nor did she _want _it, or, the worst, she _didn't_ know it.

Yes. Her not knowing exactly the power she had over him made this entire situation worse. He didn't know what to do—he knew how to handle the Mages like Denarius, but not like Raven…not like her at all.

This damn struggle between Guardian and Slave was getting to be too much for him, and he knew he was going to have to choose. Because, otherwise, the former slave was going to hurt her beyond repair.

That was something he _**never **_wanted to do.

But Fenris' own confliction between his two selves—a consequence and punishment for his sins, his failure, was going to tear everyone apart.

He wasn't the only one with problems.

Sometimes, he would see her own confliction, and it wasn't helping her.

It was clear that they wanted—no, that was too tame a word. Need. Ache. Crave. what had once been forbidden to them.

It took everything he had not to go beyond those few kisses or do more than hold her while they were in his bed together. The old him wanted nothing more than to indulge in her willing body, but the shadow of their sins and the _Wolf_ haunted them. Not to mention the weariness of their present selves.

Sacrificial Raven and Guardian or the Assassin and the Slave.

Give in or don't?

Duty or victim?

Fenris sighed as all his thoughts cleared only to reassemble on a job they had been out on before she went into the Deep Roads _without him_ that not only almost killed her but caused a huge fight between them. A fight that probably would have destroyed her damaged self.

She looked to him for guidance—a balance between her true selves.

The paranoid and overprotective Guardian or the no compromising and beyond damaged former slave?

Where were the others when they needed them? Where was their compass? The leader, one who was clear in their duty to their people? Or the neutral but cautious one? All she had was him—the one full of intense, endless anger that saw no lines? Only the one in black and white?

~WAR~

It started when she was tying up loose ends the few days before she went into the Deep Roads, and one of those loose ends ended up being a missing Templar.

On her way to the Chantry to impress the dangers onto them about fucking with the Qunari, his little assassin got distracted.

Again.

At least it wasn't the shiny archer again…then again, if Fenris had known how things would have turned out, he'd prefer that male over any others. Especially this woman, the one his beloved had to help and who landed them in a mess that caused a huge argument between the two of them that Fenris _knew_ was the reason why Raven didn't fight for him to come with them in the Deep Roads. A place where he had a sinking feeling that she needed him. She'd never say it or even think it, but he knew deep inside of him that after this fuck up, she needed space from him.

After all, while being so caught up in who he _was_, either one of them, he forgot who he _is_. Someone who had forgotten just who she _was_ and _now_. It was their punishment; they had to live with more of a duality now. Before, they could be their true selves, but now their true selves were tainted but not _tainted_ with the current them.

And here now was that she still helped others even if he preferred to take her away and never let her near other people.

But she was, and this was her lot in life—forced was she bound to her people. If they needed her, she came, well, not running, but close enough.

Fenris never could decide how he truly felt about her always helping others. On one hand, he was a really possessive bastard, but on the other hand, how would he feel if he needed help and no one did anything?

Well, ex-slave-Fenris knew all about that didn't he?

Memory-Fenris only knew that once he heard her call, her desperation, something inside of him broke, and he _had_ to find her and take away her what she was feeling, her Anguish. After all, isn't that what they were supposed to do? Help those on the other side? Fear was always on the edge of those dreaming, always helping take away what it could. Or was it Nightmare? Fenris always had trouble identifying the others.

There his Raven went.

The woman was clearly distraught when they came near her, enough to make Raven pause. Apparently, this woman's brother had joined the Templars and had gone missing.

"He could be on a mission that requires him to leave the city," Raven tried to assure the young woman, calm her down at least while giving her a plausible answer, but the woman tossed it aside.

"He wouldn't have left without telling me!"

Raven took a breath before letting it out. It was clear she was in the mood to suffer idiots. "Yes, he would have. When you join the Templars, or any Order or Guild, it becomes your life. If your Commander calls for you to leave immediately, you do so and, most likely, ask no questions. You don't say, "I have to go tell my sister first."

The woman looked close to tears, and Fenris found it hard to care especially when he knew this was going to be trouble for him and Raven. Besides, he had an urge to see the Shiny Archer. Honestly, he'd rather be fuming inside from jealousy and possessiveness than listen to this woman who obviously didn't really know the world. "The Commander—it's her fault! Knight-Commander Meredith has something to do with this, I know it."

Raven sighed before agreeing to look into this matter.

Probably just to get the woman to shut up.

She said nothing as they made their way to the docks. Before they left Lowtown, the dwarf stopped them at the Hanged Man and passed onto them the Blood Mage.

Fenris did not want the other elf anywhere near him or his charge. Yes. Especially near her. Even more so, he did _not_ want to take a Mage (of any kind, especially one that his charge mistakenly felt responsible for) to the Gallows.

In fact, to put it bluntly, he didn't want his charge anywhere near a situation that could hurt her.

Templars. In his old home, the Templars were useless, but here, they actually had power to protect people from Mages.

While those Templars couldn't sense his Raven, so she said, he trusted no one. Fenris didn't like the Templar either.

The one that touched _his _Raven.

While it was convenient that said Templar, that Fenris did not like, made sure the Templars knew that they were supposed to help her—it was also annoying as well.

Yes, Fenris was not at all happy with being here with her with present company let alone future company.

Silence took them over until they reached a Templar, Hugh, who was quite upfront when questioned due to his concern for his friend. Though he did look hesitant when they got to a certain point, not because he did not want to help, but because it was due to who he was accusing. "I'm worried that Knight-Commander Meredith is forcing new recruits to undergo some ritual."

His two Templar friends quickly cut in. "Ignore, Hugh. Knight-Commander Meredith would be the last to do the sort of rituals he is talking about. She's one of the most devoted and true Templar that exists!"

"Then how do you explain that some recruits are found dead? The rumor is if their dedication isn't strong enough, their failure means their death."

The Templar to the left looked uncomfortable, as if he couldn't refute what his friend said, but then the other Templar, female, who defended Meredith before, spoke up "If that _rumor_ is true, Wilmond wouldn't have come back alive. Remember that bet that was going on about him dropping out or not being accepted?"

The uncomfortable male nodded quickly, loving that he had a way out, and replied, "Wilmond left to clear his head. He has a camp just outside of Kirkwall."

Raven nodded, turned around, and headed for the boats that would take her back to Kirkwall and toward this Templar's camp.

On the boat, Fenris had to comment about what he heard from the Templar. "Initiation Ritual?"

The red and black haired woman turned to him, blinked as if she was trying to focus. When she did, she could see that Fenris wasn't too happy. Fenris' Raven only sighed. "If you're asking if there was a ritual with magic done, I will say I don't believe it. Templars don't do that shit."

"Would it be so bad? Would it not join the two together and create some sort of understanding, a peace between them?" the Blood Mage asked in all her ignorance.

Fenris had forgotten about her which only increased his rage. Look what she was doing to him! Forgetting Mages when they were right next to him.

But she belonged to him, so even if she increased his ire, she was still his. And that, if he was honest with himself, was why he was mostly angered.

She was refusing to believe that Templars could be corrupted? All because of—

"Cullen wouldn't be a part of that. Not after what happened in the Circle in Ferelden," her eyes grew distant as the memories resurfaced for her.

She belonged to him! And here she was absorbed in another man. A man whom she had been with that _was not him_ in a den full of monstrous threats. Without him to protect her. Guide her into not giving into mercy.

Yet, that was his function: to discourage her connection to others, and, if she ignored him, to protect her from them.

Mercy was a luxury that they could not afford, and he'd be damned if he lost her because of it.

~WAR~

It took a few hours, but they made it to the campsite only to find her _beloved _(no he wasn't snarky or broody or jealous) Cullen threatening and beating the shit out of the recruit for information. His willingness to get to the truth, attempt to protect whom he could, and his violent approach made some part of the hate Fenris had for him leave.

Just a little. Not enough to make a difference, though.

Fenris would be a big enough of a man to give him prompts about the lack of mercy—if only the Templar wasn't trying to take what belonged to Fenris.

"He's weak, so the threatening approach is a good one," his charge commented after she had watched enough.

Fenris thought the same, but he'd never admit it.

"This is Templar business, stranger—"

"Stranger?" Raven interrupted and questioned as Cullen turned around. "Well, a couple of decades worth of acquaintance makes me a stranger?"

Too long of an acquaintance if Fenris had any say.

"Mora," Cullen only shook his head with a small smile before he snapped back around to defend himself as the Templar recruit turned into a Demon."

"No magic?" Fenris mocked as he leaned up against the cliffside rock next to him fully indicating he would _not _be fighting.

"Oh no, a Demon. Someone needs to teach the Templars that if they are going to interact with Spirits, they need to learn which ones are bad," the Blood Mage commented before drawing out her staff.

Fenris saw something snap in his Raven. It was a hardness that he enjoyed seeing in her. She would do this when she was going for a kill or to send them back beyond the Veil. This was the Raven with no mercy.

The Veil was too thick for the old Trick to work, so all thrusting her hand at the Demon did was shove it back into the wall of stone behind it.

When the Demon got up, it shook in fear, "It's you! One of the _Old Ones_, Have mercy, please. I just wanted to be free. Surely, you of all others can understand this!"

Raven's eyes hardened and a hint of anger entered them. "Sorry, wrong one for Mercy," she sneered. She still wasn't over what the _Wolf_ had done to her. Good. It would protect her from him when he came crawling back to her. "You do not belong over here. Why else would you have to destroy another for your so called freedom? Be _gone_!"

Her power, her Fade-Soul Song, washed over him, and he briefly closed his eyes to bask in it. It always made him feel peaceful and full of rage.

Balance. Nothing else could describe her better.

When he opened his eyes, Fenris was back on guard. The Demon was dead, but there were still threats in the Templar and the Blood Mage that surrounded him and his Raven. Not that she saw it, but that was what he was there for, right?

The other elf fell to her knees, and Fenris wasn't sure how he felt about this new worship-like relationship between the two females that just came about. He guessed the elf figured out just who his Raven was, and he found himself not really caring. Why? Because he knew beyond of a shadow of a doubt that the female elf would die for his Raven.

But that also brought up the whole, the Blood Mage would probably do whatever she thought necessary to protect Raven, even if it was Blood Magic. Something else to think about for a different time.

No, what was more surprising and pressing was the fact the Templar ignored Raven's burst of magic as if he was either used to it or just didn't care. Or, could the Templar not have sensed it?

"I knew he was involved in something sinister, but this…is this even possible?"

Too occupied with his own shit to care about the impossible woman in front of him.

"It should be because abominations…Mage…" Raven trailed off as she thought. "The Veil is weakened in Kirkwall, but for this? It doesn't happen naturally. Maybe the ritual they keep talking about….is it a forced bonding? But how is that possible?"

Suddenly, Fenris was on guard as something passed over her. A forbearing. As she was Death, and Death was external, sometimes she'd get an inkling of things not passed. He just prayed to the Creator that this shit stopped, and the knowledge didn't get passed around.

The last time this happened was before the whore was murdered and everything went to shit.

Fenris prayed that this was not another event that fucked with the Beyond, Void, Veil, and this world. They sacrificed too much last time.

"So, still believe no magic in this ritual?"

His words were toward the Templar now. His Raven only raised an eyebrow to show that she caught it, but he could tell that she didn't care. Not when the natural order was changing.

That was something that they took seriously.

Fenris took what he could especially when Cullen, apparently, caught onto his mocking and paused briefly as he looked between the two of them causing Fenris to smirk.

Fenris won.

Though he didn't gloat much because Cullen only took a few seconds to look at them and try and figure out what happened before he continued on.

"Meredith isn't doing any ritual—"

Fenris snorted. "Because Meredith isn't corruptible."

Cullen growled. "The initiation has no magic. It is only a vigil the recruit takes over night, and the most danger they have is falling asleep."

Raven raised her hand for silence.

"Amatus, ne esca eum. Amusing ut primum autem oportet ut proficiscantur. Si hoc fiat, tunc oportet quod iam cessavit . Magis oportet considerare quid hoc esset."

"That's not Antivian, how many languages do you know?" Cullen questioned before he shook his head, distracted, and focused back on the danger around them.

"Wilmond and Keran were last seen at the Blooming Rose. Will you go and solve this?" he blushed as he spoke of the whore establishment.

Raven grinned evilly. "Still the virgin? I will go and question the ladies of the establishment, pet, since you are uncomfortable."

Fenris did not like this teasing nor the 'pet' at the end.

So was _his_, damnit!

"We need to leave, then," Fenris spoke as he stepped away from the cliffside rock wall and started back down the path to the city.

He made sure to keep her in his sights. Their eyes locked, and she nodded.

His Raven knew what he wanted, and she was gone before the Templar could try something else.

Slave-Fenris was getting overwhelmed again with all the possessiveness he felt for her. He was getting used to the feelings she invoked in him, but this shit with Cullen and others like him wasn't helping.

Slave-Fenris had come to terms with the months together with Raven and her belonging to him. Maybe it was his other self helping with that, but he was accepting that he could finally have something. He was free and was allowed to be with someone if he chose.

His former master wasn't going to control him anymore. _She _was _his_. She didn't belong to Cullen or anyone else. So why was she testing him?

Was she testing him?

He knew he often found it adorable that she didn't realize things but was this one of those instances? His mind went back to earlier memories. No, it wasn't on purpose, but that made it worse.

She wasn't paying attention to him; instead, she was giving attention to others. Other _males._

That made his rage boil.

~WAR~

"What is this place?" the Blood Mage questioned uneasily.

Raven paused before she turned to look at the female elf. His Raven looked unsure of how to respond, which amused him, before shrugging and diving right now. "This is a place where people come in for sex. They pay for it, and someone will fuck them."

Raven started to go in as the words left her mouth. It only took a few seconds before the Blood Mage responded with, "Oh, Isabela comes here often. Do you know so much from her or do you come here often too?"

The simple question and what a positive answer meant only added to Fenris' rage. He didn't like her familiarity with this place, but his rage was calmed, somewhat due to the knowledge that she was untouched.

His.

Fenris kept to his silence, though, and followed her in. Raven certainly knew how the place worked because she quickly got the information that she wanted. He did snort when his Raven half threatened and half promised protection against Meredith if said Knight-Commander found out that this place was connected with the disappearance of her Templars as well as a possible magic connection.

As soon as they entered the whore's room, the one with the information they needed, both he and Raven could practically smell the Blood Magic let alone feel it. It made him feel disgusted and filthy, too much reminding him of the time the former master of Slave-Fenris.

Unfortunately for the idiot Blood Mage-whore, they were _very_ sensitive to magic as well as the Fade (which comes hand and hand with magic; unfortunately for Fenris, it took meeting Raven and her awakening his old gifts for him to able to sense magic again).

'I do not work with three at a time, but if you're willing to pay to watch—"

"Oh, shut it whore," Raven rolled her eyes, "We're here about some Templars that you've led astray."

Fenris wasn't sure about what he was seeing or hearing when the whore decided to respond with seduction. The whore was trying to distract his Raven with sex. There was no jealously only disgust. Raven was not impressed and neither was he.

Maybe it was good for her to grow with manwhore so that she desensitize to this shit. Fenris trusted that she wouldn't succumb to the whore.

The Shiny Archer was a different story he had no doubt.

Fenris steeled himself and fought off the wave of Blood Magic that the Mage-Whore sent through the room in response to his Raven's refusal to be distracted.

Slave-Fenris wouldn't have been able to throw it off (let alone sense it earlier), but Past-Fenris would have shrugged it off as the stronger you were, the less the magic of others, especially non-him type others, affected you.

The Hybrid-Fenris had to struggle, but he was able to fight off the foreign magic.

Raven looked annoyed when he turned back to her.

"Take the knife out of the sheath on your leg and slit your throat."

Raven took it out and almost slit the bitch's throat.

"You're going to tell me what I want to know. If I don't like your answer, the throat I'll be slitting will be _yours._"

That he liked.

A little too much

The Mage-whore spilled all her secrets. Templar disruption, possessed Templars, future bloodbath, and all she knew about the process was that she sent Templars to them and a few came back with others who gave her instructions.

When she was done confessing, Raven slit her throat.

The Blood Mage in their party didn't like that.

"I didn't like what she said," Raven answered. "Besides, she used Blood Magic against me—to hurt me and mine," Raven locked eyes with the other female. "Death was her punishment."

The shaking elf nodded, bowed her head in a respectful way.

Good.

Raven picked apart the room and found a location, just to make sure that the bitch wasn't lying to save her life. "So she was telling the truth, huh. Darktown, yay," was her sarcastic reply.

Darktown.

The abomination.

Fenris' rage rose again. He was not happy. At all.

~WAR~

They traded the Blood Mage for Raven's brother. Good. Fenris was of the opinion that fighting Mages is better with swords not staffs.

The dwarf decided that Fenris' Raven needed an Archer on her side—that is when he found out what they were doing.

Fenris knew it was because the dwarf was bored, but more than that, though, Varric was worried.

Possession, forced at that, for non-magic users? He should be.

Archer's weren't a bad addition. Again, better than having a staff at his back.

The group made their way silently through the infested place wiping out any shade, Demon, or abomination they came across.

There was no trouble to be had until they made it to the Templar—the one that was suspended in the air…in a cocoon.

A freaking cocoon.

As soon as Fenris and his party entered and noticed the Templar in the magic cocoon, the woman underneath it sent someone away before turning to them.

Standard Blood Mage hates Templars, and said Mage wants to hurt them as much as possible in revenge.

Fenris wasn't surprised or amused, but he was beyond disturbed.

"How the fuck are you getting Demons into those who do not have magic?" Raven demanded.

Yes, this was something they needed to know if the Veil was allowing this to happen…after what they did…something was wrong, and they were probably fucked.

It wasn't like in the past where everyone had magic and everyone was a potential case for possession; now, there were people who were born without access to magic.

Like Raven.

Another fucked up thing in this world.

The bad Blood Mage laughed. "You don't care about my plot against the Templars. You only care about my magic. So refreshing. The rumors must be true about you being a hidden Mage. Join me, help me deal this blow to the horrid Templars, and I'll tell you everything you want to know and more. You're connection to the Knight-Captain will be of great use to us."

Fenris hated that his Raven was wanted because of her connection to Cullen, something he wished didn't exist even if it was helpful, but more than that, if there was a rumor going around that she was a Mage…they were in trouble.

The question was how did people know? She never used magic when anyone was around. Not even everyone that Hawke ran around with knew.

Raven only sighed. "It's Mages like you who use your magic to hurt others that make me believe more in the use of Templars."

The Blood Mage was infuriated, "If you won't join me, then you'll just be more vessels! If you can't be used, then we will do like we have with this one and draw power from you."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she started to summon shades as well as some of her people started to come out of the walls and transformed into abominations. There were at least three that decided to stay human.

Carver and Fenris immediately set on the Mages. Raven went straight for the bitch who did all this.

Raven was like a Furie. Her blades slashed and diced, and the damage she did to the bitch wasn't going to kill her. Cutting off body parts won't kill someone unless the blood loss becomes significant. Raven cut off her head before she got to that point, but his charge made the blood Mage suffer.

The Archer worked in complete sync with his beloved and next they took out the abominations. Taking out Mages who didn't know how to fight warriors that knew how to fight them didn't take long. In fact, Fenris and Carver started in on the abominations before Raven and Varric did.

When they killed them all, Varric started looting bodies while Raven stared at the floating body.

"Can you get him out, Sister?"

Fenris could tell Raven was analyzing the entire thing, feeling it out, trying to see how it worked.

"Very fragile it is, one touch and it's broken," she murmured after staring at it for a while. Then she went and touched it.

_Fool_, Fenris thought. What if that bitch had something in place to stop someone but her from getting the boy out? He wanted to believe that she wouldn't touch it without knowing for sure, but usually when something like this happened, she always tested it with her magic unless she knew that touching it with magic was bad.

Fenris wanted to shake her. Did she really have any idea what would happen if she touched the cocoon?

He'd have to believe that she did.

The boy fell down but quickly righted himself. "Is…is it over?"

Raven nodded before asking if his name was Keran.

"Yes, that's my name. Thank the Maker. I thought He abandoned me."

"Sister, you need to check him over to make sure that Blood Mage was telling the truth. We need to know if he had a Demon inside of him or not," Carver insisted.

The boy didn't even hear him. "The cage is open, thank Andraste."

Raven looked at Fenris, and he knew what she was thinking. Figure out if he had a Demon in him or get the information first. Fenris knew what they needed to do, but he didn't like it. He rather the threat is eliminated first.

He huffed and turned his head away from her, clearly letting her know that he did not agree with what they should do.

"What happened, Keran?"

The boy started shaking. "I don't know. One minute I was in the Blooming Rose with Idunna, and the next, I'm surrounding by Mages, and….one lady wasn't happy, then I'm in the cage and being drained. Please don't tell the Templars about what happened," the boy begged.

"He needs to be checked, Raven," Varric said. "We can't let him go back to the Templars if he has a Demon in him."

"I don't! I swear. Oh, Maker help me," Keran whimpered.

Raven's face hardened, and, as she walked up to him, she drew her knife and sliced his arm. The pussy cried out.

Fenris could feel her magic go over the blood, and she tilted her head as she looked from it to the boy. Within a second, she sent a spell at him. A spell Fenris knew targeted only abominations and Demons.

The boy flinched, but he felt no pain.

"Was that supposed to do something?" he questioned hesitantly.

Raven sighed before she said, "He's clean. I detect no Demons in his blood or in his body."

While the boy sighed in relief, Fenris growled. "And what if it is dormant? What if the damn thing is slowly forming? You _know_ that sometimes a Demon doesn't register in the body quickly. Sometimes it takes days, months, years for it to manifest. Kill him or turn him over to the Templars."

The boy begged and whimpered, but neither Fenris nor Raven heard him.

"He is clean," she insisted. "He has already been through so much—"

"And if the Demon manifests later and kills? That is on you. The chaos, the bad kind, that ensues, that is on _you_. What do you think will happen if the world finds out that a Templar can be possessed? Even one with no training. The ramifications that a non-Mage can be possessed will take this already fractured world and make it worse! Kill him, Din'an. If you will not, I will." Fenris glared at her fiercely, making sure she understood what was going on here.

If she wasn't willing to do what it took to protect this world (her job and not her job at the same time) then he would.

He had made a vow long ago that he would protect her. That he would make sure that she wasn't tainted, that by trying to protect this world she didn't destory herself.

It wouldn't be the first time he'd save her from herself and that curse of helping people.

Raven went from confused to hurt. "Don't you trust me?"

That was a low blow from her. Slave-Fenris didn't trust anyone, and he was just starting to trust her. So far, when it came to Mages, she had always made the right decisions. But now? There was a chance that the boy could manifest later on, and he wasn't taking that chance.

He stayed here in Kirkwall, mostly for her, but also because he knew if he stayed and worked with her and Hawke that could make a difference. Even if it was a small one, but maybe they could staunch the open wound here in Kirkwall that the Mages and corruption of magic cause.

But this…this chance she was taking was a foolish one.

"Trust has no place here. What matters is that there is a chance that your reading could change in time. It has happened before, and I'm not taking the chance," Fenris said with a heavy heart, knowing that this was going to hurt her and put distance between them.

In the end, it was always them were sacrificed.

Fenris raised his sword, and, before the frightened kid could move, the male elf swung to cut his head off.

His blade didn't connect with flesh because Raven had blocked with her own swords. The weight he put behind his blade made her struggle, not to mention her blades weren't in a reverse position.

She was serious.

And he had almost taken her head off. If she hadn't been able to stop his blade or was even a fraction of a second late in raising her blades…he'd have killed her.

When Fenris looked at her, all he could see in her face was that she struggled under the weight of the blade but nothing else. Even her tone and voice was even as she told Keran to leave.

When he was gone, they put down their blades, and Fenris couldn't find the words or emotions to describe what he was feeling.

After a few minutes of silence, Raven spoke. "This isn't the first time blood will be on my hands, and it won't be the last," she snorted. "At this point, I don't think I'll really be able to tell the difference if anymore is added," she paused for a second before looking at Fenris "You forget, I think, when your lost in your duty and your memories, about mine."

Raven sheathed her blades, turned slightly away from him. "You forget the other part of my nature."

Then she turned her back to him completely and took the stairs leading out of this Voidhole.

All Fenris could think about he followed behind his other two companions that he was so fucking angry with her for letting the boy go, but also, those thoughts lead to the ones where he was afraid he had lost her this time.

That maybe Slave-Fenris was too tainted by his experience with magic and Mages that Memory-Fenris forgot his duty.

Or maybe Slave-Fenris made him forget just what she was and who she was. That sometimes she had to do things she didn't like or didn't want to. Not that he knew what she wanted to do in his situation.

He knew what she _had_ to do.

And for the next day, while he was holed up in his stolen mansion, Fenris spiraled deeper and deeper in a sort of rage-despair when he started to remember more and more of just who she was.

Death. Life.

Giver. Taker.

Good. Evil.

Balance. Chaos.

Honestly, he used to know why she did the things. Fenris knew what side was controlling her.

But now? He didn't know shit.

Because he was in too much confliction with himself.

And now, he had pushed her away. Instead of guarding her, helping her, and taking the burden from her, he only seemed to make it worse.

Fortunately for him, her brothers had noticed that she hadn't been doing too well either with what happened, so they forced them together. Carver and Hawke went off on one last job, and Fenris and Raven spent the last day before the Deep Roads together coming to terms with the fact that they had changed.

For truly the first time, the both of them were starting to finally realize just what they had lost and exactly what had changed within themselves.

Even if it almost tore them apart, what happened was needed. This job, that decision, their quarrel showed the both of them and shoved it right in their faces that things couldn't go back to the way it was before they had ripped open the barrier only to seal it back tighter than ever. Before they had saved the world by betraying the very ones they were trying to punish and save at the same time.

Things were different. _They _were different.

He was no longer what and who he was. Now he was a Hybrid of the Past and Slave-Fenris. Just like she was his Din'an and the Assassin Mora.

It was time they finally started to fully come to terms with this hybrid version of themselves because if they didn't, then they would do worse than having a fight that could break them up.

Something much, much worse.

~~**Sebastian**~~

Once, this outcast Prince of Starkhaven had returned to the Chantry of his own free will and decided that the Chantry and life confined within its walls and rules was the life he wanted for himself, and Sebastian had not truly doubted his choice. It was not easy to trade a life with no restrictions, consequences, and freedom to one that was very confined, constricted, and limited what he could do, not do, and (most importantly), Maker help him, the regret and guilt of his past actions was so damn consuming.

_The guilt of never saying anything, letting _him_ hurt her over and over. The regret of leaving her alone, living a half in and out life because there was no way she had enough power left over to send them all three (let alone herself) into the stream. Yet, he let her do it anyway. _They _let her do it anyway; _they _failed her._

That came after he had studied the Chant of Light and started to truly understand it and change. His old wonton lifestyle was not one Sebastian ended up being proud of. Sure, he had ample experience as a Rogue and lover, but what did it cost him for those skills? How many women had he manipulated, seduced, broken their hearts, and Maker knew what else? Though one thing he was very sure of was that he had not gotten any of them with child. The Archer had been damn sure that couldn't have happened.

_She _would have killed him if he did…not to mention what she would have inflicted on the women for dare touching what was hers… There were times he loved her possessive nature, but he always wanted more than what he, they, had with her. But, like the others, the Archer buried those feelings of longing deep in his soul, so fucking deep, he knew these feelings were forever _imprinted on his soul_.

Once he started to understand why his old life wasn't a good one and the hurt he knew he caused, that was when the regret and guilt came in. It was only by completely diving into the Chantry and his faith in the Maker and Andraste that brought him some form of relief. The Maker forgives all.

Sebastian hadn't doubted his vows or his commitment to the Chantry…until some woman broke into the Chantry not intended to steal anything…but she stole something all right.

She had stolen Sebastian's attention, his mind…and, though he was going to deny it and refuse to think about it for days, months, and probably years to come, his heart.

Of course, Sebastian's attention wasn't the only thing that had been taken by her…but there was also his peace. All he could think about wasn't his duties, not the Chant, Chantry, the Sisters, or anyone in the Chantry but _her. _

The Exiled Prince even thought he had seen her around Kirkwall. Sebastian played it off as the desperation of wanting to see her. He even dreamed, during the middle of the day, that she had been inside the Chantry!

When he saw her around the city, the woman that had stolen his sanity (as he was beginning to think) wasn't with the elf he had seen that night. One Sebastian was certain wanted to sleep with him.

Not that he had anything against sleeping with men…it wouldn't have been the first time…damn it all! Vows. Andraste! Temptations be gone!

_Fuck Andraste_, a part of him that started coming up when he saw that woman…assassin. If he wanted her, then he would fantasize about her until he could have he would have her.

He had paid close attention to the girl every time he saw her or imagined seeing her. The first time was with an elf he didn't know, but every other time was with an elf he _did _know. One he knew quite intimately.

Sebastian shook his head and tried to force those thoughts out of his head. How could he think something like that? Fuck Andraste? His faith was being tested, that was all there was to this. The Maker had sent him this Demon…no, she wasn't a Demon…far from it. If she was anything, could she be like the being he heard from some of the children around the city? An angel?

No…she wasn't an angel. Angels were supposed to be pure beings, pure Light. While she was pure something, she wasn't pure Light. No, that woman had a lot of darkness inside her.

He had seen it in her eyes when they met. There was a dark insanity deep inside of her that she controlled and buried deep.

Almost like this new side of him that he kept noticing emerging out of him ever since he met this small bunch of Chaos.

Yes. Forget Light and Dark, she was Chaos. Pure and simple.

And she was driving him absolutely mad.

_Oh, little heart, what are you doing to me?_

Sebastian didn't know what to do. He had tossed his roguish life behind him when he committed and _chose _the Chantry, but she was, without even trying, drawing it out of him. Why else would he have forsaken his vows for revenge?

No, not revenge. Retribution. There was a difference between the two. Just like Revenge, Justice, and Vengeance. Retribution was Chaos. It was a balance. Justice was a big ideological mess. Vengeance was aimless attacking that hurt not just one's enemy but yourself and those around you. Revenge, to him, just seemed like a childish pursuit. Someone wronged me, and I'm going to get back at them. Justice tried to act like it was above everyone and keep emotions out of the mess and try and be right. But, really, in the end, none of them were the way to go.

Retribution was deep. It wasn't madness or emotionless or childish. It was a blend of everything. It was balance. Retribution was having your eyes open. It meant understanding that your enemy will get what is coming to them, but you weren't going to come out clean either. It meant knowing that you were dirtying your own soul, but you were aware of it. There were consequences, and you accepted them, were aware of them. You weren't blind to everything around you, not seeing anything except what's right in front of you—sometimes not even that. You saw the damage, prepared for it, accepted it.

Stains on your soul.

And she had dirtied herself for him.

Sebastian remembered the day she came to him, not that long ago, with the news of those mercenaries. As soon as she stepped foot in the Chantry, he _felt _her. The Archer was afraid that, at first, she was illusion, once again, but when he turned around and saw her as well as felt her soul brushed against his, he knew she was real.

No, he _heard _her first. A song that was lost but found at the same time.

As she walked toward him, he noticed the Elf that he _did_ know with her. Sebastian saw, more than heard, the Elf whisper something to her. His stomach tightened, jealousy, something he was all too familiar with when it came to her, started to make its way through his body before he took a breath and released it. He had no need to be jealous of the Elf—if anyone should be jealous it was her, after all, she was the only one that hadn't—

"We're here for the Shiny Archer. We got all that shit to do when we get to Lowtown preparing for the stupid Deep Roads thingie, so I figured this was our last chance to talk with the Shiny Prince," her voice was just as soft as he remembered it.

Honestly, though, he wasn't sure how he felt about being called shiny. Though, a part of Sebastian wasn't surprised at all that she called him such or identified him with that word. It always amused him and the others that she was attracted to shiny and sparkly things. They had let her get away with it too, until, that is, it almost got him killed.

The Archer remembered that his beloved was so focused on getting her hands on the shiny that all else didn't exist. Usually, this childish behavior, out of her of all people, was extremely funny, but when she didn't even notice that there was not only a weapon flying out her at high speeds but also a magic attack, no doubt one of an explosive sort, as well. That is when they had a problem. The Archer had been the only one close enough, and all he could do was use his own body as a shield—

"So, hello again," the little Raven cut off his thoughts as she was close and waved to him.

Sebastian couldn't help but tease her. "Not here to sneak in and not steal something, I take it?"

The girl blinked for a second and then blushed; the Exiled Prince had a feeling she didn't do that too often. Behind her to the right he saw the elf paying close attention to both of them, but just like with Sebastian, he was feeling a little bit jealous.

"Right, no, so that means don't be knocking and pinning me down." Well, if that didn't almost send the elf into a rage, then the Archer conceded that his fellow Guardian had gotten better with his temper.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that the…umm…idiots who did bad things that you posted the poster for are all dead." Raven seemed to lose her mind for a second, something that made Sebastian sad and happy at the same time, for it meant that she hadn't changed much, and then looked him straight in the eyes and he could have sworn one was black now. "Your Retribution has only started."

Then, with a nod, she turned to leave before he stopped her with one word, "Why?"

She paused with a half turn and truly thought about it for the first time. Why had she helped out the prince? She looked to her right and her eyes softened as she took in her elf companion before looking back at him with one eye gold and one eye black as the Void.

"I did it for you. I would burn the world—" she stopped as if her mind blanked again, and shrugged, "I'd prefer for it to end with ice, but, well, we'll see when we get there, yay?"

Sebastian the Chantry Brother could not understand why this woman would stain her soul for him, add to the blood already there, but the other part of him, the one that threw himself in front of her body ready to die to keep her alive, understood.

Then she left, telling him if he needed her, to call on her. But he couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything but be amazed that this woman would embrace Death and Darkness for him. And by the look on the elf's face, Sebastian knew he wasn't the only one.

The devotion he felt for this woman was staggering let alone the rest of the emotions she managed to ignite in him. What he wanted, with every fiber of his being, was to return the favor.

Love her, worship her, never leave her side, fuck her within an inch of her life so she wouldn't leave him, couldn't. He'd rather be a mistake, one she couldn't walk away from—

No, Andraste was the one he devoted himself to. For the Maker's sake, was she not his bride?

But the girl who sullied herself for him; she was the one he had tied his very soul to. He may be never had her body, but she was his. He would always own a part of her. The Wolf may have gotten her body and she didn't have to hide her feelings for him, but the Archer owned a part of her the Wolf could never touch—_he was there_. When she panicked about being alone, being trapped, unwanted, _he_ and the other three were the only ones who she would believe when they assured her they would never leave her.

Yes, she _needed_ him. It wasn't a coincidence he was born and found her later. Maybe this wasn't a test of temptation but a test of doing what is right.

Sebastian had been a Rogue in his previous life, both of them, and he knew without a doubt, as these thoughts were forming in his mind, that there had been a reason for him taking that path of sin.

It was for her. She needed her Guardians once again.

His charge had saved him in so many ways, and the Archer never felt like he had or even could repay her. She had once been his everything, and now that she was back in his life, his mind, body, and soul was reverting back to how things had once been.

Those vows that Sebastian took were to follow the Maker's Will. And the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that everything in his life lead him to her.

Retribution.

They had made so many mistakes; they had hurt each other and the world. Now it was time to make good on those wrongs.

She had bloodied her hands, once again, for him. Stained her soul for him.

It was now that he return the favor.

The Chantry had just been another point on the road of life, just like his days as a Rogue had been, and it all pointed to her.

As it did, does, and will forever be.

With these thoughts and decisions made, Sebastian once again felt peace, and the turmoil that she had created was soothed.

So like her to create ripples only to be the very thing to settle them.

Sebastian would wait for her to come collect him.

Just like she had done before.

~~Fenris~~

Fenris' thoughts left the job that had gone ten ways to fuck, but as he had realized then, and realized again, it was something that needed to happen. He needed a big ass wakeup call to make him realize that he needed to get his shit together.

Not just for her, which was the most important part, but for him as well.

For Fenris, and he knew Raven too, it was hard trying to figure out how to maintain an identity with two opposing forces, and what seems like at times, two different personalities and people.

But really, it was only one person. A person who had gone through different events in their life.

He would always be both people. There were no two people inside of him, and the more he treated these sides to him as that, the more shit he was going to cause, and the more likely he was to either kill her or kill himself.

Or get them killed.

Either way, not an outcome he wanted.

Being without her, and with her off in the Deep Roads, only increased his longing for her. It also gave him the needed time to come to full terms with himself.

Fenris wasn't stupid to not think that he would still fuck up and have problems, but it was a huge ass step to acknowledge this problem.

And now that he figured it out, he wondered to share it with her, to make sure that she knew of this problem and that she didn't make the same mistake either.

But she was off in the Deep Roads without him; deep under the fucking ground where he couldn't be.

He had a nagging feeling deep inside of him when she walked away from him in that market place that something was going to happen, and it had only grown the more time she was away from him.

Raven had told him they thought it would take at a week to get where they need to get, and a week into the job, he started to feel worse.

It was taking everything he had not to go after her, but he knew even if he go down there, he'd never find her. And shit would be even worse than before.

It only increased to the point that he wasn't sure he could take it anymore.

That was when he realized he needed something. Something of _her_ to make it stop.

He hated himself for this weakness, especially the part of him that remembered being a helpless slave. He remembered that time where Danarius found out after one of the many draining and beatings, a servant was helping him.

Without Danarius' permission. The bastard made him torture the girl, and then, after days of various tortures, the evil piece of shit made Fenris' kill her.

The girl had given him kindness, and Fenris repaid it with pain and death.

He vowed when he was free that he would never let something like that happen again. Fenris would not let someone get hurt if he could stop it.

As each day went on, Fenris needed her more. He came to the conclusion that this had to be longing he felt for her.

Fenris had no doubt that he had loved the person she had used to be, but he wasn't sure about the woman she was now. Had he gotten to the point where he loved her?

Was love the reason he felt so shitty? That he worried for her?

Or was it because he cared for her? That he felt it his job, as her Guardian, to protect her, and he knew that she was hurting?

Fenris soon found himself in the Chantry sitting next to the Shiny Archer, and, by the look on said Archer's face, Fenris knew he was feeling the same.

Fenris had never thought it was a weakness to care for, depend on, or to love her. Especially since she felt the same way toward him. He had been alone up until that point, trying to find some purpose in life, trying to fulfill what he was supposed to be doing. She was the center of his entire world, and he was at hers (well, he shared it).

And sharing it…he shared it with the man beside him.

"Something's wrong," the Archer stated not asked.

Fenris nodded. "They should have been back by now, but, well, waiting has never been my strong suit."

The Archer laughed, "No, my friend, it hasn't."

The pain that he had felt before had started to dim. Fenris only concluded that it was because of the man next to him. Fenris knew that he was going to through the same shit as him.

This man knew and felt just like Fenris did.

He understood.

Fenris wasn't the only Hybrid out here in the world.

The days passed with Fenris coming back to see Sebastian. After a week of seeing him, a month total after she had left, the two had been outside the Chantry at nightfall leaning against the wall when someone approached them.

It was Hawke.

Alone.

Fenris steeled himself, but he knew that Hawke had come into Kirkwall without Raven or Carver.

The only question was what had happened that they didn't return with him.

They weren't dead. No, Fenris and Sebastian would have felt that.

So what happened?

Hawke stopped about foot away from the two and sighed. "Honestly? I don't know what the fuck happened. We found a temple, ruin, deep underground that wasn't on the maps. There was red Lyrium everywhere and Raven did not like it. I didn't either."

Sebastian and Fenris narrowed their eyes at Hawke. Red Lyrium? That was _not_ good.

"Did you leave it down there? Blow it up?" Sebastian questioned.

Hawke shook his head. "We found some idol, and Varric threw it to Bertrand. Fucker trapped us in the tomb. It took us awhile to get out, and we even had to fight a fucking dragon to do so. Not to mention the giant rock monster."

Hawke sighed again and ran his hand through his hair. "We were almost out and Carver collapsed. He…" the man hesitated, and it looked like he was going to choke up. "Carver had the taint."

Fenris' eyes closed and breathed out slowly; he knew what had happened now, and while he wasn't very happy that she was far away, he was glad that she was technically safe. "She is with the Wardens now, isn't she?"

Hawke nodded. "She wouldn't let them take Carver without her. She promised that she would be back." Hawke locked eyes with Fenris, wanting to reassure the other man that she would be back.

Fenris nodded and watched as his somewhat friend walked off towards Lowtown. It was only then that he noticed that Hawke had _smelled_ as if he hadn't had a bath in months not to mention the blood stains and rips in his clothing.

Fenris shook his head. That bastard had come straight to him. No doubt the whore and the dwarf had taken a different route to Lowtown.

Fenris turned to Sebastian who was still watching Hawke walk away, his thoughts distance.

"So we had cause to worry. She almost died quite a few times," Fenris spoke quietly.

"Not to mention the Red Lyrium, that would have been hell to be surrounded by," Sebastian commented.

Fenris then sighed. "I shouldn't be all that surprised. Danger and trouble follows her."

Sebastian chuckles. "More like Death. All those things existing down there peacefully until she came and killed them all. Not to mention that damn Lyrium. That's going to be trouble."

Other than that solemn foreboding, both smile at each other at the thought of her as she is Death.

"We'll wait, however long," Sebastian said as he stretched.

Fenris shook his head with an amused smile on his face, "It won't the first—"

"—or last," Sebastian continued. "She'll come back; she always comes back. After all, she can't stay away."

"_She's_ the one?" Fenris snorted as it was hilarious considering they were the ones that couldn't stay away. "Besides, a hoarder, she is, if I ever saw one. Nothing will keep her from coming back to Kirkwall to get back what belongs to her. She'll get distracted by her brother and probably the manwhore, but she will be back."

As Sebastian turned to go back into the Chantry, he thought of something. "You don't think she's got a bit of dragon in her, do you?"

Fenris blinked as the thought never really occurred to him. "Nothing simple with that one."

Sebastian smirked. "Now where would the fun be in simple?"

_To be continued_…one last Intermission! Here comes Raven, the manwhore, and the Archon!

Translations:

Beloved, do not bait him. Amusing as it is at first, but now, we need to move on. If this is happening, then it needs to be stopped now. More so, we need to find out how this happened: "Amatus, ne esca eum. Amusing ut primum autem oportet ut proficiscantur. Si hoc fiat, tunc oportet quod iam cessavit . Magis oportet considerare quid hoc esset."

Okay, so hopefully, this chapter explained what I'm thinking behind a protective/possessive Fenris and why it isn't too much beyond that of canon!Fenris. I'm just thinking that since this is not exactly canon, Fenris can still be Fenris without being the exact same. It's like how Fenris can fuck Isabela and not Hawke and be fine. Besides, I kind of feel that memory-Fenris balances Fenris so the elf won't, when things become too out of his depth, snap and lash out like a cornered animal—which is what Fenris likes to do.

**Anyway, this was my original reply to the review:**

I see Fenris like this in other fics that are complete AU's of DA II (like Hawke goes to Miranthos, becomes a Magister, etc).

I don't know; honestly, I think Fenris is like this buried underneath, but because of what happened in his past as a slave and despite him claiming freedom, he still goes back to how he was before. Note in the game how he basically just switches owners from Danarius to Hawke. It's like Flemeth said: he is still chained despite being 'free.' That and his whole life in Kirkwall is just a response waiting for Danarius to come. Fenris is still chained by his life as a slave. And, he wasn't like this in the game because Fenris is still wary of love and a connection with another person. It's why he leaves in Act 2 after some sexy time. Fenris is lost and he doesn't know how to act, to be be free despite his very loud claims. He is kind of like Anders too...honestly, those two getting what they want, they wouldn't know what to do with it.

So what I'm thinking is that because of memory-Fenris chose to be a Guardian, chose to be with her, chose to follow her, chose to love her, he is, technically, free the entire time because he chose her. Fenris stayed with Hawke because of a debt he owed. And remember, despite Raven leading and seemingly dominate ways, she is broken and fragile, and as such, Fenris knows his job is to protect her. It is, after all, her despair that drew him to her in the first place. Her screams (figuratively) of pain pulled him to her and, since then, he hasn't let her go. Fenris is intrigued by the reversal of roles, and with her devotion and needing him, he won't let her go. It's the whole: I was powerless but now I have all the power.

It's why the two, Raven and Fenris, are definitely closer than normal people would in this situation, despite their shared pasts. Personally, I always thought (like with some of the other AU stories) that if something pushed them together (either just them or someone trying to take her away), Fenris might be more inclined to take claim. Especially, at least I think so, if (like I said before) he is given something he has never had: power over someone else. In the game, Hawke never really gives up power in the relationship between the two, either as a friend, lover, or leader. But here, Fenris knows he has power, and most of the time is content to let her lead though he knows at the end of the day (and, well, the entire time) that he has complete power over her. Even when she's killing shit, facing Qunari, or whatever, one word or look from him could have her collapsing in seconds. Or even changing a decision concerning something.

This is where some may not understand, and I have tried to explain in the fic. And I may not have. Mortia Hawke is independent in everything save for her constant need for an Arvaarad. In reality, like she has been existing before she met Fenris in Kirkwall, she wasn't, sanity wise, reliant on anyone. Sure her Master kept her from killing a few people, but that mainly was the respect and love she has for him. Right now, besides those of memory-past, Mora only cares for two people deeply (though love may be a different story): Zevran and Carver. But she could live without them if she had too. She has spent most of her life away from Craver, so she isn't as attached to him as she is to Zevran. But she knows sooner or later, Zev will leave her. Just like he did when he chose Elissa over her. And, as we see from chapters 3-6, she's okay without Zev.

However, once she got hit with that screwed up ritual, parts of the memory-her had gotten out and one of those was a intense need for an anchor. In the past, it had been the four Guardians and her lover. The memory-her got so dependent on them, her mental stability, that she can't really function without one of them. And their opinion mean everything to her. I blame that on the fact that, in the beginning, she had someone with her-a Twin. My thoughts on Twins are that they share a soul. And when hers left her, she became unbalanced. And like I mentioned before, memory-Raven is about balance. So being alone when someone should have always been there for her, unbalanced her, thus her freak outs and fear of being alone.

Fenris understood her more than she understood herself. Even if the slave-Fenris was the one in control and memory-Fenris was pushed back. Fenris knew she belonged to him, even if he had to share her with others, and he felt it was his duty to protect her. It was why he came to her in the first place after all. So he was going to be quite protective of her and possessive—especially due to the fact that as a slave he could never have anything. Now he does, and he isn't going to give her up.


	10. DA:II Intermission 3 Warden & Archon

**Moon Says: **So, this just came about quite quicker than I thought because of a reviewer. To see that someone not only read it once, but three times? Oh, how I love thee. This is for you, TyleeJo. I wrote the first part Wendesday night and the rest Thursday night. Friday (after midnight) I edited and put it together. I would have posted on Friday, but I seemed to have lost myself in a HarryPotterxOriginals fic. The first one I've actually written down. I've got a few TwilgihtxVampire Dairies in my head. One is a time travel one where Bella has to go back in time because her mate, an Original, found out about her after Breaking Dawn and freaked the fuck out and wiped out the Volturi. Fun. Here is more insight into how Mora is processing about being away from Fenris. Honestly, I think he was doing much better. After all, he's not about to terrorize Wardens and an entire country.

**Words/Pages: **14/ 6,253

**Posted &amp; Edited**: 16 April 2016

**The Wolf and the Raven**

**~Dragon Age II: Act Intermission: Wardens and Archons, Oh My~**

I spent at least a year and a half with my bird twin.

I had thought it would have been hard interacting with Wardens that had _been_ Wardens for a long while, but it wasn't. Every one of them had heard of me and my cousin.

To them, it did not matter if I only had taken in half of the required blood intake required to become a Warden. My deeds had eclipsed all else.

I felt at peace among the other Wardens even if the collected feeling of taint gave me a constant headache.

My little brother exceled at being a Warden. Although, it had become tiresome for me to follow him around all the time. At first, our fellow Wardens called him my puppy dog but they soon learned I was the shadow.

One even had the gall to call me a lost puppy when my brother left me to go on missions.

Stroud had taken my absolute need to have my brother with me in stride, but after that year and half, he wanted to truly test the boy. See what he could do outside my presence.

It was then that Nathaniel came into the picture, and the confliction he presented, but thank the Creator I had some pity from him.

That is how we had met again after year or more of being away each other (it was less than last time). I was arguing with Stroud, and most of our unit had gathered around to watch.

Everyone there knew I was an Alpha, a leader. If it wasn't for a need to be with my family, I would still be in Amaranthine commanding the unit of Wardens there. I had the rank of Commander, but so did Stroud.

The man was an honorable one who didn't throw his rank or his experience in anyone's face. And we both knew that this was _his_ unit, and he was letting me stay to be with my brother.

That didn't mean he didn't take my advice when I gave or nor me with his. We coexisted for the most part. The unit secretly called us Mama and Papa Warden behind our backs.

I understood Stroud's reasoning as to why he wanted to separate me and my brother, but I couldn't give in to him. Not when I had become separated from Fenris. Fenris had been my rock these last few months. I depended on him to keep me in line.

I knew if I changed, if I strayed, he would cut me down…and then find a way to join me.

My brother wouldn't do that; we knew he would talk me down, or try to, but in the end he couldn't do what needed to be done.

And I also had other issues besides the fear of my non-magic.

I was scared. I had come so close to losing him, again, that I didn't want to let him out of my sight. That and all that shit with Fenris before I left was still lingering in the back of my mind.

I had become so dependent on the presence, that old Song of his, that kept me grounded in the past and present. He was what tied me to the past, and I had started to slowly lose it now that he wasn't here.

_He_ wasn't _here_.

My soul was going into withdraw. My body had become so used to his as well.

I had almost stopped sleeping at night. Why go to sleep when the fear of losing him again woke me? And he wasn't there to soothe it by pulling me tighter against him?

The assassin in me hated that I had fallen so deep into my old self in such a short time.

So because of the fear and withdrawal, I had latched onto my brother so tightly that I knew even when I wasn't touching him, Carver felt my grip.

Not that he minded when other Wardens tried to hit on me.

I felt no guilt for the attachment, Carver was plenty used to it by now, until Stroud hit me with something I vowed never to do to someone I loved.

"Carver is a Warden, and if you keep babying him and following him around, he will never get better! He will never find a place with the Wardens because he will be always in your _shadow_. Based on how he has said things were with his brother, I believe that the Wardens is the best place for him. But if you do not let him go and spread his wings, he will be lost in _your_ shadow. Just because you like to be there does not mean he does!"

My eyes widened and the entire courtyard became silent.

To be lost in the shadows when one wanted to be in the light was something that tore people apart. It made then change, become tainted, and they were no longer themselves. It was what tore me apart until I realized that the shadows with a select few were where I wanted to be.

But Carver?

He didn't belong in the shadows. He was a bird that was supposed to be free. Free to have a flock of his own.

And I was holding him back. I was _hurting_ him.

My eyes started to water. This is what always happened. I limited everyone. I hurt everyone by just trying to survive. I couldn't live without my Guardians, and by being with me, I hurt them by not being able to give them what they deserve. Instead, they watched me love someone else and get hurt over and over and weren't able to do anything about it. Then, they follow me into the Void and that damages them even more.

I killed Fenrir.

It was my fault that Fenris was a slave and was abused to the extreme in this life.

I trapped Compassion in the in between.

Creator only knew what I did to Sebastian before he was confined to the Chantry.

Bound to Chantry? Yeah, that right there was a horrible punishment.

Not to mention my Master. I got him thrown out of the Crows—his only place in the world. I got him caught up in the Blight and the After-Blight. I was the reason he was caught in between a married couple (who I still wasn't sure but had suspicions that was an actual threesome).

Why did I keep hurting those I cared for?

The right thing to do was give them up. Give them all up.

I would be alone.

But wasn't that what I deserved after everything I've done?

I was still that lonely little thing that wasn't good enough for her brother. Her soul twin.

Then she wasn't good enough for a fake-twin.

The Creator must have sent the Wolf to show her that she wasn't worth him either. Why else would he destroy her?

Like she destroyed her others.

No, she wasn't worth anything. She deserved to be alone. To do her duty alone so no one else would get hurt.

These thoughts broke me. I felt something deep inside of me that Fenris had begun to heal, start to crack.

A small voice reached me through touch and sound. "Sister?"

Hearing the voice, my eyes blinked away a few tears (when had they gotten there?), and they snapped to the owner of the voice—my brother.

Seeing him so worried…I saw my reflection in his eyes. I looked so lost, so pathetic, so…what was worse than broken? I looked so small…

But it was something in his face, in the tone of his voice, that brought back memories.

Fenrir holding me as I felt the life leave him.

The utter blankness that I felt when in the Fade only countered by the warm touch and song of my Guardian.

The look from Fenris when we both realized that we were the only things that kept us balanced, that kept us away from _changing_, that we could have each other.

The overwhelming possessiveness of someone trying to take what belonged to me.

I was not weak. I was the one _they _all feared.

I remember the absolute terror on their faces when they realized that the Wolf and I had come together against them. It was he they pleaded with because they knew from the insane look in my eyes that I would not back down.

Not after what they had done to me.

I had lost too much; I had sacrificed too much of myself and others to let some little human tell me what to do.

_To_ _take away what belongs to me!_

A familiar rage boiled over in me; one that I remember had surfaced in Amaranthine when Elissa had tried to take my Master.

My eyes flashed I knew. I _felt_ the old me rise and a Fire take over me.

Usually, I was one for Ice, but this time, the rage took over and I could not control myself. My Wolf was for Fire.

The Fire felt familiar as I grabbed hold of it with everything I had.

The Fire wanted something; it wanted the one who would take what was ours.

And who was I to deny the Fire?

I snarled at Stroud. I grinned darkly when his eyes widened, and the man took a step back before he stood his ground.

I launched myself at him, but a set of arms grabbed and pulled me backward. I ripped myself out of them without much effort.

"Shit!" I heard a male voice, one familiar, as I pulled out one of my swords and went straight for Stroud.

He managed to move away at the last second, barely a centimeter between my sword and him as it sliced and buried itself in the ground.

And what a hole it made. Not a crater, I didn't one of Fenris' swords, not this was a crack that was _deep_ and somewhat wide.

I had used a good bit of my strength. I tended to forget that long ago I was one of the most powerful beings on this side of the Veil. I had more strength, stamina, magic, fuck, my entire body was more enhanced than those of the people. Even now, when I've barely touched the surface of what I used to be, I outclassed the humans around me.

And the more time I spent with Fenris, the more I was coming to terms and merging with my old self.

Gaining speed and strength as I turned, I twisted and spun my blade (lifted in the swing to his chest level from the ground), and the tip sliced through the leather behind where the metal piece cover his chest would be if we were on an assignment. Idiot should have had the metal cover over his chest (though I have no doubt it would have given way as well).

Through my haze, I heard someone gasp in shock that my blade was able to cut through it. The shock was most likely due to, as I remember not too long ago, the fact that during a spare, one of the other Wardens had got a lucky hit on him, but it didn't make it past the leather.

My blades were sharpened by Fenris who always had a knack for sharpening a blade to the point it cut through _anything_. Not to mention I was channeling my Lyrium-Magic into them.

I heard Stroud hiss as his chest caught on fire on top of bleeding.

Hmm, I _was_ channeling Fire not just in my body but through my blade.

It was then someone smacked my hand in such a way that I lost the grip on my sword. My focus had been solely on Stroud, the fucker who thought he could take what was mine, that I didn't give thought to interference. As soon as the blade left my hand, two sets of arms held me back. They were having trouble, I knew, because they had to keep on tightening their grips. When one wasn't tight enough, they had to squeeze harder.

Hmph. I was stronger than I looked especially when I was defending what was mine.

Familiar voices told me to stop and calm down, but I couldn't hear them. The Fire was drowning me.

A part of me was scared. The Fire was taking over…I was losing the Ice, losing my calm, but wasn't it about time?

I had bottled everything up so much that it was finally time for me to do something other than Ice. One of the Shinies I left in Kirkwall liked my Fire; the other liked my Ice. He always liked it when I stayed away from others.

Balance was _everything_. I was tired of the shadows; I was tired of everything being taken from me. It was time I fought back. It was time I took charge and put myself first.

As they struggled to keep me from killing the idiot who tried to take what's mine, someone else stood in front of me. The smell was an Earthy, old, full of magic, and the Song held an old tune that was familiar.

"_My Lady," _a voice reached me through the Fire; the words were old and calmed the rage inside. "_You must calm_. _Stroud is no idiot; he will not take what is yours, but you cannot lose control. I _need_ you of sound mind and will."_

Those last words stopped my struggling and struck a chord in the ancient binding of my soul. Even if I had a new body, the duty was etched onto my _soul_.

One of my people, spoken in the language of old, called to me—for me because I was needed. And my curse is to hear them out, to answer the call if that was what was needed.

I closed my eyes and took quite a few breathes to calm myself. Before opening them, I took a breath and replied, in the old tongue, "_What is the call?_"

When I opened my eyes, the two holding me let me go slowly, no doubt ready to grab me again and bind me if needed.

The woman in front of me was the Elf from Amaranthine; the one who lost her home to Darkspawn and stayed with the Wardens to stop it from happening to other Elves.

"We are losing time. There is a small Clan of the People who need us, and the longer you spend fighting against my Commander, the less likely they will be living," was her firm but nowhere near commanding tone.

You do not command one of the Old Ones. We helped when we felt like it; no one more than I. I helped due to how I felt the balance to be.

I titled my head, "Then go for I am in no mood to entertain those who do not want help."

What was left of the People made me want to weep and curse at the same time. They were dead already though they knew it naught. It crushed my heart to see that by saving them, we destroyed them at the same time.

Could we ever make right this wrong?

The Elf in front of me straightened up. I could see on her face that she was angry at me for denying my help, but she understood it just as well—had she not been in the same position not too long ago?

But she knew enough of the Old Ways and Lore to not challenge me and accept my decision, though she could only guess and trust her instincts on my true nature.

"You not going is fine, but we need Carver. He is the only one who has certain skills—"

I suppressed a growl and hands were on my arms gently.

I took a few more deep breathes. "I _cannot_ be alone. Did you not see what just happened? I need Carver. You cannot take him from me. My Master will be here soon," I insisted when I saw her and Stroud open their mouths to say something. "If the Clan cannot wait until then, then Carver and I both will both go. He's assessment can occur _after_ I leave soon."

I sighed as my gaze went to the sky before moving NorthEast. "I don't have much longer…"

"Sister, what are you talking about?" Carver asked gently from my right.

I twisted my body, so he knew I was giving him my full attention. "Years ago, I killed a Magister of the Imperium. I drew the interest of the Archon, and I don't have much time left to go see him before he gets too…impatient. I really don't want to push the head of the Imperium. Not when shit in Kirkwall is going to get worse."

"You can stay with me," an even softer deep voice spoke behind me.

I froze as the voice registered with me. I slowly turned around, and I saw my first love.

Did I love him?

The more time I spent with Fenris, the more I doubt it. Nathaniel had been there when I needed something different to hold on to. I cared for him, but I don't think I loved him. Not after seeing Fenris and remembering feelings long since buried. Feeling emotions I hadn't let myself feel or develop before.

I didn't lie to my brother or to Fenris. There were only four men I had ever loved like a lover. One was a tug of war that saved me only to hurt me.

A connection I needed at the time.

Even the hurtful and somewhat wrong love I had for my Wolf was everything more than the little I felt for Nathaniel.

How could I have ever thought I had felt something deep as love for him?

I knew the depth of true emotions because of what Fenris had started awakening in me.

Emotions were everything, and did we not feel much more and deeper than others? The absolute depth we felt was ingrained soul deep.

It made the ache for my Guardians even more.

I saw the worry on his face, and it stabbed me with a bit of guilt.

Nathaniel loved me; he loved me all these years, but I didn't _love_ him.

I cared for him, same as Anders, but it wasn't with the depth that love deserved.

And I couldn't bring myself to try and love him either. I had enough trouble with the love I already had succumbed to, I didn't need anymore.

Besides, there shouldn't be that many people that could control me or make me feel that deeply. I could and would have killed everyone here if the Elf had not stepped in. There were already too many people who had the power to make me go off the rails, there really shouldn't be anymore.

Even if I tried to love him, Nate, I knew it would turn out worse than the relationship I had with my Wolf.

Not to mention, if Fenris found out, Nate would be dead before I could blink.

Besides, there already was a Shiny Archer that I couldn't stop thinking about. Just remembering those two something sparked inside of me, a switch was flipped, and my eyes turned back toward Carver and he groaned as he saw the look.

Though, honestly, I could see the relief in them.

"You want your Shinies, don't you, sister?" Carver was quite amused by this. "I doubt there are any Chantrys for you to sneak into to find one."

I pouted, "But I want my Shiny Prince and Sparkly Elf!"

I was so lost in the sparkly haze that I almost stomped my foot.

"Sparkly Elf? Shiny Prince, oh my," I heard a manwhore cut in, "I want one! Or am I sparkly?"

I smirked at my brother who only groaned. He knew what was about to happen. "Don't you have a Magister to bug?"

My Master grabbed me from behind and twirled me to face him, "Where is this Sparkly Elf? Not to mention the Shiny Prince? I must meet them…are they tasty?"

I tilted my head for a second once he put me down. "They smell good, but I haven't got around to tasting…the Shiny Prince."

Zev's eyes lit up and was about to drill me when I felt Carver's glare. No doubt he realized what I said. He knew now that I had kissed Fenris.

My bird twin was not happy.

But I didn't care.

"You know what? I don't want to know. Your sex life is something I don't want to know anything about." Carver threw his hands up in the air.

My Master blinked before looking at my brother with a raised eyebrow. "Sex life? What sex life? She's just the way I left her."

Carver looked relieved before he shook his head and started walking off toward a wary Stroud and female Elf (who I didn't bother remembering her name).

Just to mess with my brother since he decided to throw me under the caravan (I knew Master was going to make this hell on me later), "Oh, and what about you and a certain female Elf who rambles?"

Carver froze and turned slowly toward me, his face started to turn red. "What have you heard, sister?"

I knew he was afraid especially when his eyes cut toward my Master's for a spilt second before back at me. If I was evil, I'd have my Master and my other brother gang up on him.

"Another Elf? Have the two of you replaced me already? Carver, dear, if you had wanted some Elven loving, you just had to say so. I would have given in to your every desire _years_—"

First, I smacked the hell out of Zev then I covered my ears and started to walk off. "Think happy thoughts. Think distracting thoughts. Remember the time you helped kill a Grand Duke of Orlais? Yes, that was fun. No sex involved at all. No naked manwhore Elves who need clothes on. No, there was only…" I frowned, "a naked serving girl. Damn it all! Why do you have to taint me so!" I moaned and growled at my Master who had just caught up to me.

"You would die of boredom if not for me. Besides, any assassination that we do without some variety of nudity is so boring. Admit it, Mi La Petite Mort?"

I refused to answer him.

"Bye sister! Enjoy the Imperium and their whorehouses!" my brother maliciously called to me in a tone that was disguise with humor and well wishing.

Not even a second later, my Master had our entire trip planned out, and he wasted no time telling me our itinerary.

Through our bond, I told my brother exactly what I would be doing to him when I saw him again. Out loud, "I'm going to cut your dick off, brother!"

The bastard only laughed at me.

~WAR~

We made good time getting into the Imperium; I really didn't want to piss off the Archon myself (though a part of me, damn you Wolf, wanted to so badly).

Before we saw the Archon, though, an ally of sorts with the Magister I killed took me under his wing and introduced me to the culture of the Imperium for a good while.

Magister Pavus.

The more I got to know him, though, made me wonder what the hell he was doing allying with the bastard who fucked me up so bad. That was my first introduction to the politics of Tevinter. One needed allies to survive, but I sure as hell wasn't going to play this game.

Hell no.

I got along quite well with his son, Dorian. The three of us got along quite well, even more so when we realized I didn't have to worry about Dorian trying to get into my pants.

This was the first time, however, that I was ignored in favor of my Master.

I quite liked it after getting over the oddness.

Dorian's father didn't quite like that at all. The entire time we were there, that man tried to use everything in his bag of tricks to get me to marry Dorian.

Something we both were opposed to.

I never did get to see Dorian's mentor, but I hadn't wanted too. My little world with just the Pavus family and the Archon was fine by me.

Besides, the Archon was quite a possessive man, and he didn't like to share all that much. Though, I never was sure if he had any thoughts (small ones that is) of me marrying him.

It was about six months into my stay that I actually got to meet the man.

He was at least six foot tall, with shoulder length black hair. His hair was as black as night…as a Raven.

There was something familiar about the way his aura felt. His Song. It had such old tones to it that I started to think that maybe he had traces of an Old One like Fenris and I.

His eyes were a Grey-Blue that I had constantly saw when looking at Carver. Father had them too. But so did another brother of mine.

The Archon's body type was in between a huge build one would see in someone who wielded a sword like Carver's a smaller someone like a mage or Fenris. Like a dual wielder almost.

I had no doubt that this was a Mage that was more like me than most.

He had a cold air about him and was well-guarded, but I could see through him. No one could hide anything in their Soul Song. But, I was never good as reading one as my First.

"Welcome," he greeted, and I could tell from the sound of his voice he had that of a Silver Tongue. "I have observed you since the moment you've stepped into the Imperium, and I have to say, you are unlike anyone I have ever met. So Old and Young at the same time."

The way he said those words made me quite sure that he knew something about my past and my current state, and I found myself not really caring.

Even though this was supposed to be the most dangerous man in the world, I didn't feel any fear for him, only a sense of safety.

I knew he wouldn't hurt me. There was something deep in his blood, magic, and Soul that wouldn't let him.

I raised any eyebrow at his words. "Then you know I really don't give a shit about politics, the Game, or any of it. I imagine I am quite…refreshing to you considering all the backstabbing and ass-kissing you must be used to. There is a reason why you haven't had me killed for murdering one of the Magisters, and a part of it is curiosity I know. What does my family have to do with this new appointment?"

The Archon's eyes lit of in amusement, "Yes, quite refreshing. Anyone else who would have spoken to me like that probably would have begged that I lit them on Fire instead of what I usually do for disrespect. If, in fact, I am not amused or in a humoring mood. Quite blunt and to the point, well, why beat around the bush, Little One? We are family, and if there was one thing I was taught, is that Family comes first. Though, if you can't somehow manage to play our version of the Game while putting them first, then there usually is a problem. But for you?" he murmured the last bit, "You're above it all. My family has kept quite the extensive records of our history, but I have had to dig quite deep to find a kernel of what you are. Or rather who you used to be."

After that rather enlightening introduction, he launched into the fact that our family descends from the only love child of one that the Elven people considered a God. Said child was a Elf-Human girl that passed off for human. She married the first Archon and had two Twins. Twins that ended up splitting into two family fractions. The Raven and the Hawke. Apparently, Malcom Hawke was an illegitimate child of the Archon's great uncle or something like that. I was getting kind of bored at this point. The Raven side was of the Shadow and had spent all these centuries helping the other side of the family in whatever they needed. The Hawke Clan, though obviously the name had changed in concern to the Archon (who still hadn't told me his name), had the most Archons in the history of the Imperium and was considered the most powerful House in Tevinter.

And, after finding out that this little Crow girl had killed a Magister, the Archon researched me. Seeing as the Crows didn't want an enemy of the Archon, they told him _everything_. My temporary status with them, my father's history: the fleeing of Tevinter and mix up with Wardens (though no one knew what the fuck happened there). The Archon went on from their information and dug up more history.

Until he had dug all the way back to before the Imperium was an Empire. Apparently, the half-human daughter was a member of her Aunt's Order and had taken to journaling quite extensively.

It had taken a few years before the Archon learned to read the ancient language, but he managed to decode it quite well.

The girl, Din'aya, had been the greatest of her Order and kept track of her Mistress quite well—even when said Mistress helped banish the other "Gods" and disappeared from the face of the Earth. She had been the one who had taken up to watch her Mistress' prison. That had been where she had meet the man she married and who later became the Archon.

Over the years, though, the Raven House had mixed with Wardens (it honestly made me think with all the hints he was dropping, if one of that line had been one of the first Wardens), so it wasn't a real surprise to see that the prison was guarded by Wardens. Something was there, and the Archon was very wary of it.

Not to mention it was highly suspicious that Malcolm was spotted interacting with said Wardens at this place (so the Crows observed) before he ran off to Ferelden with a pregnant wife.

My eyes narrowed to the left of the man in front of me (my Master was leaning up against the wall behind me—I felt him struggling to put some of the information together). Why everything was so bloody connected?

"What is the status of the Warden Prison?" I asked softly as my subconscious connected a shit ton of it, but my mind was having a hard time piecing it together.

The Archon looked as if he wanted to chuckle, as it was amusing that I was focusing on that aspect of all the information he revealed to me, but the information I was seeking was deadly serious.

I could see the Archon wondering if he should tell me, but if he had connected the dots, and figured out that I was in fact a remnant of the Aunt of our ancestor, then he knew I was the one out of the three of us that needed to know what was going on.

"There hasn't been much activity lately, but my sources are saying that it looks like a Carta clan has moved closer and is looking like they are interested in the area," was the soft reply from my cousin of sorts.

I nodded as I processed the information. "Keep an eye on it, there is something down there that we _do_ not want released onto the world. It was hell trying to imprison the damn thing the first time," I revealed not really sure what the fuck I was talking about, but I knew that whatever was deep inside my prison was something that needs to stay there.

"Do you know what keeps it from leaving? I sent someone down to investigate, but they never came out again," the Archon questioned.

I felt inquisitive blue-grey eyes on me as he accepted my knowledge without more information—it made me wonder if he knew what was down there…

I sighed for a second as my mind tried to remember. "There is a barrier down there that allows no one to exit once they've entered. The barrier spell that was once in place has been completely turned on instead of somewhat like it was originally. At first, it only kept the prisoners and certain others from exiting, but now? Now it traps _all_ who enter. The price to pay for this protection keeps on locked down. This is also what happens when people mess with something they don't understand."

The tension in the room was very thick and almost unbearable. My Master decided it was time to interrupt and insert himself.

"So, what is it you want from my Apprentice?"

A part of me groaned because at this moment my Master just set himself above me. Idiot. This is a situation where I needed the power here, but this was getting into "The Game" territory, and I sucked there.

The Archon merely raised an eyebrow. "I would prefer her to stay here and integrate with my country, but that, unfortunately, is not a very feasible option. This country is run on a highly politic system that she cannot operate within, and I want the Imperium left standing. While I admit, she would be making necessary and needed changes to the country, I don't think she's patient enough or would go about it the necessary way. Besides, I do not think the Elf that she has attached herself to would be very acceptable of her living here as a Magister."

My eyes widened as I realized he was talking about Fenris. "No, Fenris would not be. Is there any way to get Denarius to back down? If he comes after what belongs to me, I will kill him," I warned, my eyes flashing.

Fenris was _mine_, and I refused to let anyone have him.

The Archon hummed, "I dislike the Magister quite a bit, but it doesn't do well for you to keep going about killing them at every turn and not be punished. We have a way of doing things, but if he challenges you, or you challenge him, then there you would be in the clear. But, technically, the Elf still belongs to Denarius."

When I about growled at his words, his eyes darkened as he held up a hand to stop me. "Because you are family and the other Magister had no right to include you in a Blood Ritual without your permission or the Crows, I did nothing but offered the seat to you. There is nothing I can do because of our laws. Laws you will have to obey. If you take a contract out on him or kill him yourself, then do not get caught. Otherwise, there are consequences I cannot protect you from. Challenging him is the only way to truly fix the problem; although, I am not sure your Elf would like it very much if you kill another Magister and take his things."

I did not like how this was going. No wonder Fenris never wanted to come back here, and there was nothing I could do about changing the Laws. That would take decades if not more than that to truly fix them Imperium. Not to mention the target I would paint on myself if I pursued this.

I had no other choice than to sit back and let the bastard come to me.

I was really beginning to see why Fenris did not want me here. Even if he didn't say it, he _knew_.

I would become worse than Justice if I stayed. I couldn't play this game to fix everything here. And it would destroy me.

Even planting the seeds would not be enough. There was no bringing a balance to this fucked up country.

It hurt knowing that I couldn't do anything, but I would at least try. To do something to balance out the hell of a lot that I _wouldn't_ do.

I knew that while I couldn't win this war (I really was not in the mood to take over the Imperium), but I could sure as the Void is Dark and Empty win a battle.

My eyes glinted with the smirk that graced my lips causing the man in front of me to look as if he was preparing himself for the destruction of half his world and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it except brace himself.

A good idea because I was about to fuck shit up—all because he made me a Magister.

I would be a good little Magister and not stir up trouble inside the Magisterium, but he said nothing about what belongs to me. I wouldn't do anything _directly_ with the Magisterium.

Dorian and I were going to have so much fun for the next year "cleaning house," so fuck you Imperium.


	11. DA: II Part 6 (Act 2)

**Moon Says: **I have spent way to long away from this story. I had got it into my head that I was going to do alternating chapters between Inquisition and Act 2/3 (**spoiler: **because Raven will lose her memories). Also, when I planned the outline for Act 2 and 3, I tried to ignore all the quests, but I don't think I did. But we will see. I did write an AU of this fic, the ending with Trespasser (because I had a drive to get something out of my head about Trespasser and it was too far away). Just know that it won't be cannon, but there are spoilers in it for this fic. Anyway, enjoy! I plan on Intermission chapters between the Acts, but I can't think of any, so any suggestions?

**Words/Pages: **13,449/28 (THIS HAS TO BE THE LONGEST YET!

**The Wolf and the Raven**

**~DA: II: Part 6 (Act 2)~**

I felt a pulse of the Fade ahead of us causing my eyes to narrow and my ice to steel itself inside of me. The other me was getting angry as she knew exactly what was going on. Me? It felt familiar, but I just couldn't place it.

Three years was a long time in our world of death and blood. Especially with me poking the dragon that is the Imperium.

Speaking of Magisters, that old, ancient part of me had been coming out more and more since that botched fuck up that Magister did years ago, but since I got to Kirkwall, it had begun to...settle. At least before I left.

I knew it had to do with Fenris and his constant presence, but it was not coming out more and more as it had in the beginning since our first meeting. Settle was a good word for after I had left him.

As if the old me was content with the balance between us.

But now?

Feeling this part of the Fade...some old instinct...no, instinct wasn't exactly what it was. It had become that, over time, years spent doing it. Duty. Ah, that fit so much better. I knew exactly what duty was. Duty had become my center.

In the past, I needed something to hold on to, some purpose. Even now, I could not remember my true name. Had I changed and forgotten? I was so caught up in _him_ that I had tried to push away everything else.

_He_ had gone in and out of my life whenever it suited him, and I followed him like a lost puppy, desperate for what he gave me. But I knew it was mutual. We had a fucked up relationship, but we needed it in the beginning...to be who and what we were, we needed some sort of anchor.

I have this gut feeling that he helped me, either of who I was, with our relationship.

In the beginning, we were all we had as both of us were the outcasts, thrown away as it fitted the others. To be used when needed, so was it any wondered that we did the same with each other?

Sometimes it was just that we needed help from the other for a mission or even something as simple as we wanted to be together, to have sex, or something like that. Sometimes the world, our People, just became too much.

Now, in hindsight, looking into her memories, her life, I could see where things went wrong. I could see that something was wrong. I could see that she had her head so wrapped around the wolf that she forgot those who stood by her every second of every day. Century after century.

Who never asked for nothing but her company (and for her not be reckless or stupid, but that was a different story), and yet, she only had eyes for him. She had taken them all for granted. Had always thought they would be there, even the wolf. (But was the wolf what she needed to be herself? A part of me still clings to that...unknown...)

Being with Fenris made me realize that being a leader isn't just running around, leading, giving orders. It is taking into account those around you, their needs, their wants, as well as what needs to be done. A leader balances what is needed of them with those around them.

Her and her wolf got so caught up in themselves that they forget there were others...others who got caught up in their selfishness...

But always in that selfishness was a clear cut notion of what she had to do. She had her duty.

She helped the People when it felt like she needed to.

She kept her prison running, taking care the outcasts, exiles, rule breakers that were not sentenced to death.

She kept monitoring the Spirits and the In-Between. It was something they all were supposed to do, but the others had decided that they had more important things to worry about after the war that brought them into power. Her wolf was the only one that actually actively worked to keeping the balance (besides being a pain in the ass to the others), making sure that those who came through were the ones that could handle the difference between the two, and taking care of the ones that didn't follow the system—which usually ended up changed, turned, and destroyed as result.

But was Duty who she was? Or was it just the way her purpose took her? Was it a way for her to endure this new life of hers? Or was she so lost in this new life that changing was all she could focus on...without getting further lost in herself or the world around her.

Changing...

That part of her duty brought my mind back to the situation at hand as my brother and I raced down the tunnel toward the out of control force that I felt.

The magic was feeling tainted or at least making good head way there. It wasn't completely turned, but it was enough to make me cautious.

A part deep in my mind, that I buried deep when the two of us came to a stop and I noticed _who_ the source of Fade magic was coming from, told me that I never took chances with my People. If I felt even this much taint, I would destory them.

But when I saw that it was Anders...

With my history with people, I should never have trusted others, never let them in, but once I did...I fought for them. Anders had been a friend of mine even if we didn't know each other that long in Amaranthine. We stood side by side, when we did, and fought together.

I didn't have many friends, but he touched a part of me. Anders had been so different then...much more...alive. Not to mention, we were Wardens. We were family. Brothers and Sisters in all but blood. We lived and died by our code.

Maybe I should put him out of his misery—

The thought vanished when I saw him go for the girl-mage. I threw my hand forward and let my false-magic out, slamming into him, and closed my fist as the ice started to fill me. I commanded with a calm, cold, and firm voice, "Enough."

My magic made him freeze. It was enough for me to walk forward down the steps, my arm still outstretched, toward him.

When I got close, I became fully aware that the light blue cracks in his face had extended to his neck, his eyes glowing the same color.

I could feel him trying to struggle in an attempt to get away from me. The bastard was fighting me. I growled, and when I got in leg distance, I kicked him as I lowered my hand and dropped the magic hold. The bottom of my right foot slammed into his stomach sending him flying back more than ten foot into the wall behind him.

When Anders got back up two seconds later, Justice was still in control. "**How can stand against me? How can you, of all people, stand for this abuse? You are a Guardian**—"

Anything else he was going to say was cut off when I stood straighter and looked him dead in the eyes. I was getting tired of his bullshit. Did he never listen to me? Whether or not he had a valid argument, or what my position in this argument was, wasn't what was making the ice spread.

Justice was getting worse, more and more out of control. Anders was getting out of control.

Any other time I would appear like this, let my false-magic roam, Justice would retreat, knowing he was going too far.

But now? He was challenging me.

Bastard.

But more than that, I was seeing that my leaving him as he was not becoming a good idea.

"If you do not gain control of yourself, I will wipe you from existence," was my barely controlled reply. Justice foolishly took a few steps forward, and I heard gasping as my eyes glowed in response.

I raised an eyebrow, "You wish to challenge _me_?"

Justice immediately took a few steps back in submission, "**No, my Lady. I only wish you would **_**see**_—"

I waved a hand, cutting him off. "I wish you would understand that this is not your fight. This is not something that we can fix or make better. You cannot provide Justice for those abused because it is not as black and white as that. Not all are abused; in fact, some enjoy their current situations."

Justice opened his mouth, but I cut him off again. "My sister, Bethany, would have loved being in a Circle," when the Spirit didn't respond and I knew he wouldn't (my glare was totally badass), I continued, "Now, release yourself. You will become passive inside of Anders and no longer interfere with his life, or Creator help me," I trailed off with my threat, and Justice looked like he was barely restraining himself.

I watched him struggle with himself for a few moments before he gave a short, "**I will retreat**," but it was clear the "for now" was attached.

The fool just wouldn't stop, would he? If he was not going to play nice, then I'd make him.

I narrowed my eyes and stalked forward before he retreated fully inside Anders. The Spirit backed up until the wall stopped him. When I got to him, I raised my right hand again, touched my fingertips to his chest, locking eyes with him as I did it. I felt him flinch when he felt the false-magic I was pushing into Anders.

I didn't know what I was doing, but the Ice did. _She_ did. I wanted to suppress Justice and willed the false-magic to do so as I whispered, "You better stay buried; otherwise, I will rip your heart from your chest and burn your soul until there is nothing left for even the Void."

Justice let out a sound that had me smirking darkly before he was gone causing Anders to let out a cry of pain as my false-magic fully took hold of him, spreading throughout his body.

"Mora, please stop," the blonde in front of me begged, but I didn't stop until I could feel only a small echo of Justice. Only then did I pull my hand, magic, away and took a few steps back giving Anders room—to which he only fell to his knees.

I only titled my head at him as he whimpered at my feet. I felt no pity for him. I hated that he joined his soul with a Spirit, an unstable one at that, but another part of me was glad for his kindness. Anders cared enough to endanger himself to save someone else.

That was one of the reasons I was still fighting for him, I realized. Anders was willing to sacrifice himself so a friend would be saved. To sacrifice yourself for someone else was a trait that I held in spades...

Sometimes I wondered if that was the missing name for myself. Was I Sacrifice? Whether or not it was the missing name of mine, how could I condemn him for doing something that I did, repeatedly, without a thought?

I sighed as the dark expression and sick pleasure I got from his pain left only leaving me tired.

As I made my way back to Carver (who was standing at the top of the stairs), it was then that I noticed his expressionless face. I could tell from the tenseness of his body that he was trying not to react, but I could see his eyes...they were looking at the mage on the ground, gasping and in pain, with concealed distrust and wariness.

Without another thought, I made my way toward him. His dark eyes never left Anders even as I felt and heard the movement of someone making their way towards the fallen man. When I got to the step beneath his, it was only then that he turned toward me, his dark eyes focused and looking down at me. I gave him a questioning look, and Carver just snorted and patted the top of my head.

I looked annoyed, "Do I look like a dog?"

"No, but the attention that you beg for resembles one," a deep, sexy voice I hadn't heard in three years, only in my dreams, teased me.

I whipped around, hoping to have a pouting look on my face, but when I saw him, looking as if he hadn't changed, I couldn't keep the small smile off my face. Carver pushed me lightly from behind, and, without a look or thought toward the two to my left, I walked quickly away from my brother straight for Fenris.

I stopped in front of the elf, my hands clasped together in front of me (so I wouldn't touch him), staring up in his face, his smirk still there. "How trained you are to come immediately when called. I see you do not deny the comparison either."

I growled lightly. His smirk only grew, the amusement in his eyes clearer. Bastard knew that I was distracted by seeing him that I hadn't gave a comeback.

"Oh, just jump your Elf, already," Carver groaned, "Get it over with, so I can say my goodbyes and officially hand you over to him."

"Oh, go fuck yourself, brother," I rolled my eyes without turning back to him, "You just want to get away from me so you can start having some "alone" time again," I grinned wickedly, causing every male to gasp or choke at my words in some way.

I heard my other brother quickly speak, "You have spent way too much time with your mentor. This always happens every time you spend an extended time with him..."

I turned slightly to my left, looking at my slightly amused other brother before I shrugged, "It what happens when you have a man-whore for a master who can't really leave you alone. Besides, did you want me running around the Imperium by myself? Even the Archon wasn't going to let that happen."

That was one reason I hated just being with my Master. He couldn't keep his dick in his pants, and I always suffered for it. Honestly, I had to be the most experienced (mentally) virgin there ever was. I got to see Dorian naked more times than I wanted to, and a part of me was sad that he only went for males (though, there was that one time he was drunk that he offered—something about doing all of us a favor).

Fenris stiffened a second later as my words no doubt clicked with him, reminding him of why I left him. I wanted to kick himself. Fenris probably was all sorts of messed up knowing that I was there without him. I can only imagine how worried he was or the horrible scenarios he came up with (each probably worse than the last).

"What exactly is he teaching you?" Hawke asked curiously, no doubt trying to distract Fenris (I'm assuming because that was whom he was looking at).

I blinked a few times. "Nothing intentionally, but, well, since I can't really leave him...let's just say I probably know more about sex than you do, brother, let alone male on male sex," I closed my eyes trying to block the, despite me hating to admit it, kind of hot memories.

"He fucks around you?!" Carver growled, and I knew that he was plotting the death of my Master. "Does that bastard ever..." Carver looked a little sick...he couldn't even ask me the actually question.

I gave my brother a look. "I know Master likes to flirt with me, but he would _never_ lay a hand on me like that. Honestly, he likes to maim and murder people who think they can have sexual relations with me. I think he'd die if he ever found out I actually had sex," I said with an air of indifference. "Besides, I really don't want my first sexual experience to be a threesome which it would be if I ever had sex with my Master."

Carver blushed and stuttered after I basically admitted that I was still a virgin, or was it the thought of me in a threesome?

While my eyes were on my brothers and my body angled to where I was almost touching Fenris, I couldn't really see him. Though, he was still tense as before. There was something else, though. I could feel something bubbling under his skin, but I ignored it.

Thankfully, I heard a cough which had me abandoning the conversation and turned toward the man who was behind and to the left of Fenris. I am ashamed to admit that I hadn't even noticed him.

My eyes widened, and I probably looked like a fish. It was my Shiny Prince. How could I ever not notice that I was around my Shiny Archer?

Just like my brother, he had a blush on his face...and it made him so much more Shiny. My Prince seemed to almost glowing...

Fenris' hands on my arms, keeping me from moving, seemed to bring me back to awareness.

I groaned as I hit my head lightly on his chest, "I did it again, didn't I?"

Fenris only chuckled, "Try to not...jump him before you even talk to him."

I totally kitten growled at him with a face to match—or so his smirk and the way his eyes lit up (like they always did when he was making fun of me) told me. He always said that I couldn't growl at him worth a damn—always looked like a tiny kitten that couldn't do shit to him.

Damn him!

"Just for your information," I would have poked him in the chest had he let go of my arms, and seeing as I liked his hands on me voluntarily, I wasn't going to move, "I don't jump everyone who is Sparkly and Shiny."

"But you do jump some?" Sebastian questioned quickly, trying to look innocent in his questioning before doing the impossible and blush-smirking.

My eyes widened as I realized I walked right into that one. And by the playful tilt of his lips and eyes, I knew he was making fun of me too.

I gave a frustrated noise, "Why are you all so mean to me? I just got back and this is how I'm treated? I can see that no one wants me here, so I'm leaving," that's when I turned, and Fenris let me go because he was shocked at my words, but he recovered quickly. I didn't even take one step before he grabbed my arms again and pulled me toward him.

As I was pulled toward him, my back pressed against his front, his scent filled my nose for the first time since I entered the room, and I just relaxed in his embrace.

Fenris didn't even get a chance to get possessive on me because Anders spoke up with a voice still touched by the pain of my magic. "Mora, don't leave, please. I'm sorry. Whatever you did, I can't hear or feel Justice as much. It's like he's...muted..."

I imagined that Fenris and I made a pretty picture there. Fenris with an angry, defensive look on his face as his arms hold me to him, and me, wrapped in said arms, with an impassive look on my face as my head was turned to the right, half leaning on Fenris' chest.

"I don't want to talk about this. I said everything I needed to say. Brother, you can deal with him because...I'm through. You get once last chance, Anders, and if something like this happens again...an innocent girl, one your cause is supposed to champion, gets hurt because you become out of control, I will obliterate you," I said it so casually, as if I was talking to Fenris about mundane things.

Anders flinched, and I noticed that my brother's face tightened.

Hmm...something bothered me about that.

Instead of focusing on it, I turned to Caver who was watching everything with a neutral face. He was getting better at that. Honestly, the Wardens suited him.

When I took a step away from Fenris, I was surprised that he let me go. I went back up the stairs, hugged by brother, and bid him farewell. "See you soon. And be careful, I don't want to have to come and kill Stroud—"

My brother shushed me with a hug. "I will be careful, sister; my brothers and sisters will make sure of it," I smiled as I took a step back at his words, not a bit jealous. That is how it should be. The Wardens were family...maybe that was why this Anders thing was hitting to close to home. "You are the one who should be careful. That man-whore told me what you got up to in the Imperium. The Archon practically kicked you out so you didn't burn the place to the ground."

I smirked as I turned around and made my way back to Fenris. "How else was I going to get him to let me leave? Idiot was fascinated with me," I rolled my eyes at the memories. Bastard wanted to marry me too if it wasn't for the fact that I would destory the Imperium...

Carver swatted me on the behind, "Don't get into trouble," by the look of Fenris, who was still serious looking, I could tell my brother was addressing him. "Watch her; you know all the kind of mischief she can get into...especially right after she leaves that damn Elf. Make sure she doesn't acquire anymore lost Sparkly or Shiny things..."

Fenris chuckled as I reached his side, "You can be sure of that."

I frowned for a second; didn't I get Fenris...oh, that made sense. Fenris wouldn't let me go around collecting more people. I huffed, threw a wave behind me, before motioning for my two current lost Sparkly and Shiny things to follow me.

"You can find your way back to where you belong, my dear brothers," I say in form of a goodbye as we walk off together.

I let these two lead the way out of Darktown and, surprisingly, into Hightown. Once we were in the shadow of the courtyard between the mansions of Hightown (to the right) and the Chantry (to the left), I stopped and leaned against a wall looking around at the quiet and empty street.

"I think I missed Kirkwall," I said softly, lost in my thoughts.

"Oh?" Fenris raised an eyebrow, a teasing tint was in his voice as he continued, "And just what did you miss?"

"Not your corpse covered, vandalized mansion," I snarkily replied earning a chuckle from the two men, "I was so bored there," I said letting out a breath, "but it was more...caged than I thought. I felt...trapped, and sometimes, it was hard to breath."

My confession earned me a light touch from his arm to mine, brief, before I shook the memories off. "Anyway, I'm back, and it's only a mattered of time before Varric finds me and starts trying to pimp me out."

The Shiny Prince looked startled at those words, and I could have sworn there was something dark in there at the thought I would be pimped out, but I didn't understand it. Fenris, though, understood me. "Are you sure it is him that does the "pimping out" as you call it? I remember a woman who couldn't say no to anyone."

I gave him that one. Instead of replying, I yawned causing him to ask when was the last time I slept. I shrugged. "Didn't really sleep much because I could practically feel the magic in the Imperium. When I got back to Carver, I traded one watcher for another, and we came straight here. Stroud was nice enough to let me have him for a little bit—probably because Carver was assigned a mission in the area."

Fenris only stared at me, but I didn't look at his face. I knew what'd I see, and as much as I loved his concern, I really didn't want to see it. I was tired of being vulnerable, weak around him. Did I not promise Fenris to stop being so needy, clinging?

"There is something I wished to talk to you about, but it can wait until daylight. Do you need to be walked home?" Sebastian offered, then paused as he considered something, "You left before Hawke could tell you about your current living arrangements."

I turned to the red-head on my left and considered his words. We probably were stinking rich from the trip to the Deep Roads...

The Deep Roads...I hadn't let myself think about that place for three years. I flinched as I remembered a few things before steeling myself.

Fenris, though, saw it. "What happened in the Deep Roads?"

"My brother didn't tell you?" I asked, surprised and a bit upset. I really didn't want to relive the damn experience.

Fenris shook his head, his eyes concerned. "Hawke only gave a brief overview ending with you joining Carver."

I sighed, again, and ran a hand through my hair. Shit. When did it come undone from the braid?

"Hell, it was. I never really have liked the Deep Roads...especially not since the war..." I trailed off, the flashes of a past long gone went in my mind.

In the end, I wondered if we ever did the right there, interfering. Maybe it would have been better if we had been stuck on the Other Side. We seemed to fuck up every race we come in contact with. First, the dwarves, then the People, and now...it was only a matter of time before we completely screwed over the humans and others as well.

Sebastian must have saw something in me because he ended the discussion. "Sleep, and we can talk in the morning."

I hesitated, "What did you need? I'm afraid once light hits, Varric and Hawke will come after me. The former demanding details and the latter, well, I don't know what he wants."

Sebastian looked to Fenris who nodded...they seemed to be on good terms. Did they bond while I was away? On that note, why the hell was my Shiny Prince with Hawke?

Those blue eyes turned to me, snatching all my attention, "I discovered some information about who was behind the hiring of the mercenaries that murdered my family," his accent bled heavily as his voice deepened when talking about what had happened.

Fuck me sideways; I am a horrible person. Here he is thinking about his murdered family and I'm thinking about what that accent is doing to my insides.

Damn you, Zev!

I get control of myself and nod. "Tomorrow, it is then. After my brother and Varric storm the mansion and we get that taken care of, Fenris and I will be by to investigate this further."

His eyes lightened at my words, at our proposed meeting tomorrow, and I couldn't help but smile. Something deep inside of me was more than happy about what was about to happen. I felt drawn to this man since the moment I entered Kirkwall.

Now, as we stare at each other, I felt it again. The old Fade-Song. As I took in it, I felt that everything would be fine. Duties and us in all. For the first time in a long time, I had Faith that everything would work out.

I smiled at him one last time and turned away. I wanted to touch his arm, something, connect my body with his, but I knew that if I did that, we wouldn't leave. I'd take him home with me, and I wasn't sure, despite the connection the two had, that it would be okay with Fenris.

~WAR~

Varric might be a Rogue, but he would never get one up on me. Ass tried to sneak in to the mansion and catch...well, he didn't really say what he wanted, but I knew that he wanted to catch Fenris and I in some sort of something.

Fenris was a very private person, and as much as he liked being part of Hawke's group (or, when I'm there, more part of mine), the ex-slave _did_ not want them knowing his private business. Especially with the fact that he now _had_ such business.

(Did we really have such business if the two of us weren't having sex?)

Varric always knew the line to **not** cross whether verbally or physically, but this morning, with me back in the city, he seemed to disregard that awesome privacy line.

I had been so deep in sleep—the first time in three years that I actually felt peace when sleeping, truly safe—and the little bastard had to stick his nose in something that didn't concern him.

(I found out later exactly why he had to know, but at this moment, I was annoyed as fuck.)

The wards that I had placed on the mansion had gone off, but I had let down my guard when sleeping that I didn't even notice them (neither did Fenris for that matter—was being together after three years apart so soothing that we dropped our guard?).

It was only when he was at the foot of Fenris' bed and made a shocked noise (no doubt that I was sleeping peacefully in Fenris' arms) that I reacted. I grabbed my handy murder-knife from under the pillow and threw it at him.

I was actually aiming to kill him, bastard was lucky he was a dwarf, and I wasn't aware enough to take that into account when throwing the damn knife.

"Holy fuck!" I heard him cry as he dived out of the way.

I growled as I got up out the bed, Fenris already reacting, going for the sword next to the bed, but the lack of killing intent in me had him pausing as he actually took note of what was going on before he actually got out of the warm bed. Lucky bastard.

I made it around the corner, leaning against the angled edge as I glared hate (with a little bit of death) at the dwarf on the ground not even five feet away from me.

"You almost killed me!" Varric was still in shock.

"And I would have, had I been slightly more aware of your body size," I told him in annoyance. "You really shouldn't try and sneak up on a sleeping assassin or whatever the hell Fenris is."

"You are always up when we come in," Varric tried to defend himself as he stood up on shaky legs (apparently, the thought I was going to kill him (really do it), disturbed him), "besides, you never do this when we have to camp out."

I rolled my eyes, "Because the two of us know what's going on around us."

Fenris continued from the bed area (was he still in bed? Bastard.), "We expected the lot of you to at least come after us when light hit," I could tell he was trying to keep control and not growl. Oh, he was not happy.

When Varric got himself stood up and under control, his eyebrows shot up into his blonde hair as he 'eeped' and covered his eyes, "Why aren't you wearing pants, woman?"

Fenris, even though his annoyance, chuckled from behind me at Varric's display. His amusement won out at Varric's discomfort. I was a bit surprised that he wasn't mad about the fact that I was half naked and Varric was looking at me.

I had a long shirt on and only my underwear for bottoms. It covered my underwear, but it left my legs bare.

"Well, if you didn't want a peek, then you shouldn't have tried to sneak in here. You're lucky I don't sleep in the nude!" I huffed before I turned around towards Fenris, who was already dressed, and I caught some pantaloons of mine that he threw to me. Without two seconds, they were on.

I turned around to look at Varric, who was still covering his eyeballs. Such a good dwarf; on the other hand, it was amusing that he was probably going to have nightmares after this—Maker forbid I tell my brother—forget nightmares, Varric would be dead. "Leave the room unless you want to see me topless. Then, I'd have to kill you," I warned, and as soon as the words were out of my mouth, he was gone.

Fenris chuckled softly as he handed me the rest of my armor, helping me into it.

By the time I started getting my armor on, Fenris already was in his. Lucky bastard hadn't changed his armor at all; though, it did always look complicated taking it on and off...but he did it with such ease and made it look easy and smooth.

On a different note, I was always amazed that we hadn't jumped each other yet even though we had seen each other unclothed at a few points, but it seemed that our control was pretty damn good.

With Dorian as a constant companion, I had better armor that looked quite hot. Simple long sleeve top that didn't give much protection on the arms, but that was what I had thicken armored gloves that covered three fourths of my arm. Pure black both of them. The top, though, went down to my feet behind me. It was like I had a tail in the back that went reached down the sides of my legs only dipping into the front a few inches as, in the front, it went down past my waist in a downward triangle, going no further than where my crouch area was.

You could clearly see my pants in the front, a strip really. Over the under top was a blood red corset armor shirt. It covered over the top of my breasts, so even if I didn't have the black material underneath, you couldn't see much. The straps held it in place and connected it to the back part were only a few fingers wide. The seams were black, but the top was red completely. I had wanted the whole thing to be red, so if I was injured, no one would know, but Dorian about had a fit (he said something about my mixed hair).

After Fenris help me put the top part on (as the over top had something in the back I needed help with—damn Dorian and his fashion shit) in less than a minute, I sat down and got my boots on. Fenris only leaned against the wall he once through the bottle against—that seemed so long ago. I honestly couldn't remember when he cleaned up the glass, though.

When my boots were on, the two of us grabbed out weapons, stuck them in their sheathes, attached them to our persons, and left the room.

Fenris led me to a room that held a table and some chairs where Varric seemed to be hiding. When I left for the Deep Roads, this room hadn't been cleared out. Wonder how and who got Fenris to clear this room out?

We spent the next few hours talking; Varric did most of the talking, filling me in on what happened in the last few years, making sure I knew that his brother was still high on his to-kill-list.

"Speaking of that traitor, I have a lead that I want us to check out later today, but it can wait until nightfall after we go see Aveline. She's been asking about you and Hawke coming to see her," Varric informed me only to pause, "How did Aveline know you were coming back today, Chrysanthemum?"

I shrugged after a brief glare at the name, "Someone probably sent a letter. How should I know? Master was going to take me here, but something came up with the Crows, and he had to run. Zev didn't want me anywhere near him when they came after him. Even though I had a clean break, as clean as one can get with the Crows, he didn't want them near me."

Varric looked thoughtful at my words, but the blonde didn't reply because someone knocked on the front door, and my ward alarm went off before the knocking started. There were a few seconds of waiting before said person came in...it felt like Hawke.

I sighed, "Now why couldn't you have come with him?" I asked as I jerked my thumb toward the black-haired man coming through the doorway toward us. "I haven't had a good sleep for about three years now which you ruined. Stupid Dwarf couldn't wait until the bloody sun came up."

My brother sat down next to me at the table and raised an eyebrow. "Really? Fenris gives you a good night sleep?"

I could tell there was nothing perverted or sexual about his question, and I only looked at him. "Have you been in the Imperium? The magic there is...sunk into the ground, and not all of it is good magic. The blood and death..." I trailed off as I leaned into my elbows, rubbing my eyes, my loose hair falling around my arms.

No one brought it up again, but Hawke did say something else, "When you're ready, sister, Aveline wants to see us."

I nodded as I stood up, my hand making a motion toward the door, "You first, brother-dear."

Varric and Hawke went ahead of us, and Fenris was by my side before we even got out of the doorway of that particular room. He bumped his arm, careful of his spikes, to mine for a second before putting a slight distance between us.

~WAR~

"You want my help with what?" I asked, completely shocked and surprised. I almost stuttered.

My words actually made Aveline do a double check before she came to a different conclusion, "Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can help," she stated decisively, and I was not insulted at all.

"Damn straight it doesn't. I don't know shit about courting someone," I snorted, my experience was just go with what was there, "Apparently, I can't do it or I don't do it well enough seeing as I am still a virgin," I huffed, ignoring the looks everyone gave me. Varric looked at me disbelieving before looking back at Fenris while my brother tried not to laugh. "This fucker here," I jerked my thumb at him for the second time this day, "has seduced quite a few village girls in his time. If I remember correctly, he even got himself a Chantry Sister on his first try, and when I say first try, I mean _first time_. I was actually home for that fun tale."

Aveline scolded Hawke while Varric barely contained himself as he demanded the story. Fenris was trying not to react to anything, and Hawke looked ready to murder me.

"Besides, Aveline, as much as I want to help you because you are family, even if this is awkward as hell, the Qunari outside was giving the signal saying that the Arishok wants to see me. That and I promised the Shiny Archer that I would help him after we talked to Varric and Hawke," I tried to seem sorry, but I really wasn't, considering I really _didn't_ want to be involved with this.

"Before you go, that Templar from before, the one who was investigating the disappearing women...remember, we worked on it together. You might not remember considering a Desire Demon kicked your ass," Aveline gave me a look that I knew wasn't teasing. Did the woman know how? "I need you back here to deal with that. I am getting tired of him..."

I shrugged, "Make Hawke take care of it. Like I said, the Qunari are asking after me and that may take a while. Besides, Aveline, I do not want to get anywhere near that shit. I'm tired of blood magic, and if I'm near it any time soon, I might lose my shit. Please remember, I did spend a year or more in the Imperium. They may keep that shit hidden, but you can still _feel_ it," I shivered, remembering the feel of the magic. Maybe if the blood magic wasn't so full of death, I might not feel so bad...

"I'll take care of it, Aveline, after we get through with what you need help on," my brother volunteered causing Aveline to dismiss me and Fenris leaving her to strategize with my brother on the best way to court a member of her guard.

As I closed the door to her office as she mentioned something about chickens (or goats?), I just sighed and gave Fenris a side glance. "Her best bet is just to tell him and get it out there. She is going to make this a huge ass mess..."

Fenris only snorted in that way of his that let me know he thought my words were ironic, but the silver-headed Elf didn't say anything.

We both were quiet as we left the Keep and made our way to the Chantry. His silence was bugging me, though.

Did I say something wrong?

When we were almost there, I had to ask. "Did I say something wrong?" I questioned, really concerned now.

Fuck, here I was getting back into the habit of him needing to reassure me.

Weak ass bitch I was.

Fenris just cocked an eyebrow at me. "Your greatest problem is that you don't mean to do shit, and to make it worse, you aren't even aware you're doing it or what you've done has caused."

What the fucked did that mean? Was he saying that I seduced others, courted them, without meaning to? Was he accusing me of unintentionally seducing someone? Was it him or someone else? Was the thought that I was cheating on him, despite us not actually being in an actual, verbally-confirmed, relationship? How did that make sense?

Fenris, why do you confuse me all the time? Was this him telling me that I was created a problem with my careless and unintentional courting/seducing? Or just my actions in general?

Who the fuck was I doing this with? If it was Fenris...wouldn't we have already succumbed? Maker knew if he started trying to fuck me, I sure as hell wouldn't stop him.

So what was he talking about?

~WAR~

Sebastian knew something was up with the two of us when I collected him, but the Shiny Prince didn't say anything about the tension between Fenris and I.

As we made our way to the mansions of Hightown, my Shiny Archer filled us in on who hired the mercenaries. As we walked, I could how this affected him. There was a confliction in him. Sebastian's time in the Chantry was hurting him, making him feel guilty for trying to gain his Retribution.

We were on our way to confront the lying backstabbers who used to be allies of his parents only to turn on them when I decided to put in my two silvers about how and why this happened.

"There's probably a demon involved," I informed then when we got to the door of the traitors' home.

Fenris snorted, "It's always a demon."

"Or a mage," I added with a serious air that had both of them looking at me half like they wanted to hit me and the other half as if they just didn't know what to do with me.

I giggled before placing my hand on the door in front of me. I closed my eyes and just felt. Not even a second later, I threw myself back, glaring at the door.

I didn't even wait until one of them asked me what I felt, "There is bad magic inside. It's making my head hurt. It feels deep, though. So maybe they dug beyond the basement and found something that they shouldn't have. I've been getting that feeling in Darktown...something is down there..."

Fenris groaned. "We are not going to go looking for trouble," he warned with a glare in his eyes.

Instead of getting defensive like I would have before, I rolled my eyes at him before turning back to the door. "I'm not in the mood for that shit, so no, I'm not going to go looking for it. But," I muttered as I really thought about it, "It's going to find me..."

Sebastian took the opportunity to put his hand, the right hand for he was on my left, on my shoulder. "If it finds you, we will be here at your side."

I sighed and touched my cheek to his hand for a brief moment before looking back at the door. "Let's go fuck up some traitors. Fenris probably hasn't had his quota of ripping people's hearts out today, or for a while, so let's go!" I tried to say it positively, but it didn't work, and Fenris tried not to snort while Sebastian seemed to be slightly confused.

"Why does he have a quote for ripping people's hearts out?"

I busted out laughing only to have Fenris grumble from behind me as I opened the door. "You might want to ask him. I still want to know why he wishes to vandalize mansions..."

My sparkly elf decided that was his que to push me through the door.

I held my tongue as we went through the mansion trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. I said nothing about the drugged out drunk woman, nor the man who wanted a beautiful golden elf. I loved it when Sebastian actually punched the male elf who was just as out of it as the human male...who then wanted to be golden himself.

I was trying so hard not to say anything because the Maker knows it would have pissed Fenris off. Besides wanting to have molten gold poured on you, I really didn't see anything wrong with what was going on. I felt the magic, but my mind was telling me that it probably was some deep mushroom mix with fenlandris (that rare ass plant that grew no where but with the dragons...) and dragonthorn (fucking weed).

Besides, me commentating on the madness going on around us wasn't really going to help.

"Do you feel something, my lady?" Sebastian asked after we left the golden man, "Are they touched with magic?"

I hesitated on saying something, but told him what I thought anyway. "I feel the magic, but it's deep underneath us, so, maybe, it is rising up, but I think this is some mushroom mix myself. I was traumatized with the effects of it. I refuse to go to the Anderfels ever again," I shuddered for good effect.

"Perhaps it is both?" Fenris suggested with disgust in his voice (as it always was when speaking of mages and his former master), "The Magisters sometimes mixed herbs and the like for powerful magic."

I sighed, giving the golden man another look, before spotting a chest on the other side of the room. Well, if I didn't, Varric would lecture me...

"My lady...what are you doing?" Sebastian questioned as I robbed the chest then turned to the table to find a random page of the drugged drunk woman's diary. When I finished reading, my focus stayed on the page.

"Varric would give me hell (and so would the whore) if I didn't steal something. Rogue, after all, darling," I informed him distractedly as I picked up the page. "So, there _is_ something underneath us. Your drugged lady said her mother was expanding the estate."

I handed the paper to Fenris who quickly looked it over before handing it to Sebastian. The Chantry boy protested weakly before reading it. Did Fenris read it? If he did, I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't fulfil my promise to help him learn. Sad me.

The next mad person had Sebastian immediately turning me around with my head face first in his chest plate. "I am so sorry, Raven, forgive me as I did not mean to expose you to such...things."

My eyes were wide as I looked frantically at Fenris who just smirked. I almost started to freak out with the "lower" and "feather" talk going on.

"You know, I may be a virgin, but I have a pretty damn good imagination, and just hearing that shit makes it worse..." I informed my archer who only tightened his grip on me, refusing to let me turn around.

"You should not have to see such things," Sebastian started but stopped when the so called "prude" as my archer called him started asking the female elf to "felicitate" him along with a brother.

That's when I tried to make my way to the door, "I am not watching a threesome, nor some felicitating, sorry. As I said, traumatized," I'm seriously wondering if this is the Creator's way of telling me that I am going to be in one; otherwise, why the fuck all this threesome shit?

Fenris attempted to stop me on the way to the door, "What is this felicitate?"

I turned my head away from Fenris, a blush creeping up my face but stopped when I saw the locked chest. To distract myself, though I didn't really hear anything sexual going on (so I assume they stopped just like the golden man), I went for the chest and pulled out my lockpicks.

This time Sebastian didn't say anything, but when I was finished, both of them were eying me as if they weren't going to leave here without me telling them what the word meant.

As they blocked the exit, I spotted beyond them away from said exit a diary page like the one downstairs, dodged them, and started reading it. I ended up just grabbing them thing when he mentioned the manacles.

When we were outside the room, I handed the diary page over to Sebastian before carrying on to the rest of the place. We didn't run into any more people as I robbed the place blind. As we headed down stairs to the basement, Fenris spoke up.

"Varric will be proud when he hears of your looting," Fenris teased, but stopped when he noted the dead body on the ground. While I looted the body, Sebastian was distracted by the zombie-like woman (was it the drunk drugged lady from before?) in the middle of the room. I grabbed the bow and some coins off the body when the lady suddenly became all three of the mad people.

They collapsed as they forbade us entrance, then the demons came.

I pulled out my blades and threw my body at them, spinning in an arc as I got closer. I landed beyond the desire demon and took out the two shades there. Fenris went toe to toe with the demon while Sebastian took out the rest of the shades. When I finished, I shoved my right hand toward the demon as I turned around, snapped my fingers, and an ice shard rose from the ground to impale the whore just as Fenris cut its head off.

I looked Fenris over quickly before smirking, "I told you, demons."

Both of them only snorted at my words before the archer spoke, "We must go deeper to find out what greater evil they were protecting."

I agreed and made my way forward with my blades out and in a resting position at my sides, blades up as we went deeper. It was clear that the house went very deep into some kind of cavern, temple thing. Someone no doubt sealed it away after trapping something.

"A ruin so close to Hightown? I remember no such thing," Sebastian confusedly commented before I told him my theory.

"Someone probably buried the ruin centuries ago when they sealed something down here," I took a breath, steadying myself as I let my senses go before nodding, "Yeah. I can sense what remains of the seals."

"Can we use them to reseal the demon or can we kill it?" Fenris questioned as we paused at the bottom of the stairs. I knew what he was really asking. Was this demon so powerful none could kill it and only seal it? If so, could we kill it?

I turned my head to the side fully looking at him. "Do we really suffer a demon to live? Especially when it is, probably, behind the deaths of the Shiny Archer's family?"

Fenris grinned darkly as we went deeper in.

A few shades greeted us and thought to stop us, but they soon were murdered. The trouble started with the fucking Revenant appeared.

"What did I say about dead things? Hmm? One day, I swear this on the Creator, if I see another death thing come back, I will say fuck it and let it take over the world," I gave an insane laugh before doing my rogue thing and went to murdering this bastard too.

When we finished taking it and the reinforcements that came to life after we killed it, Sebastian looked at me oddly. "Truly, dear heart?"

I looked him dead center in his sky-blue eyes, fuck those eyes of his and Fenris' too as they made me want to take back what I said, but I held true. "Things that die should stay dead..."

Something seemed to shift in him as I said that, his eyes changed, flashed, before settling back to blue. The Shiny Prince nodded as if he understood before he asked, "What if we die?"

I started to have a panic attack at his words before I got ahold of myself. I didn't need to think about what would happen if he or Fenris died. I already knew what I would do. "I would rip the Veil apart, find your soul, and drag your ass back to this world. Albeit, in a different body if that is what you desired."

Sebastian's eyes went impossibly wide. "You would destroy _everything_ just for me?"

I knew exactly what he meant. Everything I sacrificed for with the wolf...

My eyes took in both of them, Fenris was unreadable with Sebastian looking at me with disbelief, "I would burn this world to the ground for any of you," was my quiet reply. I wasn't kidding. I would destory this world over and over for those I loved.

After all, what else could I do after all they have given me? Besides, I was a selfish person. It's why I identified with dragons so much. When I decided that you belonged to me, and your ass agreed, there was no changing anything. You were mine.

For-fucking-ever.

No one said a word as we journeyed deeper into the ruin. That had skeletons everywhere. I seriously wondered if every ruin had the same decorator, or if there was some sort of ruin, creepy place, decorating requirement.

Without a thought to our serious situation or the conversation we just had, I posed the question to my guys.

Fenris took a breath, closed his eyes, and actually prayed. Sebastian only blinked before he finally shrugged as if to say what the hell, and started to consider my question.

"I think it's just something that randomly happens during the making of such a place," was his answer, "It's easier, I assume, to just leave dead bodies lying around than to clean it up because, again I assume, many people perish either upon making these places, burying them, or finding them again. Besides, it does add to the atmosphere."

That made a hell of a lot of sense. "That's probably why Fenris does not clean his place up leaving all the dead bodies all over the mansion."

Fenris raised an eyebrow, "Are you suggesting that my mansion is akin to these ruins and creepy places where people conduct, no doubt, blood magic rituals and summon demons?" he seemed to try and not be insulted.

Fenris really should have known that I didn't mean anything by it. Sebastian, though, came to my rescues and tried to explain it to my elf. "She only meant it as a deterrent, to warn people away."

Fenris didn't look really impressed, but the silver-head man didn't seem insulted anymore.

It took about ten more minutes before we finally got to the end of the ruin, but we did have to kill one of those dead mages. I hate them so much...dead things should stay dead...

When we saw the desire demon, I turned sideways (while keeping the bitch in my sights) toward my guys, "What did I say? Demon," I sang before turning to the old woman and answered the question of what she should give the demon in exchange for whatever she now wanted, "You know, I hear that at the Rose, it's a standard fifty silver for a whore, but I don't think demons want coin."

Sebastian was too outraged at the woman then the demon, for he blamed her, "No shit," that he really didn't regard me or my commentary.

Fenris only sighed at me, exasperated, but I huffed. "I stayed quiet up there," he raised an eyebrow, "for the most part," I offered only to have him counter, "what does felicitate mean?"

I shushed him and told him to pay attention to Sebastian and the demon, though when it started going on about how I wanted power, I put a stop to that. "I don't _want_ power. Power is something I could happily live without. Unfortunately, the path I am on requires it, and I will do whatever it takes to..." I paused as I really thought about it. Did duty still matter to me? Or was my only purpose now to make right on what I did wrong before?

Duty was how I continued on with my life; it was the path that helped me fulfill my purpose. Duty, purpose, can always change. In fact, it does. It changes with you and the situations you find yourself in. My duty during the Blight, in Amaranthine, in Kirkwall, and even in the Imperium were all different.

With Sebastian and Fenris by my side, my duty was to them. That was what this was about. This is why we were here in this creepy ruin actually talking to a demon.

I held my head high, and I felt my Guardians align with me, "My duty is to them, and I will do whatever it takes for them."

Of course, I could hear in the back of my mind Fenris' voice saying that is how the path to blood magic and demons started, but with him by my side, there was no need to fear. If I went bad, he would be there to pull me back or kill me.

When the demon started to talk to them, Sebastian spoke up, "Do not listen to this wretched demon."

That is when it fully turned on him. "So much ambition...are you so different from my lady? You want the power; you want the throne. You were content before to let your brother rule and to stay within the caged chantry, but now, you have a chance. You can finally have enough power for _her_. Will being a prince, a ruler, make her want you more than the _wolf_? If you were more of her equal, would she actually _see_ you?"

The blood in my veins as well as my heart froze at this. Did I really drive him to this? Was he really content as the demon said in the Chantry? Was seeing me, starting to awaken the memory-Archer inside of him, enough to change him completely? From Chantry devote to obsessed with me.

I truly wondered if there would be a time that I would stop hurting those I loved. I ignored him, and it drove him to want to change himself, something so wrong, just because he thought he could be with me as a result?

I gripped my blades so hard that even though my palms were wrapped around the handles, they bled. This was my legacy...this was my love. Deadly and changing. Maybe it would be better if I stayed trapped inside of that damn prison and never came out.

After all, it was me that ended up destroying my People and the men who chose to love me.

I couldn't even bare to look at either of them, but I knew I was their entire focus. My anguish was easy to read, to feel, and it seemed to give Sebastian strength to deny the demon, pull an arrow out, fill it with a power he hadn't known in a long time, and let it fly at the bitch.

Sebastian's aim was, somewhat, true, even though the demon turned. The power he had in that arrow had an area of effect and burned the bitch's face. It screamed signaling the battle to begin.

I had been stunned by my emotions for a moment too long, and the desire demon targeted me right off the bat. Fenris pushed me away, knocking me to the ground, and his blade blocked the intended attack.

I came to myself then; gathered my blades and unleashed my negative emotions onto the demon and the shades. The battle didn't take long, and after it was over, I think we all felt like we had been touched by the demon.

It made me wish for a bath to wash away the filth of its words.

None of us said anything even Sebastian as he looked down at the body of a woman he had once called ally and friend to his parents. I looted around while I cleared my mind of the question of why demons and shades had coin and weapons on their bodies. When done, we were silent as we made our way back. I said nothing, at first, as Sebastian conversed with Flora, the drugged-drunk woman.

Before we left though, after she let it be known of her support, I spoke up, "So to be clear, it was the demon's influence not some drug that made you all mad?"

Flora looked taken aback. "What kind of drug mimics a demon's influence for what else could have made us do those things?"

I looked at her all serious, "You do not want to know."

As we left the mansion and headed for the chantry, Fenris just had to bring that word back up, "I am still wanting, da'lath."

I groaned as started banging my head into the nearest wall. He knew if he called me that, that I would do almost anything he wanted.

Bastard.

Fenris just chuckled while Sebastian showed his worry in his voice, "Is it that bad? Vhenan'ara, you do not have to tell us."

My head snapped around to look at him, eyes wide. The desire demon's words came back to me.

I didn't deserve them...

I sighed. I would give them what they wanted if just because they found my weakness and spoke those endearments.

Damn me.

"It basically has to do with the feather, anal, and something else that I just am not going to mention, so please, stop asking," I begged as my face was beyond red, and I was trying to hide in my hands.

When I peeked out from behind my hands, Sebastian looked disturbed while Fenris had settled on being vindictive instead of jealous.

Sebastian then blushed as he must have thought about something dirty and rushed away toward the Chantry with a quick excuse to see him later.

As Fenris and I watched him rush off, I asked him, "Did we break him?"

Fenris just shook his head in silent laughter, the smirk still on his lips, "Sometimes, it is very amusing to see you so corrupted yet so innocent."

I only hummed wondering what we were going to do while Sebastian calmed down when we ended up heading for Lowtown.

We briefly ran across my brother, and it looked like he was swearing vengeance against me with his eyeballs. We passed him only for me to run in the opposite direction, away from Lowtown, back for the Chantry.

Fenris said nothing, but it was clear that I continued to amuse him. "You know, you keep laughing at me and you're sleeping alone."

Fenris only raised an eyebrow, "And where will you sleep? Hawke seems to have a grudge for something against you."

I only shrugged. "It's probably for leaving him with the courting thing with Aveline. You should be thanking me for getting us out of that one. Besides, I still have Varric. Or the Qunari. I'm sure the Arishok would be more than willing to let me spend a few nights—" Fenris only growled and started dragging me toward the Chantry.

When we did see Sebastian, it seemed that he calmed down somewhat. The red-head did raise an eyebrow when Fenris pushed me toward him as he leaned up against the balcony. "This one is going to sleep with Varric and the Qunari," Fenris told on me leaving out the part where this was conditional on him continuing to laugh at me.

I was about to pout when Sebastian gave me one of those stern, lecture looks as if he was disappointed in me. I always hated those looks from him. It'd always be him, though. Memory-Fenris would rant and get angry. Compassion would just sigh and cuddle until I decided to forgo whatever it was he disapproved of. The other would just stare blankly at me until I gave in. My wolf would logically debate and argue with me (almost) always winning because I'd want to bash his head.

Sebastian didn't say a word, though, because I put my head down in shame. I was making them worried again...when would I stop doing bad shit like this?

Of course, my shame seemed to bring back whatever dark thoughts Sebastian had before we came in.

"I can still hear the demon's voice so clearly. I feel like I've bathed in filth that will never come off. I know I resisted, but still...there were no lies in those words," Sebastian confessed. "It's true. My brother lies in ashes, and I still want what he had, and now that I do have it..."

He couldn't even voice the other bit, either. I could practically feel the shame coming off him as well as the longing.

This was his battle and all I could offer was support. Sebastian wouldn't even look at me as I came closer, so if he wasn't going to look at me, I was going to go behind him. I rested my head on his back, my hands gripping underneath his arms but lower on his sides than where my head rested.

"I cannot take these emotions from you, though I wish I could," I whispered. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I have taken power for those I love, and that is what you wish to do, is it not? I know not why you have accepted the Chantry, but there seems to be something that pulls you out of it as much as in. All I can say is follow your heart. If you believe your duty lies with your people or with the Chantry, either way, the choice is yours, and I will support you."

Sebastian only sighed and looked at Fenris to his right for a moment before turning back to the front. "What that demon stirred in me...I cannot give Starkhaven everything I am if there is doubt in my heart. No matter want, before the Chantry, before my people, there will always be something else that comes first," I stiffened at this, "and nothing will ever change that."

"For what it's worth, I'd think you would make a kick-ass prince, king, whatever," I said softly into his back before I took a step back and to the side to stand next to Fenris. Ah, I was so good at deflecting.

"Well, I owe you a doubt I can never repay, so you have my services until I figure out what to do," Sebastian vowed as he turned to the side to looking at me, giving me a small smile.

I grinned as my Shiny Archer seemed to take a step back, and Fenris had that look on his face that he usually reserved for me when I just walked into something. "I can think of quite a few "services" for you to perform."

"What? Why are you smiling like that—oh," he turned to look away from me as he rubbed the back of his head. "Oh, my, um, that, that's is not what I meant. I think I need to pray...a lot," stuttering a bit at the end.

I giggled before winking at him, "Well, you know where I am if you ever wish to help with those "services," I even used finger quotes causing him to blush more. "I mean, who knows, I may come back into the Chantry one night actually looking to steal something this time," oh, I just know I had an absolutely predatory and perverted look on my face.

I wonder if it would be stealing his virtue or he'd be stealing mine...

Fenris couldn't hold back as he laughed; a part of me glad he wasn't going all possessive and jealous (what the fuck happened these last three years?). Sebastian just looked between us before something in him changed, his accent thickened when he replied, "I guess I'll just have to catch you again, little assassin."

Something in his eyes told me he was deadly serious, and the thought turned me on. I went to take a step forward, his eyes darkened as if I was challenging him, but Fenris decided to grab me, throw me over his shoulder, and head out of the Chantry with me.

I was in complete shock and it seemed so was Sebastian before my Shiny Archer chuckled briefly before something caught his eyes, those blue tools of seduction widened as he blushed, and then he muttered something about praying before running off.

~WAR~

Fenris carried me all the way through Hightown, down the steps, and into Lowtown. I got so many eyes on me that I wanted revenge. I made him take me to Merrill's house. He grumbled but did as I asked.

When I knocked on her door, she ushered me inside telling me she had something to show me. When I came to her other room, I about pissed myself.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she said with so much admiration.

My heart stopped as I took in the mirror. "Merrill," I called with alarm and she quickly looked at me, "where did you get that?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck was running through my head, and Fenris was behind me cursing.

The blood mage looked alarmed at my freak out, "Do you know what this is?" then, as an afterthought, she said to herself, "Of course, she knows what this is."

Dutifully, Merrill came to stand by me away from the mirror. "Merrill, there is a reason why these things no longer work. You need to stay away from them. Now is not the time to be messing with magic you do not understand. This is why your Clan was scared; you keep messing with magic you do not understand."

Merrill looked ready to cry, "This could help my people! This could restore us so much, give us knowledge of the ancient times—"

I cut her off. "Ancient times?" I said as bitterness consumed me. "It wasn't as magical as you think it was. There was so much war...the People destroyed themselves...do you really want that back? Besides, the mirror is cracked. Unless you knew everything about this specific mirror, you won't be able to restore it. Even then, you might not like where it leads." I warned.

The female elf sighed. "When we first found it, all we had were shards. I had wanted to find Tamlen, but he's probably dead by now."

I looked at the mirror than at her, not really understand what had happened in the past but going with it. "If you found shards, then he probably smashed the mirror. It could have killed him when it backfired magic or it could have sucked him in," I didn't like seeing her so sad, but I needed to be strong. Fixing this mirror could bring dangers on us, but...it could lead us somewhere we needed to go. If we ever needed to get out of the city in a hurry..."

I looked at Fenris and could see the struggle in him as well. The mirrors were one of the key parts of the ritual we used back then...

His silver-green eyes locked to mine. "It may prove useful," he said, but I could tell it kind of hurt to say it.

Merrill said nothing, but there was hope in her eyes.

I sighed. "I will examine the mirror later and see what I can do. Alright? We have to make our way down to see the Qunari—"

Merrill clapped her hands and started to ramble. "I'll go with you, help the quest go faster, then we can come back and do this. Oh, wait till they see! My clan will regret...Raven, why do you have a bow?"

Sometimes, I truly wondered if I somehow, unknowingly, had a kid before and Merrill was her descendent. Or even another niece or something. Seriously, Merrill was too like me sometimes.

But the bow she as talking about? I had forgotten about it. Apparently, Fenris and Sebastian were too distracted by what happened earlier that they didn't even notice I had one attached to myself. I can't say anything either; I had forgotten about it.

It wasn't the first time I carried around a bow and forgot I had it. I remember this one time in Amaranthine Anders had shouted at me to help him even though he was a bit away (I was too distracted to use magic). Anders then started yelling at me reminding me of the bow I carried.

Fun times.

~WAR~

Honestly? I still would rather do tasks with the Qunari than with blood magic. Even if it makes me want to bash my head in.

We had to find a missing patrol which turned into a disaster. Then, there was something about some dumb shit stealing not gatlook but poison shit that would kill all of Kirkwall (I think this was what my brother was swearing vengeance on...or was it the fact that he had to do that mission with the blood magic and missing girls?

Knowing Hawke, it was all the above plus the courting thing with Aveline. Hawke was probably going to swear off all missions with mages and the Qunari after this. No doubt Anders was a great help (and Raven said sarcastically, my inner Varric narrated).

While we were out on the coast doing the shit for the Qunari (and finished with ample time to spare), Merrill convinced us to just get the mirror thing over with, but I found that the trip up there was useless—except for the giant bug we killed.

I had not been paying attention, there were too many arrows pointed at me, until the Keeper tried to bless us despite her disapproval—it only amused me. "May the Dread Wolf never catch your scent."

I grinned wickedly because, really, these Dalish were getting on my nerves. "I hope he does, Keeper. I really wouldn't mind if Fen'Harel started stalking me. Seriously, it would be better than all the shit I have to deal with in Kirkwall."

Besides, there was a particular scent of mine that he liked. Anyway, my response ended up freaking out all the Dalish. Fenris wasn't amused; though, I think it was more that he was jealous. I was only trying to fuck with the Dalish not make him upset.

When we got the tool Merrill wanted (I hadn't been paying attention before I agreed to do the slaying of the beast), I protested. "This is what you think will fix the Eluvian? Merrill, this isn't going to do shit to that mirror. Give it back to the Dalish. What a waste of time," though I said that, the amount of shinnies and sparkles that the bug had was worth it.

The Dalish were happy, Merrill was kind of sad, but then she started mutter that if I was going to help her, then the mirror would get fixed.

Fenris and I blocked her out on the way back to Kirkwall.

When we got back to Kirkwall, I made a pitstop in the Chantry.

"What are we doing here, Raven? Are you going to pray? I didn't know you believed in the human's Maker," Merrill commented.

I blinked at her before just ignoring her. I had a Shiny Prince to seduce. Or be seduced.

Well, one of these days, someone was going to seduce somebody, and I would stop being a virgin.

Someday.

I found him kneeling and praying, probably for strength against the temptation that is me...I hope not. I didn't want him to have any strength to resist. That would defeat the whole purpose of seduction...of either kind.

"My lady, you've returned," Sebastian said with a smile on his face.

Oh, so no wariness. That means no praying for temptation resistance. Good.

I made a vow before things went to hell this year, like it did in the Deep Roads, I would be less of a virgin!

Hopefully.

I handed him the bow I had been carrying since we were cornered by the drugged-demon influenced Harrimans. I still think they were drugged...

"This belongs to you, at least I think it does."

"This is my grandfather's bow. To think I mourn this object as well as my family," he murmured before thanking me and explaining the meaning behind the bow. "As the youngest son, I was to head the army of Starkhaven, but I never had a talent with a sword. Not like the rest of you," he joked.

We all knew he was the best with a bow; it was to the point, I had begged him to teach me, once upon a time.

Sebastian then went to explain his grandfather's promise to him as well as his training. To have someone who cared like this, even if it wasn't a parent...it seemed Fenris and I didn't have much luck in that department. Unlike Sebastian.

But to lose everyone...I was feeling this...slowly myself.

Fenris lost everyone and doesn't know it.

I wondered which was worse...

Sebastian ended with, "My grandfather told me he would trade his crown for a life of contemplation if that was the Maker's will. He said that the Maker has a place for everyone. I had thought it was the Chantry, but...three years ago, I think the Maker showed me my true path," oh fuck me, those eyes. So serious, no doubt, only certainty.

Maybe I should look at my life that way. There was a reason I had been led to the Crows. The Crows ended up cursing me with the false-magic, but I don't know where I would be without it.

No. I know that I wouldn't have started awakening without it. I wouldn't have these connections with the two men in front of me. I wouldn't have the chance, the awareness, to make right what wrongs I committed long ago.

I nodded as I understood deep in my soul, "Yes, the Maker, Creator, whoever you believe in, led us all to Kirkwall with our specific pasts for a reason, and I find myself very thankful for it," I make sure both Fenris and Sebastian know how deadly serious I am as my eyes show them exactly like that.

I know as they look back at me, my Guardians, my anchors, that they feel it too. That they understand and feel the same.

~Notes/Names~

**CHRYSANTHEMUM** \- You're A Wonderful Friend; Cheerfulness and Rest

Da'lath: little love

Vhenan'ara: heart's desire


End file.
